"If you'll follow me, I'll lead you to the main hall." Bradley yanks her away from the war room, continuing to another wing. She wasn't a dog, she didn't need to be led. Yanking her hand away, she continues following the pudgy man to where ever he was taking her.
'The castle was enormous. Architecture of the Kupa Keep castle was nothing but luxurious. The ceiling seemingly millions of miles upward, the décor the appeared as though it came from all over the world.' The voice continues, as if giving needless exposition and setting. 'A castle fit for a princess.'
Lizzy scowls to herself, wanting to tell the narrator ghost voice… being to keep his mouth shut for a little while, but feeling as though Bradley wouldn't take to it too kindly, she stays silent.
She could see all this going on and yet here he was going on about things she had seen and heard. Maybe the sky voice was a explaining to himself what was happening, like an odd tick.
Or maybe he was an idiot.
Or maybe she was insane, who knows? Anything is possible.
She trails behind Bradley through this tranny brat's castle and how she hated to admit it, it was nice. Nothing Lizzy had ever seen before. But, the name… Kupa Keep. It sounded dumb for a place like this. It needed an extravagant name.
And much to her surprise, the halls were never empty. Each door the fat blonde would open, more knights would be rushing about, their stupid armor chiming with them. You could hear them a mile away! The battles against them wouldn't last too long, you'd always know where they were.
Bradley opens yet another the set of mahogany doors, pushing them aside and presenting her the cozy looking room, "You'll need to defend yourself on your quest. Do you have a weapon?"
"I have a dagger. If anything, I can poke them in the eye." she says with a sigh, running her fingers along a rather large mantle, admiring the blades. Some so large she was sure she couldn't lift them.
The stout man waddles up to the weapons hanging on the wall, looking them over. He places a hand on his cheek, looking over them as if he was this great historian or some shit. He was a berry and mint merchant. Not exactly a blacksmith extraordinaire.
"There was someone here at Kupa Keep a long time ago that was of great help to Kenny, before the treaty with the elves..." He reaches up on his tip toes, retrieving a jagged looking piece of rusted metal from a hook, examining it in his hands. "With this and his small companion, he was one of the best thieves and a great asset to the princess."
"He sounds like a real fun guy. Was his companion his dick?" she says absentmindedly, trying to block out his voice. Now he was narrating. Great. All she needed was two voices nagging her and her life would be complete.
'These were weapons that were once used in wars passed. Each of them having some significance to Princess Kenny. The people that stood by her side and had fallen or warriors that won great battles… a reminder of their bravery-' the voice drones on, appearing from out of nowhere to give her insight on something that didn't really interest her.
And it happened.
Two voices nagging her.
Life complete.
The woman finds herself gritting her teeth, a strong urge coming over her to cover her ears. The fucking history lessons were grating. Some thief's rusty ass dagger, blah, blah, blah and weapons from dead guys. It wasn't very hard to sum up in less than two sentences.
The stocky blonde brushes off a thin layer of dust from the dull blade, "He was exiled after the-"
Lizzy couldn't help but snap.
"Hey, nice history lesson and all, but does it look like I care?" Swiping the dagger from the man, Lizzy waves it in his face, "And what is this piece of shit anyways? That's all I get? A rusty fucking dagger? Where's the good stuff? The amazing armor and glamorous weapons? Shit. Next you're going to tell me to go clear a sewer or something."
Bradley stands, speechless which amuses the woman.
Finally, silence. Sweet silence.
'What do you think you're doing? Really? That's a master thief's dagger and you're complaining? You suck as a main character!' the voice berates her, sounding stern.
"Relax, it's just rusty! What am I supposed to do? Give them tetanus?" she practically shouts at the voice, partially at Bradley too, sick of hearing the both of them for one day. Her voice echoing in the worst of ways. She could wager Kenny had heard her.
"It's a master thief's dagger! If you don't want it, kindly give it back." The stout blonde holds out his hand.
Nag, nag, nag.
She places the holy grail of all daggers back into his hand, pouting, "Here, fine, chill. Just don't scrape yourself on the dullness."
Bradley returns the weapon back on the hook and she could hear the mysterious voice hum, 'At least say you're sorry.'
The pink parka woman sighs dramatically to herself. The mysterious voice was right. She was ragging on the poor man for nothing, she couldn't be a bitch all the time. "Sorry." She mumbles, "Didn't know it meant so much to you, being a merchant of berries and mint."
"Well… It's alright. Do you have a better suggestion for a weapon?"
Lizzy examines the great swords and the longswords and the more-swords and saw something very suitable for herself. Hanging just above the mantle was a very large, bright pink bow, and for added cuteness it had little red ribbons at the end. Fit for a princess such as herself. She points up to it confidently, "That."
"That's the princess's weapon! It's like a holy relic. You can't have that, choose another."
"I'm playing matchmaker for Kenny and that's a good down payment." She gestures to her parka, "Plus it matches my outfit."
"You can't have it." The rubs at his eyes weakly, seemingly tired of the woman in pink too. "Do you even know how to use a bow and arrow?"
"Give me it and I'll show you."
The man huffs, grabbing the bow and handing it off to Lizzy. She grasps it before lifting it up and then back down, as if checking the weight. She nods to herself, taking the bowstring and pulling it back before letting it go, watching it reverberate. "Now the arrows," He watches her closely, passing the quiver to her. She gives them a once over and places the bowsling and quiver of arrows on her back.
"So?" he asks curiously.
"I don't know how to use it but thanks for giving it to me."
He obviously doesn't take this very well, giving the woman a serious look.
Lizzy rustles through her knapsack, passing the man her personal dagger, "See, its trade until I get back. Plus, it's her old bow right? She won't be missing it. When I get back with a guy, she'll have it back and it'll be like it never left."
"…Promise?"
"Promise."
Bradley clears his throat weakly, "Now, let's go meet you're new companions."
With a little more walking, the two make it to, where she assumes is the main hall. Nothing too odd about it, besides the three men just standing there. Like the bachel- uh, like a guards ready for anything, standing on duty.
She takes a few steps forward, looking at the three curiously.
There's large, handsome man, a short blonde and a guy that looks like he hasn't taken a shower in at least the last century. Ugh, that guy was starting to reek a little, making Lizzy turn up her nose.
For everyone else here at Kupa Keep, she was sure that one didn't know how to wash… or even knew what a bath tub was.
'Three men are standing, awaiting their fate to be chose by such a…. lucky lady.' The voice says in a wisher, trying to mask the obvious sarcasm before hushing.
"Can't I have a dog?" Lizzy turns to Bradley, obviously not impressed, "Have a cat maybe? Or a falcon? A mail falcon to find a male?"
Bradley chuckles, sounding almost forced, "Lizzy, stop joking and choose someone to accompany you."
'There stood the men of valor, ambition, and determination. Three men that would help Lizzy on her quest.'
"Oh," she groans, "Here we go."
'Butter's held valor, being a paladin and one of the highest ranking in the knights. Dogpoo, a man who once belonged in another kingdom, traveling place to place, his ambitions driving him. And finally Token, an excellent fighter with dedication and determination to a goal, loyal, handsome and handy-'
Lizzy snaps her fingers, interrupting the voice without screaming like a madman, pointing at Dogpoo who smelled just like his name. "Him."
"Him?" the stout blonde says in surprise.
"There's already one blonde here, that's me," she shoves her hands in her pockets, "Plus, I don't want someone showing me up."
'Surely you would pick Toke-'
The woman shouts, her voice echoing off of the walls of the castle, "I said I wanted Dogpoo."
"I heard you," The dirty man gives the woman a once over, frowning. "I thought you'd be a bit taller."
She spits, "You stink like shit."
'And it seemed like the duo had become the best of friends.'
