He sat on the floor, his body leaning against his front door. What had just happened? He had had a plan. He had thought this through. Had he been so blinded by his own feelings that he had, subconsciously, transferred them onto her? Was he so desperate for her love that he read all the signs wrong? Had there been any signs except the ones in his head? Somehow his only thought had been of him telling her every repressed emotion and of every glance he had tried to hide for the past three years. Never had he thought about her not loving him back. He felt sick to his stomach. When he had first met her he had made himself a promise not to get in too deep. But when he was with her he, a man who barely chuckled the best of times, always laughed too hard and he just knew he was screwed.

His mind went back to his original plan. Waiting. Wait until she was older. Wait until she had really established herself. Wait until she had the same experiences as he had. But these past few months had made him realize, made him think, that this was something they both wanted. That he was what she wanted.

Her hand lingering on his arm, that smile that she only showed him, her hair tickling the side of his face when she leaned in just a bit closer than she was used to. At those times he could almost taste her. Why hadn't he?

He was a fool. He hadn't really told her. He hadn't been brave. He hadn't been anything. He had told her things he thought she wanted to hear, without telling her that he was talking about her. He had sabotaged himself. Maybe she didn't understand. Maybe this was a misunderstanding. But that was just wishful thinking. He had made it abundantly clear that she was it for him. And she still was, even though he may not be it for her.

This wouldn't do. He needed her by his side, in any capacity that she saw fit. He had to talk to her. He had to set aside the flood of emotions that threatened to drown him every time her lips would say his name.

He was her friend. That's where all of this started. He would talk to her, tomorrow. She needed time. And like always he wanted to give her everything she needed.

Knocking.

Just give me a minute. I'm almost ready. She tousled her hair a bit and made sure her face was presentable. She didn't need people to see tear stroked cheeks.

Knocking.

I said … Val.

Hey. He stood outside her dressing room. He looked like he hadn't slept at all.

Silence.

Can I come in? I just wanted to see how you were doing. You seemed a bit upset when you… Left yesterday.

A bit.

Left.

Her cheeks turned red as embarrassment seeped through her body. She really wasn't ready for this. I really should apologize for that, shouldn't I? Acting like some brat, just because my friend might not have time for me anymore.

Silence. Hope.

Is that what you think? Was this how she really felt? How… Did she want him?

I know it doesn't make any sense. You have a girlfriend. You're in love. It doesn't mean th…

With you he only managed to whisper.

What?

I'm in love with you. You really didn't get that? I mean... Some part of me hoped that was the case but the rational part of me never dreamed of this conversation actually taking this turn. I came here to apologize and…

STOP. She was assertive. This was hers. Now you stop. All those things you said to me were about me? I thought... Maybe… She couldn't go on.

You thought they were about someone else?

I just don't understand. How is this actually happening? I've wanted this.

I've wanted you.

Silence

Can we?

Is there any reason we can't?

Her face lit up. Her eyes shimmered, like fireworks were reflecting in them. No, there truly isn't.

And then it happened. It wasn't how they'd imagined. It wasn't an animalistic kiss or hot or passionate beyond belief.

It was soft. And sweet. And warm. Their bodies melting into each other like they never had before. It was like coming home. It didn't represent their built up emotions or their journey up to this point. It stood for the road ahead. And it was laid with memories of a friendship and the future of lovers.

They spent the next few days getting to know each other, in every way imaginable. And at night, when they were impossible tired, they just laid in bed, looking into each other's eyes. You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.