Huh, first fic I've finished in a while…


Snake coughed, covered in soot and Ash.

"GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!" exclaimed Ash, making an awesome face, and combusting, and truning into ash.

Snake chuckled "Hehe!"

"Anyways, I need to find…Uh, I dunno…. Let's let fate tell us!" exclaimed Snake.

A sofa fell on Snake.

Fate laughed and flipped Snake off.

THE END

Kidding.

Meta Knight and Diddy Kong crawled out from under the wreckage.

"I'm alive!" exclaimed Diddy in happiness, throwing his fists up in the air in triumph.

An old Donkey Kong arcade machine fell from the sky and landed on Diddy.

"What the…?" asked Meta Knight, walking up to the machine. A sticky note was pasted on the machine, and it said:

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,., ,.. /´ /)

.,.,.,.,.,., ,.,./.,../

.,.,.,.,.,., ../¯ ../

.,.,.,.,.,., ./.,. ./ /

.,.,.,.../´¯/' ...'/´¯•¸

.,.,.,./'/.,./.,. ./.,. .,./¨¯\

..('….(...´(... .,.,.,. /'.,.')

.,.,.,\.,.,.,.,., .,.,. ..\/.,./

.,.,.,.''...\... .,.,. . .•´

.,.,.,.,.\.,.,. .,.,. ..(

.,.,.,.,.,\.,.,. .,.,. ...\

"Did that sticky note just flip me off?" asked Meta Knight.

Snake was looking the other way, at the sunset.

"Isn't it beautiful?" asked Snake.

The machine slowly started to creak forwards, Meta Knight gasping as it tipped over and crushed him.

"I mean, people these days just keep their heads in their iPhones and video games, and never looking up to appreciate this beautiful world." Said Snake, staring at the sunset.

Red liquid began to leak out from under the arcade machine.

"…I take it from your silence that you agree." Said Snake.


Five minutes of silence later.


Snake looked around.

"Uh, Meta Knight, Diddy Kong?" Snake looked around.

More red liquid leaked out from under the machine.

Snake lifted up the machine.

The Kool Aid guy lay crushed, twitching, kool aid leaking everywhere. OH YEAAAHHHH!

Meta Knight was in the crushed Arcade, playing one of the few intact games.

"Hey, I can warp." Said Meta Knight

"…" Snake paused "OK? So what should we do?"

"What is there to do? All our friends and allies are dead, and the masion is destroyed, all except for the arcade. I shall stay here and play." Meta Knight said coolly "I'll do something in my own sequel to this story though" the warrior whispered to himself. Sandbag lay in a corner, covered by rubble, concealed. But, he was very much alive. (another sequel, bro)

"Whatever." Snake walked, into the sunset. And burned to death. Sunsets are hot, you know.

By the power of another plothole, he was revived.

Snake walked away, slipping on the kool aid, breaking his neck.

ONE PLOTHOLE REVIVAL LATER

The mercenary pulled out a mop, put on an apron, cleaned up the Kool Aid, and walked off.

He tripped on the hem of his apron and broke his neck.

ANOTHER PLOTHOLE REVIVAL LATER

The mercenary pulled out a mop, put on an apron, cleaned up the Kool Aid, threw his apron off, and walked off.

He tripped on the apron he recently threw on the ground, tripped, and impaled himself on the mop.

YET ANOTHER PLOTHOLE REVIVAL LATER

The mercenary pulled out a mop, put on an apron, cleaned up the Kool Aid AGAIN, threw his apron off, threw his mop at the mansion rubble as hard as he could, and began to walk away, avoiding the apron.

Unfortunately, the mop hit the dead Fox's reflector, and it reflected back at him and impaled him.

ANOTHER ***ING REVIVAL DUE TO A PLOT HOLE LATER

"Ah, screw it all." Snake pulled out his Cypher helicopter thing and flew away.

Shooka shooka shooka….

All was well, but he flew up and into a jet intake.

Shucks.

*insert Benny Hill montage here*

Snake called for a taxi, but it ran him over.

Snake sat down to take a rest, but accidentally sat on one of Dedede's dead gordos.

Snake scratched his sandpaper beard, making his hand bleed. He wiped it on Pit's dead corpse, but Pit had AIDS and Swine flu, so…. FATALITY.

Snake paused, and thought to himself.

While he was stopping, Soap from Modern Warfare sniped him. Headshot!

Snake stopped, and went in the arcade to play a few games, btu Meta Knight, recently diagnosed with rabies, killed him.

Snake died from all those cigarettes.

*end benny hill montage*

"That…sucked…." Said Snake.

Kirby's corpse created a sort of black hole effect, killing him instantly. Kidding.

Actually, Snake went to the world of Pokemon, where he made a show where he discusses the good and bad pokemon. AND TELLS YOU WHAT'S UBER AND BULLSHIT.

(Maybe another story)


THE END?

(Probably, but you know, sequals)

Uh, casualties:

Kirbies: Killed by Weegee and Tails Doll

Pikachu: Died of shock (lol, electric pun) and terror

Jigglypuff: Killed by a falling fridge.

Cameraman: Beaten to death by Snake in chapter 2

Pichu: Died of ceiling collapsing on him

Mario: Sliced through by drugged Sonic

Sonic: Sped into wall, broke neck, dead on contact

Fox: Killed after blaster malfunction, radiation effects as well

Luigi: Spontaneously combusted

Wario: Spark from own fart igniting, causing gas explosion

Diddy Kong: Died of old Donkey Kong arcade machine falling on him

Everyone else but Snake and Meta Knight: Died of Wario's fart explosion

SandBag: Status, alive

What a wonderful story! See you next sequal!

I love you all!

Wait, no I don't!

Uh, bye.

Luv you all, I guess. Except you! Yes, you right there!

~Albino