Speak now

Part 3

Outside the Church, everything seemed to take another meaning and the actual entity of his action was hitting him hard. Every single guest to the wedding was silently throwing side glances at him while leaving - or so he guessed, because he didn't dare to look up and, actually, he felt that he would have never been able to do that anymore. Honestly, a part of him was regretting his choice to come. What was he thinking, that for a moment of bravery he would have won Isobel's heart and they would have lived happily ever after? Well, now he was left alone, full of doubts and with no one to blame except himself and his own stupid mouth. He couldn't have even pretended to blame abuse of alcohol this time; quite the contrary, he had been too lucid and that was exactly the problem. He had felt like he had nothing to lose, but now was sadly discovering that he could have potentially destroyed the two most important things in his life: his reputation as sensible man and the friendship with the woman he loved.

Probably, Isobel wasn't going to forgive him; surely, people weren't going to forget.

He wanted to leave in order to spare himself more minutes of general pity, but it was only when he saw no one else coming out the main entrance of the building that he decided to move. His hope kept him in place, his foolish wish to see her appear at any moment forced him to wait a little longer. And that was why, when after taking some steps he felt a hand on his arm, he stopped immediately and turned around abruptly with a certain expectation.

"Lady Grantham" he said with a deep sigh, failing miserably at concealing his disappointment. "It seems our plan did not work out" he continued then, with a hint of bitterness in the voice.

"Who said that? The game is not over yet!" Violet replied, showing instead an unchanged determination, soon confirmed by a sort of reproachful glare. "And don't you tell me that you are going away now that you are so close to win!"

"What makes you so sure that she will pick me?"

In front of his still discouraged expression, the woman just slightly shrugged and offered him a smile. "Well, all I know is that I would runaway with you, doctor Clarkson!"

Richard eyed her curiosly for some moments and then, repressing the instict to roll his eyes, smirked back at her amusingly. After all, it was a good reason to hope indeed.


A soft knock on the door broke into the bubble of peace that Isobel had created around herself. She had asked for a moment alone, and yet that moment had turned into many more, even if she couldn't say how many exactly. Moments spent in silence, mostly thinking about the absurd twist of events and kinda hiding herself from the rest of the world. But with that knock, the world was coming to get her and she wasn't ready to face it yet, so she just sighed in frustration and tried to ignore it for a little longer.

Another louder knock and her sigh became louder as well.

"Plase, leave me alone, Violet. I am in no mood for-"

"Oh, cousin Isobel, I think you are mistaking me for the wrong Crawley"

She had thought until that moment that nothing could have led her to open the door, but yet she was finding an exception now. After hearing the soft and totally unexpected voice, she blinked twice in surprise but still didn't hesitate much before giving the consense to come in. Of all the people she may have guessed, the young woman that slowly entered the room was the last she had in mind, but as isobel was realizing only in that moment, probably the only one she would have allowed to see her in that situation.

Sitting on the floor, with puffy red eyes of now dry tears, and a blank face: that was how Lady Edith found her and, according to her kind and empathetic smile, she wasn't expecting a different sight.

"They are all talking about me, aren't they?" Isobel asked, surprisingly being the first to break the silence.

Edith nodded in confirmation with a small sigh and just remained silent for a short while, during which she sat down on the floor as well. "But don't worry, they will forget about it eventually… I know very well how interrupted weddings work" she added then, covering with an ironic chuckle the unavoidable hint of bitterness in the voice.

The older woman frowned in confusion, but it didn't take long for her to widen her eyes in sudden realization. Thinking about it now, it didn't seem so strange that the unluckiest Crawley girl was the first who dared to actually talk to her. "Of course you are, dear, I am sorry" she whispered sincerely and she didn't even know what she was apologizing for.

Maybe because yes, they had lived a similar situation, but their roles were exactly the years before Edith had been the one to be pitied, Isobel was feeling now like the one to be blamed; without actually doing anything, she was feeling like being the villain of her own fairytale.

"No need for that. Now I honestly think that it was for the best" the younger woman kindly replied though. "At first, when Anthony left me on the altar, I felt only the shame, the betrayal and that huge sense of abandon. I thought that he didn't love me enough, but then I realized how much a fool I was because he loved me too much, actually…" she continued in a sad tone. It was surely pain for her to bring up the subject and talk about it so openly maybe really for the first time, but somehow it was a detached pain now, a pain balanced by a new awareness. "He wasn't afraid of interrupting the ceremony, he wasn't afraid of making a fool of himself. He left me because he thought that it was the best for me, that I could have had other chances to be happy and, well, he was right. I suffered of course, but I grew and learnt and found reasons to be happy eventually. I found love again, I have a wonderful job, I have Marigold and… And I'm just happy over all. I am happy and I have to thank Anthony for that, isn't it ironic?"

Isobel had looked at her all the while in authentic suprise at that unexpected but beautiful confession. She was happy for her, having been a witness herself of that amazing path that led Edith to turn from the ugly duckling of the family into a beautiful swan; but also, those words were working somehow as a balm for her own current feelings. "So you really don't blame him anymore?" she asked, with sincere curiosity.

"No, I don't" Edith simply answered, pausing for some seconds, as if she was finally silently closing in her mind that chapter of her life. Then, she suddenly shook her head and offered the almost- bride a new smile. "Do you know why I am telling you all of this?"

"Maybe because it was thanks to what happened today that you had this realization? Something good came out of this at least…"

Unexpectedly, Edith let out a loud laugh, a sincere one that Isobel had not seen often on her lips. "This is not about me, this is about you" she explained then, somehow amused. She had never been at the centre of attention in her whole life and now it was kinda funny that the person who was giving her an actual consideration, was the one that she was trying to give an advice to. "What I'm trying to say is that you should do what you think is right for you… Doctor Clarkson hasn't been afraid to speak up to tell you how he feels and if you feel the same for him, you don't have to worry about anything else. Lord Merton will understand, everyone will understand"

"Maybe" Isobel sighed, not sounding much convinced. Maybe it was true that everyone would have understood eventually, but the problem was that she was the one who still couldn't understand. Was it possible that Richard Clarkson had been in love with her all this time and she had just been too blind to see? Was it possible that she herself was in love with him as well? Was it possible to discover it all in a theatrical way like that? She was still expecting to find out that the whole situation had been just a dream or a silly joke. As she shook her head in the vain attempt to make the absurdity disappear, suddenly it was her turn to chuckle. "Don't you think that it is silly of me to marry for love at my age?"

In that moment, she almost looked like a little girl ready to be scolded, but far from that Edith just looked back at her with fondness and took her hands in hers own. "Honestly, Cousin Isobel, especially at your age, why should someone marry at all if not for love?"


First of all, thanks for the reviews as always!:) No Richobel yet in this chapter, as I decided that Isobel needed a little push and why don't let Edith be that push? I loved the relationship between Edith and Anthony Strallan, so I hope you don't mind the hint I made to Andith. See you soon with the last part!