Waking up with a throbbing headache i feel disorriented and sit up gently,looking around i see im in sookies room and i can hear voices distinctly sounds like someones yelling about something but in my groginess i cant make out what it to remember how i ended up here it all suddenly comes back to me.I came home to a crying sookie and a blood soaked floor.

The amount of grief at the thought ive my beautiful gran being gone hits me like a brick wall of the door bursts open and in come sookie followed by tara and a word i instinctively hug sookie but immediately feel the urge to pull back but something keeps me there,disconnected from the world i slowly pull back but am so immersed by sookies memory of finding gran that just bombarded my senses that i dont snap back into reality until i see jason storm into the room and slap sookie.

I cover my mouth in shock while lafayette kicks jason out and tara and i check on sookie "he had no right to do that to you sook and you know hes wrong,it was not your fault" i attempt to comfort her kissing her cheek she takes the valium offered by la and they leave to rest while i choose to stay with lay there holding eachother for comfort drifting into a dreamless sleep which i am thankful up later in the day i go to my room to find kat sleeping there.

I couldnt dream up a better friend i know she loved gran is if she was her own my footsteps she stirs awake and sits i get in bed and we hug eachother,our combined sobs filling the air and just like that for the first time since finding out about grans death i am able to start grieving with my soul sister.

After a good couple hours of crying we freshen up,i change into an oversizzed tshirt and shorts with sneakers not bothering with makeup and leaving my hair in a messy bun we go to get something to eat at merlottes,too emotionally tired to bother making anything."id doesnt seem real,my brain understands it but its like its trying to deny it" kat says unbelievingly and i nod numbly not ready to talk just yet my heart feeling too aware that my face is devoid of all emotion,to outsiders at this moment i must come off as cold,heartless,unfeeling.

Theyll say its not normal behaviour for someone grieving over someone they love but i know kat knows gran ever knew me better than kat at merlottes i enter through the back not wanting to face all the people in there and go to find lafayette in the kitchen and knock lightly on the doorway

"hey lu whats you doin here?" i go to respond but cant find my voice so kat jumps in seeing my difficulty

"we were wondering if we could eat in here,and not out there with 'the buzzards' " she quotes la himself

"course yous can better then bein out there wit them ignorant redneck motha fuckers" same ol la,we sit on some stools and wait not bothering to choose what we want trusting lafayettes judgement.

In no time at all we have our food,mine is a bowl full of mac n cheese with ham in it,my favorite comfort food,feeling so touched by the fact he even bothered remembering that i manage to give him a watery smile and he winks in return going back to work he tells us to just take itt home and eat to bring back the plates some other day so we do.

Getting home we stay on the porch and eat "you remember third grade when vicki tomlin started picking on you" says lu

"yup and you warned her to stop or youd beat her up,next time she bothered me you made her eat sand" i reply

"they couldnt reach my mom so your gran came down and told them suspending me would be a load of bull cause i was just being a strong woman and that girl deserved it then grabbed us and left leaving the principal staring after us all dumbfounded and shit"

"haha yeah but when we got home she made us both clean all the dishes" i finish and for the first time all day my heart lifts a little reminiscing about old times and its then i realize gran wouldve wanted us to reminisce and remember the good times.

To grieve but not dwell on her death instead remember how importand she was in our lives and thats exactly what we do we walk to the lake and together kat and i stay up all night reliving our memories with gran,laughing and crying until dawn when i go home to get ready for the funeral and so does kat agreeing to meet up at the cementary.

Taking a long warm shower i let my mind go blank and all of a sudden my legs go weak and fall down into the tub,a vision overcoming time its what seems like the future and eric is crying sitting on a as quickly as it came its gone but in its place is this overwhelming curiosity as to what could break the ever so stoic eric northman in that way.

Finishing up my shower i go grab a dress that was grans and she had given me as a present,a black 1950's style pin up dress and add some red ankle platform boots and throw my hair in a messy im running late i rush to the cementary and sit in between sookie and is up to talk before me.I instantly know this is gonna end badly the second sook starts to at her face its evident to me shes having trouble blocking people thoughts not even part way throught her speech she has a meltdown and yells at everyone to "Shut the fuck up!" before running away.

I stand to run after her but cant find her when i do shes talking to jason "Sookie, please. I mean, we're all we've got." he pleads "We've got nothing." she throws back at him and storms her words stop me in my is right,sookie and him are the only family i have left and vice versa.I know she probably didnt mean it but that doesnt change the hurt that trickles throughout my body and i have to surpress the sob that threatens to escape.

Straightening up i go back to see everyones gone,i kiss a single red rose,say a prayer and cold and alone my mind turns to eric and godric and intempted to go bother eric just to have something to do but decide against wanting to go home just yet i go to the deepest most secluded part of the cementary and lay down,i listen to the sounds of the earth sorrounding me and realize that despite being sorrounded by many people im esencially alone in life.

Only kat is by my side unconditionally but even so,for how long? we'll graduate and probably end up going seperate is always absorbed in some drama and jason is too busy chasing tail to notice my to cry out of self pity i direct my mind towards other things trying to connect the vision of godric in that room with something else desperately trying to get another glimpse so i can understand more,before i know it its pitch black out and ive made no progress so getting up i go home to find it empty and roll my eyes not surprised.

Ignoring the long list of txts and missed calls from kat i throw myself into bed and fall asleep hoping tomorrow will bring better tomorrow came and i fealt like being dead to the world so i slept and ate through the next day and a half but finally decide to get up after having ice water poured on me by kat "get up bitch! im bored as hell without you and its time you snap out of this pity party,i have some stupid family shit to take care of so im gonna go but you better get up or when i get back imma kick your ass" with that said kat throws a towel my way "delicate much?" i murmur but go shower anyways.

Wrapped in a towel i walk out of the bathroom only to get a call from sookie and answer slightly annoyed "yes sook?" "hey lu im sorry i havent checked on you but look,eric needs our assistance he wants us both there,do you think youre up for it?" i sigh feeling pissed off but knowing id like to see eric anyways so i agree and tell her ill meet them there not wanting to ride with her and she noticed my sounding distant she sure didnt let on.

Walking to my closet i pick out a black white and red plaid tie up shirt that leaves my stomach exposed pairing it with black spandex dance booty shorts,red converse,a high messy ponytail and silver hoop at fangtasia i see that they already arrived,i get lead in and am surprised to feel so comfortable eric lights up my day and brings a smile to my face but surpress it keeping a calm cool exterior.

I get caught up on the fact that someones been stealing and we are to serve as a screening process to see if we can weed out who is responsible.I sit back and let sookie do her last person to get interviewed is a skinny blonde named ginger who seems to know who did it but cant into her memories triggers a vision and all of a sudden im seeing the vampire bartender longshadow red handed.

As the vision subsides i feel my eyes widen and inadvertently send my thought to sookie who outs longshadow as the thief and a second later hes throwing himself over the bar to attack sookie,out of instinct i pull her out of the way and bill breaks off a beer tap and stakes him in the back to protect sookie covering her in blood,weirdly missing me since sookie was in frontt of me while eric and pam just look on at the scene seeming unaffected...

Pam takes sookie to clean up in the bathroom and i go to follow but stay behind hidden and hear eric telling bill hes gonna have to pay for killing longshadow in front of that whatever is said i block out getting a quick glimpse of a young redhead crying as bill is sentenced to turn vision fades and i supress the urge to gasp concluding it to be better for me to keep the newly acquired information to myself.

I see sookie and bill leave but choose to sit on a couch and stay a while pam smirking amusedly and leaving as eric just watches me with a raised eyebrow before coming over to sit with thinking i lean my head on him "you saw it didnt you?" he asks out of nowhere

"saw what?"

"longshadow youre the one that figured it out arent you"

"it came to me in a vision and thought it out to sookie without meaning to" i answer him truthfully not seeing much sense in lying about it but without thinking blurt out the next part

"i also saw bills punishment at the trial" realizing i said to much i slap a hand over my mouth and i feel a rush of air as eric switches from being next to me to kneeling in front of me

"is that so" he questions

"i see alot lets just leave it at that "for now" eric says lowly and i ponder whether to ask him a question,biting my lip i finally blurt it out

"can i stay here"

"for?"

"just tonight,i dont wanna go back to the house im not exactly seeing eye to eye with sookie"

"where would you sleep?"

"the couch" eric remains thoughtful for a second then nods and concedes giving me a blanket i lay down and dont even finish yawning before im out like a light.

At midday i stretch and get on my way but not before leaving a note to eric telling him to have fun at the trial,sarcasm intended,Walking into merlottes i hear sam telling arlene one of the waitresses whos like a cool aunt to me that she can have her engagement party at the bar "wait,shut the fuck up rene proposed where the hell have i been? congrats!" i gush play shoving her then hugging pulling away to look at the ring

"yup he proposed a couple days ago isnt he the sweetest? i cant wait to marry his cute lil cajun ass" she winks and we laugh.

Arlene goes to tend to her tables and i feel happy for of a sudden sookie comes in angrily and takes it out on poor andy,town cop,demanding he hurry up and catch the amy,erics new main gal and newest waitress here at merlottes steps in and talks sookie into going outside with her and getting some air.

Amy seems different,i dont really know her but apparently word is jason is smitten with her so thats enough for me to like her without knowing ive ever wanted is to see my big bro and sis happy.I may be peeved at sookie but it doesnt mean i dont love her i just want her to realize she wasnt there for me when i really needed her after grans death.

"The place seems awful busy" i comment turning my attention to sam

"yeah it is,do you think you could be a sweetheart and maybe help out for the rest of the night?" sam asks giving me adorable puppy dog eyes i cant resist and give in with a sigh

"ok sam,but i keep all tips" he gives me a wide smile and i turn to start waiting tables not realizing why im getting such lustful looks from the men until i remember im wearing the same thing as last night nut shrug it off and get to work.

Hours later bill pops in and i know its to say goodbye to sookie as he has to leave for the trial but first talks to sam for a minute who looks non too goodbye to sookie she gets really upset and cries as she kisses him and bill takes off after eric yells for him to wasting a beat i go comfort sookie "he'll be ok" i shush softly

"and how do you know" she asks anger seeping into her words but i ignore it knowing shes hurting

"cause i saw it" i said simply and she nods giving me one last hug before taking off to bills house.

Guess this means i have the house to myself tonight.I take over for the shift is over i call kat "hey kitty kay"

"whatup looney lu"

"you free tomorrow? im filling in at merlottes for sookie so wont get home til late but wanted to go into the city to get a dress for arlenes party"

"oh we're going to that? hw many does that make now?"

"kat dont be a bitch it doesnt matter what number shes on we're still going"

"fine whatevs im free" "good ill pick you up tomorrow then around noon"

"k bye luv"

"bye" hanging up i finish up and close up seeing as arlene had to leave and sam seems to have disappeared.

once im done and in bed i become dead to the world until the next ready and picking kat up we spend the day eating,shopping and making fun of random people imagining who they are,making up stories about their lives or what theyre saying as they converse with others.

Finally its time for the party and i get there with kat in tow wearing a short white floral dress with strappy sandals and a to kiss arlene we mingle and dance like a fool with kat getting of a sudden i get a dark feeling and get an image of sookie getting attacked.I take off like a bolt of lightning into the bar to find sam comforting sookie.

Going up to them i hug her discreetly trying to get a read of the memory she saw,seeing it clearly im able to get a name,Cindy Marshall.