Long chapter with hints of Yaoi and Het. Nothing Explicit. Lots of Angst and more Character Death.
After hearing of Yuffie's death, Cloud didn't bother to listen for anything else; he just dropped the radio and walked away.
It made sense to him why Wutai would be eliminated first. Wutai had supplied every holdout they could reach with fresh water and medical supplies. The new generation, those who were children during the Wutai-Shinra war, were now strong soldiers. Most of the time, it seemed like Wutai was the only place capable of holding out in the long run. The lack of mako reactors made the area clean from much of the taint, plus the ocean offered an undeniable defense. If all of the AVALANCHE run camps had converged at Wutai, they could have actually stood a chance at outlasting.
Wipe out the safe haven, and crush the hope.
Unfortunately, Yuffie wasn't the kind of woman to back down and neither were her people. They must have been wiped out completely as they tried to hold off the tide of monsters. Vincent surviving was no surprise either; the man had an uncanny knack for such things, just like Cloud. He felt a deep sympathy for the man as he realized that Vincent had just lost the second love of his life. Cloud knew that feeling well, and it wasn't one he'd wish on anyone.
The next few weeks passed agonizingly slowly. The surviving few had managed to create a large communal tent with the fabric left over from the individual tents. Runners from Edge came often and generally took at least one life in each attack. The experienced soldiers had almost all died off and those left were the younger boys. Many of those deaths came with a suicide following as someone gave up after losing their last loved one. In no time at all, they went from just over thirty to under two dozen.
Beyond that, each new day came with word of a new attack elsewhere in the world. The plans to have the Highwind come and get them were cut short as Rocket Town fell completely. Cid got pulled out of the sky by a swarm of flying monsters and the captain went down with his wife and ship. Barret's mining camp fell soon after and Tifa had to physically restrain Marlene when she heard the news. The poor girl had already lost so much in her short life and it was made all that much worse by the knowledge that the fallen men had been reanimated. Now her father's body would be left in Hojo's service.
Vincent disappeared into the ether but Cloud excused him for it. Something told him that he could be found at Lucrecia's cave; most likely waiting for the end. Nanaki was wiped out in the latest attack on Cosmo Canyon. Reeve and the remaining members of the WRO were the last to fall when Costa Del Sol, where they had been holed up, got overrun. The radio was dead silent from then on.
"We need to do something, Cloud. This can't go on. We're going to starve," Tifa insisted with her hands on her hips.
Cloud kept his eyes fixed on Midgar as she begged him to take action again. There had been a lot of this lately, and Cloud didn't know what to tell her anymore. There was nothing he could do to change the way things were happening. It wasn't like he could swim to the Western Continent and charge Nibelheim. At least he assumed Hojo was still based in Nibelheim, given it had been the first place to fall.
"You just don't care anymore… Do you?" she asked when he didn't bother responding.
"Not really." He didn't see any point in lying.
With an angry noise, she flopped down next to him and set her own eyes on Midgar. He looked at her and wasn't surprised to see the frustration etched on her face. He was surprised, though, to notice how much this war had aged her. Tifa had been so youthful, so beautiful, at one time, and now there were lines creeping in and her skin looked somewhat weathered from the harsh conditions. Cloud knew he hadn't aged a single day since his body had caught up with his years in the labs. The Jenova cells and mako caused the body to stop aging when it reached its peak, because from that point forward all decay was healed instantly. Stuck at twenty one for the rest of his life; he supposed there were worst things that could happen.
Cloud vaguely wished he could do something to settle her worries. He was no well of comfort and support these days. Hell, he never had been, but that didn't mean he was heartless or immune to their suffering. The prospect of watching the last two people he had left wither away terrified him at the core. Things weren't shaping up to be a gentle end either.
"The church, Cloud," Aeris whispered as softly as the wind through trees.
To untrained ears, it would have sounded like a suggestion, but Cloud knew it was bordering on an order. He smiled a little. He always loved it when Aeris gave commands like that; Zack had liked it too.
"Pack up everyone," he said softly and Tifa looked at him in confusion. "We're going to head for the Sector 5 church."
"The church? Why there?"
"The makonoids can't enter. The Lifestream is too heavily concentrated there since the death of the remnants. Plus, there's fresh water." Cloud could tell she was hoping for a stronger point but she agreed anyway. He supposed she figured it was progress of some kind.
Apparently, the promise of any form of change was enough to get the people motivated for the move. It was agreed almost instantly that the move would occur the next day, so everyone chipped into make things happen quickly. The stray items were all packed in hours and all that remained was to take the tent down in the morning when they prepared to set out.
Yet, despite the enthusiasm, Cloud spent the whole night listening to restless sleepers and those who couldn't manage to drift off. If Cloud thought it would have done any good, he would have told them to get some rest before the journey. The trek to Midgar wouldn't be long, but they would have to circumvent Edge all together and that added time to the trip. He was expecting a two day trip at best, and that would take a toll on the weaker folks.
It was only because of immense willpower, that his legs weren't twitching with restless energy. Bored beyond compare, he remained in a sleeplike trance mostly for the benefit of others. Sleep was something Cloud had given up a long time ago. When he did manage to reach unconsciousness, he was plagued with dreams and nightmares and it wasn't even clear which was worse. There were times he'd much rather have nightmares of Nibelheim burning again than to dream of Aeris in a flowing wedding dress. The mako inside him kept him going nonstop anyway, so sleep was just an option to pass time.
As soon as the sun peeked over the horizon, Cloud was out of bed. He walked out of the tent and stood a good distance away to think in silence.
Cloud wasn't sure exactly what Aeris was planning, but he had a few guesses. Moving the remaining people to a fallen city didn't have many good endings. Nevertheless, he trusted her judgment; there wasn't much else he could do as of late. It was obvious that he had none of the answers anymore, so maybe Aeris could provide what he lacked. If nothing else, he knew Aeris would never lead them to suffering. She was far too good for that.
Suddenly, he missed Rufus and Reno. The other Turks had never held much importance to him, but those two were an infectious type of tenacious. Reno, the slum kid who rose through the ranks to become second in command of the Turks, and Rufus, the 'pretty' boy who got to rule the world. Geostigma had formed a unique bond between the three of them. Cloud and Reno spent many nights trying to drink past the mako in their systems, in vain mind you, while comparing lives. Surprisingly enough, they had a lot in common personality wise. Just two jaded murderers waiting to die. Rufus had been different. He clearly wasn't ready to give up yet; not that Reno would have let him.
Rufus had become fond of engaging Cloud in intellectual conversations after he'd taken to drinking at Healen to avoid Tifa. Sometimes he wondered if the alcohol worked even without his notice, because sometimes he enjoyed the company. Reno had always been happy to sit back in silence and just watch Rufus talk.
After the stigma had been cured, Cloud had continued spending time with the odd duo because it had become a comfortable routine. They never expected anything of him, and he didn't have to like them to prefer them to the alternatives. Naturally, Rufus tried to recruit him back to the reforming Shinra on a daily basis. Cloud refused every time, but that didn't mean he interfered either though. Cloud was never one to do much caring about the motives of Shinra so long as the Planet was in no danger. It was the reason he always claimed to be in it for the money concerning AVALANCHE, because it was the truth at first. Although, he did give Rufus a particularly violent lecture on avoiding mako usage. Oddly enough, he had a sneaking suspicion the twisted bastard had enjoyed it. All the same, no new reactors were built.
Instead, Rufus bought out Barret's oil field. The Shinra-hating man had surprisingly caved in without much fight. Rufus eventually told Cloud how much money the deal involved and it made a little more sense. Barret was very adamant that Marlene be taken care of for the rest of her life, but Cloud still had a feeling that he felt dirty after accepting the offer. He also had a hunch that Rufus used Cloud's non-action as leverage.
Cloud was at Healen the day the swarm invaded. Reno had given him a distressed call and, with how panicked the normally self-assured man sounded, Cloud raced out there. When he arrived, Reno was slumped against a wall with a blank expression on his face. The whole place had been turned upside down and the other Turks were all dead. Blood coated every surface as it appeared they had been mutilated. Reno looked almost unharmed save a few small cuts that continued to shrink in size, but Cloud had always known he healed as fast as a SOLDIER or better.
"They took him… They fuckin' took him and I couldn' do a damn thing."
Rufus was nowhere to be found and Cloud didn't manage to get a straight answer out of Reno before Tifa had called him and informed him of what was happening in Edge. He made the choice to leave and he never saw Reno again.
By the time he had returned to Healen, when the survivors had been settled, a pile of ashes was all that remained of the place the Turks had called home for years. It appeared that Reno had gone after who had taken Rufus. Cloud wondered why Reno had burnt the bodies, as there were no graves, but it all made sense later when the reanimated corpses began to appear.
Cloud raised a hand and rubbed at his chest absentmindedly. Reanimating the dead was nothing new for Hojo. Cloud himself had been brought back after the Nibelheim incident, and Vincent had gone through similar. The only difference was these new ones were dead too long to retain brain function; they weren't meant for anything more than fodder.
Behind him, he could hear the camp begin to stir with life and the urge to get this over with became overwhelming.
In little over an hour, the camp was up and bustling. The stronger men were taking down the tent and rolling it up tight to help carry it while the mothers made sure that the children all had shoes or cloth to cover their feet. Tifa and Marlene tended to the older folks.
The excitement reached its peak as they set off on foot towards the collapsed 'floating' city. The early pace was helped by this feeling and they managed to cover a solid amount of ground before the sun began to set. Cloud was pleased to see no threats waiting on the northern side of Edge. At nightfall, camp was rebuilt in the small canyon where they stopped. By this point, those not accustomed to hard travel were exhausted; the children whined about blisters and the adults ate like ravenous wolves. But, even still, morale was still at an all-time high since the invasion. Tifa smiled and told jokes that left everyone roaring with laughter. Cloud vaguely wondered if she had an endless supply of these jokes or if people were so desperate for a laugh that they continued to find the old ones funny.
Cloud decided to stand guard all night given the new and unsecured location. The Kalm fangs were howling close by and they no longer had the protection of higher ground. Out of boredom, he half hoped something would attack just so he could burn some energy. Unfortunately, or perhaps the opposite, nothing decided to visit them in the night. Morning brought sore bodies and pained moans. Given this, the camp was noticeably slower to prepare to set out this time, but they were moving again without much delay.
Reaching the outskirts of Midgar was bittersweet as they were faced with the ruined Sector 7. Tifa and Marlene clenched their fists at the sight and tried to keep silent. He figured it was for the benefit of the others more than anything else. They had to travel south for a few more hours to enter Sector 5. The entering, of course, was not so simple. With no energy, the old way to enter the Midgar slums was not an option. Cloud knew an easy path around but it took precious time.
Carefully, Cloud directed everyone down the treacherous path into the ruined slums. Every now and then, he had to stop to help someone down further, but for the most part people followed at their own pace. Marlene took charge of keeping the children safe as they descended. While there was some fear that there would be monsters blocking their way, the area was dead silent. Cloud found this more than a little odd and made a point to remember to do some searching later. Still, the sight of the fallen city inspired no hope in people and the murmurs of doubt in the group began to grow louder as they remembered how desolate the area really was.
Arriving at the church didn't brighten spirits much either. Certainly, it was plenty large enough, and the water was still fresh, but it was exceedingly run down. The holes in the roof, including the one courtesy of Cloud himself, exposed them to the elements. Aside from that, whatever salvation the people had worked up to believing would be here just wasn't.
Taking over damage control, Tifa assured everyone that the holes would be repaired and that at least they were safe there. She gave him a pointed look that told him the repairs would be his job since he had brought them this far on what seemed like a whim. The confused but momentarily satisfied survivors began to settle in for the night. Cloud was grateful that, due to either the long journey or the calm of the church, everyone slept soundly; he wanted some alone time.
Quietly, he climbed to the roof of the church and took a seat. The boards were old and creaked dangerously, but he chose to tempt the fates a bit and remain sitting. He'd fallen through this roof once; doing so again wouldn't be all that bad. Although it may kill a few people from heart attacks.
A small voice in the back of his head told him that he had actually fallen through the roof twice. Cloud shook his head to dispel the false memories.
"You know…"
Cloud fought back the urge to bite out a curse at being caught. Zack always managed to catch him. Sometimes he figured that his friend did nothing else with his time but watch over Cloud.
"I don't mind when you relive my memories. Means I'm not forgotten and that I really existed at some point. Been dead so long that sometimes even I forget being alive."
"It's the exact opposite, Zack. Me having your memories… It means I did forget you. I tried to step into your shoes and replace all of my lackluster life with yours."
"You really think so? Hmm… Nah, I think it's more that we became one person. Like a Super-Zack-Cloud hybrid. My charm and your devilishly good looks."
Cloud rolled his eyes at the absurdity of it.
"We had the double whammy, right?"
Zack fell silent for a moment and Cloud just stared off into the distance.
"I kinda miss it, y'know?"
With the surge of emotions, Cloud pressed the heel of his palm to the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. Zack always chose the worst moments to do this.
"What's there to miss?"
"Being that singular person. Okay, maybe I was dead and you were alive, but it meant I could still be there to take care of you. It made me feel important to know when you couldn't handle being you that you still turned to me for strength. Plus, it was as close as I was gonna get to being alive again."
Cloud found it hard to agree, but even he knew he was just needlessly punishing himself. Zack had often mentioned how much he enjoyed the experience of being part of Cloud's personality, but Cloud still found himself deeply ashamed.
"Now you don't ever call out to me. Once Tifa helped sort out your memories, it wasn't long till you pushed that tiny fragment of my soul out of your body. Sure, you let me in when I push the issue but it's not like before. Before… Our souls got to actually be one. These days you keep me as far away from the deepest part of yourself as possible. What did I do wrong, Cloud?"
Cloud grit his teeth and looked down as though Zack was there to try to meet his eyes. He felt guilty, because Zack had never been the one to let him down. It was always the other way around, but Zack naturally seemed to assume more burden than he was due. Maybe they had that in common.
"Wrong? Zack you never did anything wrong. It was me who fucked it all up. After I found myself… You wouldn't want to merge our souls now. It'd ruin you."
"Sorry, but I don't believe that. I'm no sparkling clean angel either, Cloud."
"I got you killed. I got everyone killed." Zack sighed and Cloud felt his presence settle in close. The warmth began to ghost over his skin where he assumed Zack was touching.
"Dying to save you? Best thing I ever did. It's the one thing I don't regret in the least. The only thing."
"Why? You could have done so much more for the world, Zack. I'm just a SOLDIER-wannabe and a failed experim—"
"Don't you EVER call yourself that! You're so much fucking more than that, Cloud. Don't define yourself by the things that monster did to you. Maybe you never made SOLDIER, but look at all the things you did without the title. You saved the whole goddamn world, Cloud."
He let out a pathetic laugh and hung his head. His shoulders hunched as he curled in on himself. Zack hated hearing Cloud call himself an experiment, but it didn't change the truth. If it wasn't for him, Sephiroth would have never gotten the Black Materia in the first place. Meteor was entirely Cloud's fault for failing to fight off Jenova's influence.
"Saved the world? How does that count when I'm the one who doomed it? In the end, I killed Sephiroth for revenge. There was nothing more in the world that I wanted than to be swallowed up by Meteor and join the planet. Aeris gave her life to fix my mistakes."
"Seph would have gotten that damn black rock even if you hadn't handed it over. Think about it, when Jenova called him… He went willingly and forsook his friends and humanity. But you, Cloud… You fought against it. You beat her and withstood her manipulation. Don't hold the fact that she had you snared for a while against yourself. That's what Hojo wanted from the get-go. You just managed to escape her hold. Besides, Aeris knew what she was doing, Cloud. She gave her life to save yours."
"The planet's life, maybe."
"…Cloud… You'll never even fathom how much we love you."
Cloud's lips curled into a pained snarl and he desperately grabbed at the chains around his neck again. His hand clenched around them as tightly as he could manage without harming the items; they were like his lifeline. He hated when they told him that they loved him because it felt like his heart was being carved out all over again. Rain and gunshots; last smiles and blood soaked pink. Zack must have noticed how it affected him as Cloud felt his presence move into his body completely and all of his limbs gained that sleepy warmth.
"Shh… Shh… It's gonna be okay, Cloud," Zack said in a choked whisper.
Cloud had figured out a long time ago that Zack always cried when Cloud felt like doing so himself. It was clear why: Cloud couldn't cry no matter how badly something tore at his soul. At some point, Hojo had altered or removed his tear ducts. His eyes never dried out, but never watered either. Zack seemed to see this as a great loss and responded by crying Cloud's tears for him.
"How much longer, Zack?"
"Soon, Spike, soon… Everything's gonna be okay soon. We'll be together—," his voice gave out at the end. "Together soon. Even if… Gods, Cloud. Even if you hate us for it."
"I could… never hate you, Zack."
Zack laughed sadly and Cloud imagined him shaking his head, those long spikes bouncing all over. Just the thought made his heart long to be in the Lifestream alongside Zack.
"No promises you can't keep, Cloud."
Something about Zack's soul being in his body made Cloud tired. The feeling of being completely safe lulled him into a deep sleep for the first time in over a year.
He dreamed in green at first and he feared that it was going to be another one about the mako tubes in the labs, but slowly the green receded to leave him lying on his back in a field of flowers: Aeris' lilies. His eyes shut for a moment and he felt a hand slip into his hair. When Cloud opened his eyes, she was staring down at him with a soft smile. Temporarily free of his earthly worries, he responded in kind. She giggled and it echoed around them. A hand draped over his waist and he tilted his head to find Zack cozying up to his side. He laid his head down on Cloud's shoulder like an affectionate dog. Cloud lifted his arm and ruffled Zack's spiked hair, in a motion not unlike the other man had once done to him, and just Zack closed his eyes appreciatively.
He wanted to talk to the both of them, but his throat just wouldn't work. For some reason, Cloud had never been able to speak while in the Lifestream. It was a sad fact, because it was the only time he felt like he could honestly spill all of his problems to them and be healed. His entire body felt heavy and, despite knowing he was dreaming already, he felt drowsy. Eventually, he gave up trying to move around and just settled back down in the flowers and let the two more or less cuddle with him. It was an infrequent treat to be allowed this surreal meeting.
Aeris decided to lie at his other side and draped one of her own arms over his waist as well. They trapped him in between them; not that he would complain. She pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips and he tried to turn his head to kiss her more properly but Zack's nuzzling at his neck kept him from moving much.
A part of him felt strange and out of place. Cloud had figured the two would rekindle their old romance since they were able to spend so much time together, and sometimes he got a feeling that they in fact had but never really acted on it with him around. When Cloud was with them, they acted like he was the only thing in existence. His more self-loathing side told him that it was selfish to enjoy the attention since it was his fault they died at all, as he had come between them, but the more logical side knew that they had both loved him despite his doubts and fears.
He and Aeris had fallen in love so hard, and he and Zack never had much of a choice. The time in the laboratories had forced them together in ways that would have never happened otherwise. Zack had always been strictly interested in women before years of isolation and heightened mako levels had lowered his standards enough for him to accept Cloud's younger self. Somehow, Zack had convinced himself that the relationship was based on love. That wasn't to say that Cloud didn't truly love him; but Cloud was skeptical that the relationship would have lasted once they reached Midgar. Didn't help that codependency manifested in Zack, from the actions he'd taken to protect Cloud from the experiments, and Cloud was nothing if not dependent at the time. The mako poisoning left him completely reliant on Zack for all basic care.
Zack would hear none of it though. He was very adamant that what he felt for Cloud was genuine, and a piece of Cloud was happy enough to accept that as an answer for the time being.
They stayed like that for what felt like days, but, no matter what Cloud would have preferred, it all had to come to an end. The first light of dawn woke Cloud instantly.
It was a little jarring to go from the dream to reality with so little time between but his instincts kicked in and got him on his feet. Fully awake in moments, he decided to check out the area for monsters that may have come closer in the night. However, an hour long search later, Cloud was perplexed to see no more activity than had been there yesterday. Midgar had once been crawling with monsters that moved into the ruined city; now there was no sign of any life nearby. It was all very suspicious, but there wasn't much he could do about it now, so he returned to the church.
By the time he arrived back, the people were beginning to wake. They collaborated to get some breakfast cooked while Cloud set to repairing the roof. It was mindless work that yielded some ugly but functional coverage. He was capable of doing better, and had proved it when they built Seventh Heaven in Edge, but even Cloud Strife could be lazy from time to time.
Below, Tifa surveyed the food rations and was worried to see how little they actually had. What they had left would never last more than a month and Midgar looked frighteningly empty of any sort of rations. Strangely, no one had mentioned being hungry after the long journey last night and everyone was professing to only be lightly hungry today. Taking to be a blessing in disguise, she put it out of her mind. After all, she was sure they'd find some more food soon enough.
That's how it continued for the next few weeks. The food dwindled, as nothing edible could be found anywhere, but people ate less and less without suffering. Some joked they were being sustained by the water from the blessed pool alone and there were accusations that people were getting fat from it too. No matter how little people ate, they never seemed to be in any sort of discomfort.
Cloud watched from the sidelines and was not surprised to find his initial suspicions correct. He now knew exactly why Aeris led them here. Aeris brought them here to let them die in peace. This was in every sense a mercy killing, and Cloud was okay with that. Things must have been worse off than even he'd known for Aeris to make such a call though. He could see the emaciated bodies of the surviving few, but it seemed they could not. Each day, the people grew thinner and thinner. They were starving to death slowly, but appeared to feel none of the side effects. His only hope was that they would be spared the ill effects for the remainder of their lives.
And they were as it started with the older members. One day, two just didn't wake up. They had been an old married couple and they died in their sleep, arm in arm, with smiles on their faces. Everyone found this touching, but Cloud could see the horror lurking in Tifa's expression. He knew she had to have her own suspicions.
The next death came just a day later; another elder. A few more days and the last of the elderly were dead.
The feeling of calm in the church kept people from panicking. It was as though all the worries had evaporated for most, and even Marlene was filled with the serene joy. It didn't keep Tifa from pushing the last of her food onto Marlene's plate when she wasn't looking. She was far too strong-willed to be fooled, however sad that may be.
And Cloud just watched.
The men started to go after that. The mothers and children praised the fact that their suffering was over, because now they would never have to fight another day. Talk of soon joining the 'others' in the afterlife began to circle; Tifa tried her best to shelter the children from it. Nevertheless, the realization spread like a warm blanket over the remaining few and no one was bothered.
Tifa wasn't doing well with what was going on though, and Cloud watched her once curvaceous form shrink to no more than a skeleton clothed in skin. She was more frightened by the changes she saw in people than comforted by their acceptance and joy at the prospect of final rest. One night, she cornered him and begged him to get her and Marlene out of there. Out of respect for her, he even contemplated agreeing for a while, but she was already far too gone to even consider traveling. The only thing keeping the people from feeling the starvation was the power of the church, and stepping outside those doors would leave her in pain. Cloud had come to realize that Tifa couldn't even see the changes in herself and the others; she'd become aware only through clever guesses.
"Cloud, please. I don't know why you brought us here, but Marlene and I are going to die here. We need to leave. Please, Cloud. P-please!"
He felt his face go blank and shrugged lightly before responding, "I don't know what you're talking about. Everyone seems happy here." Against his better judgment, Cloud forced a comforting smile on his face and she just backed away in disbelief. Her face would never leave his memory: tear stained and completely devoid of understanding. She ran to the back of the church and remained there for hours crying.
Not long after, the mothers died and then the children died. Marlene acted as though they were all still there, and Tifa withered by the day. With no one left, they had more to eat but Marlene often complained of being 'too full' to eat anymore. It was some small mercy that Marlene did not die in her sleep, but only for Tifa's sake, as Cloud didn't think she would be able to handle not getting a chance to say goodbye. When the moment finally came, she still wasn't ready.
"It's okay, Tifa. I'm going to see Aeris, and we'll all be together soon. You, me, Cloud, Daddy, Denzel, and all our friends. Maybe… Maybe I'll even get to meet my mom," she breathed with so much wonder in her voice. Her gentle eyes passed across both of their faces before staring up at the sky and going dull.
"No. N-no. NO. MARLENE! Honey! Honey, please wake up. Don't… Please don't leave me!"
Cloud wrapped a hand around her bicep as softly as possible, it felt like hollow glass in his grip, and tugged gently to pull her into his arms. She gripped at his shirt and sobbed against his shoulder. He watched sadly as Marlene dissolved into beautiful green wisps. The little girl he'd come to love took a piece of his already broken heart with her. The wisps rose and swirled around them in a final goodbye for a moment before vanishing.
Furiously, Tifa beat against his chest with her fists, but she didn't even have the strength to make a mark. "WHY? Why did you bring us here?! We were doing fine. Oh Gods… We w-were d-doing FINE," she screamed through the tears. Cloud didn't even know what to tell her anymore. There was no denying he knew exactly what he was doing when he brought them to the church.
"I think… I can answer that, Tifa."
They turned and there, crouching by the pool with her hand toying with the water's surface, was Aeris.
Tifa stood stock still and couldn't utter a word. She frantically looked at her hands as though she was going to die any minute as well. Aeris smiled and came close to them. She cupped Tifa's face in her hands and pet her cheek affectionately.
Cloud's eyes were riveted to her glowing form as she began to speak, "Still so pretty. I was… So jealous over how pretty you were, Tifa. Please don't blame Cloud. I made him bring you all here."
"Whu—Why?"
"Because, the Planet is near its end now… I wanted to give you all peace. I thought you all deserved a chance to see your loved ones before it was all over."
"You mean… the Planet is going to die? After everything we did as AVALANCHE?"
Aeris had a sad expression on her face as she nodded. She looked away from them and closed her eyes. Cloud wished he could pull her into his arms too.
"Yes, and I'm not sure we can do anything to stop it… At least not now. It's too late for this world. But…"
"But what?! Is there still a chance? ANY chance? We'll do anything."
Aeris smiled softly but still wouldn't look at them. Abruptly, a sinking feeling formed in his gut that wouldn't dissipate. Something wasn't right about this.
"Yes, there is still a chance. But it involves a great sacrifice. And… I'm not sure how to ask."
Cloud's stomach began to clench tighter as Zack appeared behind her and fixed him with an apologetic stare. His hands instinctively tightened as though he was holding a sword and Tifa let out a small mew of pain. Instantly, he relaxed himself forcibly but it didn't quell his worries.
"Please tell us Aeris. We'll do whatever it takes, I promise." Aeris finally turned to look at them and touched Tifa's face again. Her smile was sadder than he had ever seen.
"I'm sorry… but this is a job only Cloud can do. You've done enough for the planet, Tifa. It's your time to rest."
Tifa's face screwed up with confusion and upset. "But… What? Why can't I help? What about Cloud's rest?" Aeris pulled her hand away as if burned and covered her own face. A small sob and Zack's arm around her shoulders told Cloud all he needed to know. He released Tifa and stepped back in disbelieving horror.
So no reprieve for him… Not after everything he had done and endured.
"We want nothing more than for Cloud to get to come to the Lifestream too, but he's the only one strong enough to handle saving the Planet. He's the only one who can do this, Tifa. Cloud… I'm so sorry," Zack all but begged him with his tone to forgive what was coming.
"Cloud…," Tifa whispered, turning to him. He raked a nervous hand through his hair and tried to focus on anything but the others with him. It didn't work as Tifa extended an arm to him. Against his better judgment, he looked and saw her fading away from the tips of her fingers and up her forearm. He barely resisted the urge to reach out and attempt to tug her back into reality; mostly out of fear his hand would go right through her. She looked down at her hand and fresh tears began to fall.
"Oh Cloud…," she sobbed as his eyes darted back and forth across the floor as if answers would appear written there.
"What… What do you need me to do?" he asked in a quiet voice that didn't hide his own upset.
"We need to send you through the Lifestream, but we can't offer many details."
Cloud barked out a frustrated laugh. "Well why not? How the hell am I supposed to fix something if I don't even know what it is I'm supposed to do? What's the sacrifice?"
"We can't offer you many details because we don't even know what will happen to you. All the planet can tell us is that it will all be on you. As far as we can tell, the sacrifice is your chance at peace with us. Believe us, Cloud; we tried to find any loophole possible."
"That's an awful lot of fucking pressure," he snarled more at himself than anything else. Still, they both smiled at him longingly as he fought back the desire to break the whole church to pieces in his anger.
"We believe in you."
"Cloud… You… You need to do this, Cloud. If the planet dies… Everyone in the Lifestream goes with it. Maybe… You can rest after it's done," Tifa breathed through sudden panting. She collapsed and Cloud barely managed to catch her before she hit the ground. She tried to lift a hand to touch his face but couldn't muster the strength, so he grabbed the hand that had not dissolved yet and pulled it up to kiss her palm.
He could do this right at least. This much he could do.
She smiled but tears still welled up in her eyes. "All I ever wanted… Was your love, Cloud. I'm so sorry I wasn't able to make… you happy," she whispered brokenly. He brushed the tears away with his thumb and pressed his forehead against hers. She felt so small. Cloud may have never felt for her what she wanted him to feel, but she was still all he had left. Tifa was the only one never to leave him.
"No, Tifa. I'm the one who's sorry. I wish I could have loved you. You deserved to be happy and all I brought you was sorrow," Cloud said softly as his voice could suddenly go no higher. She tried to shake her head, but could only manage a fraction of a movement. His hand caressed her hair gently to soothe her as best he could.
"It wasn't all bad… But… If you… Want to make it up… To me… Then save the planet. Please. It's my… last request. I… I love you, Cloud. Pro—Promise me, please?"
Hanging his head, he shut his eyes tight. How could he make a promise like that? The last time he made a promise that big, he had failed spectacularly. It was too much to ask…
"I—I don't think…"
When he finally opened his eyes, he found hers closed. Cloud looked from her serene face to her still chest desperately and he shook her gently in his arms but she didn't respond. The rest of her began to turn into green wisps and he just stared blankly as she dissolved completely in his arms. With all his agonizing over her last wish, he didn't even get to say good bye.
His arms felt too light without her in them. Cloud slammed his fist into the floorboards and they broke like matchsticks. He did it again, and again, and again; he kept hitting the floor until his hand was punching the dirt beneath the old church. The pain he wanted never came and in its place a tenuous resolve formed.
It could have been hours later when he looked up to meet Aeris and Zack's gazes. They wore twin masks of pity and both were crying for him.
Cloud was so sick of making people cry.
So he dropped his eyes back to the ruined ground and squared his shoulders as he asked, "What do I need to do?"
EDIT: Revised October 9, 2013. Minor structure changes and major description changes. No scenes added, many improved.
