This is the third of the three scenes following the Hard Master's death, this one from Snake Eyes' point of view. Contains a very minor spoiler for Arashikage if you haven't read it yet – namely, what Snake Eyes is thinking at this point of the story.
I finally lose the two other members of the clan that ran into me earlier and sigh in relief before groaning in despair.
For all the screaming they did when they found out I wanted to bring him in so he could have a chance to explain himself, about how they knew him better than me and even THEY could open their eyes and see he'd become a traitor, and for all the ranting about various anecdotes that put Tommy in a bad light and supposedly demonstrated he had been a monster at heart right from the start, they did manage to convey one truth.
Namely, the Soft Master's promise was meaningless: whether or not he lets him say anything won't make any difference, they're all completely convinced he's guilty. The only difference it will make if he's brought in rather than killed outright when he's found is to prolong things and possibly make his death more painful if the Soft Master forces him to commit Seppuku and proceeds to not decapitate him and to let him die slowly. Judging by the two men I just shook off, the clan's state of mind right now makes this a distinct possibility.
If I only knew whether he really does deserve this or not, it would make it a lot easier to decide what to do next. I can't believe he would have killed his uncle, or me since I may have been the target, but I do realize my denial is not rooted in reason. When I examine the facts logically, I'm force to draw the exact same conclusion as the clan. We could be wrong, though, couldn't we?
I clench my teeth – I'm being silly. It's as clear a case as anyone could wish and even if he did get a fair trial, Tommy would almost certainly be found guilty. I need to stop thinking of him as the man he was in the war: he's changed. I knew that much even before tonight.
On the other hand, I certainly would never have suspected he could have changed THAT much. Killing animals for fun, yes, I witnessed his doing that and I can wrap my head around it. I don't like it, but a lot of people hunt for sports – the fact I find it distasteful doesn't make it a heinous crime. But killing a member of his own family? I can't believe it.
I scowl at myself and try to brush the doubts away. Alright, it's a shock, but he did it. All the evidence says he did it: the arrow could only have been his and the person who shot it could only have been him; we know he was there because we saw him running away; finally, we know why he did it – he thought the Hard Master was about to make me the heir in his place.
So why can't I stand the thought of killing him or even just sitting this one out and letting his clan deal with him? Here I am, running through the City, searching for him, and I have no idea what I'm going to do if I find him.
If he really has killed his uncle, there's no telling how dangerous he's become. Even beyond the natural desire to avenge my Sensei's death, the right thing to do would be to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else and kill him as humanely as I can.
The problem is that despite all the evidence, there's still that part of me that can't believe he did that. I've learned a lot of things in the past couple of years, and one of them has been to trust my instincts. Right now, those instincts are telling me that Tommy is innocent. Now, at the same time, my brains are telling me my instincts are on crack, but still...
I'm still debating with myself and STILL not reaching any kind of satisfying conclusion when I find him. By this point, I'm so desperate for a solution I won't regret that I'm picturing losing a fight to him as the ideal scenario because then, he'd get away without it being my fault.
So, of course, I find him fast asleep on a bench. I almost run right past him and I come to such a sudden stop that what few people are around at this late hour turn to look at the pair of us. I sit down and try to look like I just needed a break until they look away again.
I hold back another groan and stare at him. I wish he'd wake up, but I can't wake him up myself, that'd be just like deciding to let him go: a possibility I still can't quite rule out.
Technically speaking, killing him right now would be easy, and I can do it without hurting him at all. I just need to apply a bit of pressure at the right place, and it wouldn't even look like I'm doing anything lethal to the passers by. He'd just be dead on the bench rather than asleep.
In reality, it's apparently impossible since I can't seem to so much as move my hand towards the spot I need. Maybe I do need to trust my instincts…
The fact is, logic be damned, I cannot believe he did this and I can't stand the thought of killing a man who saved my life. I owe him a life debt; I need to honour it. Right?
Right. Good. One decision down: I'm not killing him. Next up: do I bring him to the Soft Master? If I do, he'll still die and it'll still be my fault, so again, my life debt forces my hand: I can't bring him in, no matter what the Soft Master ordered.
Alright then, that leaves option three and four: go away and pretend I didn't find him, or help him escape. I look at him again and sigh: he's out cold. I suppose it's not surprising – we have been chasing him for over 72 hours. That eliminates option three: if I just leave him here, someone else is bound to find him and he'll be killed, again basically by my fault.
I sigh again, this time in relief: finally, a decision. The impression that I used my life debt as a way to make the choice easier crosses my mind but I dismiss it: it's a life debt, I HAVE to repay it.
I pinch the sleeping point below his ear and take out the pad of sticky notes and the pen I was given to leave coded messages to the other members of the clan if needed. I stare at both for a while, wondering what to write.
I need to save Tommy, but what if he really has become the murderer his clan believes him to be? I know the main reason I can't believe it is that I don't want to, I'm not blind to my own thoughts and feelings. How do I limit the damage I may do by saving him? Maybe I can direct his anger at me, so that if he really is on a rampage, I will be his target as opposed to anyone else. It's not the most solid of plans, but it's the best I can come with for now and I don't have time to dawdle on this – another Arashikage clan member could jump out of the shadows at any time.
The idea also has the added bonus that if he's angry with me and tries to murder me, it will be much easier for me to finally accept he really has turned into a monster and kill him. Finally, making him believe that even I want to see him dead will probably convince him he needs to disappear very far from here better than anything else could, so if he IS innocent, convincing him that I'm sure he's guilty and that I wish I could have killed him is actually the best thing I can do for him.
I think for a few seconds on how best to phrase something that expresses I wanted to kill him but couldn't because I owe him, and that I think he's a traitor and a murderer, but I can't come up with anything concise enough to fit on a sticky note until I remember Tommy used to amaze me by the things he could infer – rightly or wrongly - from the most innocent monosyllabic answers.
I write down "My debt is paid", sign and carry him to the nearest homeless shelter. I install him on one of the beds and stick the note to his chest. I know for a fact that he'll interpret it just like I want him to and that he'll be completely furious, but hopefully also spurred to leave the country and find safety if he's innocent or to come right for me if he really has become a cold blooded murderer.
I disappear back into the night, hoping I never see my brother again and cursing at the fact it has come to this.
Fin
