hey I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit boring but it's mostly about showing how Rin really feels for Sesshoumaru,
warning: a little spoiler in this chapter if you haven't read the end of the manga
CHAPTER 3: RINS CONFESSION JAKENS SHOCK
It had been a few days now since Rins attack and everything seemed to be back to normal apart from Rin being a little more jumpy than usual but that was to be expected, they were still headed for the Dark cup of mortality which Rin and Jaken still had no idea about. Well Jaken didn't know it was for Rin.
AhUn was getting very slow, this usually meant he was tired. Sesshoumaru noticed this so he lead them to a stop by the edge of a cliff which was at the clearing of a forest where the moon shone down on them, even Sesshoumaru had to get some rest from time to time and these kind of places were his favourite to stop. Rin giggled as she ran through the path of wild flowers before falling on the ground, she wanted a good view of their surroundings and her Lord, who was now resting against a large tree, Rin loved watching him sleep, for two reasons; one that she thought he looked absolutely breathtaking and the second was that he couldn't hide his peace with that emotionless expression when he was sleeping. cathcing sight of a daisy she couldn't help herself, she picked the flower and knelt in front of Sesshoumaru, picking the petals off one by one throwing them over her lord like confetti...chanting
"he loves me"
"he loves me not"
She picked off the last petal whispering "he loves me" throwing it over him.
She giggled in excitement but at that second it dawned on her how much that actually meant to her that he loved of corse she knew he could never love her the way she wanted him to, but deep down she knew he cared for her. she stared lovingly at the sleeping demon in front of her, eyes glistening. she was so washed away in her own fantasies she didn't realise Sesshoumaru had awoken and was watching her 'what is she doing, what's this flower petals no doubt Rin got ecited again because I was asleep' Sesshoumaru finished examining himself and then sighed
Rin came out of her daze to the sigh only to be faced with a pair of big golden eyes, blushing she turned away in embarrassment 'I hope he doesn't come to any conclusions as to why I was staring'
"Rin! Why am I covered in daisy petals?" Sesshoumaru asked curiously looking her directly in the face in search of anything to give away her reasons
"errrr I'm not sure my Lord, maybe they fell on you?" Rin said dumbly blushing a brighter red this time.
"Did you do this"
"n-yes" Rin struggled hoping not to get into any trouble for this,
"why"
"errrr, I-I no reason" Rin stuttered unable to come up with a logical explanation
Rin got up quickly to avoid anymore questions and started dancing, kicking up petals around Jaken
Sesshoumaru just shrugged it off to be nothing 'will the dark cup change her personality...I pray not I love her this way after a moment or twos thoughts Sesshoumaru finally fell back to sleep. Jaken was watching the stars when a shooting one flew by.
"oooo, make a wish" Rin demanded clasping her hands together.
'I wish to be Lord Sesshoumaru's mate and stay with him forever'
Rin smiled and sighed Jaken was watching her as eyes filled with love.
"what do you really want in life?" Jaken was curious to how Rin felt for Lord Sesshoumaru, he couldn't wait any longer. He had to know if his predictions were correct
"what do you mean...Jaken?" Rin asked as an uneasy feeling washed over her
"I mean do you want to go and find a young, mortal boy and marry him"
Rin gasped not expecting the question "NO, I don't, there's only one thing I desire" her voice trailed off as she realised what she was about to share with Jaken. Jaken just blankly stared at her as if to say carry on. His face was eager. Rin looked down at her feet concentrating hard.
"Jaken, can you keep a big secret?" Rin looked at him more seriously than she had ever before.
"well err"
"I mean it JAKEN" Rin looked at him dead in the eyes, he knew she meant it.
"I can only promise so much but for now you have my word"
Jaken waited for her to carry on until she broke out into a big speech.
"Ever since I was revived and started travelling with you and Lord Sesshoumaru I found you the closest thing to family I've ever had I loved you unconditionally for so long" Rin paused before continuing "remember after Naraku was defeated and I had to stay with Kaede for some time and you used to bring me presents, I would sit up every night and wish for the day you would come back for me and take me with you again and when my wish finally came true, I was more than over joyed, since then I've never seen Lord Sesshoumaru in the same way I did when I was a young girl, I have found him the most beautiful being I have ever laid eyes on. I find it hard to explain my feelings but I can't help but smile when I hear his voice or see him smile obviously seeing him smile is a rare luxury, I feel a warmth when he touches me and even a happiness when he protects me, I'm lonely and miss him when he's away and I get weak in the knees and my heart skips a beat when he's near...all these feelings that bear my heart mean I can't stand to be without him and so I couldn't possibly marry anyone else because I myself am in love and he will always be in my heart" Rin started to cry at this point as she realised how much pain this would cause her "but he could never love me, for a I am a stupid mortal girl" Rin sobbed silently next to Jaken who's eyes had widened with shock this was his prediction but he still didn't expect her to get so upset about the situation 'but if Lord Sesshoumaru is in search of the cup for Rin then she may not be the only one with these feelings, NO! Lord Sesshoumaru cannot have fallen for a weak human'
Sesshoumaru awoke sniffing the air, he could smell Rins tears "Rin? What's wrong?" Sesshoumaru asked in his normal monotone secretly he was worried
"oh I'm sorry to have woken you, it was just a nightmare, I'm okay" Rin replied softly
Sesshoumaru just turned away and nodded 'that was a lie, but why do I feel so betrayed'
The next morning they got up from there spot a little reluctant to move from the secluded but beautiful area, but Sesshoumaru was adament that they would reach their destination within this week and they were getting very close to it now and Sesshoumaru was becoming more and more eager to recieve the cup but first he had to find out what was bothering Rin. So he ordered Jaken to take his time in catching breakfast knowing it would take him a long time considering he still hadn't perfected his fishing skills since Rin taught him all those years ago. Once Sesshoumaru was sure Jaken was out of ear shot he began his interogation
"Rin, are you sure it was a nightmare that kept you awake, I can sense when you are afraid and I didn't sense any fear at all off of you, just sadness" Sesshoumaru stated in a harsh tone
"well that's because I lied, I'm sorry milord, please don't be angry, I didn't want to trouble you.. But Jaken and I were talking and it got a little emotional maybe my monthly cycle is due to come soon"Rin babbled grimacing as she felt his intense gaze on her, she knew her lord hated it when people lie, especially her. Gulping Rin looked him in the eyes to be faced with a cold glare, which made her sad she hated it when he was angry with her but at this moment she knew she partially deserved it.
Sesshoumaru hadn't wanted to glare at her the only person he hated disciplining was Rin but he was angered by the lie, he surely had taught Rin better than this to lie, that disgusting human thing to do
"you should know better than to lie to me Rin"
"I..." Rin started but Sesshoumaru interrupted
"can you not talk to me about sensitive issues if that is the case then it will be a problem since, I have taken you into my care all these years shown you compassion and sheltered you as best as I could so can you trust me?" Sesshoumaru snarled still with his impassive face on, he didn't know why this bothered him so much, he'd never bothered with petty human problems before 'maybe it's because I love her that it hurts so much, there's that word again LOVE such an annoying emotion that I Sesshoumaru thought I would never come across escpecially for a human, yet here I am in love with one' Sesshoumaru's thoughts were halted at the sound of Rin's voice she seemed angry
"yes of course I can trust you... Lord Sesshoumaru I may be well out of line here but you were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you up, Jaken was awake so we were talking quietly OKAY" Rin's soft sweet voice turned sour with anger as she carried on her speech feeling her face burn with more anger, she didn't quite know what came over her, she just silently prayed she wouldn't be killed for speaking in such a manner 'I know this is going to get me in trouble but I must it is better than having Lord Sesshoumaru believe I don't trust him especially when I can and with my life'
"yes well it still doesn't explain why you lied to me, you didn't have to, you should know that I do not tolerate liars Rin and I know you are better than that so I will ask you once again why?" Sesshoumaru coolly stated his eyes hardening, 'I don't think I've ever seen this side of her before, she's never disobeyed me once in the past perhaps it's best to stay silent for a moment'
"I DIDN'T WANT TO WORRY YOU DAMMIT!!" Rin yelled out in frustration arms flying up in the air before carrying on voice softer this time "and for the recond I trust you with my life"
Sesshoumaru just watched her with eyes not betraying any thoughts 'how strange why do I feel so guilty when she yelled at me, perhaps it's because she was concerned for me' Sesshoumaru thought as he stood and walked away from Rin briefly slowing down to allow her to be able to catch up with him. Knowing Jaken would somehow catch up when he returned from fishing and he did, they stopped once again an hour later to eat the fish Jaken had caught nobody daring to say a word, Jaken could tell Lord Sesshoumaru was in a bad mood and when he was the beatings were always more painful, soon after they had all finished their food, Sesshoumaru once again ordered the group to be ready to contunue on, Jaken scurried around checking things as Rin reigned AhUn, climbing on him giggling at them whining in pleasure as she stroked their two heads mane. Trotting off after Lord Sesshoumaru, through the night the journey was almost silent as the only sounds were of feet on the forest floor and a soft wolves howl in the night sky. Sesshoumaru was feeling alot more content now, the anger of his argument with Rin from earlier had disapated as he could hear her even breaths as she slept, this always calmed him and also the nights sky, which was always dotted with stars and a bright moon.
