A/N: I'm back! Sorry for the long wait I was super busy! But hopefully I will be able to update sooner next time! Anyways thanks to everyone for the reviews and a lot of you actually gave me a lot of ideas for some of the characters! Anyways it's Yuuki's turn! And just a reminder I don't know the story line off the top of my head so like I said if some of the information is incorrect I apologize but again it is all for fun! And Nitianna thanks for the tip! I have also made it a parody! :D

And I tried to make Yuuki's situation from Episode 7 (not sure what chapter) after she yelled at Zero then was sleeping on the couch. P.S I HATE the part after Zero pulls the blanket over her more and she wakes to see Kaname leave the room and thinks it's him who did it! D: it drives me insane why can't she see Zero! …Anyways…

Disclaimers: I DO NOT! Own the characters they belong to Matsuri Hino, and the creators of the sassy gay friend on you tube, the story idea doesn't even belong to me only the situation they are in. Anyways enjoy the story!

What Might have happened if Yuuki had a Sassy Gay friend

Meet Yuuki Cross, she has just yelled at Zero during his target practice accusing him of spying on her thoughts through her blood. She is about to come to the revelation that Kaname is the most important person to her. This fate could have been avoided if she had a Sassy gay friend.

"Innocence is a sin!" the voice in Yuuki's head screamed making her shiver. She closed her eyes bringing her knees to her chest.

"What, what, what are you thinking!" yelled a tall fashionable man pointing at Yuuki who was sleeping on the small couch.

"The voices are telling me things!" Yuuki cried.

"The voices?" he asked as if he were talking to the insane. "Do they tell you tips on a better hairstyle and clothes?"

"N-no?" Yuuki replied confused.

"Then ignore them you maniac, maybe we should change the title from 'Vampire Knight' to 'Crazy brunette girl with split ends who is unsure if she is a schizophrenic or not!'" he gasped planting his hands on his hips. "But do you know why they don't call it that?" he asked. Yuuki shook her head. "Because no one wants to watch a show about that! It's like having Siegfried with no Roy, it doesn't make sense and leaves the audience frustrated and confused! Besides what are the voices even telling you?"

"That innocence is a sin!"

"Innocence is a sin?" he asked slow and deliberately. "What does that even mean? Making chocolate cake so delicious only to have it go to your thighs is a sin!" he gasped in horror. "Honey your innocence is no sin. Is there anything else?"

"Well I-I don't know about my past and I think that Kaname is somehow related to it!"

"Well have you asked him about it?" he asked softly.

"W-well no," she replied.

"Well then there you go. And spoiler alert for you, Kaname is your brother. You are a pureblood princess and you're mother transformed you into a human when you were younger to save you from your crazy uncle Rido."

"Kaname is…I'm a…" Yuuki trailed off.

"Yes, but to have that all back, comes with a price," he said shortly.

"What?" Yuuki asked leaning forward.

"Zero."

"No," she said slowly, eyes widening.

"Yes," the Sassy gay friend replied. "So you're going to have to pull on your big girl pants and choose. And let me tell you, just because one has amazing hair does not mean he is the better choice…" he trailed off knowing she knew he was talking about Kaname.

"B-but, I love Kaname he saved my life!" Yuuki defended.

"Kaname, I love you, I owe you. He's you're relative for crying out loud! If a rapist saved you from falling off of a bridge would you owe your life to him?- No, you brush yourself off because you do not know where his hands have been, quickly thank him then high tail it outta there!" his speech grew louder near the end.

"Then what do you want me to do?" Yuuki asked sitting up on the small couch.

"Well your going to step away from the voices in your head, go find that stupid emo bitch-"

"Zero?" Yuuki asked quietly.

"Yes, you are going to tell him how you feel- really feel."

"How I really feel?"

"Did I stutter?" he asked sassily. "Yes, tell him you love him; cause you do. You two are going to run away to some place where neither of you are near vampires or the flamboyant man with the glasses-"

"Headmaster?" she asked.

"Don't interrupt me," the man shot. "And yes I meant him. Then you are going to have Zero's beautiful babies and live happily ever after."

"But what about Kaname?" she asked feeling ache to leave him.

"Oh I will have a chat with him, he could do so much better…" he mumbled.

"What?" Yuuki asked.

"I think your shoes are amazing where did you get them," he lied while also distracting her.

"Oh, just a shop in town when I was with Zero-"

"With Zero how it should be. Now you go and find him you stupid bitch and-"

"Tell him I love him!" she smiled jumping from the couch. The sassy gay friend smiled rising from the couch.

"Stop interrupting me before I rip your hair from that pretty little head, and go find your prince in shining armor, P.S he may be in some emo corner, but you can take him away from that and show him the light!" he smiled watching the girl run off.

"And also!" he began only to see the girl was gone. "Oh well," he smiled waving his hand. "She was a stupid bitch anyways," he smiled proudly.

So sorry if this one wasn't as funny but I tried my hardest! Let me know what you think and this time I left it as a surprise to who I will do next! Duh duh duhhh! Cue the evil music! Anyways hope you enjoyed!