Sorry this took a little longer than I thought it was going to.
Chapter Three
BPOV
"Marley and Me's due back tomorrow before midnight and…you have Body of Lies until Saturday. Have a great day!"
I handed the movies to the customer as she passed me on her way out the door without so much as a thanks. Ugh.
Apparently, customers at video stores were exactly the same no matter which city you worked in. The Phoenix store was always crawling with customers, each one fighting for all the hot new releases so they could go back to their one bedroom apartments and their pint of Ben and Jerry's and couldn't care less about common courtesy or anything like that. At least, that was the norm in Phoenix.
Since I, in some strange and disorienting moment of clarity, had had the foresight to have my manager in Phoenix call the only video store in Forks and put in a good word for me, I was immediately put on the schedule and thrown into the mix like the old pro I was. I guess that was what two years at a mostly dead-end job will get you.
I glanced at the clock and sighed. It was only 8:00. Which meant that I still had an hour to kill at work until Assward came to pick me up. Why oh why did I not have my own vehicle? Why? That was really the root of all my problems at this point. The project, out of my hands. Having to meet with him three times a week for an hour, out of my control. But having him pick me up after work so we could work on said project? Oh my God, this was all Charlie's fault. That's what I was going to do. Blame my father. That was easy enough. If only he didn't have to patrol tonight. If only he had found a way to get me some old beater, I wouldn't be in this predicament. Oh, and it was Renee's fault too for teaching me how to spend money instead of save it. Thanks, Mom. Those skills you taught me are sure coming in handy now. Fuck me and fuck this goddamn town.
As if my day could possibly get any worse, I'd already had a run-in with Mike Newton the Jackass. He couldn't have found out where I worked that quickly but sure enough, the prick came waltzing in about an hour earlier. God must hate me. Seriously. And the second he saw me, I knew I was a goner. I was pretty sure I now officially had a stalker, more or less. Great.
"Bella! I didn't know you worked here!" He had said, much to eager and enthusiastic for my taste, waving like a complete fool.
God, maybe I should amend the no assholes policy to keep-the-creepers-at-bay policy. At least I had my pepper spray with me though. That had made me feel a little bit better, which was probably as good as it was going to get anyhow.
Maybe Charlie could get me a restraining order. That would show him.
Completely unaware of my hatred and disgust, Mike had sauntered over to the counter like we were old pals, or lovers, which was even more disgusting and started asking me about which new releases I'd seen, if there were any I could recommend to him, and oh, by the way, did I know of any really good old horror movies that he might potentially like?
Fuck me.
But my new manager had been watching me like a hawk. So I put on my happy face and spewed out my syrupy sweet customer service skills like my life depended on it. And I had sinking feeling that with this particular job, it probably did.
Like the good little video store employee I was, I got out from behind the counter and proceeded to walk him to all of my recommendations and anything else he asked me about. Of course, it was all for my new manager's sake, so I could show him that I was, indeed, qualified to work there and that my old manager hadn't just been blowing smoke up his ass, but Mike, unfortunately, didn't know that. He ate that shit up like nobody's business and I wanted to hang myself I was so frustrated and disgusted. As I took him from one spot around the store to the next, he followed me around like an animal would its prey, probably eyeing up my ass every chance he got. Fucking asshole. And people wonder why my current policy was in effect.
When Mike the Dick finally left with a whole shitload of movies in hand, my manager gave me the thumbs-up. Well, at least I knew I most likely had job security now, at least for the time being.
So all in all, my day was going pretty fucking shitty.
Ugh. Twenty-five minutes until the asshole of the hour showed up. I, seriously, have no idea how I managed to get myself in these predicaments. I must be either be an asshole magnet or incredibly susceptible to bad luck. Or probably both. I don't know what sick, twisted fucked-up world I lived in because I was about to spend the rest of my night with the one guy I absolutely, under no circumstances, should be alone in a room with. There was no telling what would happen. And I had a sinking feeling I would either kill him or fuck him and neither one of those was necessarily an appealing or realistic option for me.
He had to be, without a doubt, the most frustrating guy I'd ever met in my life. I just couldn't figure him out. First, on Saturday, he comes off as an actually nice guy, with slightly good intentions, with a fucking great taste in music, hot as hell, that lop-sided grin that practically soaked my panties, and we have one of the best, most honest conversations I'd had in a very, very long time about things I usually avoided like the plague. In the next instant, the guy does a 180 and pulls the asshole, I-may-have-seemed-nice-but-I-just-really-wanted-to-get-in-your-soaking-panties routine. Fucking jerk. Then at school today, he ignored me like nothing ever happened and like I'm not even in the goddamn room, let alone in the seat right next to him. He never even acknowledged me. Not that I was expecting him to jump up and pull out the chair for me or anything but I was expecting something. Some kind of flicker of recognition. Maybe, I was being completely honest with myself, I was looking for some sign that I had been wrong. That he really wasn't the motherfucker I thought he was, that there had just been a big misunderstanding and he was actually that nice guy I'd met on Saturday. But no such luck. His avoidance and general behavior in English class told me everything I needed to know. Asshole through and through.
And of course, he would be incredibly intelligent. Of course, he would be. It would've made things so much easier if he'd just been a stupid, typical dumb as a box of rocks jock. But I had quickly learned, at least where academics were considered, that he was anything but typical. He was actually smart and met me head-on, point for point during class. That was something I was definitely not used to. And as much as I hated to admit it, it was a little bit of a turn-on. Any guy that had read "Wuthering Heights" outside of the classroom limits had to be. But that wasn't enough.
I glanced at the clock again. Ugh. 8:30. I still had waayy too much time to kill.
Just then, the bell on the door chimed, signaling that new customers had arrived. I was just turning around to say hello to them when I froze.
Edward fucking Cullen, Jasper Whitlock, and Emmett McCarty were standing by the door, all three of them grinning at me with stupid, shit-eating grins on their faces.
Well, speak of the devil and he shall appear.
"You're early." I bit out, clenching my teeth so I didn't say anything else that could potentially piss off my manager.
"Well, hello to you too." Dickward chuckled, which was really starting to grate on my last nerve.
"Hi Bella!" Emmett waved like a two-year-old.
Gah. What had Rosalie gotten herself into with this one?
Jasper just smiled and nodded to me, looking over at both his friends and laughing. Well, at least one of three was semi-sane instead of semi-retarded. Now I understood what Alice saw in him. He seemed to be the calming center of the three, the most mellow, and definitely the most sane…so maybe opposites really do attract.
"You're early." I repeated. AKA: What the fuck are you idiots doing here a half hour early? On second thought, I probably already knew the answer to that question.
"Oh, since the boys were over at my house already anyways, we figured we'd rent a movie for later tonight after our little rendezvous." Assward answered, resting his elbows on the counter and looking at me with a look in his eye that made me really nervous. He drummed his hands on the counter for a couple of moments, probably just to further piss me off, and when he stopped, he looked right up at me again and cocked that lop-sided grin at me. Fuck.
"Yeah…can we get something cool like Open Season 2 or oh! Madagascar! Let's get Madagascar!" Emmett bellowed, causing several other customers to gawk at him in shock and disapproval.
"Jesus Christ…we are not renting any little kid movies, Emmett. My God." Jasper reasoned, rolling his eyes for dramatic effect.
Jerkward just laughed at both of them, shaking his head.
"Guys, let's just get something with Jason Statham. The new Transporter is out. Let's just get that." Emmett offered.
"Already saw it." Jasper cut in, as him and Emmett started off down the new release wall and began to bicker over which movie sucked, which one was amazing, which one had hot girls in it, and so on.
Which left me alone at the counter with the asshole. His eyebrows rose suggestively, as if he had just made the exact same realization, and exhaled deeply.
"So…" he started slowly.
Yeah, like that was going to work.
"I need to get back to work." I bit out through clenched teeth. Just his mere presence was royally pissing me off.
He smirked and nodded. "I see. Well, considering I'm a customer and all, I need some help finding something."
Oh God.
"Okkaaayy." I drawled out like I was talking to a two-year-old. An emotional two-year-old, more specifically.
"I'm looking for something…more adult."
Huh. And here I thought he might actually be mature and let me finish my shift in peace. My bad.
"Like what?" I retorted, quickly going into customer service mode, considering that my manager was only a few feet away and could hear the entire exchange.
Prickward scratched his chin in thought, like he was pondering a monumental decision. Yeah, right.
"Something from the back room. Got any suggestions, Swan?" He rose an eyebrow at me, shooting me that goddamn lop-sided grin and I wanted to murder him right where he stood. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly hate him anymore than I already did.
At this point, Emmett and Jasper were standing behind Fuckward and hanging on every word being exchanged between us.
"Well, Cullen, what are you into?"
If he could play the last name game, so could I. Fuckhead.
His face scrunched up in thought and he scratched his chin again as he thought. Shit, that was cute. I hated him.
"Hmm…it's hard to choose. Girl on girl is always good. But I'm looking for some entertainment tonight. Any good movie rip-offs you've seen you think I might enjoy after you leave?" His mouth was twisted in an evil smirk that made me want to smack him into next week.
Emmett and Jasper, naturally, were completely engrossed, eagerly anticipating my reply.
Guess what, assholes? You messed with the wrong video store employee. You fuck with the bull, you're going to get the horns.
"Well, let's head back there and I'll show you some you might like."
Without waiting for a reply from the three assholes, I left the counter and made my way towards the adult room. I didn't even need to look behind me to know all three of them were following closely at my heels to see what would happen next.
I pushed through the doors and gestured around with my hand.
"To start off with, there's always the tried and true Porn Wars movies. Let's see, Brokecrack Mountain, The Porn Fidelity, Very Bad Santa, King Dong, Cock Club…you know, porn for Fight Club…what else…Pirates…just like Pirates of the Caribbean supposedly, and my personal favorite, The Da Vinci Load."
All three assholes' jaws had already dropped at this point. I didn't give any of them a chance to even attempt to respond to that; instead, I just kept going.
"Now, if you want to get away from those movie rip-offs," I kept gesturing around to each one as I spoke. "There's always Britney Rears, any of the Jenna Jameson ones, always classic, One Night in Paris, all the Whores Don't Wear Panties, , Black Poles in White Holes, Where the Boys Aren't, I'm Old Enough to Be Your Mother, MILF Does a Body Good, Naughty Nurses, all the Yellow Tail movies, Debbie Does Dallas, oh…and we have Sylvester Stallone's movie too, The Italian Stallion, just in case you didn't see it yet. Let's see…the Pornomation movies are pretty good, or so I've been told…and we just got in my new personal favorite in this whole room…Who's Nailin' Palin? That is easily the best one we have. So there you go, I'm sure you'll be able to find something to your liking now."
Jasper, Emmett, and Assward just stared back at me, jaws open, eyes wide with shock and surprise and…was that a little drool there I saw on Fuckward's mouth? Yes, yes it was. Ha.
Finally, Emmett spoke while Jasper and Dickward openly gaped at me.
"That," he whispered. "Was the hottest thing I've ever seen."
"I concur." Jasper replied quietly, shaking his head in disbelief.
Better believe it, bitches.
Of course, Shitward just stood there, like his feet were rooted to the floor, staring at me with his mouth hung wide open. Completely and totally speechless. Damn right.
"So…uh…" Emmett continued to stutter. "You've seen all these movies?"
Jasper smacked him in the back of the head.
"Ow, shit…what'd you do that for?" Emmett called out, rubbing his hand with his face twisted hilariously in confusion.
"Of course she hasn't seen all these movies…" Jasper paused to cock an eyebrow at me. "Right…Bella?"
Hmm…what to do, what to do? I really should just be honest, come clean…but on the other hand, getting a reaction out of them was just too sweet to pass up.
So, like the little tease I was, I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled. "We're not supposed to recommend movies we haven't seen so…"
I shot all three of them a suggestive look, lingering on Doucheward the longest just for good measure, before turning on my heel and leaving them in my dust. Hahahaha, bet they never saw that one coming.
It didn't take the idiot patrol long to get their asses out of the adult room and as soon as I heard the doors opening, I immediately stopped what I was doing and shot them all a big smirk. Serves them right for being retards. A quick glance at the clock told them that I only had five minutes left of my shift; I wasn't sure whether to be happy or nervous about this now. Fucking asshole…he seemed to be completely and totally disrupting everything in my life right now.
They must have just grabbed the nearest movie they could find because they were all up at the counter within moments, Jasper and Emmett still watching me with wide eyes, and the fuckface himself was looking everywhere but at me.
"Uh…we'll be outside…" Assward said quietly, still not looking me in the eye.
By the time I had clocked out, grabbed my stuff, and made it outside, they were already sitting in a silver Volvo waiting, seemingly patient, for me. Shitward was behind the wheel. Of course he would be driving a brand new Volvo. He was fucking sitting in that thing with such an air of entitlement that I wanted to vomit the Mountain Dew I had just chugged right into his face. Emmett waved to me, like the two-year-old he was, in the back seat while Jasper just shook his head at him. Doucheward turned around and said something to Emmett. I couldn't quite figure out what he had said but whatever it was, it made Emmett immediately face forward, hands in his lap, like a little kid who had just been yelled at by his dad.
This was going to be a very, very, very long night.
With a heavy sigh, I walked around to the passenger seat, a little bit surprised that at least one of them was being a gentleman and letting me sit in the front seat. The second I shut the door, Assward had the Volvo in reverse and was speeding out the parking lot like someone had lit a fire under his ass. Apparently, he wanted to get our little 'rendezvous' over as quickly as I did. Well, I guess we had at least one thing in common then. Go figure.
"So Bella," Emmett called from behind me. "How was work?"
Ignoring the low muttering coming from Dickward next to me, I turned my head to meet the big goofy mass of muscle that was Emmett. It was amazing how a dude that huge could come off so incredibly harmless.
"It was fine, Emmett, thanks."
He sent a toothy grin and I couldn't help but smile back. Maybe I was starting to get what Rosalie saw in him.
Against my better judgment, I cast a look towards the asshole to my left and didn't even try to stop the look of disgust when I saw him. He was hunched over in his seat, both hands clenched tightly on the wheel, staring straight of head of him with an annoyed and slightly tense expression on his face. Jerk.
"So you and Cullen have a project together, huh?" Emmett asked casually.
I didn't miss the look Assward sent him through the rearview mirror.
"Uh…yeah, it's going to be tons of fun, I'm sure." I replied dismissively. The absolute last thing I wanted to talk about was the debacle that was about to take place.
Jasper snorted from the back seat. "Yeah, you can say that again. I cannot wait for this shit to go down."
"And why would that be?"
Ah, the fuckhead finally speaks. He was now glaring daggers at Jasper from the rearview mirror. Oh, this was obviously a sore spot with him. Imagine that. At least we both weren't fooling ourselves into believing this was going to be anything but the excruciatingly painful experience it was sure as hell going to be.
"Well," Jasper continued, all three a-holes completely oblivious to my staggering annoyance. "Just watching the two of you…trying to do anything besides attempt to kill each other is going to be the highlight of my evening…just so you know."
Alright, scratch any thoughts I'd been entertaining about Jasper actually being a nice guy. As it turned out, he was just a guy. Plain and simple. Poor, poor Alice.
Dickward clenched the steering wheel a little bit tighter and I have to admit, seeing him so pissed off was satisfying as hell. Fuck him and the Volvo he rode in on.
The rest of the ride went pretty smoothly…nothing but awkward silence between me and Doucheward and the constant bickering between the goons in the back seat. Until I started freezing my ass off…that was when things started to get a little bit weird.
I was practically shaking I was shivering so hard and started reaching out to turn the dial down on the air conditioning when my hand collided with his. Apparently, he had been about to do the exact same thing but…that's not necessarily the point.
The second our skin touched, a jolt went straight through me. I jumped back in shock and on reflex, my eyes collided with his. A look passed between us…I'm not really sure exactly what happened but it was the strangest, most uncomfortable moments I'd experienced in a long time. He looked away after a moment but for that split second there was…I don't know what. All I knew was that he had the fucking greenest eyes I'd ever seen in my life. My heart was beating way too fast and I had to take quick breaths just to feel somewhat normal again. God, it was only a brief, not even a full second of contact and it had completely disoriented me. What the fuck was wrong with me?
By the time, we pulled into the asshole's fucking beast of a mansion, I was still reeling from that weird moment in his car. Jasper and Emmett went bounding into the house like little kids and Shitward just followed after them, like nothing had ever happened. And maybe nothing did. Maybe I was losing my mind. Yeah, that was it.
Jasper and Emmett were already making a dead sprint for the TV when I walked into the hallway. Shit, this place was huge. I had forgotten how big and expensive it looked, especially since I probably hadn't really gotten the full effect due to the smoky, crowded, and dark atmosphere from Saturday night. But now…there was no hiding the fact that this was probably the nicest house I would ever see in my entire life. If I was doubting Alice's resentment of her cousin's nice cozy life, I definitely wasn't now.
"We can work here in the kitchen if you want or we could find some place else if you want to get away from those two."
Was he talking to me now?
My eyes immediately shifted to him but he was looking away and still had that annoyed expression on his face like this whole project was the biggest inconvenience of his life. He ran a hand through his hair and I felt a pang in my nether regions. Goddamn it all to hell, this fucking sucked.
"Or you can just stare at me like I'm a fucking idiot all night…that works too." He spat out at me, his eyes narrowing.
Fuck.
"Uh…here's fine. I guess it doesn't really matter." I responded shakily, uneasy with this whole thing.
"Let's just get this shit over with."
He pulled out a chair at the table and plopped himself down with a frustrated sigh. He grabbed his notebook and his book from his backpack and threw onto the table. That shit was really starting to get on my nerves. Seriously. Did he have to be such a cocksucker?
"Look," I bit out. "I don't like this anymore than you do but that doesn't mean you have to be such a jackass."
He let out a short laugh and raised his eyebrows, drumming his hands a couple times on the table. "Well, well…the bitch is back. I was starting to get worried there."
"Fuck you."
"You wish."
"Get bent."
"Can we get started now?"
He was fucking laughing at me.
I didn't respond to his highness and instead pulled out my own notebook to get this over with. I wasn't about to let him get the best of me…besides, I still didn't entirely trust that he was going to contribute to the project so someone had to be the responsible one here.
"So where do we start?"
He looked at me like I was retarded. Nice.
"Uh…probably at the beginning?" Again with the looks.
"Are you intentionally being an asshole or is this just the way God fucking made you?" I spat back.
Talk about progress.
The asshole just smiled at me and leaned forward. "I thank God everyday for the way he made me."
I scoffed. "Shove it up your ass."
"Hey!" Emmett yelled from the living room. "I don't hear any talking about 'Wandering Smites' over there!"
"Wuthering Heights!" We both yelled back to him at the exact same time.
After another slightly awkward moment, not entirely unlike the one in his car, I flipped open my books and readied myself for a fun time.
"Alright, so…let's just do this and be done with it." I exhaled.
"That's what she said!" Jasper yelled from the living room.
"Fuck off, Whitlock! Can't you shut up for one fucking hour? You know what? No more RHCP in my car." Assward shouted back to him as he pulled a hand through his hair.
"Aw, come on! That's cold." Jasper whined.
"Cold, cold, cold." Emmett chimed in.
"Don't get me started with you too, fuckface."
Emmett immediately turned around and refocused his attention on the TV. As much as I hated to admit it, that was pretty impressive.
Dickward was looking at me again now. "So are we going to get started or what?"
Geez, pushy much?
I chose to ignore his tone and his obvious annoyance and got to business.
"Alright, so we know that Mr. Lockwood is the narrator in the first couple of chapters and Heathcliff comes off as a real asshole in the beginning. So…I'm sure we're supposed to analyze why the narrator is so important and why Heathcliff is the way he is."
He was nodding in agreement, already flipping open his notebook to take some notes on our conversation. Alright, so…maybe he was somewhat capable. Whatever. Still hated him.
"Well, it's pretty obvious that we're supposed to realize that something's happened to him to make him the way he is…he didn't just get that way on his own."
Now I was the one nodding. Weird. "Yeah and Mr. Lockwood's reaction to him is the natural one that most people would have in meeting him. I think he's representative of the outside observer in general. You know, he doesn't have all the facts but—"
"That's not it." He stated bluntly.
Right.
Not.
"Sure it is." I reaffirmed.
"The fact that the narrator isn't one of the main characters means that we can't really trust him. He doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. He can't know."
"Well, if you'd just let me finish speaking before you cut me off…" I wasn't about to take that shit from him.
He opened his mouth to speak but quickly shut it.
"And," I continued. "If that's the route you want to go, you could easily make the argument that just because a main character is narrating doesn't necessarily mean he or she has all the facts either. The narrator could still be completely in the dark about something and have absolutely no idea."
He shrugged. "I still think I'm right."
I just rolled my eyes and shook my head. "I still think you're wrong."
He blew out a long breath. "Alright…moving on. So we should probably mention in our write-up somewhere the way Heathcliff's appearance is described."
"Well, he's supposed to look like he's pissed off at the world and really…dark…" I offered.
"Dark?" His brow furrowed in confusion and he started tapping his pencil on his notebook as he stared right back at me. I had half a mind to grab the pencil out of his hand and snap it.
"Yeah." I replied in exasperation.
"What does that mean exactly?"
Ugh. How do you explain something like this to another guy, especially one as arrogant as him?
He was leaning back in his chair, watching me carefully, like his entire opinion of me resting on this one answer. Shit, if that was the case, that was a lot to live up to. Besides, his opinion of me had probably been solidified since Saturday anyways. Fuck it.
"Dark implies mystery…and danger. It's basically the kind of guy every girl is attracted to, whether they want to admit it or not. The bad boy. Sure, at this point in the story Heathcliff is more grouchy than anything but he's portrayed as someone who's probably been to hell and back and come out alive, battered and bruised but still alive…he's a survivor and we're supposed to recognize that whatever he's been through isn't something that's been haunting him, so to speak. It's also supposed to show us what Catherine saw in him in the first place…like I said, every girl loves mystery and danger…it's like the ultimate fantasy."
Shit, did I just say that? In front of him? It was like I was having some kind of crazy, warped out of body experience. I didn't like it.
His eyebrows rose in surprise and he smirked. "Huh. Well…I guess that makes sense. Maybe you should write that down just to make sure we got all that. It was pretty good stuff. I have to admit though…that's pretty surprising coming from you."
My eyes immediately narrowed. "Why is that?"
He just smirked again and linked his hands behind his head. I think I liked that a little too much.
"Does zero tolerance ring a bell to you?" He shot me that stupid lop-sided grin and I wanted to punch it right off his face. Fuckhead.
"Fuck you."
"Yeah, you've said that already."
"Seriously, I'm sick of this shit…I think we've got enough to do the stupid write-up. Can you take me home now?" I snapped out, flipping my books back into my back as I spoke.
I had had quite enough of Edward Cullen for the night.
Like the dickhead he was, he smirked at me yet again before shutting his books and standing up to yell to Jasper and Emmett that he was leaving.
I was perfectly fine with not speaking to him for the rest of the night but he decided to be a Chatty Cathy on the way to Charlie's house, probably just to piss me off. And unfortunately for me, it was fucking working. Asshole.
"So what exactly does a 'zero tolerance policy for assholes' entail?" He asked with fucking mock sincerity. I was seriously going to smack him pretty soon.
Well, fine. You wanted to know. You're going to find out, dickhead.
"I'm not going to put up with assholes like you anymore. I dealt with that shit way too much back in Phoenix and I'm not going to do it here."
"Ah, so based on your impressions of guys back in Phoenix, you're going to judge all the guys here before you ever spend any real time with them, huh?" He replied smugly.
"Well, considering I've already spent some time with you, my judgment isn't too far off."
Take that, you holier-than-thou jerk-off.
Of course, he responded in his typical asshole way…he stared right ahead, his jaw set, and his hands gripping the steering wheel pretty damn tightly. Apparently, he did not like what I had said. Served him right. Like I was going to give him another chance. He'd pretty much blown the only one he was going to get and he was pretty fucking lucky he had gotten the chance he did. But not like I was actually going to tell him that.
As soon as his stupid shiny Volvo pulled into the driveway, I grabbed my stuff and got out of there as fast as I could. He didn't even say anything to me as I left but I suppose I didn't really either. Screw this, I was so done. The entire night was one big awkward, infuriating train wreck of a mess and I was willing to guess that Prickward was congratulating himself at that very moment for making me as uncomfortable and angry as possible. I had tried to be productive and get this project done in one piece, I really did but he did nothing but piss me off every chance he got.
This means fucking war, asshole. War.
So the big project is finally under way and...yes, I do work at a video store and yes, those movies really exist. Let me know what you thought!!
