Disclaimer: I do not own The O.C. or any of its characters. I only own Sam and any other OCs. Anything else that you may recognize belongs to FOX, Warner Brothers, & Josh Schwartz.


Sam's POV

We spent the night in lockup after we were arrested. Though that wasn't much of a surprise. When Sandy got to the precinct that night, the police questioned Ryan and I separately. Then before being taken to jail, we were looked at by a doctor. We both will be fine. Ryan had a few cuts and bruises. I had a burn on the back of my hand along with a few cuts and bruises. They treated and bandaged it for me before sending me to my cell.

The night was rough, but I expected it being in jail and all.

The next morning, Ryan and I were brought to visiting room, like when we were first meeting our attorney. Sandy sat down in front of us.

"We have to stop meeting like this." He says when we first sit down together.

"No promises." I replied.

"Good news, Kirsten's company agreed to drop all charges. Which means, pending your probation hearings, you guys will be out no problem." Sandy tells us. I grinned a bit, I guess that was some good news.

"When's that?" Ryan asks.

"30-60 days." Sandy tells us and I frowned; okay maybe it wasn't all that good news. "I could get the both of you out sooner, if I could release you both to a parent or guardian."

That wasn't going to happen, so we're screwed until then.

I looked to my right and saw Luke getting let out. I watched as his mother embraced him into a hug. Then I also saw Ricky, leave with both his parents. After we told them what happened, I guess they also brought him in for questioning. So he also attempts to kill me and he gets to leave? Am I the only who thinks that is a little unfair?

"They get to leave." Ryan points out.

"Ricky and Luke? According to the two of you, Luke, and Ricky—when they found him—the fire was an accident. They have no priors and clean records." Sandy said and I rolled my eyes. If it hadn't been for Ricky, we wouldn't be in this mess.

"Ricky is on probation for the attempted assault, however." He added.

"And they get to leave because they have someone to take them home." I said; and that was only one of the differences between us.

"Ryan, Sam, if I could—" Sandy couldn't even finish that. I knew that he would take us with him if he could. But Kirsten didn't like us. She didn't want us in her house; especially after burning down her model home. "—it's going to be okay."

I almost wanted to laugh at his attempt to reassure us.

"Our mom ditched us and we burned your wife's house down." I stated, arching my eyebrow at him; this was far from okay.

"How is this going to be okay?" Ryan asks.

"We'll find your mother." Sandy tell us. That didn't make me feel any better.

"What if we don't—"

"We'll do whatever it takes."

"What if we don't want you to find her?" I say. I don't think finding our mother is the solution to the problem. Our family is the whole reason we're in this damn mess. Our mother is a mess and finding her wasn't going to make our problems go away; we'd just be going back to where we started.

"If only you guys came to me…instead of running away." Sandy shook his head.

I scoffed. What did he think he could do that would help? Putting us in foster care or reuniting us with our mother isn't helping us.

"Why? So, Sam and I could end up in foster care?" Ryan questioned.

"You and Sam could have died in that fire." Sandy says and I sighed at hearing that. At this point, would that have been a bad thing? Considering the circumstances, I don't know what would have been worse.

"Look you've done more than enough." Ryan says. "We can take care of ourselves."

"It won't be that different from how it's been." I added.

It's not like our mother really took care of us. She spent all day getting drunk and she kept dating these losers. Some of which were more interested in me more than her. She hasn't take care of us in a long time. Ryan and I take care of each other and that's probably not going to change anytime soon.

"We'll talk again before your hearing." Sandy says, realizing there was nothing more to say.

I nodded; that is if we live that long.

We were taken back to our cells. Ryan and I looked at each other being separated into the different sides of the prison. On the way in, I bumped into another inmate.

"Sorry." I said.

"You will be." She said—more like threatened.

I probably wouldn't make it to probation hearing in two months.


Seth's POV

Ryan and Sam are in jail, I'm grounded, and my mom's paying for Mr. Cooper's mistakes—literally. So my life is going great right now.

I went into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee and saw that my mother was planning for her lunch date with the wonderful newpsies. It also seemed my dad had just gotten back from seeing Ryan and Sam at the prison.

"What are you doing?" My dad asks me.

"Nothing. I'm grounded." I replied. Though, it obviously looked like I was getting a cup of coffee, or was it not obvious by the fact I was holding a mug that I am now pouring coffee in.

"You're lucky you're only grounded." My mom adds and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"Did you see them?" I turned to my dad. I wanted to know how Ryan and Sam are doing and I'm sure that Kaitlin would love an update. I just stolen my phone back and well I had dozens of texts from her. I guess I should be excited a girl is texting me.

"Can I see them?" I ask.

"No." My dad shakes his head.

"Why? Because I'm grounded?" I questioned, though that was probably obvious. Though being grounded would definitely be worth if I could at least see how they are doing in there.

Both my parents nodded.

"How are they doing?" My mom then asks. It isn't like she cares about them, so I don't know why she is even asking.

"There's a reason I like to keep kids out of that place." My dad says, so I gathered that meant they weren't doing too well.

"And you just can't get them out…or are you not a good enough lawyer?" I asked.

It didn't seem fair. I heard that Luke and Ricky were let out this morning. Those jackasses get out of jail and get to come home. I had heard from Kaitlin that Ricky tried to kill Sam and yet, he gets out of jail, but Sam and Ryan have to sit there with a bunch of criminals; it didn't seem fair at all.

"My hands are tied unless I can find their mother." Dad states.

"Why can't they stay here?"

"I will not have this conversation again." My mom says as she then turns to Rosie, giving her instructions about the scones she was making. My mother seemed to be more concerned about her scones than two human beings.

"Yeah, well, if anything happens to Ryan and Sam, then it's all on you. I just hope you can live with that." I told her. I guess she can since she's fine with them sitting in prison, possibly being stabbed to death.

"What I can't live with is if something happens to you because of them." My mom replies and I rolled my eyes.

"Like what? I meet some people that actually don't suck?" I countered.

"I am not their mother." My mom says as I started to leave the kitchen. I turned back to her.

"Good thing." I said before I headed upstairs, hearing my father shouting at me. I didn't care. This whole thing sucks. And according to Ryan and Sam, it's not like they really had a mother anyways. I mean, their mother kicked them out of the house, right? What kind of mother is that?

I slammed the door of my bedroom and then took out my phone and called Kaitlin.

"Seth?" Kaitlin answered.

"Hey Kaitlin, it's just me here with an update on our two favorite convicts." I greeted.

"How are they?"

"They're alive." I said.

"That doesn't exactly make me feel better." Kaitlin replied.

"Me either. Well, they won't let me see them, so I can't really tell you much. We'll just have to assume they are alive and as good as they can be." I said, scratching my head.

"Is there something else?"

"Yes, actually, I think the legal system is stupid that they are keeping Sam and Ryan in the slammer, but they let out thugs like Ricky." I ranted. I had needed to just say that out loud. It felt good to get it off my chest.

"Ricky's not a thug." Kaitlin said.

"Right, sorry, you're right." I told her, sarcastically while nodding. "He's a psychotic, sex animal whom should be sitting in jail right now."

"He didn't hurt anyone." Kaitlin tried to defend. Why the hell is she defending this guy?

"You're the one who walked into the model home and saw him holding a knife to Sam's throat. And if it hadn't been for him, there wouldn't have been a fire." I went over the events of last night. "I think some people did get hurt."

"Is he at your house right now? Do I need to call the police?" I asked, wondering if this is why Kaitlin was saying those things.

"No, Seth, it's just...I mean, it's my fault. I pissed Ricky off, so it's my fault this happened. No one else's but mine." Kaitlin said, putting the blame on herself.

"Kaitlin, you didn't hold the knife to Sam's throat or set the model home on fire by beating up the Atwoods. Ricky did that." I told her. There was no way she should think that everything that happened was her fault.

"I might as well have." Kaitlin said, before she hung up the phone.

I threw my cell phone on the floor and stared up at the ceiling for a moment before turning on my side and looking at Captain Oats; there had to be something I could do.


Sam's POV

I had just gotten back again from the infirmary. My roommate is insane and it's the second time I've had to go see the prison doctor because of her. Why they stuck me with the cut-happy prisoner is beyond me, but I don't know how long I can take living next to this bitch. I swear, one of these nights, she will get cut-happy and cut my wrists while she is sleeping.

It was lunch-time, so I got a tray and grabbed my lunch. I was going to sit alone and eat. But then suddenly I'm pushed on the floor, my tray of food going across the room. I looked up to see the girl I had bumped into earlier. She was on top of me, holding a fork to my neck.

"Now you're sorry." She said.

"Get off me." I told her.

I couldn't move. I wasn't really trying all that much. I was surprised how strong this girl was, but then again, I also surprise people with my strength. I wanted her off me but I wouldn't fight back; I didn't want to start a fight.

"Are you disrespecting me?" She asks pressing her arm down on my neck. I couldn't breathe. "You better watch out, honey." She let go of me after digging the fork deeper into my neck and then spitting in my face. I turned over on my side as another girl kicked me a few times in the stomach. I coughed, trying to breathe.

I'm in hell, but I've been to worse in my own home. I could survive this. But even if I don't, maybe it'll be better once I'm dead.

Later that day, I was out in the yard. I went up to the fence. Ryan was on the other side and we talked for the hour. But it was cut short when my roommate started a fight with me. I kicked her in the knee when she tried cut me again. Then she came at me again and when I saw the guard had come, I let her take a few punches. Soon, she was pulled off me and a guard took me back to my cell while my roommate was taken to solitary.

Finally. I was alone.

Later, that day I was moping the floors when a male guard walked by and then he touched me.

"Get off me." I said, pushing him away, but he hit me with his stick. He then pulled me close by my hair.

"Don't talk back to me. You're my bitch." He whispered as I then felt his hand on my ass. I shut my eyes and I tried to be anywhere but here. "I'll be back for you later tonight."

Now I wish I were dead.


Seth's POV

I had figured out what I was going to do. I don't care that I'm grounded. I don't care what happens to me afterwards. But I am going to visit Sam and Ryan.

Not too long after two is when my mom's friends arrived. They talked for a while and I tried not to vomit while listening to them. I then went upstairs to grab my skateboard and while they were talking, I tried sneaking out. What I didn't account for was my mom being outside and not with her friends.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asks.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked. She was sitting out here with a drink while the other women were inside chatting. Well, I guess they'd make me want to drink, so I could sort of see why she was out here.

"I needed a newpsie break." She tells me. "Now where are you going?"

"I'm going to see Ryan and Sam."

"No, you're not. No way." She shook her head.

"Okay bye." I said, turning around to leave. I'd like to see her try and physically stop me from seeing them. I don't care what I have to do, but I am going to see them.

"Seth wait." My mom says and I turned around, crossing my arms. "I know I am not the perfect mom, but I love you and I am trying to protect you. I dropped all charges against them and I even hired someone to find their mother."

Yeah that's just great. She dropped the charges against the two people who didn't do anything wrong and she hired someone to find their wonderful mother who kicked them out. I'm sure that's what they want too.

"Seth, what more do you want?" She asks.

"I would like you to come with me to see them." I told her.

Then before she could respond that's when Julie Cooper came out, going on about something. I didn't care what the hell she was talking about. Not like I would want to know anyways. My mother told her whatever they were talking about was great before turning to me when she left.

"Give me fifteen minutes to lose the ladies." My mom says and I nodded.

"I'll meet you in the car." I said. I had to go see Kaitlin and Marissa first.

I went over to the Cooper house and their father answered the door. It was weird looking at him, knowing that my mother was paying off his debts. It was weird. I mean, she wouldn't help Ryan and Sam, but helps him. Oh well, they did almost get married.

He led me upstairs to Marissa's room after seeing Kaitlin's room was empty.

"Marissa, Kaitlin, you guys have company." He knocked and then he opened the door. Then I saw Summer topless. Oh thank you, god!

"Oh my god." I said, my mouth dropping open and my eyes opening wide at the beautiful sight. This is officially the best day of my life.

"Sorry." Jimmy apologizes before walking away.

"Hi…Summer…I-I'm Seth Cohen. I-I live…live next door." I stammered as Marissa and Kaitlin then came out, closing the door so I couldn't view Summer any longer. That's probably a good idea before I started drooling.

"What's up?" Kaitlin asks.

"I'm going to see Ryan and Sam." I told them.

"Really?" Kaitlin seems interested.

"I was thinking maybe you guys would like to come with me." I added.

"What's that Seth? You need a ride to a Star Wars convention?" Marissa says really loudly for Summer to hear, probably as some cover as to what we were discussing. Seriously? That's the best she could come up with?

"Star Wars convention?" I glared at her. "Her top was off. You couldn't have at least said X-Men for me?"

Both Marissa and Kaitlin rolled their eyes.

"Look, I can't go see them." Marissa said.

"Me either." Kaitlin added.

"Why not?" I ask.

"Look, this has caused a lot of problems between Luke and I. I haven't heard from him since he got out of jail and I don't want him to think—it's too complicated." Marissa couldn't even figure out how to explain her excuses for not wanting to see Ryan.

"What about you? Please don't tell me it's because of Ricky." I turned to Kaitlin.

"No, it's just, I mean—I care about Sam. I really do, but it's going to be hard since I'm probably never going to see her again. We both agreed—before all that happened—that it'd be easier if we didn't see each other anymore." Kaitlin explained.

"But that was before everything." I pointed out.

"I just can't, okay?" Kaitlin said.

"Plus our mom would kill us if she found out." Marissa added.

"Whatever." I shook my head, going to sit and my mom's car and wait for her. It looked like I was the only one that cared about seeing Ryan and Sam.

They need someone that cares, I guess.


Sam's POV

At some point a guard came to get me from my cell. I was relieved it wasn't the guard that probably wanted to rape me. This guard told me I had a visitor and she brought me down there. I found that apparently the visitor was for Ryan too.

It was Seth and Kirsten.

I guess she was probably only here to make sure Seth was okay.

I looked at Ryan. He had a fork mark on his neck like I did; mine was a bit deeper though. It seemed I wasn't the only getting some trouble here. Though, I doubt the guards are telling him they are going to rape him. It sucks. I know the guards probably do it to a lot of others and they can do it as much as they want.

"What happened to your neck?" Seth asks, looking between Ryan and me.

"Nothing." We both replied in unison.

"You guys okay?" Seth asks and I almost thought it was a rhetorical question.

"Great." Ryan replies, sarcastically.

"Wonderful." I replied in the same tone. "We're so popular here."

I looked up at Kirsten and she seemed very uncomfortable with being here. I don't blame her. We don't exactly feel at home here.

"I'm sorry my plan didn't work." Seth says.

"It's not your fault." I told him.

"Kaitlin's saying it's her fault."

"That's nuts. Tell her it's not." I said. It certainly wasn't Kaitlin's fault. If it wasn't for her, I could have been killed and maybe not just me. Who knows what Ricky would have done if it hadn't been for her. She shouldn't blame herself.

"It's my fault. I thought you guys were safe." Seth was beating himself up now.

"Don't beat yourself up, Seth." Ryan told him.

"You tried; no one's ever tried that hard to keep us around, at least." I said with a slight grin. At least Seth cared about us; it was more than we could say for our mother.

"What's the matter, huh?" I turned to see this male prison from across the room, looking at Kirsten. "C'mon, give me a smile."

I almost wanted to say something, but Ryan grabbed my arm. I nodded at him; it's best to keep my mouth shut.

"How's Marissa?" Ryan asks.

"Trying to patch up her relationship with Luke apparently." Seth rolled his eyes.

"She should. She should try and forget all about us." Ryan said and I nodded. I think Kaitlin should probably do the same as we'll probably end up dead soon enough.

"You got a nice swerve on you, lady." That same guy said and I turned around. I couldn't stand those sexual remarks; that's harassment. I couldn't just keep my mouth shut at that, especially since it was directed at Kirsten. "You fine."

"Leave her alone." I said.

"Sam, it's okay." Kirsten tried to push it aside, but she was getting scared.

"It's not." I replied. It really wasn't. Stuff like that, especially when directed towards other people, it just doesn't sit right with me.

"You jokin'?" The guy questions.

"Stop it." Ryan said.

"This your lil' honey?" He looks at Ryan and then gets up and starts walking towards Kirsten, whom then gets Seth up and asks for a guard, clearly becoming afraid of what might happen to her or Seth.

"Seth, we're going." She said.

"Come here, bitch, I want a good look at you." He said, coming closer.

"Leave her alone!" I yelled, watching closely. I couldn't let him get to close. I don't care what happens to me, but I wasn't going to let them get hurt because they came to see us; I knew Ryan would feel the same way.

"Guard!" She yelled.

"I just need two minutes." He said, getting really close to Kirsten. That was the last straw.

"Leave her alone!" Ryan yelled.

"What are you going to do about it?" He looked at Ryan and started to go to Kirsten and that's when I got out of my seat. Before Ryan could act, I did.

"Get away from them!" I screamed as I tackled him and then he got on top of me and started to hit me. Ryan then tried to pull the guy off me, but punches him too.

"GUARDS!" I heard Kirsten yell and eventually the guy was pulled off me. The guards were cuffing the three of us. There was blood running down my mouth and I knew I was going to have some bruises on my face, later.

"I'm going to kill you, punk ass! And I'm going to kill you, slut bitch!" The guy screamed and I was sure he would deliver. I was almost praying for it.

Can it all just end?

"You're going to be dead! Both of you! You hear me!" He screamed as the guard pulled me away. I looked to Kirsten and Seth. I don't care what happens to me as long as they were okay; I'm just glad they are okay.

"I couldn't let him hurt them." I mumbled as the guards then took Ryan and I back into the prison, away from Seth and Kirsten.

I passed out shortly after that.


When I woke up, I was told that I, along with Ryan, was being released into the custody of a guardian. I was more surprised to find out it was Kirsten whom had requested Ryan and I be released and into their custody. I almost thought I was dreaming. Ryan and I didn't say a word as we were taken back to their house.

Seth took us into the living room.

I put my hair into a ponytail and then sat down next to Ryan on floor. He wrapped an arm around me. I felt tired. But now I felt like I could breathe. Seth then sat beside us as he turned on the TV. We just flipped through the channels for a while, but then Seth turned on the PlayStation where we played some Call Of Duty.

Ryan and Seth just played at first. Eventually I felt better and we all started to play. Then soon after was when I heard Sandy's voice; I guess he was home from work.

"Seth…what did we say?" I heard Sandy say; I guess that was part of his grounding. "No video games."

He came in and seemed shocked to see Ryan and I were here. We were just as shocked as we were to be here. We thought we were going to die in prison.

"Oh." That was all he said, before leaving to go into the kitchen.

"I'm going to get some water." Ryan says, probably wanting to listen to what they were saying. I did too.

"Me too." I said and followed him. We stood outside the kitchen to listen in.

"I didn't know what else to do." Kirsten said, clearly talking about us.

"Did you tell them it was permanent?" Sandy asks.

"No, of course not." She replies.

She still didn't like us or want us here. But she just didn't want to leave us there and prison to die. Well, I guess she pities us; this makes me feel really great.

"We can't keep jerking these kids around. Pulling them out of juvie, sending them to foster care, giving them hope, and taking it away." I heard Sandy say.

I don't have hope; I haven't had any in a very long time.

"They were going to kill them in that place, Sandy. I couldn't leave them in there. They can't stay there, but they also can't stay here." Kirsten says. "You need to find their mother."

Hell no. I would rather be left in jail to die.

"They don't want me to find her." Sandy tells her.

"They are kids. They don't know what they want." Kirsten says and I almost want to laugh. It's easy for her to say that; she didn't have to live with our mother.

"We won't unpack then." Ryan says, somewhat jokingly, as we walked in behind them. We didn't expect this to be permanent. We then start to head out to the pool house, but I stopped.

"You don't know our mother." I said, referring to what she said. I did know what I want; and that was not ever see her again. "She isn't a mom."

I went out to the pool house with Ryan and laid down the bed. I felt tired. I was in pain. I just wanted it all to stop. But I would settle for just a decent night of sleep.


I woke up around three in the morning from a night terror. This was the reason I couldn't sleep while I was in jail. If I woke up my cellmate with my screams—she probably would have cut me to death. I just was hoping that maybe I would be too tired to have them; I guess not.

"I'm fine. Go back to sleep." I told Ryan.

"You sure? I could get you some water." Ryan offered.

"I'm not a child." I snapped.

"Okay, don't bite my head off." Ryan turned onto his side and tried to go back to sleep.

"Sorry, I'm just so damn tired." I apologized. Sometimes my issues really made my life difficult. I have the chance to sleep and I can't even do that. I felt so tired, but I can't even sleep.

"Did you sleep while in lockup?" Ryan asks.

"No." I answered. The first night, it was mostly because I was in so much pain, I couldn't really sleep. After that, it was just out of fear of getting killed by my cellmate.

"Did you?" I ask.

"I got some."

"I guess you didn't have a cut-happy cellmate." I replied and he seemed confused. "My cellmate liked two things: knifes and cutting people. If I had to share with her, I wasn't going to be sleeping."

"Well, I promise not to cut you in your sleep." Ryan replies and I laugh.

"I hope not." I said as I laid down.

I didn't sleep much more during the night. I fell in and out for about in an hour, before I just laid there in bed awake. I couldn't sleep. But then again, I haven't had a good night's sleep in a very long time.


In the morning, when Ryan eventually woke up, we went into the kitchen. Seth told us to help ourselves to various different cereals they had in the house. I then went and poured a cup of coffee for myself and Ryan. We sat at the counter, in silence, but only for a moment.

"So Sam, what happened between you and Kaitlin?" Seth asks.

"Well, we agreed that it'd be easier if we didn't see each other anymore. I mean, we both would like to be friends, but it's kind of hard and complicated. We agreed that leaving would be hard, the more we saw each other, so it's probably for the best we don't see each other." I tried to explain. At least, it made sense at the time when I thought Ryan and I would be going to Texas.

Now, it almost seems pointless.

"Kaitlin wanted to see you." Seth tells me.

"I know. But I guess she figures it for the best if she doesn't." I nodded after taking a sip of my coffee. "I mean, it's fine. I don't think she would have liked to see how you saw me; in jail."

"Now Ryan, what about you and Marissa?" Seth turns to him.

"What about me and Marissa?"

"Nothing happened. We never saw each other after we heard her dad talking to her mom." Ryan tells him.

"Well she didn't want to see you because she was worried about her relationship status with Luke." Seth says.

"Well she did ditch Luke at the diner and come back here with us, so I guess he was kind of pissed about that." I chimed in. I mean, Luke probably did come to model home to teach Ryan a lesson, but I guess Ricky ruined it with the whole almost attempted murder thing.

"Did you hear Ricky got out on probation?" Seth then brought up and I glared at him. That's the last thing I want to talk about. "Right, okay, we won't talk about that. So anyways….how was your night?"

"Wonderful." I replied, sarcastically.

"Okay well, anyways, since you guys aren't on the run to Texas and you are here you guys should maybe patch things up with the girls." Seth then suggested.

I'll probably have more luck than Ryan will. More so, because it'd be easier to be friends with Kaitlin than it will be for Ryan and Marissa, since they obviously seem to want to be more than just that. But the question is, how are we going to get to see them? I doubt we can just go next door. I'm doubt their mother would allow us through the door.

After I finished eating, I changed into a red and blue flannel long sleeve and my dark blue ripped jeans. While, Ryan took a shower, I played PlayStation with Seth. I watched at Sandy was about to leave for work when Kirsten stopped him.

"Where are you going?" She asks.

"I have an early court date." Sandy tells her. "I'm going to be in and out of the office."

"But I have to go set up for Casino night. What about Ryan and Sam?" Kirsten asks him. I guess she still doesn't trust us; maybe she was afraid we were going to rob her and make a run for it.

"I'm working on it." Sandy replies. I wasn't sure if they were talking about our probation hearing or find our mother; I hope they aren't looking for her.

"I meant, what am I supposed to do with them?" Kirsten asks.

"Take them with you." Sandy tells her. I thought that would have been the obvious thing to do. "Spend some time together."

"With all those women there?" She asks. I wasn't sure if she more worried about what they'd think about her bringing us there or if they'd say things to us.

"Sure. They'll love 'em." Sandy replies and before Kirsten could argue or say anything further, he was out the door.

I guess we were going to set up for this banquet or whatever. I didn't mind helping. But I certainly wouldn't expect Kirsten to want to spend time with us; she doesn't even like us.


Kirsten took the three of us to set up for the party tonight. When we arrived, we were almost instantly greeted by Julie Cooper, Marissa and Kaitlin's mother.

"Oh hi, Julie." Kirsten said, when she saw her coming towards us.

"Kirsten. Seth." She replied, ignoring Ryan and me. But I don't see why I am surprised.

"Julie, this is Ryan and Sam." Kirsten introduced.

"Julie Cooper." She shook our hands while smiling; it was fake. I could tell she wasn't happy to have us here. "I've heard so much about you two." I am sure she heard all about the two kids from Chino that burned down the model home.

"Nice to meet you." Ryan said, politely and I did the same.

"There they are." Julie brushes past us and then we turn around to see her rushing over to Luke and Ricky.

Oh great, they're here too?

"Thanks for coming." Julie says.

"Yeah, you know, anything we can do to help." Ricky said and Luke nodded in agreement. Ricky looked at me with this smirk on his face. I'm sure I'm the only that noticed it, but it happened. I had the urge to sucker punch him the face, but I had to resist the urge.

"Oh, I forgot they were coming." Kirsten said.

"It's fine." Ryan said.

That was easier for him to say. Luke didn't hold a knife to his throat and think it is okay, even now after everything. Luke had a conscious unlike Ricky, whom seemed to have none.

"Sam, if you want to…" Kirsten started to say, but I stopped her. I would be fine as long as I avoided him and he kept away from me.

I've put up with my mother's boyfriends for months and sometimes a year, so I was sure I could handle an afternoon with the jackass.

"It's fine." I said. "How can we help?"

"Well, we have our strong men for the heavy lifting. Ryan, you can help Luke and Ricky." Julie suggested and then looked around the room, trying to figure out a job for me. I would have offered to do the heavy lifting, but I don't want to be close to Ricky.

I guess it's a good thing they don't expect a girl to do the heavy lifting.

"Why don't you go help Kaitlin over there?" Julie suggested and I nodded; I was more than happy to do that.

I walked over to where Kaitlin was. I also noticed Marissa was helping her.

"I was told to come help." I said, clearing my throat; this felt sort of awkward.

"Oh, hey." Kaitlin said with a slight grin.

Marissa moved over and I started to help Kaitlin with the decorations. We just did it quietly for a while. Then I watched as Marissa tried to talk to Luke, but he refused to talk to her. Marissa went off after him, leaving Kaitlin and me alone.

"So, how is it going?" I asked, trying to strike up a conversation. The silence was getting really uncomfortable.

"It's complicated." Kaitlin replied. "How was jail?"

"Well I'm alive." I said in response to that.

"I see that." Kaitlin laughed.

"It doesn't matter. I'm out now and hopefully I won't go back in."

"I'll hold off on setting the place on fire." Kaitlin joked and we both laughed.

"You know, what happened wasn't your fault." I told her.

"If I hadn't—" Kaitlin started to reason why the whole fire and Ricky attempting to kill me was her fault, but I stopped her before she could really begin.

"If you hadn't come when you did, I'd probably be dead. Maybe Ryan and Luke too." I said, giving reasons to why it wasn't her fault; exactly the opposite.

"But I'm the one who pissed Ricky off." Kaitlin said.

"You cares?" I said and we both laughed. "You're better off without him, anyways."

Kaitlin frowned as we noticed him looking over in this direction. He didn't seem happy.

"Did he come see you when he got out?" I ask.

"He called me a few times."

"What did you do?" I ask.

"Told him to leave me the hell alone." Kaitlin tells me. "I don't know what else to do. I'm hoping soon enough he'll find another girl to screw and leave me alone."

"I hope so too." I agreed.

"So how long do you think you'll be sticking around here?" Kaitlin then asks.

"I'm not sure. Not too long, I assume." I replied. Kirsten said that Ryan and I can't stay at their home, so I assume it won't be for too much longer. I don't know what will happen or when it will happen, it will at some point.

"Well I was thinking about what you said…" Kaitlin started to say, but she didn't get to finish.

Kirsten then pulled me away from her to help her with setting up the tables that Ryan and Luke had brought in. I was happy to help her, but I just wish she could have waited a few more seconds to do so. I don't know what she was going to say.

Hopefully I'd get to find out later.

Kirsten got on the phone for a few minutes—probably for work—and then got off and continued to help. Seth came by briefly, wanting a break from actual physical labor, it seemed.

"So what do you do exactly?" I asked. I knew Kirsten had a job with her father—or something—but it was never clear what she actually does.

"Sam, don't ask." Seth said.

"I tried to explain it to Seth once. He fell asleep half way through." Kirsten tells me and I turned to Seth.

"Okay, but...uh yeah, that's pretty much true." Seth nodded.

"Try me." I told her. I wasn't Seth, so there was a chance I wouldn't fall asleep during the explanation. At that point, Seth couldn't get away fast enough.

"Well my dad is in real estate development. He owns the Newport Group." Kirsten starts off by telling me. "I'm in charge of residential development."

"So you deal with contractors, the architects, the planning, and zoning commission." I stated and she seemed surprised that I knew that.

"How did you know?"

"Ryan and I worked construction for a few summers. He used to want to be an architect." I told her. Ryan was still interested in that kind of stuff, so he talked about it. I picked up on a few things. It wasn't exactly my thing, however.

"What about you? Was there ever something you wanted to be?" She asked and I almost laughed at the first thing that popped into my head.

"A singer." I admitted.

"Really?"

"I was ten years old. But like I said, those are things we used to want to be." I said. It's not like any of that could happen for us.

"What do you guys want to be now?"

"Sixteen." I answered with a smile; though our lives weren't as simple as most teenagers. The answer, at least, seemed to amuse her.

After Ryan finished with the heavy lifting, he came over to help Kirsten and me. Then they started talking about her job and then she even brought up the fact he used to want to be an architect. It got Ryan's attention and it seemed that Kirsten enjoyed talking to him as well.

Maybe this was the start of her warming up to us.


Eventually we finished setting up and then Kirsten started to drive back to the house, picking up some dinner on the way. She talked to both Ryan and I about architecture and music during the drive and even when we were walking into the house.

It almost felt strange. It was like talking to a mother about the things we liked, but it wasn't because we remembered she wasn't our mom.

"You know there are some great historical homes in the area and we could always go on an architectural tour." Kirsten suggested to Ryan as we drove through the gate.

"Those things are awesome." Seth replied, sarcastically.

"That sounds great." Ryan replied. I'm sure he would enjoy that.

"And what kind of music do you like?" Kirsten then turns to me as we got out of the car.

"All kinds except rap." I replied; I personally didn't believe that to be music.

"You know, they play a lot of concerts around here and there's some theatres around that put on local productions of musicals. If you'd like, maybe we could go see one." Kirsten then suggested and I smiled.

The thought of it was exciting.

"Yeah, I'd like that." I said as we walked in.

We walked into the house, but then I frowned at going into the living room. Sitting on the couch was Sandy and my mom.

"Hey Ry." She said looking at him and then turning to me. "Hey Sammi."

He actually managed to find her, even after we told her not to. I looked to Ryan and then back to her; he was just as thrilled as I was. I had been happy for a few minutes today; that's gone now.

She had been invited to stay the dinner. She sat across from Ryan and me at the table. I ate my food, trying to ignore the fact she was here, but it was difficult. And it was taking everything I had to stay calm. I didn't want her here.

"So, Dawn, how long have you been working at the laundromat?" Sandy asks her, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Oh, just a couple of weeks." She replied.

"What happened to the restaurant?" Ryan asked.

"Um…they were making cutbacks." She said, trying to make it sound better than it actually was, but we knew the reality.

"You got fired." I stated.

"It was for the best, anyways. They had rats and cockroaches."

I was starting to lose my appetite. I actually was starting to feel sick to my stomach, but I wasn't sure if it was because of what she said or the fact that she was here. I put my fork down and just tried to breathe; I needed to calm down. I dug my fingers into the back of my hand.

"Have you seen, Trey?" Ryan asks.

"Um, I went to visit him in prison, but he didn't want to see me." She tells us. I'm not even surprised by that. I wouldn't want to see her either; I don't want to see her now.

"Where are you living these days?" Kirsten asks.

"With friends, I'm in between places right now." She says. I wondered what happened with the bastard, A.J.

"What about A.J.?" Ryan asks before I could.

"I broke up with him. No more." She said. It was similar to what she said when she broke up with Richard when I was fourteen; now he was one of the worst. "He laid his hands on me, Sam, and Ryan too many times."

Did she really have to bring that up? He would hit all of us. With me, he wouldn't just hit me. At some points, I thought A.J. was more interested in me than mom.

"Mom." Ryan said. He didn't want to hear it either.

"He was a bad influence." She replied.

I wanted to laugh. Yeah, the boyfriends are the bad influences and she isn't with all the drinking. I was close to hitting my breaking point with her. I looked up at feeling Ryan take my hand. I guess he noticed I was on the edge.

"Yeah, A.J. was the problem." I said, sounding slightly sarcastic. A.J. was a bastard, but that didn't mean she didn't do anything wrong; there was a lot she did wrong over the years.

"I haven't touched a drop since I broke up with him a week ago."

Wow, she made it a whole seven days. I know the sobriety won't last much longer.

I was having flashbacks of the times when she got really drunk. For the last seven years, she's been drunk, but there were times when it was worse than all the others. Sometimes, she would get physical with Ryan and me.

I shut my eyes. I was at my breaking point.

"The scum used to bring that stuff into the house and I won't even go on about his coke habit." She said and that's where we both had it. We weren't going to sit here and listen to this; we couldn't go through this all over again.

"I just can't." I said, getting up from the table first, with my voice breaking. Ryan was following right behind me.

"Where are you guys going?" Mom asks.

"I just can't." I said, with tears streaming down my face; I couldn't handle much more of this. I had to get out of here.

"It was bad enough living through it the first time." Ryan says as he walks behind me; I couldn't have said it better myself.

I went out to the pool house and started to cry. This was all too much. Ryan came in shortly after and wrapped an arm around me, trying to help. He was always there for me, unlike her whom was pretty much never a mother to me.

I wish Sandy hadn't found her.

I looked over at seeing mom standing in the doorway of the pool house.

"Get out." I said.

"Will you guys at least talk to me?" She begged; she didn't deserve the time of day from us.

"What are you doing here, mom?" Ryan asked.

"I'm here for you…both of you." She said, coming closer. We backed up, putting more distance between us. I didn't want her near me. I don't want her to touch me.

"You're only here because Mr. Cohen went and got you." I said. She wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him and I'm pissed that he went and found her.

"What do you want from us, mom?" Ryan asks.

"I love you…"

"Yeah, mothers that love their children kick them out and abandon them, leaving a note." I said, with much anger and sarcasm in my voice.

"You left a note." Ryan said, shaking his head. I guess he couldn't get passed that either.

"Baby…it was…A.J….and…the drinking." She stammered and I shook my head. That's right, blame it on everything else. This is what she always does. It was always the boyfriend's fault or the drinking problem—which she never tries to fix.

"It's going to be different now." She claims.

"That's what you said after dad got arrested." I said, sniffling. I didn't believe that for a second. It was never going to change.

"I promise, I'm going to be different. We have people…people with money that want to help us. We've never had that before." She says; suddenly she is interested because the people that actually care have money.

"Right, someone offers you a nice place to stay and you're suddenly all about the 'mom' thing." Ryan states, turning away.

"She's not a mom." I added. I haven't had a mom since I was eight years old and I certainly don't need one now.

"Look, when I married your dad, I didn't know what I was doing. I had your older brother when I was very young. Too young." She said, but I really didn't care to hear the story about her rough life. "But you two…my twins…you guys were always the smart ones. You guys were always strong. You were such good kids…and then when you both got arrested, I thought I had failed you."

So, she lost it. That isn't an excuse.

She started to walk away, but Ryan stopped her. I shook my head; he fell for it every single time. He felt guilty because she is our mother, but she doesn't deserve another chance.

"Wait." Ryan says.

"Will you kiddos ever forgive me?" She asks, looking between us.

"I think we need to take this slow." Ryan says, giving her another chance, but I was not going to do that. I couldn't do this anymore.

"Good. I can't lose you guys again." Mom gives Ryan a hug and leaves room, thinking I was ready to start the forgiving process like Ryan; but that's where she is wrong.

"Too late." I said before leaving the poolhouse.

"Sam!" Ryan called back, but I wasn't listening.

I was not going to listen to her. I was not going to give her another chance. I will not sit there and go through that shit all over again. I knew eventually history would repeat itself and I was not going to do it.

I went through the living room and grabbed Seth's cell phone when he wasn't looking. I then headed for the front door. I was stopped by Kirsten, whom wanted me to give my mother a chance.

"Sam, stop." She told me.

"No." I said.

"Sam—"

"I don't have to listen to you." I said. "You've made it very clear you're not my parents, but neither is she. Like hell, I'm going to sit here and pretend she is and give her another chance."

I went out the door and once I was out of the house, I called Kaitlin.

"Kaitlin, it's Sam. Look, I really need a friend right now." I told her.

"I'll be right out." Kaitlin said and she was outside in under a minute. We walked down the sidewalks together and I told her about how Sandy found my mother and now she was here, attempting to play mom for a little while. I didn't trust her and I didn't want to be a part of it.

"What did Ryan say?" Kaitlin asks.

"He is willing to take it slow." I told her.

"Well, maybe he believes her."

"He always gives her the benefit of the doubt each time. He thinks she somehow is going to change—or at least he is hoping she is. Every time, the same thing happens. I am not going to go through that again." I told her.

"So is your mom sticking around?"

"Kirsten invited her to stay the night, so at least for a little while." I told her.

"So Mr. Cohen went looking for her even though you and Ryan said you didn't want her found?" She asked, to clarify the previous events.

"I guess he thinks that if we were reunited, maybe things will work." I shrugged, not exactly sure what he thought when he went searching. But it was a waste of time.

We walked around the block, talking for a while. It was nice and after a while, I felt a lot better. It's definitely nice to have a friend like Kaitlin close by when I need her.

"So, do you want to come in and stay or anything?" Kaitlin asks, probably wondering if I would be okay going back in there.

"I don't think your mom would appreciate that." I laughed. "Seriously, no, I'll be okay."

Kaitlin turns around to go inside her house, when I stopped her.

"Kaitlin." I said and she turned around. "Thanks."


The next morning, I was woken up early. Mom wanted to take Ryan and me shopping and maybe grab some lunch afterwards. Ryan seemed excited about it, but I didn't care what she had planned. I was not going anywhere with her. Ryan tried to get me to go, but I refused until they ultimately left without me. I didn't really feel all that well anyways. It probably was the fact my mother was back into our lives, trying to repair a relationship that couldn't be repaired. I always felt sick when this kind of thing happens; it is probably nothing.

I tried to go back to sleep, but I didn't have much luck. I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before either. It might be the stress from having my mother trying to get me to forgive her.

She was making me feel like shit in multiple ways.

About an hour after they left, Kirsten came into the pool house and she seemed surprised to see me here. I guess she assumed I was going shopping.

"Oh sorry, I hope I didn't wake you." Kirsten apologized. I wasn't really asleep so it was fine.

"I wasn't sleeping."

"I thought you and Ryan were going shopping with your mom." Kirsten said. She assumed wrong because I wasn't going to go anywhere with my mother. But it's not like she would understand.

"Ryan went shopping with her. I am not going anywhere with her." I corrected.

Kirsten put the dirty laundry into basket to take into the house to wash; I guess that's why she came in here. She then set it down and sat down in the chair a few feet away from the bad.

"Sam, I think your mom is really trying to be different." Kirsten says and I rolled my eyes.

"Nothing will be different when it comes to her." I stated, more as a matter of fact. But that's what it was.

"She seems like she's changed."

"It won't last. Within a few hours, days, or maybe even a week, she'll be back to her old self. She will be drinking, she will have probably found a new boyfriend, and we'll be back to the same crappy life." I said, basically summing up the last seven years.

Our mom doesn't change for long. It's always the same story. She gets sober for a week, maybe two, and then eventually she falls off the wagon. She goes back to her old habits and history repeats itself.

"Ryan seems to think she's changed."

"It's guilt. She's our mom. He sees that sad look on her face and he feels like he has to give her another chance." I explained. "I just can't. I've lived through the same thing before many times. I do not want to watch the same thing happen again and just be disappointed. I can't. I certainly can't forgive her like she expects me to."

Too much has happened that I just can't forgive. Some things I could, but there are some things I just can't.

"I'm sure you guys have had problems, but I'm sure you could work through them." Kirsten says and I scoffed. She wouldn't understand. It's not like she even knew my mother or what I've gone through.

"I was fourteen years old and after almost a year of her dating this one guy, Richard, he started to come into my bedroom. Eventually I told her what he did to me. At first, she didn't believe me and then twenty minutes later she was crying and screaming at me about how it's my fault he doesn't love her anymore." I told her.

I don't even know why I told her that. I only ever told Ryan those things. Maybe it's because I felt so awful, I didn't even realize I was admitting it until afterwards. I don't know, but she knew.

"There are some things that can't be forgiven." I then stated after a moment of silence. I gathered Kirsten didn't know what to say. I didn't blame her. There are some things I couldn't get over. I couldn't forgive her like my mom expects me to. I don't know if I will, but if I do, it's certainly not today.

"Sam, I'm sorry." Kirsten eventually says and I feel her hand on my shoulder. Was that an attempt to comfort me? That's more than my mom ever did.

"Can you just go? I just want to be alone." I said and soon after she did.

Once I was alone, I cried for a minute and then stopped myself. I didn't want to think about it. It was too much and I felt too sick to think about it for much longer. I shut my eyes, desperate for some sleep. I just needed a moment of peace; sleep is the only time I don't feel like I'm in hell.


I slept for a few hours. I didn't feel any better; I actually felt worse. My stomach was bothering me quite a bit so I went into the kitchen and drank some ginger ale and then I decided to sit out and dip my feet in the pool.

Then Seth came out.

"Sam near water? Are you sick?" Seth gasped. I actually do feel sick, but it's not like I was getting in the pool.

"Is my mom back yet?" I answered with question.

"No."

"Then no."

"Where did your mom go anyways?" Seth asks.

"She took Ryan shopping." I told him.

"You didn't go with?"

"She's lucky if I get within ten feet of her." I replied. I barely wanted to think about that woman, let alone be near her or do anything with her. I wasn't going shopping if I didn't have to.

I looked at Seth and I could tell something was on his mind.

"What's up?"

"You obviously don't trust her, but Ryan does. I don't get it." Seth admits. "I mean she abandons the both of you and all she has to do it come back?"

"Ryan feels like he has to give her a chance because she's our mother." I explained.

"And you?"

"I know she isn't going to change. Your mom and Ryan may hope that she actually is trying and going to change, but I'm not going to set myself up for disappointment. My mother is never going to change and there are things I haven't forgiven her for." I finished.

My relationship with my mother is definitely complicated.

"Maybe I could convince my mom to invite your mom to stay so we can all keep an eye on her." Seth offers and I laughed.

"I doubt she'll go for that." I chuckled. "She barely wants Ryan and me here."

"It didn't seem that way in the car yesterday." Seth says before getting up as Kirsten comes out. I guess we did sort of have a moment or two, but it doesn't matter. We'll be forced to go back to our mother soon enough. And it's not like thirty seconds of talking can completely change her mind about how she feels about us. I doubt she's forgotten about the model home and all the other stuff.

A few minutes later, my mom and Ryan returned. They came around back holding some shopping bags. Ryan looked kind of happy.

"What a beautiful walk." Mom says. "The water was so warm."

It sounded like they did—or at least tried to—a little more than just shopping.

"Sam wouldn't know." Seth commented and then I shoved him. He's just lucky I didn't push him into the pool.

"Ryan wouldn't either. Though I remember the two of them used to love getting in the water." She mentioned and I shook my head. I haven't liked getting in pools or anything like that since I was like five years old.

"Not with all my clothes on mom." Ryan said, walking away and over to me.

Did she suggest Ryan go swimming with his clothes on or something? Oh well, I'm not sure that I really wanted to know.

"How was shopping?" Kirsten chimes in.

"It was great. It would have been if Sam had been there though." Mom says and I rolled my eyes. She wasn't going to make me feel guilty; that only works on Ryan.

"You know Dawn, I was thinking, maybe you would like to stay here for a little while." Kirsten offered and I was surprised. Did Seth actually convince her?

"You know, we're also having a party tonight." Seth adds.

"Oh, well not for me." She says, but I arched an eyebrow. I remember sometimes she would complain how she didn't have friends that would invite her to parties. "I don't have anything to wear and neither does Sam."

"We'll find something." Kirsten offers. "For both of you."

"I don't think I'll be going." I said. I didn't really feel all that well nor did I want to go to a party with my mother.

"Sam, you have to go." Seth urged.

Ryan then nudged me and gave me a look. I guess he really wanted me to try to give our mom a chance. He may know what's happened to me, but it doesn't mean he understands everything that goes through my head. I guess I could at least give him the satisfaction of going to the damn party.

I could always just talk to Kaitlin or something.

"Fine." I agreed.

"I'll lay something out for you." Kirsten said.


I went to take a shower. In the time I was in the bathroom, I puked twice. I must have ate something bad yesterday or something. It must have been some bad takeout. I guess even expensive food could be bad.

I got out of the shower and a dress was waiting for me on the bed. It was Floral Rhapsody Red Striped Print Silk Short Dress. It actually looked good on me.

After I put it on, Kirsten came into the pool house.

"It looks good on you." Kirsten says.

"Thanks." I replied.

"I thought these would go with the dress." She replied as she then gave me a pair of rose earrings. They actually did seem to go well with the dress. She also left a pair of shoes on the floor.

"Thanks." I repeated. It seemed appropriate, also because I didn't exactly have the energy to come up with anything else to say.

"Here. Let me help you with your hair." Kirsten offered. I told her it wasn't necessary, but she insisted. She pulled half my hair back into a bun, letting the rest of it fall down. Then she curled it. I had to admit, it seemed she was good at doing someone's hair; maybe she had a sister growing up.

"Did you have a sister to practice on?" I ask.

"Yes, I did." Kirsten nodded. "I guess Ryan's not the person for doing hair."

"Not really." I chuckled. The only thing Ryan ever learned to do was a ponytail and that took forever. I learned quicker than he could.

"Anyways, I think I will go check on your mom." Kirsten says before leaving me to finish getting ready. I went back into the bathroom and put on some makeup. Kirsten had also allowed me to use some of her pink lipstick and eyeliner.

Once I finished, I went out into the house and found both Seth and Ryan were dressed.

"You look beautiful." Sandy tells me when I walked in.

"Thanks." I smiled.

"Samette Atwood, everyone." Seth says and I glare at him.

"Don't ever call me that again." I warned. I hated being called that.

I then went over and sat down on the couch. I felt a bit tired and I had needed to sit down. Then Sandy came over and sat next to me.

"Are you doing okay?" Sandy asks me.

"As well as I can be." I said. I wondered if Kirsten I had told Sandy what I told her earlier today; I hoped not. I didn't want everyone knowing that stuff.

"I heard you didn't go with her and Ryan today."

"I told you I didn't want you to find her." I pointed out.

"I know, but—" I cut Sandy off before he could get more than three words out.

"I'm going to the party with her. I guess you could consider that progress." I said with a slight laugh. It was probably the only thing I was willing to do. I was not going to set myself up to be disappointed. I couldn't watch the same things happen again.

"Well, you know, even if things really do work out with your mom, it doesn't mean we won't see each other." Sandy mentions. Well I guess that was a good thing. "I'll be here if you ever need me."

"Thanks Sandy." I grinned, slightly.

"Same goes for tonight, okay?" I nodded at what he says and then after that is when Kirsten comes down the stairs with mom in a dress that Kirsten let her borrow.

"So how do I look?" Mom looks between Ryan and me.

"You look amazing mom." Ryan smiles at her.

"You look beautiful tonight, Sam." Mom tells me.

"Thanks." I replied. I don't think I have heard her tell me that since I was eight years old. I smiled a bit. I guess it was nice to hear your mother call you beautiful.

Hopefully this night would be okay.


We went to the party. We lead my mom in, whom was quickly overwhelmed with seeing a Newport party for the first time. I then excused myself as my mother and Ryan headed for the blackjack table. I found Kaitlin almost instantly.

"Hi." I said.

"Hey." Kaitlin replied as she then looked over at my mom and Ryan. "Is that your mom?"

"Yeah." I sighed.

"She doesn't seem that bad." Kaitlin said and I frowned. It's not like she has seen her drunk or like the other ninety percent of the time. "Sorry."

"It's fine."

"I guess you're in the same room with her, so you're trying." She commented.

"I didn't have a choice." I told her.

I looked over and noticed Ricky staring at us. When Kaitlin looked over, he turned away. I wondered what that was about; was he stalking her?

"Has Ricky tried to talk to you at all?" I ask.

"I told you he just keeps calling me." Kaitlin replies.

"That's not the only thing." I pointed out as I saw him looking over here again.

"Is he looking?" Kaitlin asks and I nod. "Well besides the phone calls, he is always looking over at me. He tries not to make it noticeable, but…"

"What's his game?" I ask.

"If you find out, please tell me." Kaitlin says.

I would have to keep an eye on him.

I watched as Marissa then briefly interacts with Ryan, only to be stopped by seeing Luke, not looking to happy at that. Maybe I should go say something. I didn't really want to move—at all—but I knew I should try to help and make things right.

Ryan and I seemed to have the same idea as we both approached Luke.

"What?" Luke asked.

"Stop being such a dick to Marissa." I said, bluntly. I then leaned against the wall for support. I felt dizzy.

"Nothing happened between Marissa and me." Ryan tells him.

"Yeah right." Luke shakes his head in disbelief.

"All she did was get us some stuff when we were going to skip town. That's it." I told him.

"She loves you." Ryan added. It seemed to be true, or at least it was because she figures Ryan won't be sticking around so there is no future for them. "She wants you."

We left after that. I then went to go sit down, but there were no seats like anywhere. I was feeling really sick. I felt sort of dizzy, hot, and my stomach was killing me. It felt like something was stabbing me over and over. I have never had a stomachache this bad before, but I probably was just overreacting. I mean, it can only be food poisoning, right? It can't really be that bad.

"Sam! This is the greatest night ever!" Seth comes over and cheers. I forced a smile through the pain. I had seen Seth with Summer and apparently she kept winning after he blew on the dice. It was probably just luck, but whatever works for him is a good thing. "I'm sure by the end of the night, Summer will know my first name."

"I'll say a prayer for you." I replied, trying not to sound as bad as I felt.

"Are you okay?" Seth asks, but before I could say anything, he was pulled away by Summer, whom needed her good luck charm.

With every minute, I felt like it was getting worse and worse. I was doing everything I could to stay on my feet and seem like I was fine, but it was getting very difficult.

Kirsten walks over to me.

"Sam, are you okay?" Kirsten asks and I nodded. I wasn't going to be a bother to anyone. I would probably be fine tomorrow. She then placed her hand on my forehead. "Oh, you're burning up."

"I'm fine." I said, unconvincingly.

Then my mother suddenly shouted, walking back and knocking into one of the waiters whom then bumped into me. I fell onto the floor, which made it all worse. I couldn't even get up.

I looked up and watched as Kirsten and Ryan came over to me. My mom looked over, but then went back to playing blackjack like nothing had happened.

"Sam, what's wrong?" Ryan asks.

"I think she's sick." Kirsten says.

I wanted to say I was fine, but I couldn't. I couldn't move as it hurt so much. I felt dizzy and like I wanted to throw up again. It hurts so badly.

"Hurts." I whimpered.

Sandy then came over, crouching down so he was at eye level with me.

"Where does it hurt?" He asks.

"Stomach."

"Does it hurt more when I do this…" Sandy asks as he then presses down on my lower right abdomen. It hurt a hell of a lot more when he did that. I actually screamed; I wasn't expecting it to hurt that much.

I looked up seeing my mother gambling and drinking some drink. It's like she didn't even know what was happening. She clearly was drunk.

"Mom…" Ryan tried to pull her away.

She looked in my direction—it was a glance—before pulling away from Ryan and going back to her game. "Not now. I'm on a winning streak."

I knew this would happen. Exactly, what I said would happen. Meanwhile, I'm here in agony and she couldn't care less about me.

"Is she…?" I heard Kirsten start to ask.

"I'm going to take her to the hospital." Sandy said and before I knew it, he picked me up and drove me to the emergency room. I had my arms wrapped around my side; the pain was so bad. I didn't understand what was going on. I thought it was just food poisioning.

"Hurts." I breathed, already sounding weak and out of it.

"You're going to be okay, Sam." I heard Sandy say.

I was taken into the ER, where the doctors took a CT Scan, but only after he had done the same damn thing Sandy did. It hurt like hell the second time as well. They then told me my appendix had burst and I was going to need immediate surgery. It went all so quickly before they were rushing me down to the O.R. and putting me under.


Kirsten's POV

I watched as Sandy took Sam out and then looked to Dawn, whom didn't seem to even care about her daughter. I went over to her and tried to get her attention.

"Aren't you the least bit concerned about Sam?" I ask.

"She'll be fine. She's a fighter." Dawn said as she then told the dealer to hit her in the round. She then took a sip of drink, which I then took from her.

"Don't you think you've had enough to drink?" I ask.

She didn't respond.

"Dawn!" I exclaimed.

"What?! I'm in the middle…"

"Your daughter is being taken to the hospital." I told her and it didn't seem to affect her all that much.

"It sounds like she will be fine." Dawn turns her attention back to the game and I sighed, walking away. I couldn't believe this. Was this how she was whenever she got drunk? Though, I guess, at least going off of Sam's reactions toward her mother, I'd guess that there's probably been worse times than this. I shook my head. I just couldn't wrap my head around this.

Ryan walked over.

"She's been worse." He says.

"She didn't even seem to care about Sam." I shook my head. If I even heard that Seth got a cut or fell off his bike, I would drop everything to go to him. She didn't seem to care that her child was going to the hospital.

"If she had been losing she would have blamed Sam." Ryan said.

"What?"

"Not quite exactly like this, but in similar ways." Ryan said and I just figured out the rest on my own.

Dawn then backs up, slipping on some water, and falls onto the floor after causing a waiter to fall. It was the same one from before. Ryan rushes to her as I slowly get up and approach as things start to become the center of attention.

"What's your problem?" He snaps.

"My problem!? What's your problem?! Back off!" Dawn snaps back. But then looks up at Ryan as he got right next to her. "Oh, I must've tripped. It's these damn shoes."

Ryan glances at me as Dawn then starts giggling, attracting more people's attention. People started to make comments and I couldn't help but feel bad for Ryan; this was his mother.

"That lady is wasted." One said.

"I bet you could bang her." Another said.

"Hey! Shut up!" I heard Marissa and Kaitlin say, coming to her defense, probably mostly for Sam and Ryan's sakes. Though, most of the damage seemed to be done.

"Why doesn't someone quit staring and help me up?!" Dawn then screams and Ryan helps her up to her feet. "Finally!"

Ryan and I helped get her out of here and into the car as she then starts going on about how Ryan—and Sam—must hate her, only to have Ryan continue to tell her that he loves her.

"You must hate me." Dawn says.

"No, I don't. I love you mom." Ryan tells her.

"Sam must hate me."

"Sam, loves you too." Ryan tells her and I knew deep down she probably still does, but it was buried over all the hurt her mother has probably caused her.

"No, she doesn't. She hates me." Dawn shakes her head.

"She loves you, mom."

"Where is she?"

"Sick." Ryan tells her and she scoffs.

"Yeah right. She always has her excuses to avoid me." Dawn starts going on, but eventually stops. It took Ryan, Seth, and I to get her into the pool house. We got her on the bed and then stepped outside, letting her rest. She'd sleep it all off.

"Sorry about all that." Ryan apologizes.

"It's not your fault, Ryan." I tell him.

"I should have been watching her. Keeping an eye on her." Ryan says and I frowned. It wasn't his job to keep an eye on her. She is the mother; she is the one who should keeping an eye on him.

"…and Sam—I should have known something was wrong." Ryan was now blaming himself for what happened to Sam.

It seemed he felt like he had to take care of everybody; his mom and his sister. He shouldn't have to. He's just a kid.

"It's not your fault." I told him. I had thought Sam looked a bit out of it earlier, but I just figured it was nothing. I didn't even ask. I should have. It's not like she would have willingly told anyone. I hope she's alright.

"We didn't ruin the party, did we?" Ryan then asks.

"The party isn't important." I told him. I would probably hear it from Julie Cooper and the others at another time, but I didn't care. That wasn't the important thing. That's not what we should worry about. "How about we go to the hospital? Go check on Sam?"

"I think I better stay here with my mom." Ryan said.

"I'll call you when I know anything." I told him before I left.

I drove to the hospital and found Sandy in the waiting room.

"How is she?" I asked after giving him a hug.

"Appendicitis; she's in surgery now. I'm waiting to hear." Sandy tells me. I figured that's what it was. I knew that's probably why Sandy did what he did there. He remembered from when Seth had it when he was five. "How's Dawn?"

"Sleeping it off in the pool house." I told him.

"Where's Ryan?"

"Keeping an eye on her."

I felt frustrated. I wanted things to go well and for Dawn to really have changed. I know Ryan had hoped for it too. But it seemed Sam was right. I guess she was prepared for this. It was hard to wrap my head around some of the things those two old me and then what happened tonight. It wasn't fair to them.

"You seem tense." Sandy speaks up after a while.

"You didn't see her Sandy. I mean, it's like she didn't even seem to care that her daughter was going to the hospital." I said.

"It was the alcohol." Sandy said.

"Sam, knew this was going to happen." I shook my head, thinking about all the times, this kind of thing must have happened for her to be how she is; unwilling to trust her. "And Ryan, he blamed himself. He blamed himself for not watching them; both of them."

Before Sandy could reply, the doctor came out and called for Sam's name.

"How's Sam?" I ask.

"Are you her parents?" He asks and Sandy looks at me, unsure of what to say.

"Yes, we are." I said. I knew we weren't but we knew otherwise they wouldn't let us see her. We knew Dawn wouldn't be coming so we had to be here.

"It seems that the cut she has on her hand got an infection. It was treated, but it is possible that is what called the appendicitis." He tells us. I sighed. She got hurt while she was in juvie. If only she hadn't been in there.

"Now, the surgery went perfectly. Sam is going to be just fine. Now she'll probably wake up within a few hours, but we do want to keep her until the morning. If everything checks out then, we'll release her." He finishes explaining. I felt very relieved.

"Can we see her?" Sandy asks.

"I'll have a nurse take you to her." He nods.


Sandy and I took shifts throughout the night. I had called Ryan and left a message when he didn't pick up. He probably is asleep. He had also been through a lot tonight. Sandy and I decided to stay at the hospital for the night in case Sam did wake up. We figured she should have someone here for her.

She woke up around three in the morning.

I heard her mumble something before she opened her eyes. I almost could have sworn it sounded like 'mom'. But then I heard her say my name. "Kirsten?"

"Hi. How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Like I was cut open and drugged." She replied.

"Very funny." I laughed.

"Where's Ryan? And everyone else? What happened?" Sam asked.

"Seth and Ryan are at the house. Ryan wanted to stay back and keep an eye on your mother. And Sandy's on a coffee run." I told her. "And you had a surgery to remove your appendix."

"That probably explains why I feel like I've been cut open then." Sam quipped.

"I guess it would."

"It probably was a good idea—Ryan keeping an eye on her." Sam replied.

"I'm sorry." Sam then added.

"For what?"

"For all that happened tonight."

"It's not your fault. I don't think you could have helped it." I smiled a bit. I doubt Sam could have prevented this. I'm sure she would have if she could have. I doubt this is where she would want to be right now.

"Get some rest. We can take you home in the morning." I told her.

"I don't have a home." She mumbled before falling asleep.


In the morning, Sam was discharged from the hospital. Sandy and I took her back to the house. Sam followed me outside to go see Ryan and we caught Dawn trying to sneak out with her bags; was she leaving?

"Sammi, I'm glad to see you're okay." Dawn smiled at her, but Sam didn't look very pleased. She just walked into the pool house, probably looking to see Ryan. I could see that Sam was hurt by seeing her mother was leaving.

"I guess you caught me." Dawn said, awkwardly once Sam left.

"You can't do this. You're their mother." I said, crossing my arms.

"I'm not a mother. I'm a mess." She replied.

"You have a responsibility to them."

"I am being responsible." Dawn said. "I mean, last night—my one kid was sick and going to the hospital. It seems I didn't even care. She hates me. And my other one—he's more of a man than his old man is. He protects and takes care of Sam, when he really shouldn't have to. He's more of a parent than I am."

"They deserve better." She adds. "I'm not wired for this."

"What—"

"I can't care for anybody else, let alone myself." Dawn shakes her head. "You hold your family together, while I tear mine apart."

"Dawn—" I tried, but I honestly wasn't sure what to say, especially after last night.

"I'm not like you. I don't have what you've got." She says, but I wasn't sure what things she was talking about. It's not always money that matters. "The way your husband looks at you. The way your kid looks at you. Even my own kids."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"They all look at you like, no matter what, you're going to make everything okay." She tells me.

"You can't walk away." I said, I meant at least, without telling them goodbye. She shouldn't really even walk away from this. She loves them, I know she does, so she should be trying harder to be there for them. Not giving up because it seems hard.

"Why? This is the first good thing I'll ever do for them." She says. I didn't understand how leaving is the best thing she could do for them? "This way, Ryan and Sam end up with a real mom."

I didn't know what to say.

"Take care of them. They deserve it."

Ryan and Sam step out of the pool house and watch as she walks away. They look angry, but also heartbroken at the same time.

I walked over to them.

I knew now that is the right thing.


Sam's POV

Our mom was leaving us; again. I knew something like was going to happen. I thought if anything she wouldn't start drinking until we get a place and then she'd get a boyfriend. I thought it'd be like that. But no, she gets drunk at the party and then ditches us again. I can't believe she is abandoning us all over again.

Ryan wrapped an arm around me.

I don't know what the hell we are going to do now.

Kirsten approached us; I guess she was going to try to reassure us about foster care.

"It's going to be okay." Kirsten says.

"Don't sugarcoat it." I replied.

"We know the drill." Ryan added.

"Come into the house with me." Kirsten said. I looked at Ryan, before looking back at her as she headed inside. What does that mean?

We followed her into the house. She stood next to her in the kitchen as Sandy was making breakfast and Seth had just come in after waking up, it seemed.

"Hey." Sandy greeted.

"Hey." Seth said. "Where's—"

I shook my head, getting him to shut up. Our mom was gone and it didn't seem like she was going to come back. We are abandoned without anyone again.

"Ryan and Sam are going to stay with us now." Kirsten says and I looked up at Ryan and then at her. Was she serious? She wanted us to stay? They all wanted us to stay?

"That's awesome!" Seth cheers.

Ryan and I smiled.

"That's awesome, right?" Seth asks and we both nod. "Come on, lets go and talk." Seth then started to pull us in the direction of the living room. We then turned back to Sandy and Kirsten before doing so.

"We'll unpack later." Ryan and I both said, smiling.

I couldn't believe this actually was happening. They want us to stay. We are staying. Ryan and I have a home now.


A/N: Now Sam and Ryan get to stay with the Cohens. Sam was not happy to see her mother return and she later ended up in the hospital. Also Sam disclosed to Kirsten that she was sexually abused when she was thirteen, though that wasn't the first time. The two females that interacting with Sam in juvie are portrayed by Zendaya & Troian Bellisario.

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