Well, I attempted to harness the Kripke vernacular, but the inconsistencies I have written are starting to bug me as well as the readers. I wanted to avoid his speech impediments during serious parts of the story, but it appears to be coming off as inconsistent. That being the case, I have hired a phenomenal translator to organize the mess known as Kripke's speech. CaitAmber will be my editor for all Kripke related topics. She is, after all, the resident expert. Thank you Cait!


Dissolve: to lose clarity or definition

"Okay, folks," Seibert began, "I know it's a little out of the ordinary to call so many faculty members at once, but desperate times call for desperate measures."

The auditorium was filled with every available faculty member. There hadn't been this much commotion at the university since Reese's Peanut Butter Cups were made available in the cafeteria. Not even Stephen Hawking's visit came close.

"Oh, no! We're all getting fired," Raj whimpered. "They're going to send me back to India. I know it!"

"Would you stop?" Leonard said and bumped him in the arm. "I can't hear what he's saying."

"What he's saying is that we need to kiss more butts because the university can't manage money." Sheldon sunk in his chair and sulked.

"You don't know that."

"Ladies and gentlemen, it appears that we have found ourselves in a financial crisis," Seibert announced through the microphone.

"Told you," Sheldon mumbled.


"Is he sewious?" Barry asked Amy as they held hands in the auditorium.

"If the biology budget is any indicator, we're all out of a job."

"But how?"

"I couldn't say since I've only been here for a short time, but I don't even know how they're paying the staff they have now."


"I don't want to resort to cutting salaries, and I definitely don't want to cut positions altogether," Seibert continued. "But I think if we work together, we can beat this."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. Not only was his last proposal denied completely, but now Seibert and his minions were probing for more.

"I have a few ideas, and yes, you will all have to put on your Sunday best and earn every dime that comes into this university."

"Not me," Sheldon mumbled.

"And that includes you, Dr. Cooper."

Sheldon popped up in his seat when he realized that Seibert was addressing him directly. "But you said you never wanted to see my face at another fundraiser as long as you lived."

"That should tell you how drastic the circumstances are."

"But what if I choose not to participate?" Sheldon asked in a haughty voice.

"Then," Seibert sighed, "You're out of a job."

"But I'm Sheldon Cooper."

"Even Sheldon Cooper has to earn his keep. And that goes for all of you. I know we've hosted more fundraisers and applied for more grants this year than we have in the last five years combined, but we've also expanded projects in every department. We've made incredible progress in the geology and biology departments. And we've made the most progress in the theoretical physics department thanks to Barry Kripke. These advancements have opened up new jobs and new research opportunities, but we need to continue generating grant money and benefactor contributions to sustain this impressive growth."


"Pwesident Seibert?" Barry raised his hand to speak.

"Yes, Barry," Seibert answered.

"I just bwought in a sizable gwant. Am I still wequired to pawticipate in the fundwaisers?"

"Yes, I'm afraid. We need all the man power we can muster to sweep the benefactors off their feet. And Barry, you're research has proven to be the most promising."

Sheldon's body trembled with anger. He knew that Kripke was a poor excuse for a physicist and an even poorer excuse for a human being, but why couldn't anyone else see it?

"I didn't want to have to resort to this, but it looks like you boys in theoretical physics are going to have to team up again," Seibert announced in almost a whisper.

"What?" Barry stood from his seat and let go of Amy's hand. She could tell that he was furious. Working with Sheldon had been one of the most trying times in his life. She spent almost every night trying to calm him so he could focus and complete the proposal.

But if she had to go back, she'd do it all again. That simple assignment had brought them closer together. The day Barry was told about the proposal with Sheldon, she saw a whole new side of him. Suddenly, the jokes stopped. His focus shifted entirely towards physics, and that's when she knew that his rough, sarcastic exterior was just an act. He was a dedicated, passionate man that had made her happier than she'd ever been.

"You know how the wast pwoposal went," Barry started to raise his voice. "Coopew is so awwogant and widdled with compulsions that you had to wemove him from the pwoject yourself."

"I know, Barry." Seibert hung his head a bit before letting out a much needed sigh. "But it's his research that needs the funding. I know that you deal primarily with dark matter, but Dr. Cooper needs funding for his research on String Theory."

"But what does that have to do with me?"

"If we can't maintain a steady source of income throughout the entire theoretical physics department, we will have to shut it down altogether."

"But you just said that we had made an incwedible amount of pwogress. How can we possibwy be buwning thwough money that quickwy?"

"I'm as baffled as all of you are, but this is where we stand."

The whole auditorium began to murmur. Barry sat back in his chair in shock. Not only was his job in jeopardy, but his entire profession could soon be disregarded at the university he'd called home for the last seven years.

"I don't bewieve this," he whispered. But even through the noise and commotion, Amy felt his hand wrap around hers, and she knew that he needed her even more than physics.


Sheldon felt completely alone in the auditorium. A thousand voices chimed around him, but he heard nothing. He saw nothing. He felt nothing but emptiness.

He could feel himself dissolve into the matter around him, losing all sense of identity.

"We haven't lost the fight," Seibert said in a more cheerful tone. "We have a benefactor fundraiser next week and an auction scheduled for next month. Both events are mandatory for all faculty members. I'm sorry to have had to call you all away from your busy schedules, but now that we're all on the same page, we can fix this mess that we find ourselves in. That's all for now. I look forward to seeing you all next week."


"I'm sorry," Amy said softly as Barry drove her home. "I wasn't expecting any of that."

She waited for him to respond, but it wasn't going to be tonight.

"Do you want to come in and watch a movie? Maybe just have some tea?"

"Not now, thanks," he said quietly as he put the car in park. "I think I'm just gonna head home."

Amy remained quiet and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Goodnight," she whispered and exited the car.


"Well, I don't think Penny and I were planning a girls' night tonight, but you're welcome to hang out with us. We are having dinner at a friend's house," Bernadette spoke into the phone.

"Wouldn't I be intruding?" Amy asked.

"Of course not. They are really great people. You'll get to meet Penny's boyfriend, Leonard. I think she's mentioned him."

"Okay. Should I wear anything in particular?"

"No, just dress casual. We usual meet around eight. You can drive with me if you'd like."

"That sounds great. I could really use a night of fun. Today was a rough."

"Well, I'm not sure how much fun we'll have but if all else fails, Leonard's roommate will give you some entertainment."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You'll see."