A/N: Well, I'm back. Sorry if it seems like I took too long, but I'm here now XD

Here is the second prompt:

Q: How often do they fight?

A: Try 60% of the time.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Avengers.


Chapter three: How Often They Fight~


Date: 05/23/13

Time: 11:47 a.m.

Tony rested his elbows on his desk, running his hands through his hair as he let out a frustrated sigh.

He could hear the raised voices coming from upstairs.

It had been over an hour and they were still going at it.

Again.

Tony clasped his hands together, bringing them up to rest just underneath his nose.

He sighed again.

"God dammit..."

He sat in his chair a few moments more, trying to calm himself.

Another loud noise, this time a crash.

That was it.

It was time to take action.

Without another word, Tony swiveled out of his chair and marched upstairs, all but stomping on every step.


When he reached the living room, his jaw almost dropped.

The place was a wreck.

The black leather sofas were misplaced (one of them was flipped over), various dvds and bits of Tony's music collection had been relieved of their places on the shelf at the end of the room and were now strewn across the floor, and the glass table that sat in the center of the room - that unbelievably expensive glass table - was now shattered.

And for some unknown reason, the perpetrators were nowhere in sight.

Tony raised a finger at his dvds.

"Okay, that wasn't where I left it."

He heard a crash coming from the kitchen and made a move to go over and investigate, only to find the God of Mischief stalking out of said room and back into the living area, Pepper not far behind.


"Loki, calm down! It's NOT that big of a deal!"

Tony watched as Pepper tried to console her significant other.

Un-successfully.

"I am sorry, but I will NOT be swayed! That THING must go! I refuse to be in the same room as that blasted-"

"Stop it! That's no way to-"

"To what?" Loki asked smartly, whirling around to face her. "Act like an Earthen teenager? Like Stark?"

"Hey!" Tony cut in.

Pepper sighed frustratedly, running a hand through her hair.

"What is your problem?!"

Loki seemed taken aback. He scoffed. "My 'problem', dear Pepper, is that I am trapped here on this forsaken planet with utterly useless devices, ridiculous clothing, limited magic, Stark, and-"

He stopped himself, realizing a little too late what was about to fly from his lips.

Unfortunately it didn't seem to matter.

Pepper put the pieces together quite quickly.


"And me? Is that what you were going to say?"

Loki was silent, and for the first time since Tony had known him, the mischievous god fumbled for words.

"I...Pepper, please-"

"No! No, I don't think so! In fact, I-" she paused, turning to Tony. "Tony, could you please leave?"

The man in question snorted a scoff. "Me?"

She nodded impatiently. "Yes, you."

"Well I could, but from the looks of things I'd have to come back in ten years."

Pepper threw her hands up in defeat, and Loki shot him a quizzical look.

All was silent, aside from the tense air that screamed at them.

And then Loki spoke.

"...Why?"

Pepper and Tony simultaneously turned toward the Asgardian, both with disbelieving looks on their faces.

Tony spoke first.

"Why what?"

He was quick to answer. "Why must you wait a decade to return?"

Pepper groaned, and Tony reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Oh my God..."


After Loki's obliviousness to Earth 'sarcasm', Tony had hoped that things between the demigod and his assistant would simmer down.

Unfortunately, he was wrong.

"I just don't understand what's so hard about-"

"Please, I beg of you, do not finish that sentence."

"Why not? It's just a-"

"NO! Do not say that word!"

"..."

"..."

"...Toaster."

"GAH, I cannot stand it any longer! I am leaving!"

"Well good! Because I don't really wanna talk to you right now, either!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

Loki turned and stalked away, tossing one more retort out for good measure.

"I do not wish to see you for the remainder of the night!"

Pepper was quick to reply. "Well I hope I never have to see you for the remainder of my life!"

When she received no comeback, she let out a loud and frustrating 'urgh' and stomped off in the opposite direction, leaving Tony to stand in the aftermath.

"Aw, come on, guys, let's not go to bed angry."

He called after them, but his attempts at lightening the mood went unheard.


Tony crept down the hall of Stark Tower, trying his best to keep quiet.

He stopped at his desired destination, and he tentatively reached out to turn the doorknob-

"I can't recommend you do that, sir."

Tony let out a barely strangled gasp, his hand flying up to clutch the plate in his chest.

"Good God, JARVIS, what are you doing here?"

"I am always 'here', sir. You installed me into every facet of the tower-"

"Yeah yeah, whatever. I mean what are you doing here, spying on me? Shouldn't you be looking after tall, dark, and brooding?"

"If by 'tall, dark, and brooding' you are referring to the God of Mischief, Loki, then you will be happy to know that I am simultaneously watching him and you, sir."

Tony sighed, annoyed.

"Yeah, well, stop watching me. It's my tower, for God's sakes."

"I apologize, sir. I merely wished to warn you about miss Potts."

Now his interest was piqued.

"Pepper? What about her?"

"She is just in the room beyond, and is not in the best of moods, sir."

"No shit," Tony rolled his eyes.

He reached for the doorknob again, only to find that it was locked.

"JARVIS, open the damn door."

"I am sorry, sir, but I cannot do that."

"And why the hell not?"

"As I said, sir, miss Potts is in a foul mood and does not wish to be disturbed."

He jiggled the handle again, more forcefully this time, giving up when he heard movement in the room beyond.

Pepper probably thought some pervert was trying to break into her room.

Tony could only direct his anger at JARVIS.

"I hate you."

"I know, sir."


Tony had gone back to his work station for the rest of the day, deciding it would be best if he 'let both parties cool down before deciding to converse with them', as JARVIS had so eloquently put it.

It was now 8:30, and now that JARVIS had deemed it a 'suitable time' to go check on Pepper, he had every intention of doing so.

Giving his latest invention one last tweak, Tony bounced up from his chair and skipped out of the basement and up the stairs, eagerness in his steps.


When Tony reached her bedroom door, he didn't hesitate knocking his knuckles against the cool wood surface, ears pricking as he listened for movement.

"Pep? You in there?"

From the room beyond, she answered without hesitation.

"Um, yeah. Tony, come- come on in."

She held a slight sniffle to her voice, and he could tell that she was still upset, but he wasn't about to wait around for an engraved invitation, either.

Giving the doorknob a successful twist, Tony opened the door to his assistant's room and poked his head inside.


Pepper stared at him strangely.

"...What are you doing?"

Tony's eyes shifted around the room.

"Making sure it's safe."

Her eyes flew to the ceiling and she let out a breathy chuckle.

"Don't worry, the area is secure."

Satisfied, he stepped into her room, silently closing the door behind him.

They stood there for a few moments, silently, awkwardly, until Tony decided to speak.

"So...you okay?"

She looked at him, shocked so much as to stumble over her words.

"Uh- I uh- w- what? Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

Tony nodded. "Oh. Well good."

She made a sound of agreement, nodding as well.

They stood in silence.

For a very. Long. Time.


Tony clapped his hands together, causing Pepper to jump.

"O-kay. I guess we're good."

"Wha- we are?" Pepper asked, brows furrowed in confusion.

"Yep. I just needed to know that...all this," he made a swirling motion with his hands. "Wasn't going to affect your work ethic. After all, I may only hire the prettiest, but I only pay the best."

Pepper blinked, unsure if she should interpret his comment as a compliment or not.

"Wa- was that all you wanted?" She asked, tilting her head.

He looked to the ceiling in thought.

"Um...yeah."

"Oh. Okay..."

"Yep. Just checkin' in on my favorite assistant."

"I'm your only assistant."

"Exactly."


With nothing more to say, Tony turned to leave. He grasped the doorknob to make his exit, but at the very last millisecond decided against it.

He turned back around, pointing a purposeful finger at Pepper.

"I know it's none of my business, but I gotta ask-"

She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

"I knew it..."

"-what was Loki so mad about?"

"You mean you didn't hear already when we were all in the living room?" She asked, face scrunched up in distaste.

Clearly, she didn't want to talk about it. Too bad Tony didn't particularly care at the moment.

As they say, curiosity killed the cat.

"Oh, I heard," he said. "I just wanted to make sure I didn't need to get my ears checked."

Pepper said nothing, but her change in demeanor and the way she began to shift her weight and stare at the floor told him that he was most likely-

"A toaster."

-insane?


Tony raised his pinky to clean out his ear.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you right, uh...did you just say toaster?"

She nodded. "Yep."

"A toaster? Caused all this?" He asked, unconvinced, motioning around the room with his index finger.

She blushed. "...Yes."

"As in a shiny electric device?"

"Yeah."

"That cooks toast? A God damned kitchen appliance?"

"...Yes?"

Tony put his hands together under the tip of his nose in a mock-praying position, obviously trying to give himself a moment to contain his anger while Pepper waited anxiously for him to reply.

"Are you flipping. Kidding me?"

"Uh...well...no." She said lamely, shrugging and drawing the corner of her mouth down in a lopsided expression.

Tony closed his eyes and slowly exhaled through his nose.

"Son of bitch, Pepper."


Pepper leaped to defend herself.

"I- I was trying to show him how it worked and he...well, you saw."

"And, all of this stemmed from all of that?" Tony asked, making crazy motions with his hands.

"Well, I probably could have been a bit more courteous, but I kind of...snapped after...he snapped," she sheepishly admitted, scratching her arm.

Tony let out a breath, running his hands over his eyes.

Pepper, upon seeing the obvious stress the situation was putting on him (as well as her), silently sighed and walked over to her bed and sat down, giving up on her facade.

"Oh, Tony, I don't know what to do," she threw her hands up. "I mean, one minute things are going great and-"

"And he's Superman with the wind at his back and you're Lois Lane?" Tony finished smartly, giving a slight chuckle.

Pepper shot him a look, obviously trying to be stern, but she ended up laughing despite herself.

"No, I- haha, well, yes - Exactly! And stop referencing rap songs! I'm gonna kill you..." she lost herself in a fit of laughter, and she fell back onto the bed, her body convulsing with giggles.

Tony moved to the opposite side of the bed and laid down, his head stopping to rest just beside Pepper's as he stared at the ceiling and listened to her laughter die down.

"...I don't know, Tony," she said after a while, her eyes fresh with tears from her laughing spree. "I love him, I really do. But..."

She sighed.

"Sometimes I just wonder if it's all worth it..."

Tony turned his head to look at her. She was staring at the ceiling, lost in thought and obviously waiting for an answer.

He studied the side of her face while he internally debated with himself.

He wasn't good at giving advice, let alone taking it, and he honestly didn't know what help he could be to the distressed woman laying beside him, if any, but he knew he had to try.

Any answer was better than none.

Giving his lungs a hearty exhale, Tony turned his head back towards the ceiling.

"Well if you ya ask me," he began, and Pepper's face turned toward his. "That guy's mind is not merely twisted, but actually sprained. I'd drop 'im like a hot tamale."

She looked down and pursed her lips, noiselessly sighing.

"But," he continued, and her bright blue eyes held hope. "I guess if you like...whatever it is that you see in him, then...I'm in no position to argue. If you really love the guy then go for it. But, please; leave my toaster alone."

Her eyebrows twitched.

"Did...did you just give me helpful advice, Tony Stark?" She asked with an open-mouthed smile.

"I told you, Pep; I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to start seeing things my way."


Tony collapsed on his bed, exhausted by the day's events.

He lay face down, head buried in one of his plush pillows, and sighed long and loud.

Slowly, he turned over.

"Am I insane for thinking that those two are gonna end up an old married couple?" He wondered aloud to himself.

"Not at all, sir." JARVIS replied.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. No one asked you."

"Sir, I feel I must remind you that I am programmed to reply to any and all unanswered quest-"

"Ah, ah! Zip it."

"...Yes, sir."

Tony sighed again, wondering how on Earth he was going to stay alive for the next forty years when his two 'house guests' were wearing wrinkles into his face faster than should be physically possible when put under stress.

"They are going to be the death of me...I swear. Death."

He stared up at the ceiling, crossing his hands over his stomach as he was hit with a nauseating sense of déja vu.

"...May I speak now, sir?" JARVIS suddenly asked.

Sighing yet again, Tony answered,

"Yeah. Sure, JARVIS."

"If you don't mind my saying, sir, I believe it would be vital to keep good relations with the demigod Loki. Nerve scans indicate that he has been very unsettled and overly stressed as of late, and it would not be wise to upset him any further than miss Potts is already capable of managing-"

"JARVIS? Could you put that in a folder and entitle it 'Shit I Already Know'?"

"Of course, sir."

"Great."

Tony clapped his hands and the lights went out, and eventually he fell into a dreamless sleep.


09/03/2014

I updated this chapter, added some things and took some away, hopefully for the better. But I'll let you be the judge of that. The rap song Tony was referencing was Love The Way You Lie, by Eminem. I also hope I got Pepper's eye color right. I remember them being blue, but I could be wrong. If you spotted any typos, tell me so I can fix them.


A/N: Well, there it is. I hope you liked it. I'll try and update again, SOONER this time, but I am rather busy this week :P

Up next is: What they do when they're away from each other.

Also, I've got a really funny/cute idea for a PepperxThor (SpiceHammer...?) fic, and I think I'll be writing and posting it soon. I like that pairing, but the idea I have in mind is really more funny than romantic, so check back at my profile often over the next few days if you'd like, I'd really appreciate hearing what you think of it, good or bad :)

'Til next time!