Author's Thank You to: BlueFox of the Moon, Nusku, Kiminaru, Lal Mirch, ritachi, Aion Laven Walker, Freakingcage7, Ishikawa Yui, Nella is a Bumblebee, KinKitsune01, Crazy Little Feline, Jay-Jay51, sweetpotato1992, InfinityOnTheRun, Darkspider, ravenangel23, SakuraKissy, galerian57, whatthehellwasithinkin, Rika-chan 14, ShinigamixGirl, and everyone else for their favorites/alerts~!

pqpq

Cold, chilling rain fell from the darkening sky. Droplets like icy needles fell down, down, down upon the charred, black earth; upon the bleeding skin that lay bare beneath the torn tatters of his Exorcist uniform. Upon the pale lips of his lover who lay motionless before him. The lips Allen knew he would never kiss again.

"I'm sorry…" Allen murmured, touching Rabi's cheek. His gray eyes were dark with exhaustion, but mostly with grief and guilt. If only he had been faster; if only he could have stopped it, then Rabi wouldn't have…Allen's hand balled into a fist as hot tears ran down his face. It just wasn't fair. None of it was fair. All he had wanted was to live happily with Rabi. That was all he wanted and they had been so close…what was the point in winning the war when the person you fought for was now gone?

"Rabi…" he cried, leaning over Rabi to kiss his chilled forehead. His body was feeling heavy and Allen could only hope it meant that he would soon follow his lover to that other world. "I'll…be there soon…" Allen whispered, stroking Rabi's cheek. But his hand stopped moving, turning gray, stiff—like stone—consuming his arm in marble paralysis. "We'll…be together…like we promised…"His lips froze in place, the tears on his cheeks hardening in eternal sorrow as everything turned to black…

It was warm and soft; those were the first things Allen noticed when he began to float back into consciousness. He breathed in and out evenly, taking in the unfamiliar scent of the pillows and sheets around him. Unrecognizable, but reminiscent of something long past. It reminded Allen of crisp mountain air on a clear fall day, mingling in with something else that took him a moment to identify as paper. Paper and books on a cold mountain in autumn, spiced with honey and clover. That's what it was, Allen decided, his eyelashes fluttering open slowly into wakefulness. He felt warm and safe despite the fact he had no idea where he was, the darkened room just as confusing as the fleeting remains of the dream he could barely remember.

Sitting up, Allen winced, touching his bandaged chest. He didn't recall being hurt, but the stinging and aching in his body certainly clarified that he had been injured recently. The silver-haired boy leaned back against the handsome mahogany headboard with a sigh, looking down at his mismatched hands in questioning. His mind was like a dusty attic, with scattered pieces of memories missing, as if they had been caught in spider webs just out of reach. He rubbed his head, trying to remember something that could explain where he was and why he was there.

"Rabi," Allen said with surety. The redhead was a vibrant picture in his heart; someone he could never forget. He looked at the ring that adorned the ring finger on his human hand. "Rabi." Saying it again, the dream slowly came back to him: the end of the war, the final battle that had ended with…Allen gripped the bed sheets tightly, gritting his teeth. "No…" Rabi couldn't be dead—Allen choked at the mere prospect—and he knew this because he remembered something else, something a bit fuzzy but very there in his mind: Rabi standing before him in a white, round room…

Allen shook his head, his temples aching with stress. Had it all just been a dream? Was he back at the Order where his lover had been taking care of him all this time? Had Rabi gotten them the house on the beach that they had spoken about in secret, hoping whispers late at night? He pushed the blankets back, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, determined to find out what had happened while he was unconscious. And although he got out to a shaky start, Allen was able to walk across the darkened floor, only tripping once over a stack of books he didn't see by the door.

Opening said door, Allen blinked back the weak sunlight that spilled into the room via slatted blinds that hung over the windows. It was a small space, covered with bookcases that seemed to overflow with volumes and tomes. The floor reminded Allen of Komui's office: a sea of papers and folders that was parted in a narrow walkway so that a person could walk between rooms without stepping on something important. Used to such a mess, both in the eccentric Chinese supervisor's office and in Rabi's own bedroom, Allen easily navigated his way through the clutter toward the sofa in the middle of the room. Lying on the green cushions beneath a thick flannel blanket was…

"Rabi…" Allen breathed a sigh of relief, keeping his voice low so he didn't disturb his lover from slumber, as he looked exhausted. Leaning on the back of the couch, Allen simply stared at the redhead for a few moments, admiring him with a feeling of peace. They had both survived and that meant they could finally—finally—be together.

Quietly, Allen walked around the couch, crumpling a few papers on accident as he treaded between the coffee table and the sofa. But Rabi had always been a relatively heavy sleeper, so he didn't wake at the sound. Allen allowed himself to smile as he sat on the edge of the couch next to Rabi on the soft cushions. He slept just like always, on his back with his messy hair flopping all over the place in every direction. His long body was only more accentuated by how small the couch was, Rabi's feet dangling over the arm in his stretched-out position. Allen very gently reached out and touched Rabi's cheek, not wanting to wake him, but wanting to feel him, just to assure himself that this was real and that they were both there. Rabi didn't stir beneath his hand or show any indication that he felt the fingers moving softly through his hair, so Allen leaned over and pressed a tender kiss to his lover's forehead before standing up again. He was just about to switch positions to lie next to Rabi when something caught his eye, causing him to wander past the coffee table and away from the couch, toward a brown box beside one of the bookcases crammed with too many volumes.

Inside the box was a photo frame, the light from the windows causing a glare to form on the glass plate which was what had initially stolen his attention. Allen knelt down next to the box and pulled out the frame, staring at the two smiling faces in the picture with a blank face. It was a sunny scene, with Rabi smiling in that way he normally did. But he wasn't wearing his eye patch, which was strange because Allen knew he only went without it in the privacy of their own bedroom, as Rabi was embarrassed about his slightly discolored and blind right eye. In this picture, however, he was quite obviously out in public without his eye patch, with his arms quite obviously not around Allen. They were around Kanda—Kanda—of all people. And the Japanese Exorcist was actually smiling a little bit. Just a slight upward curvature of the lips, but it was a smile.

He set the picture aside and rifled through the rest of the contents inside the box. There were more pictures of Rabi and Kanda. Some big and shiny, others small and narrow with white borders. But in every photo, Rabi and Kanda were there with the two of them leaning close to one another as if…Allen felt something like anger sink into his expression as heat gathered in his cheeks. As if Rabi and Kanda were lovers. Allen's left hand gripped the side of the box so tightly that it actually ripped. But despite his anger, he still continued to go through the things inside the box.

There were a few more framed photographs that he shifted to the side, some small knick-knacks, and a pile of cards that Allen picked up and looked at. The first that he found was a shiny note, with long, scrawled script inside that was so distinctly Rabi that Allen could barely handle seeing Kanda's name written at the top with almost loving loops at the K and d. The message that followed made Allen feel like something hot and painful was being driven into his chest over and over and over again:

Yuu,

Happy fourth anniversary! I know you hate cards, but I couldn't help myself. Here's to another four happy years and hopefully many more.

(And I know you'd call me sappy, but:) Love, Lavi.

At that point, Allen didn't want to read anymore or look at anything else, or wonder why Rabi had spelled his own name so differently. He was just so completely consumed with this feeling of betrayal that he began throwing the items back into the box without trying to be quiet. The sound of one of the glass frames shattering, though, sent Rabi jumping off the couch with a surprised shout.

"Allen…" he said, holding a hand to his chest as he tried to control his breathing. He looked relieved, but also concerned. Allen didn't let that affect him; attempted to ignore how Rabi looked so adorable when he woke up with his hair sticking out all over the place. All their years spent together as lovers was something that Allen pushed out of his mind, his anger and hurt manifesting itself in his frown and the way he tightly clutched a framed photo of Rabi and Kanda. "Hey…are you okay? You shouldn't be up yet…"

"Don't tell me what to do, Rabi!" Allen said, with enough force that Rabi stopped taking steps closer to him.

"Just…calm down, okay?" Rabi replied in that low, soothing voice he had used when Allen's nightmares had frightened him in the middle of the night, seeking the warmth and security of his redheaded lover. The silver-haired boy shook his head adamantly, not wanting to listen or remember.

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down," Allen said, with enough venom in his voice that he could almost taste it. He had never been this angry with anyone before in his life, especially Rabi, of all people. Sure Rabi had done some stupid things, but the redhead had never tapped into the hidden reserve of wrath that Allen harbored inside him for battle. He held his hand up for Rabi to see the ring that adorned his finger: the one that Rabi had given to him the night they made their most intimate promises. "You…did our promise mean nothing?!" The picture in Allen's hand and the fact that Rabi's ring finger was missing the twin silver band made Allen realize that it had all had been for nothing. Everything he had ever believed in, fought for, loved was just a lie.

"Allen, listen…it's not what you think," Rabi said, still in that quiet, calming voice that Allen just didn't want to hear at that moment. All he could think of was the words Rabi had whispered in his ear so tenderly as they made love; the way Rabi held him when it felt like his entire world was falling apart. He felt so damn cheated to find out that Rabi hadn't been his at all and had played him with Kanda…It was just too much to take.

"Not what I think? Rabi, you lied to me!" Allen cried, his head so confused at everything he had discovered, the ring burning like betrayal on his finger.

"No, listen," Rabi said, taking a step closer to him, but just a small one. "Look, I'm not R—" But before Rabi could attempt to explain himself with some useless words that wouldn't make any difference, Allen felt his arm reeling back and then forward, the grip from his hand releasing its hold on the picture frame. The object was hurled right at Rabi's forehead, where it hit him above his right eye. Because of the force that the frame had been thrown, Rabi fell backwards and to the floor, where he didn't move after that.

Allen panted harshly, staring at Rabi for a few moments as his anger slipped away. Then when he realized what he'd done, he stood there dumbfounded and scared.

What had he just done…?

pqpq

Whew. Short update, sorry guys. Moving in tired me out...

More real Lavi/Allen-ness soon, though, so give me love?

Dhampir72