Ok, so this is only really atempt 3.0, the rest of attempt 3 (3.1, 3.2 and so on) will be about the actual atempt

Cale: Why did you continue past attempt 2?

Me: because i'm bored and this is actually kinda entertaining

Cale: Oh, spare us the inhumanity

Me: hey, your in this one!

Cale: oh, god

Me: you don't seem very grateull

Cale: Since i'm in it, i'm probably going to get injured some how

Me: so?

Cale: just give the people the story already


Attempt 3.0
Soooo booooored... Gah, I'm not sure I want to attempt to kidnap Max anymore, I'm all out of ideas.
Ok, no I'm not, but all my current ideas are flawed.
Examples:
-Digging a trap hole
takes too long, I would get noticed.
-Running for governor of Arizona, then summoning Max to be my secretary
Yea, I might get one vote... Mine.
-Kidnapping her at the store
if I was overly strong or had a net... Ok, I'm working on a duck tape net, but that might take a few months.
-Taking an army of random people and capturing the house
Again, we'd get noticed.
''Cale! I'm out of ideas!'' Where is that kid when you need him?
''Sucks to be you. And don't yell, I'm right here''
''Joy. Do you have any ideas?''
''No, but I'm not a creeper that randomly decides he needs to kidnap a bird girl... Why do you want to kidnap her anyway?''
''Cuz I'm bored''
''And what do you plan to do to her if you actually succeed?''
''Take her to dinner or something... I don't know!''
''Shuuuuure you don't.''
''Ew! No! Not what I was thinking!''
''Uh hu. We'll go with that answer''
''Are you calling me a pedophile?'' I got to admit, I was getting pretty pissed.
''Yes''
''Screw you''
''please don't''
*attempts to suck brains out with a bendy straw*
''Why are you trying to eat my brains?''
''Because I'm pissed''
''P.M.S.!''
''Do you want me to shoot you with my nerf darts of doom?''
''You couldn't hit me if you tried!''
*shoots*
*cale writhes in pain*
''Anyway... Maybe I should try to see where they are traveling next...''
*cale is still in pain* ''How are you going to do that?''
''Hack into fang's blog''
''Nerd''
''Thank you... Oooooh, they are going to Alaska!''
''Why?''
''You expect me to know the answer to every question?''
''Yes''
*shoots again*
''(profane language)''
''It's probably to let Iggy have some temporary sight''
''fun''
''Cale, pack your bags we are going to Alaska!''
''Oooh! Do I get to see Russia from my house?''


Cale: Told you i'd get hurt

Me: And? you called me a pedophile!

Cale: so? you are! your trying to kidnap a 15 year old!

Me: yea... a 15 year old fictional character not to be used for that purpose!

Cale: if you say so.

Me: To all you readers out there, I've got a poll up to see what the duck tape martial art should be called. vote for your favorite!

R&R please