This chapter was inspired by the episode of F.r.i.e.n.d.s. "The One with Ross's Inappropriate Song"

Fiyero was on the couch and had just finished changing Elsa's diaper " And that's why, no matter what mama says, we really were on a break." he then picked his baby daughter up and placed her on his knee "Come here gorgeous. Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly big baby butt! I like big butts." he then starts to rap "I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get..."

Elsa started to laugh which surprises her father "Oh my God, Elsa... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Papa made you laugh, huh? Well, Papa and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more?" he continues to rap "Uhm... my anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon..." Elsa laughs again and Fiyero started to look worried "I'm a terrible father!"

Later that day Elphaba came back from chatting with Cynthia, Mattie, Hattie, and Maud and Fiyero just put Elsa down for a nap.

"Hi." Elphaba greeted

"Hi." her husband replied "Guess what? I made Elsa laugh today."

Elphaba was in disbelief "You WHAT? And I missed it?"

" Yeah, and it was uhm... it was like a real little person laugh too. It was... it was like uhm..." He tries to impersonate his daughter's laugh, but it comes out very squeaky, very high pitched. "Only... only not creepy."

"Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh?" Elphaba asked excitedly

Fiyero suddenly became nervous "I uhm... Well, I sang... well actually I rapped... Baby Got Back..." Elphaba then went from excited to furious.

"You WHAT?" she snapped which startled her husband "You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?!"

" But you know what, if you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy uhm... body image... because... even big butts or uhm... juicy doubles."

His wife continued to give him a cold look

"Please don't take her away from me." he begged

Later that night Elphaba was in the nursery sitting on a chair with Elsa on her knee "Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mama... Please? Please laugh for mama..." she did everything she can to make her laugh "Not funny huh?" Elphaba sighed and looked at her five month old baby "Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody..."

"Oh what am I doing?" she thought " The things I have to go through.." " I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face..."

Elsa starts to laugh which puts a smile on her mother's face

"Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo..." Elphaba cheered picking up Elsa when Fiyero entered the nursery.

"Hey!"

"Oh Yero you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that..."

"Oh I know, isn't it? Ooh... what did you do to get her to laugh?"

" Oh! You know, I just... couple of things I tried ... I just sang a little..."

"You sang Baby Got Back didn't you?"

" Nothing else worked. That girl is all about the ass..."

I don't own Wicked or F.r.i.e.n.d.s.