Chapter 3

Payment

BPOV

My life was fantastic when I was high and a complete disaster when I wasn't. I would meet James on a weekly basis to get more drugs so I could survive. Charlie was absolutely clueless about the drugs and I intended to keep it that way. Charlie thought that I had a new boyfriend that lived in Port Angeles and kept pestering me to bring him home so that he could meet him. That wasn't going to happen anytime soon with Charlie being a cop and all.

My old friends at school knew that something was up with me. I was moody all the time now and I would constantly lash out at anybody who brought it up. When I was high I was happy and flirty with almost everyone. When my high started to wear off I wouldn't hesitate to call somebody an insulting name. Mike in particular was extremely clueless though. He was a lot like a lost puppy that had started following me around ever since he had gotten to know that flirty me. I would kiss him sometimes to piss off Jessica and make it so she would shut up every once in a while. Jacob on the other hand was starting to become more and more suspicious. That was all right with me though. Ever since he had joined Sam's little gang he couldn't have cared less about me.

The drugs and alcohol began to change me. I noticed a huge change in my confidence level. My wardrobe began to change too. I didn't mind wearing short, tight skirts and skin tight jeans. It made James happy and when James was happy he made me happy. Work was the worst part of my life. I couldn't show up to the shop high or drunk because then I would be risking my job. I needed my job to pay for my drug supply. I got through it though.

I was lost in thought thinking about all these things when my cell phone buzzed. I smiled when I saw James number and flipped it open.

"B, Need more? Meet me club lightning 10. J"

I smiled at the thought of another high and went to change. I straightened my long dark hair and changed into a black halter top dress that hugged the curves that I had and fit me like a glove. Then I put on some dark eyeliner and 3" black heels. I looked at my reflection and smiled in approval. I looked hot and I knew it.

After I was ready I took out my drug supply or my merchandise as James liked to call it and shot up the remainder of my Heroine supply. I knew that I would get more from James tonight. I grabbed my purse and the keys to my truck and headed downstairs. Charlie's eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw me.

"Now just hold on a minute young lady. Bella where do you think you're going?"

"Dancing with James."

"Not dressed like that you're not."

"Yes I am. I'm 18 years old; I can do what I want."

"Not when you're living in my house you can't."

"Fine, have it your way!" And with that I went back up to my room and climbed out my window and down the tree. Then I started my truck and headed to Port Angeles.

I drove as fast as my slow truck would go anxious to see James. I spotted the club and quickly parked my truck. I walked into the club and found James sitting in a corner with several other people that I had never seen before. James stood and came over to me when he saw me.

"Hey Bella, you look hot." Then he leaned down and kissed me. The kiss was nice but nothing like the kisses I've had in the past. He led me to the table and handed me a drink. I downed it quickly not even taking the time to taste the alcoholic beverage. It wasn't long before I was dancing with a guy that had been with James when I had walked in. We were bumping and grinding and then James came and cut in.

I was actually having a great time. I was completely drunk and James and I were having fun on the dance floor. James leaned down and whispered in my ear,

"Hey why don't we get out of here and I can give you some more merchandise." I nodded dumbly and staggered out of the club with a completely sober James at my side. James led me to his Mercedes and held the door open for me. I was having a hard time paying attention and the next thing I knew we were parked in front of a motel. I got out of the car and made my way to the door that James was holding open for me. I walked into the room and lay down on the bed. James came and lay next to me and said,

"Bella I'll get those drugs for you alright?" I nodded and he went and put all of the drugs in my purse then he came and lay by me again. I leaned over and grabbed my purse. Then I pulled out my wad of cash and made a motion to hand it to him. But James just shook his head and put the cash back into my purse. I was extremely confused. I doubted that he was going to give me the drugs for free but I couldn't figure out what was going on.

James smiled at me and said,

"Bella I don't want your money tonight. I think that we should make a different arrangement." I nodded and waited for him to continue. "Bella, I don't want your money but I do want you."

Then James leaned in and kissed my more passionately than he ever had before. I was too drunk to even care at the moment. He kissed me and I lay back on the bed. He hovered over my body as he lay over me and then he began to push up my dress. I didn't know why but this bothered me. I readjusted myself so that his hand wasn't under my dress without breaking the kiss. James adjusted himself and continued to grope me under my dress. I didn't like it. It felt wrong.

"James stop." James stopped for a moment and looked at me.

"James I don't want to do this right now. I just need some time."

"No Bella, This is your payment for those drugs I gave you."

"But James I don't want to."

"Bella, if you want any more drugs from me you will."

I sat straight up and punched him in the face hard enough to knock him unconscious. I grabbed my purse and staggered out of the motel room. I reached around and found my cell phone and hit the first number on speed dial knowing that he would help me. He answered on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Jake, can you come pick me up?"

"Bells? Where are you?" I looked around for anything that might look familiar to me in my drunken state and saw the club that I had been at earlier. "Club lightning in Port Angeles." My words were slurring together and I could tell that Jacob was concerned.

"I'll be right there. Bella don't try and go anywhere." I slurred something in response and then I hung up and went and sat in my truck. I noticed how cold it was for the first time after I had climbed into my truck. I struggled but finally managed to put my keys in the ignition and turn on the heater. I waited and waited but it never got warm so I turned it off and lay down in the cab of the truck. I thought about what had happened and began to cry as I realized what had happened.

Someone knock on my car window hard. I jumped and saw that it was only Jake. I began crying even harder though because it had scared me. Jake opened the door on the passenger side after I had unlocked the doors and climbed into the cab with me. He quickly reached over and pulled me into his warm embrace. I cried for a little bit longer but then I began to doze. I was hardly conscious when Jake buckled me into the passenger seat and took my place in the driver's side. I closed my eyes and was surrounded by nothing but the dark for a long while. When I opened my eyes again Jake had just turned off the car and had reached over to unbuckle my seat belt. I sat up and the next thing I knew I had gotten out of my car and was on my hands and knees in front of Jake's house throwing up all over the lawn. Then I passed out again.

The next morning I woke up in Jacob's bed. I looked around the room quickly for any sign of Jacob and saw an empty sleeping bag that had obviously been slept in on the other side of the room. I had a killer headache and I stumbled into the bathroom to attempt to make myself feel any better. Jacob had written me a note in black dry erase marker all over the mirror that read,

Bella,

I had some things that I had to take care of but I will be back very soon. I hope that you will wait for me to get back. We are definitely going to talk about what happened last night! Charlie knows that you are safe but you are in major trouble for leaving in the first place.

Wait for me,

Love Jake

I felt a panic attack come on as I thought about Jake finding out about all the drugs that I had been taking. He wouldn't hesitate to tell Charlie or worse take them away from me. I couldn't let that happen and that would happen if we talked about last night. Jake had a way of getting information from me that no one else except a certain ex-boyfriend had. I felt the expected waves of pain that coursed through my body at the thought of that someone. I couldn't handle this. I opened the bathroom door after I had washed my face and came face to face with Jacob.

"I had a feeling that you weren't going to wait for me which is why I hurried back." I snorted at this and pushed my way passed him. I couldn't do this now. But Jake was persistent and apparently very impatient to learn about everything that was going on. "Bella what happened, what has been going on in your life for the past five months that has been changing you so drastically." I just shook my head and went to grab my car keys and my purse from the night stand. I almost squealed in surprise when Jacob cornered me against the wall and put both of his hands on either side of my face preventing escaped until he permitted. "Bella what happened."

"Alright you want to know what's going on in my life I'll tell you. 8 months ago my boyfriend and his family left me telling me that they didn't love me or care about me anymore. They told me that I was pathetic and that they had moved on to bigger and better things. When they left they tore apart my life. Then I grew closer to my best friend. The nightmares went away for a while and I thought that I was finally moving on too. I felt like I was healing and getting better with every moment that I spent with my best friend. However life had other plans for me. My best friend went and joined the local gang and told me he never wanted to see me again ripping what was left of my heart out of my already mangled chest. So I had nothing to live for. I tried my best to move on and live my life the way it was before I had known my ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend. I couldn't do it. So I drove to Port Angeles with the intention of ending my life in the city. Then I met someone new. Someone who acted like they wanted me and made the pain go away for a little while. He talked me out of killing myself and made me happy again. We had fun together and last night was supposed to be just that, fun. Let's just say that things didn't go the way he expected and we broke up and I called my ex- best friend to come and pick me up because I was too drunk to drive home and couldn't call my father. That's it. That's my shitty excuse of a life and frankly right now I don't really want to talk about it with anyone, especially you."

I pushed Jacob away and went and grabbed my things. Jacob was still standing in stunned silence right where I had left him when I walked out of his room and out of his house. I could feel the tears flowing down my cheeks but I didn't care. I had other things that I needed to worry about. I didn't know how long I could make my supply last and I needed to find someone else who would sell me the drugs that James wouldn't. I walked over to my truck and pulled open the heavy door preparing to get in and take off. Just then Jake decided to make a recovery from the shock that I had put him in.

"Bella wait." I just shook my head and got into my truck. I closed and locked the doors and put the key in the ignition.

"Bella please, let me explain. It's not what you think." I pulled out of the driveway quickly and floored it out of La Push. I didn't know what I was going to do. Jake had been my last hope and my last resort. I had a feeling that life was going to become completely unbearable in the very near future and I was afraid that it was going to break me this time.