WARNING! Light spoilers ahoy if you're not current with the manga, but it's just the first page and not plot-essential so you can skip it if you really feel it's necessary. Definitely two, possibly three mouse-clicks on the scroll bar from the start of the installment.

Author's Notes: Even though this piece takes place in my Door Number Two/Vis-à-Vis universe you don't have to read either of those before you read this; it would just help if you did. All you really need to know is that this work takes place in an alternate dimension/universe and as a result some canon information – such as the Fourth's name – are deliberately inaccurate. If that will bother you, either do not read this at all or read Door Number Two/Vis-à-Vis to find out why these inaccuracies exist.

For those of you already familiar with Door Number Two/Vis-à-Vis, if you didn't come here from Vis-à-Vis this is an apology of sorts for the long wait for an update. There won't be one such thing every time, but it's possible that there may be more if they – like this one – don't fit anywhere in the fic itself.

Title: Shrinkage (Part Three of Three)

Author: Reaper Nanashi (Lady Shinigami)

Pairing: None intended

Word Count: 4067 (Total: 16848)

Category: Naruto

Genre: General/Humor

Type: Three-shot (Complete)

Rating: T (bad words)

Date Submitted: 11/5/09

Disclaimer: Ultimately belongs to Masashi Kishimoto – I just play in the sandbox.

Claimer: I seriously doubt Kishimoto-sensei would allow this indignity to occur, people. It was just a cute idea, okay? Okay? . . . Agree, damn it!

Summary: It was an accident – a moment of acute unpreparedness made worse by a lack of critical information. Naruto did not want to be so vulnerable, but at least his Shadow was watching over him. "Except that I can't have you running around in orange. It's too much like you and people will start to wonder." "Wonder what? If I'm having illegitimate children?"

The Reasoning Behind It: Because I am a sick, sappy person and I wanted Naruto and the Yondaime to have some time to bond under the most adorable circumstances possible – because we all know that they need to spend time together. The apology aside, it was easier to use the DNT/VàV universe so that the explanations could be kept simple and the fun stuff could take the lead.


Part III – The Merits of Teamwork


Naruto hated Sasuke's Kusanagi blade.

It was a weapon of the finest quality, certainly, and Sasuke definitely knew how to make excellent use of its reach and the special traits that came from its components or had otherwise been included during its forging, such as the manner in which it eased his utilization of the Chidori Current. What Naruto hated about it was the fact that as far as he was concerned, the Kusanagi symbolized Sasuke's weakness and desperation. The weapon may have come from Orochimaru's hand, but he was only secondary – if Sasuke had not felt scared and cornered by the memory of Itachi, Naruto knew that he never would have gone to the snake bastard in the first place and therefore never would have acquired the katana. And he knew that because he knew also that Sasuke was strong under most circumstances, and the fact that he seemed to prefer or – god forbid – need the Kusanagi's presence just rubbed every last one of Naruto's hairs in exactly the wrong direction.

He glared from where he stood among a few of the buildings that Yamato had resurrected not too long ago. They were collapsing again, though by virtue of a raging black fire as opposed to a massive gravitational force – or whatever Pain's power had been. "Sasuke . . . why?"

"I need a reason?" Sasuke responded, in the same dead voice he had used since the first time Team Kakashi came across him in one of Orochimaru's hideouts. Naruto hated it almost as much as he did the Kusanagi.

"You killed Itachi," Naruto snapped as the fires crackled around him and wood groaned as it burned and warped. "You already got your revenge! You may not need a reason to come back and do this, but to bother with it must mean there is one!"

Sasuke looked at him for a long time, and he did not flinch when a house fell into the street behind him and flung wood particles everywhere. "Konoha is as responsible for the death of my clan as Itachi."

Naruto stared. ". . . What?"

"It was the council who ordered Itachi to kill my clan," Sasuke revealed. "Because they were scared of my family's power and ambition. They were cowards and wanted to test his loyalty."

Naruto frowned. "Then kill the council members who ordered it if you have to, but leave Konoha alone!"

"Konoha elected the council," Sasuke pointed out.

"You can't logically expect the entire world to know who can be trusted and who can't!" Naruto shouted. "You didn't even know, you bastard! You still don't, or you never would have left here!"

"You mean left you," Sasuke sneered.

"Left here!" Naruto insisted. "I can accept that you think I wasn't improving myself fast enough to be an adequate challenge, but you never even tried to improve yourself here after Kakashi-sensei taught you the Chidori – you just assumed there was nothing left to learn and ran away!"

Once upon a time, merely implying that Sasuke ran from anything would have earned at least a snort. Time had passed, however, and Sasuke was no longer interested in emotions. "You say that as though you think that I was afraid of something."

"You were!" Naruto accused. "You were afraid of the bonds you had to those around you!"

Sasuke did not answer, which told Naruto that he was right. Sasuke could lie very well . . . as long as the lie was of no personal consequence. When he could not lie convincingly he simply kept his mouth shut, but that in itself was all the confirmation needed by someone who knew him halfway.

"I want revenge, too, Sasuke," Naruto said, more quietly. "I want so much revenge . . . but what good will it do me? It won't make people stop hating me or thinking I'm a loser; it won't bring Ero-Sennin back or heal the old lady; it won't even help me sleep at night. What has your revenge led to? Nothing more noble than a need for further revenge. Will a revenge greater still have to follow that, Sasuke, until you've killed everyone in the world?"

Sasuke snorted. "Melodrama . . ."

"Answer me!" Naruto roared. "How many people will you have to kill before your revenge is satisfied?!"

"As many as necessary," was the calm response.

Naruto growled at that dismissal of the value of life. "And if you're killed?"

A shrug. "Unlikely, but if it did then I would be a fool for challenging someone who I could not defeat." Red eyes narrowed and took on a form that Naruto, even through the fluttering of the smokeless black flames, knew he had never seen before. "A fool like you."

Naruto glared again as he settled in for what he was sure would be the longest and most horrific fight of his life. "You bastard," he said, more to himself than to his enemy, "why can't you see? I guess that now it's your turn to be the one who just doesn't understand what it means to go through something. Hating everything is no way to live – that's why I chose a different path, even though it's harder . . ."

Sasuke thrust his Kusanagi into the earth, and the thump of it was so loud that Naruto woke up.

For a moment he was completely disoriented by his soft and dark and chilly surroundings, because he knew he had not been in his bedroom when he passed out from the chakra failure. But there he was, tucked neatly into the bed that was both his and not his. That did not explain, however, why he was awake and cold.

The thump.

He had heard a thump.

A visual scan of his room indicated nothing that could have made such a noise, other than perhaps himself, but he knew for certain that it had not been his imagination. He wished he could scan for any foreign chakra, but it was clear that using his own was definitely not advisable for the foreseeable future. He wanted to dismiss it, but his training and experience nagged when he turned up onto his side and made an attempt to do so. With a grumble, he flipped onto his back again and was examining an eerily human-shaped silhouette on the wall above his bed when it occurred to him why he was cold; the little personal fan was on and the window was open.

It took considerable effort and a few leaps of genius, but Naruto finally managed to close the window as an eighteen-month-old child without access to any chakra might. He returned to bed, satisfied even though there was no way he could reach the fan without clones or a stepladder, and was just tugging the blanket up around his chin when he felt his body get cold again, but not because of the air around him.

There was someone in his bedroom.

Not that he had seen the person, but he knew enough about ninja to know what was and was not done. And what was not done was windows left open, no matter the temperature inside or out. It was ridiculously easy for an enemy to get into a building that way, like seeing the vampire grinning with all his teeth accounted for and inviting him over the threshold anyway. If at all, one was more likely to see windows open only during daylight and if the room was occupied constantly by someone, such as an office, so that anyone who was attempting to sneak in would be spotted instantly. Windows were absolutely not opened or left open at night. Ever. And the housekeeping girls would all have been told that, whether or not the why had been explained. That was the whole reason the fan was in the room and running.

Naruto slowly turned his gaze and his head upward to the odd human-like silhouette.

It had moved. Just a little bit, but it had moved.

". . . Shit," he decided calmly, and made a dive for his bedroom door.

All the doors that led to the outside had knobs, but the inside doors all had levers, so it was easy to open them if they could be reached. Naruto grabbed the lever on his door and let himself fall; his weight opened it and he dropped to the floor. For a moment he felt a burst of vulnerable fear when his legs could not support him, but he rolled with the momentum and knew he had just escaped big trouble when nearby wood cracked and split from an impact Naruto did not want to identify. He scrambled out into the hall and ran away from his and Akiko's rooms, to where he knew there was a tiny alcove and a door that opened into a garden that was surrounded by the house. It was not completely protected from enemy attack, particularly from above, but it helped the ANBU guards offer some defense in the event of an invasion of any sort.

He skidded into the inset of the wall and looked up an instant before he realized that he had made a mistake in his choice. The door led to the outside, so it had a knob and not a lever, but even if it had he had no idea how he was supposed to get to it when he barely reached his father's knee. His eyes dropped to the floor, then darted back up just a bit. Bingo.

He reminded himself to ask why the manor had doggy doors and flipped open the latch that locked it, then slipped through and onto the porch that lined the garden. Behind him, he heard whoever was after him play with the door and dove off the porch to the dewy grass. He ducked into the open area beneath the porch and huddled in the dirt against the manor's foundation as he tried to control his breathing. There was more than enough space for an adult to get up under the porch as well if necessary; it occurred to Naruto how dangerous that was and gave himself another reminder to point that out to someone. Of course, any shinobi with a C-class Earth technique could do the same even if there had been a wall of sorts there, but there was no reason to make it easier.

The door opened above him and Naruto ducked deeper into himself as tears of childish terror began to run over his cheeks. The last thing he needed was to cry and make his breathing worsen and become more audible, but there he was anyway thanks to his own stupidity and his sister's unfortunate genius. He watched the intruder's feet move almost soundlessly over the planks overhead, wished that he had thought to call out for help before he went into hiding, and wondered why the ANBU who were supposed to be watching over the manor apparently were not on the lookout. Not that it mattered any, because the next thing he knew upside-down eyes were glinting at him from the other end of the porch.

At that point Naruto screamed the kind of scream that he had once made fun of Sakura for using – a high, frantic shriek that was definitely not befitting a shinobi – and started to run along under the porch. He dodged one kunai but took a shuriken to the thigh, but the pain only fueled his panic; he ran blindly – for all he knew he circled the whole garden three times. The intruding ninja slid under the porch to cut him off and Naruto turned a new corner in his path and darted into the garden. There was no moonlight, though, and he had no idea if the stairway nearby led to the door he had gone out through; if not, he would have wasted precious time in finding out. Then Naruto's ears were graced with a wonderful sound.

"Naruto . . .?" the Fourth questioned in the dark from somewhere nearby.

Hands closed around his ribs and lifted him, and Naruto smiled in relief as he was rolled into a supportive arm. He peered through the darkness the best he could, but a new hand clamped over his mouth quickly. Naruto kept quiet obediently as he was moved somewhere, presumably into some hiding place, and waited patiently as someone crept cautiously through the grass. Naruto sent a mental raspberry at the oblivious intruder and was very proud of his ability to be silent when necessary despite his age. A door opened across the garden, spilling golden light out from the hallway, and Naruto snickered internally at the mental image of the shinobi being confronted by a bunch of girls armed with katana. The interloper would probably be able to escape because he was a ninja and the girls would be too afraid to actually attack him, but it would be an alarming sight nevertheless. Then he saw the light actually strike the man in the doorway, and Naruto's heart dropped into his feet.

It was his father, which meant that the one holding him was the enemy he had so successfully dodged until that point. Naruto had been quiet for the wrong person.

He started to struggle and fight and cry around the hand silencing him, but too late. His father spoke to one of the girls inside as he entered the house and pushed the door closed behind himself, and Naruto felt a new swell of panic at the realization that he was alone again. The intruder did something that flicked him into one hand so that his mouth was still covered and the other was free to retrieve a new kunai; Naruto thrashed desperately and alternately shoved and pulled at the arm holding him to no avail. The shinobi fought with him for only a moment before Naruto, in a mindless fit, opened his mouth to shout. One of the enemy's fingers dropped in, and before it could be removed Naruto bit down as hard as he could.

The intruder did his best to keep things quiet and controlled, but with that little victory won, Naruto upped his fight so much that the enemy had no choice but to wrestle him with both hands. He managed to squeeze free, only to drop into a small pond that he knew was somewhat to the southwest corner of the garden, near the door to what was technically his parents' side of the manor. It was about ten inches deep and three times as wide, so he floundered momentarily in an effort to both breathe and avoid the enemy simultaneously, but once he was relatively stable he drew in a deep breath.

"DADDY!"

Almost instantly, he heard the distinctive shuck of blood squelching from a body and around a foreign item. Naruto slowly lowered himself into the freezing-cold pond water so as to be harder to find, just in case. There were some more telltale signs of killing, then a long silence.

"Naruto?" his father called. "Naruto, where are you? It's okay – he's dead. You can come out."

Very, very hesitantly, Naruto pushed himself to his feet. The splashing water gave his position away and he felt hands grab him suddenly. He squeaked in alarm and began to struggle once more.

"Naruto!" the Fourth's voice scolded softly, sounding much nearer than it had all night so far. He continued to wriggle and felt something bump the shuriken in his thigh that he had rather forgotten about until that moment. "Naruto, it's okay! You're oka— Ouch! What the . . . Shit." The hands became infinitely gentler in their efforts to control him. "Easy, Naruto. You're hurt. Stop struggl— Oh, come on . . ."

He was pinned carefully against a warm bare chest, which the intruder had not had. Naruto took a moment to breathe, then reached up to try to trace the contours of his captor's face, just to be sure. Instead, his hand touched a familiar lock of hair, so he grabbed it and yanked. Anyone who was not used to having hair there, such as someone making use of a transformation technique, would react in a notably different fashion from someone who had that very hairstyle on a daily basis.

The head the hair was attached to gave after a split-second of resistance, when the pain registered. The one who owned the hair was obviously used to having children pull on it. "Ow! Naruto!" Naruto let go and clutched at his father's shoulders to try to find a good grip. When he did he hugged the elder blond tightly and rested his head against the top of a firm yet still somehow soft pectoral before the tears began to fall. His father nuzzled into his hair and returned a gentle, encompassing embrace.

"Oh, please don't cry," the Fourth chided softly. "Shh. You're safe now . . ."

"Where were the guards?" Naruto whimpered. "I . . . I . . ."

"They're dead and getting stiff," he explained. "Now come on – let's go inside and have you looked at."

Rin was collected from the roof, where she had been examining the guards for cause of death, and asked to check Naruto's injuries. She confirmed the Fourth's opinion that they were minor, and since she was still not fully recovered from fixing Naruto's chakra failure he knew enough first-aid to do the healing himself. Naruto was not one to sit still for long periods of time, but he was so exhausted and cold that all he felt he wanted to do was lean back into the warm, convenient cradle of his father's left arm and go to sleep.

"You going to make it, Naruto?" the Fourth prompted abruptly.

Jarred from a near-sleep, Naruto looked up at his father and yawned. "Yeah. 'M just ready to go to bed."

The healing paused briefly so that careful fingers could check his pulse and then his head, presumably to make sure he did not have a concussion. ". . . Okay. You can sleep if you want to."

Rather than clicking off completely, Naruto drifted into a restful half-sleep. He was lulled for some time by the oddly soothing hum of his father's voice, and then nudged gently back into consciousness so that he could take a warm bath. He groaned, loath to move when he was so comfortable, but his mother insisted and he obediently went to bathe; it was something he was allowed to do on his own under the circumstances, and because precautions had been taken – mainly Shinju listening through the door for any extended periods of silence – in case he passed out for some reason.

With his baby-shinobi uniform shredded and soaked, Naruto changed back into his preferred orange gear once he was finished and dry. Shinju was too self-conscious to even ask for permission to pick him up and carry him, so he had to walk all the way back to the sitting room where everyone of immediate importance – even the people who had not been in the house for the night – had gathered. The Fourth scooped him up the instant he entered the room, going so far as to leave the armchair he had been seated in to do so. Of course, Naruto imagined that it meant something to be able to leave a comfortable spot in a crowded room and be certain that no one would dare to steal it without permission.

The interloping ninja was dead, so there was no reason for anyone but the new and increased guard to be up and about. While Hotaru and the girls all returned to bed Obito took a few extra ANBU into the surrounding woods to check for traps or hidden bevies of enemy shinobi, and when that was done he dismissed them and appropriated a guest space for himself. Kakashi snuck into the dark room and belly-flopped on top of him as soon as he got settled, and the two engaged in a wrestling match so loud and violent that Naruto and his father could hear it from where they were reclined together on one of the couches in the sitting room – at the opposite end of the house.

One minute after that, the Fourth opened the door to Obito's room with enough force that it slammed into the wall with a bang. Obito and Kakashi, in a knot of twisted extremities, froze and stared at him as though knowing they would not be able to get away when he leaped forward to strangle them. But when nothing happened for several minutes they very slowly untangled, crept to the full-size bed, climbed into it, and pulled the covers over their heads as though doing so would save them.

Akiko appeared then, alone, and toddled around the Fourth's leg into the room. Naruto watched her cross to the bed, where she tugged on the blanket and whined, "'Kashi-niisan, Obito-niisan, help! I want up!"

Kakashi, who was the closer of the two, obediently risked his teacher's wrath by pushing the covers down to grab her and lift her into the space between himself and his adopted brother. Then the covers were moved back into their place of protection.

When they seemed to be settled the Fourth exhaled noisily to convey his continued annoyance, cut the lights off, and pulled the door closed. He walked three doors down and cracked open the door there enough that he could stick his head in. "Sorry, Hotaru," he said. "They'll be quiet now."

"Thank you," she mumbled tiredly.

That door was closed again, at which point the Fourth turned and bent down to pick Naruto up as he set off for the dark sitting room. "Stupid idiots," he muttered, mostly to himself. "It's three in the morning . . . Waking up Hotaru and Akiko . . ."

They settled on the couch where they had originally been lying, and Naruto was placed on his father's chest so that a scratchy wool blanket could be drawn up over both of them. Firm but gentle fingertips massaged his head briefly, and whether it was supposed to comfort him or not, it made him lift his head. ". . . Dad?"

"Hm?" was the vague response of a person attempting to fall asleep.

"How did you get to me so fast? I called for you when you were at the other end of the garden. And inside."

He received a rough hair-ruffle for his trouble. "I'll show you when you're older, how 'bout that?"

"How much older?"

"Old enough to have good chakra control."

Training could do that, though the Chiisaikoro would have to wear off first. "Promise?"

"Promise. Now go to sleep, buddy."

Naruto yawned in agreement and laid his head down on his father's chest so that the elder blond's heartbeat would put him to sleep, which it did with admirable speed.

Though he himself drifted off soon after that, sometime in the dead of night Arashi was awakened by what seemed to be an unusually deep silence in his surroundings. A quick scan revealed that there was no danger, merely the all-enveloping quiet that came just before dawn, and his second reflex was to check on his child. He looked down and put his face into a brush of blond hair that was just gold enough to shimmer faintly in the moonlight. What had awakened him was clear – Naruto was far bigger and heavier than he had been a few hours before, which meant that the Chiisaikoro had finally worn off. Arashi dragged his fingers lightly through his son's hair, briefly flattened the spiked locks with a kiss, and closed his eyes as he reclined again. He missed having babies in the house, but it was worth the babies going away to see them grow bit by bit into wise, thoughtful adults he could trust absolutely.

He snorted when he realized he was not fooling anyone, least of all himself; his children could be ninety years old, but they would still always be his babies.

"I'll miss you," he murmured to both of his children, though neither could hear, "but I'm glad you're here."


Finis


Answers To Questions You Didn't Even Know You Wanted To Ask:

Regarding the semi-spoilers: I don't know what to say about that whole first page. It's a spoiler but it's not – I think everybody knows by now that Sasuke left Konoha and went to hide in one of Oro's panty drawers. I suppose the Kusanagi and Chidori Current could be considered spoilers, though since I never describe them I'm not sure that's really spoiling anything. (Except for maybe the Kusanagi, which would be a complete coincidence because there are portions of the manga I haven't read and I've never bothered to study Sasuke beyond his personality – which can be summed up in three words – so I don't know anything about the Kusanagi either beyond the facts that it's a katana and he got it from Orochimaru.) Admitting that Pain exists is something of a spoiler, I guess. Oh, and killing Itachi, though I don't think Itachi dying is as much of a surprise as who did it (I always figured it would be Naruto, but then again I am biased and the whole thing is a matter of honor and reputation in the traditional Japanese way, so Sasuke would have had to have been the one, but whatever).

———

Sasuke definitely knew how to make excellent use of its reach and the special traits … such as the manner in which it eased his utilization of the Chidori Current.

Like I said above, I don't know if that's entirely true. However, there are canonical references to other Naruto weapons that do have similar effects (such as the blade Sakumo and Kakashi used), so it's at least an acceptable leap if nothing else, and Sasuke has used his Kusanagi to aid the reach of his chakra-based attacks.

———

"Then kill the council members who ordered it if you have to, but leave Konoha alone!"

My hatred for Koharu and what's-his-face – Homura – falls to a point that's only marginally weaker than my hatred for Danzou. And you can quote me. I actually used to only dislike them somewhat – Koharu particularly, because Homura's apparently nothing but a tool of the yes-man format – for viewing Naruto as a weapon (because I knew that Naruto is so independent that he could handle that on his own), but after learning their part in causing Itachi's trauma and heartache, I elevated my feelings from Strangle-Them-If-I'm-Bored-One-Day to Exterminate(or Delete, if that's your fancy)-On-Sight. For reference, Danzou falls under the Seek-and-Destroy category.

———

"You can't logically expect the entire world to know who can be trusted and who can't!"

This is a politically correct way of saying, "You, my dearest friend and adopted brother, have bats in your belfry."

———

Naruto finally managed to close the window as an eighteen-month-old child without access to any chakra might.

Never mind that eighteen-month-old children generally wouldn't be able to close a window . . .

———

There was someone in his bedroom.

I noticed that I have a lot of night attacks in DNT/VàV, or at least it seems that way. Does anyone think it's unrealistic? I use them so much because night is a good cover and logically, in a zone where chakra use would obviously be monitored darkness is the next best cover, but is it too much?

———

… like seeing the vampire grinning with all his teeth accounted for and inviting him over the threshold anyway.

For those of you unfamiliar with vampire lore, it's said that a vampire can never enter your house unless you invite him/her in. It's not actually as easy as it sounds, since s/he's allowed to trick you.

———

… any shinobi with a C-class Earth technique could do the same … but there was no reason to make it easier.

I can't think of a technique like that which actually exists – or, rather, I think it exists (I even used it/something like it in DNT) but can't recall its name. On the other hand, even if it doesn't exist it's a perfectly reasonable technique to expect to exist.

———

"I'll miss you … but I'm glad you're here."

For anyone who might be confused by this, it simply means that Arashi will miss baby!Naruto and baby!Akiko, but he wouldn't trade them as they are now just to have the baby versions back.

———

Someone asked where Kyuubi was, but since I wasn't able to include it at this point in the fic I'll do so here. I don't know exactly what happened to him; I did think about including him, but then figured it would be too much to put in because let's face it—Kyuubi is not going to improve a cute-and-cuddly WAFF fic like this one merely by being himself. However, since the Chiisaikoro reduces one back to a child state except for the mind, it's probable that the Kyuubi is sealed behind his gates again in a way he isn't in VàV because Naruto's body is at a time far before the appearance of the stresses that weakened the seal. Therefore, Kyuubi is either pouting and pointedly not contacting Naruto, or he is incapable of it because of the strengthened seal.

—————

I have another idea for Side Doors, just to keep everyone up-to-date, but don't expect it anytime soon; I don't know what to call it yet, or even have a properly-ordered plot in mind for it. (Stupid Doctor Who – why does it have to be such a damn fun show and make me want to write fanfics? Argh.) What I do know is that it's not a crossover – in case anyone got turned around there – and that it will take place when parallel!Naruto is roundabout eleven years old, which means that it will take place prior to the events of Door Number Two and Vis-à-Vis. Presumably, this means that canon!Naruto will not be present in any format, though since I know so little about the plot right now that may change.

——————————

Yondaddy and Baby Naru are TEH— Oh, you get the idea.

–RN (LS)