A/N: I forgot to mention this in the previous Authors Note. But I changed Peter and Lydia because they did come out a little worse than I had wanted. And I don't want Lydia and Stiles out of sorts which is where that was heading. And Derek's woman kinda jumped out at me. She was a plot twist that even I had not anticipated. I was writing and she just came out of nowhere. But I think I know where she is going to go, but I may still decide to not really have her go anywhere. She may or may not be an regular character in this. I might have an evil plan with her in the works. Anyways thank you for the reviews and follows and favorites. Like wow. Crazy.

Sorry for the long wait. I've had family issues going on. And classes. And I've been trying to keep my grades up. This is just something I do for fun, and I haven't had a lot of free time.

No Light, No Light

By: Florence and the Machine

You are the hole in my head
You are the space in my bed
You are the silence in between
What I thought and what I said

You are the night-time fear
You are the morning when it's clear
When it's over your start

You're my head
You're my heart

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day

You can't choose what stays and what fades away
And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light
No light

Tell me what you want me to say
Through the crowd I was
Crying out and
In your place there were a thousand other faces

I was disappearing in plain sight
Heaven help me
I need to make it right
You want a revelation
You want to get right
But it's a conversation
I just can't have tonight

You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
You are the revelation

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day

You can't choose what stays and what fades away
And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light
No light

Tell me what you want me to say
But would you leave me,
If I told you what I've done

And would you leave me
If I told you what I've become
'Cause it's so easy,
To sing it to a crowd
But it's so hard, my love
To say it to you, all alone

No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent

A revelation in the light of day,
You can choose what stays and what fades away
And I'd do anything to make you stay

No light, no light
No light

Tell me what you want me to say

You want a revelation
You want to get right
But, it's a conversation
I just can't have tonight
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution.
You are the revelation.

You want a revelation
You want to get right.
But, it's a conversation,
I just can't have tonight.
You want a revelation
Some kind of resolution
Tell me what you want me to say

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Mine.

The rage that filled his wolf was startling, and he felt his already faulty control slipping.

Mine.

Stiles had never lost control of his wolf like this before. Not even on his first full moon as an Omega. Even though he had taken precautions in case he would. His current lapse in control could come from several different things.

His first full moon as an Alpha was fast approaching. His father had just died. Erica died because of an idiotic mistake that he made. Plus he got bit during said idiotic mistake. His anxiety of coming back to Beacon Hills and not knowing what to expect with that.

'His catalyst however was a combination of the two things that were practically just dumped in his lap. One: Derek was his mate. Something he had suspected with the way Derek had acted before he left nine years ago. But it was also something that frightened the hell out of him, so he tried not to think about it, because it was also followed by crippling guilt. Two: Derek was sleeping with some woman. A very beautiful woman who seemed nicer and acted like she had less commitment issues than Stiles himself had.

Whatever the reason, Stiles snapped. His vision covered by a red haze of rage. A snarl had his li curling. Baring elongated fangs. His level headed side whispered in the back of his mind. Warning him to calm down, warning he was outnumbered, that the Alpha before him was stronger, and that he should not attack his mate.

That last thought caused him to hesitate. And that seemed enough time for Derek to leap forward, his larger bulk easily shoving Stiles' smaller form down. It knocked the breathe out of him, but that didn't seem to slow his wolf down or Derek. While Derek struggled to pin Stiles down, Stiles struggled to roll them over and gain the upper hand. For a moment he did manage to roll them, satisfaction blooming in his chest for just a moment before Derek had them rolling back over again.

Pain flared through Stiles shoulder as Derek's fangs bit down into the flesh. His head fell back and he howled as Derek bit down harder. A clawed hand wrapped around his through, Stiles brought his good arm up to defend himself, but Derek had that pinned as well with a simple movement.

"Stop," Derek snarled down at him, Stiles snapped at him in reply, unwilling to submit. "Dammit Stiles submit. I don't want to hurt you," his tone was full of authority, but there was a gentle under tone, pleading. Stiles just had to wait out his shoulder healing, he was an Alpha, a wound even from Derek would heal without hindrance. But Derek seemed to already realized this himself and he growled, his hand tightening around Stiles wrist until a sickening wet crunch was followed by another howl of pain from Stiles. The pain was sobering and the red haze started to fade.

"Fuck," Stiles hissed. Panic started to well up inside of him, causing Derek to tighten his grip in response to the acceleration of Stiles heart, expecting another outburst. But Stiles only whimpered, letting his head fall back further, baring his throat.

"Derek," Scott's voice was wary, but closer than Stiles expected.

"Goddammit, get the fuck off of me," Stiles hissed, unable, to meet Derek's glare. Derek growled at him, releasing his throat and wrist, but refusing to move from straddling him.

"I want someone watching him at all time. He's obviously not stable enough to be left alone, at least not this close to the full moon," Derek said glaring at his Beta's, who all seemed to have moved much closer during the debacle.

Stiles silently glared up at Derek, his shoulder healed enough that he could cradle his wrist against his chest. He didn't move, even when Derek stood and walked back to the house (more like stomp haughtily).

"Stiles?" Scot asked tentatively.

"What?" Stiles voice was rough and cracked. His pride more wounded than his body, he sta up and kept his head down. It wasn't even that Derek had won, it was expected. He was glad he had been stopped, no one was hurt. He was more wounded by the fact that he had lost control of himself so easily. That he was so stressed out that he lost control with such little provocation.

"Should I look at your wrist?" Scott moved tentatively closer to Stiles.

It still hurt…a lot. But he could feel the unpleasant itchy feeling that said it was healing. And the tingling in his shoulder was starting to fade. Stiles studied his wrist for a moment, it looked like it would heal correctly. "No…no, it's already healing okay," he said shaking his head, getting carefully to his feet, feeling unsteady. Tired.

Tired enough that he didn't feel the need to fidget, or fill the awkward silence. He could curl up somewhere and just sleep.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Stiles didn't know how or when, but at some point Isaac and Scott coaxed Stiles into one of the cars. And now he was lying in a puppy pile in Scotts living room.

Only Boyd, Isaac, Jackson, Lydia, Scott, Allison, and Danny went back to Scott and Allison's home. Boyd's wife, Amelia, heading back to their home to relieve their babysitter. Peter had stayed back at the Hale house, most likely to bug Derek, that and he was never welcome to puppy piles. He was too creepy and sassy.

Isaac was the first to speak up.

"Stiles?" Isaac waited for Stiles to make a noise in reply. "Why did you leave?"

Stiles chest constricted because there was more to Isaac's tone. He was asking more than that. Why did you abandon us? Why didn't you come back?

"I was scared. And then my pride kept me away. I didn't want to admit that I was wrong in leaving. That I didn't have to leave like I had thought. By the time I wanted to come home, I'd made a life, I was almost done with college. And the damage was done, I didn't think I could come back," Stiles said quietly, knowing that everyone would hear him just fine. Stiles didn't say all of the other reasons he had for not coming back. Even though they all hung in the air. After so much time passing he was scared of their rejection. Scott wanted him back but that was Scott. They'd been friends since they were in diapers. That is a bond that doesn't break, no matter what. But, he was scared of the others hating him.

Scott and Derek were still the only two that knew exactly why he left. He hadn't wanted to stay in the town that housed the man who had made his life hell. Hadn't wanted to be in the same state.

Stiles sighed, fidgeting slightly as he debated telling them all. He might as well, though his very being rebelled against revealing something so personal. Stiles relaxed slightly when he felt Isaac's arms tighten around one of his legs.

"I wanted to stay with you guys. My leaving had nothing to do with you. I couldn't stay here in this town anymore. My…my Dad blamed me for my mother's death. And he let me know that…" Stiles cleared his throat before swallowing painfully, "Ever day he let me know that I should have died in that car wreck. He would lock me in one of the downstairs closets during his drinking binges at first. But as I got older he stopped that in favor of just beating the shit out of me." His whole body was tensed up, ready to run. No one was speaking, he could smell their horror and disgust, here it in their heartbeats. "But even when he was drunk he was smart enough to know not to hit where someone would be able to see it. Sometimes when he was sober he would be like my old dad. Tell me he was proud of me, or buy me something that he knew I wanted. But it always made him being drunk worse, harder to take in."

Stiles stopped there, unable to say anymore, closing his eyes to try and fend off the panic attack he felt trying claw its way out of his lungs. The tension in the room wasn't helping. He felt Isaac's claws pricking his leg slightly, not breaking the skin, and he could feel the other man trembling slightly. Isaac had gone through much the same thing, he had always been too scared to bring it up to the wolf though when they were teenagers.

Stiles felt his hand searching through the limbs around him until he felt Isaac's soft curly hair. He ran his fingers through them until the others heart calmed down, but he kept his fingers buried in the strands even after. He didn't say a word, not wanting to make Isaac uncomfortable by pointing out they had gone through very similar things.

Stiles frowned as he felt everyone start moving at the same time, everyone trying to get as close to Stiles as possible, wanting to be touching him as much as they could. He didn't complain, even though he felt like he was suffocating.

"You're a dumbass Stiles," Jackson huffed, his voice was followed by a light swatting noise and an annoyed huff from Danny.

"Stiles, we never hated you for leaving. We just wanted you happy, even if that wasn't with us. Don't get me wrong, we missed you, we wanted you back with the pack. But if you couldn't be here, you couldn't be here," Danny said, his tone softer, making up for Jackson.

"You did send cards, a lot of them too," Allison pointed out. "And you called Scott at least once a month, to make sure everything was okay. You still did research too." Allison was being nice, Stiles knew, trying to make him feel better. Because yeah most of what she said was true, but if someone got on the phone while he was talking to Scott, Stiles would immediately hang up.

"You were always pack, even if you were three thousand miles away," Boyd said. "Even if your absence turned Derek into a total monster."

The room fell silent again. Because the mention of Derek had Stiles tensing again, and he felt guilty for the way he acted all over again.

"So…who was that woman?" Stiles asked because it had been eating at him, along with the silence.

Everyone groaned. "Her names Emily," Lydia supplied, her tone slightly annoyed. "I told Derek she should be gone before you got here. Obviously he ignored me. I think he was just being spiteful to you, but he just cut his nose off to spite his face."

Stiles laughed with the others at the expression she used. Because, who said that?

"She seems nice enough, Derek said that he knew her from before. But, she hasn't really taken time to get to know anyone else in the pack. She's a witch though…she sets my wolf on edge," Isaac murmured, his voice muffled, and Stiles suspected that someone was partially laying on top of him because he could still feel his arms around his leg. And his fingers were still curled in the hair, and someone was laying on his hand.

"She's fake. Too sweet for my taste," Lydia sneered, her tone giving off her distaste. "Don't worry about that now Stiles. You've got weeks to do that. Tonight you need to relax, you've had a lot going on."

Stiles knew Lydia's words were meant to make him feel better, but they didn't. Not at all. Though he did feel better about the pack about being back. They didn't hate him.

The rest of the night went by pretty damn well.