So an incredibly boring day at work and a flash of inspiration has given this story a potential plot! WOO.
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Zim was displeased to discover that Dib was a squirmer. The human simply could not sit still for more than three seconds. Between Dib's constant attempts to flail in a confined space and Gir's epic rendition of The Doom Song II Zim was ready to admit his already questionable sanity had taken a bid for freedom and disappeared entirely. He rather wished he could follow.
Luckily their first stop was not the Massive, which was still years of travel away. Zim figured with a few essential upgrades the Voot Cruiser could be made more comfortable and faster all in one go. All he needed was the technology, a little bit of time, and as much as he hated to admit it, a Vortian. Like the rest of his race, he held little love for the tiny creatures, though their technological skills were unrivaled. The entire race was marked as cowards and deserters, their lack of physical prowess long ago having lent them towards subterfuge. It had failed miserably against the sheer masses of Irkens that had easily overrun and enslaved them.
He set their course very carefully pointed towards the Massive, but also flying through space that had been the last known location of the Resisty.
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Dib was BORED. In all caps, and preferably with a few extra underlines and exclamation points to go along with it. He was long past any mental unrest from having been squashed against his former rival and was pretty sure he was ready to drape himself over the alien's lap if it just let him stretch his legs out for a bit. Zim, for all intents and purposes, seemed to have forgotten he was even there and instead spent all of his time poking buttons and giving the Voot Cruiser incomprehensible instructions.
Dib was seriously considering joining Gir for a round of singing when the most obnoxious beeping filled the small cabin space. Dib perked up immediately, recognizing the noise as an incoming transmission.
"Who is it? Whats going on? Are you going to answer it or what?"
Zim gave him a rather dry look and, ignoring the explosion of questions, opened up communications with the other vessel.
"What is it!? What do you want from the ALMIGHTY ZIM?"
Dib gaped. The instant Zim had opened communications his entire demeanor had changed completely. He was now poised forward on the seat, back rigid, and one of his antenna had started to twitch very slightly. He had gone from cool and collected to nothing short of spastic terror in less than a heartbeat. Dib was so surprised his string of questions fizzled to a halt and he was left watching the exchange in silence.
An unattractive face appeared on the screen in front of Zim. The gray alien had two massive horns sprouting from his forehead that curled around behind his head and a pointy little sneer that managed to look even sharper than Zim's. He wore goggles and vague forms behind him implied the ship he was in was much much larger than the Voot Cruiser. The horned alien gave Zim a rather contemptuous look and spoke in a gravelly voice.
"Irken Invader! You are hereby taken hostage by THE RESISTY! If you try to resist-
"You'll NEVER TAKE ZIM ALIVE!"
"If you try to resist we will-
"NEVERRRRR."
"IF YOU TRY TO RESIST WE WILL BE FORCE-
"NEVAAAAAAAAAAAR!"
"!"
"GIR, FIRE"
Dib stared in horror as the conversation grew louder and increasingly more likely to get him killed. He glanced up at Gir in panic to see the little robot calmly picking glue off his forehead.
"This little piggy went to market!" A glob of dried glue fell from his metallic fingers, "This little piggy ran aaaaaaaaaall the way home!" Another glob followed the first. Gir stared at them, oblivious to the attention now paid to him by three sets of eyes, and started stomping on the bits of glue that sat on the floor. "Fire FIRE PEW PEW PEEEEW."
"Pik, lock them in the tractor beam and force them to dock." There was a muffled "Yes, captain!" and Dib felt the Voot Cruiser lurch unnervingly.
"What the HELL is wrong with you, Zim!?" Zim merely snorted and sat back to wait for them to be taken prisoner. Now that the call had ended he was back to his calm and composed self.
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Pik was damn near ecstatic. He skipped down the corridors of the ship with a cheerful demeanor that unnerved every single one of the crew members that witnessed his uncharacteristic glee. He couldn't help it. He knew exactly who was holed up in their brig and he had every intention of taking advantage of such a perfect situation.
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Dib was glaring at Zim resentfully. It had been a blissful, if terrifying, thirty seconds when he had been allowed to stretch his legs and actually walk down the hallway of the strange vessel they found themselves on. It was a very short thirty seconds, however, and Dib found himself scrunched up against Zim all over again. Only this time there were no windows. Dib was Not Amused.
"Get your elbow out of my face, Dib-monkey." Zim had remained tight lipped and infuriating the entire 'being abducted' process. Except for one instance where he informed Gir that the Angry Monkey show was on (consequently turning the little robot feral, if that is at all possible, and shooting through the hallways with three security guards and a stressed out looking communications officer trailing behind) the Irken hadn't spoken an entire word until Dib took desperate measures with his elbow.
"What the hell did you think you were doing? Now we're stuck prisoners on some ship in the middle of nowhere with no way out and they don't seem very FRIENDLY, Zim! WHY ARE WE ON AN UNFRIENDLY SHIP ZIM?!"
Zim, very casually, forced Dib's elbow back to his side and addressed the little gray alien on the other side of their prison door.
"Hello, Vortian scum." Dib immediately quieted and spun around to stare at the new alien. It was short and gray skinned like the captain. The enormous horns on its forehead protruded forward, unlike the uglier captain, and curled back around behind its head near the tip. It glared at Zim before smiling the kind of nasty little grin jailers everywhere adopt to irritate prisoners. Dib couldn't tell if it was male or female, its features were too alien and androgynous.
"Invader Zim," Dibs eyes widened and he glanced towards his green counterpart, Zim suddenly looked quite ruffled to be addressed by name, "I've been wanting to have a little chat with you, and here you went and dumped yourself right into my lap."
Zim sneered in a way that may have been threatening if his knees weren't shoved up to his chin and his elbows pinned to his sides due to the confining prison. "Who are you?"
The Vortians grin widened and it leaned casually against the wall near the prison's door. It made a show of inspecting its delicate little claws in a universally renouned gesture of feigned boredom. "That depends, Zim dear. I can be the enemy... or I could be a friend."
Zim struggled to stand in the confined space and managed to knee Dib in the head twice and stand on his hand once. Even when he managed to stand he had to stoop due to the low ceiling of their ridiculously small holding cell. He glared at the ridiculously pompous little Vortian and spat, "What do you want!? You will release Zim THIS INSTANT."
The Vortian laughed and quirked its head to the side. "I'm just wondering... What are your feelings towards the Tallest? The enemy of mine enemy is my friend, correct? They have shown you no love in the past."
Dib's eyes widened and he glanced between the two aliens from his cramped little position on the floor. He remembered the Tallest were Zim's rulers, but he also knew the Invader hadn't mentioned them in several years. Hadn't he always swore they would come in the past? He'd never appeared displeased with them, though, just eager to please.
"The Tallest left me to ROT on Food Courtia, then stranded me on some PITIFUL dirtball in the middle of NOWHERE."
Dib frowned, "HEY!" but they both ignored him.
The Vortian grinned wider still, showing an impressive array of pointed white teeth. He extended his hand through the bars of the cell, "My name is Pik, Friend. Lets get you out of this cell, shall we?"
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HOLY GOD I introduced an OC! RUN, RUN FOR THE HILLS. This is actually my first Invader OC ever and I made a vortian. What the hell.
Pik is probably going to be around for a while, but don't worry. Dib and Zim are still the main duo.
Also reviews. They're nice, right? I like them a lot. PLEASE GIVE ME MORE PLEASE!
