Chapter 3

Ed sat quietly across the room from Roy. Something was nagging at the back of his head that getting close to soon would be…awkward?

Roy was just as confused as Ed, yes he loved Ed for all that he was possibly worth, but he felt…distant? Maybe?

'Fuck I don't know!' Roy thought rubbing his eyes. 'I want to bend him over right here and now, but….' Roy sighed. 'I can't something won't let me! It's to soon, and I don't know'

Ed looked over at Roy when he heard him sigh, "You ok?"

"Hmm…Yeah…" Roy said standing, "I think I need to lay down for a little while."

"Ok, sleep good." Ed said picking up and newspaper.

Roy left the room, changed out of his military uniform and buried himself under the covers of his bed. 'One minute he is in my arms the next…it's like we are scared of each other.' Roy felt a tear brim his eye, 'No crying.' Roy heard the door open and close, "I hope he is just smoking…why'd he pick up that damned habit? Does he feel he needs a substance to feel normal?' Roy thought angrily. "Being angry won't help matters any." Roy said out loud. Roy laid there his head spinning until he drifted off lightly.


Ed exhaled a puff of smoke and took another drag. 'This is so awkward. It's like we are scared of each other.'

Ed slowly let the smoke out his nose.

"I'm not liking this situation." Ed said out loud a mixture of smoke and steam leaving his mouth.

'We need to talk, but…damn it I don't want him to think he is doing wrong. And I don't want to do wrong.'

Another drag.

'But I can't live in silence.'

Exhale.

'We have to talk when he wakes.'

Ed took a long drag finishing his cigarette and stood before dropping the cigarette on the ground and going back into the house to lie down on the couch.


'No, no go back to sleep!' Roy told himself pulling the cover over his head.

A sigh a defeat left Roy's mouth before he stood. Nausea washed over Roy's body and he sat back down on the bed rubbing his face.

"I want this shit to stop." Roy said aloud.

After giving himself a moment to calm his stomach Roy stood and went into the living room. Ed was lying on the couch, back to the world.

'I'll grab my book and read in my room then.' Roy thought and slowly walked across the room.

Ed turned and looked over his shoulder at Roy then sat up. "You're awake." Ed stated.

Roy turned an looked at Ed, "So are you."

Ed only nodded in response.

Roy sat down and looked at Ed. "You look troubled."

"I am. I'm just so confused at the moment." Ed admitted.

"Oh?" Roy pushed on.

"About us…I know I left, and I know I shouldn't have. I also understand this will take time for you to…gain your trust back in me." Ed paused but the look on Roy's face urged him on. "But if we don't talk about this, or at lest talk, we'll never be happy with each other again."

"I'm confused too, I wanted you back so bad but, now that you're here I don't know what to do."

Ed sighed, "Maybe you just thought that-"

"There is no way I just thought that! Edward I still love you!"

"Love takes trust!" Ed snapped. Roy's eyes widened at Ed's outburst. "You may still love me, but it hurts to love someone if you know they don't trust you!"

"How do you think it feels when you think, this one is staying but when you wake up he is gone!" Roy snapped. "It's not a fucking walk in the park!"

"I made a mistake! I'm not making that again!"

"Why'd you walk out in the first place?" Roy asked calmed down somewhat.

"Because, I was getting in the way! I am to much of problem and I don't want to be a burden!"

"I would have, still will tell you! You are no burden! Damn it I wanted you to live with me so I could help! You where going to die! I knew what I was getting myself into! I knew it was going to interfere with the rest of my life! I was willing then! Before I knew I loved you! But when I found out that you were worse than you looked…I vowed to do whatever it took to make you happy again!" Roy's voice lowered, "When you left I didn't search for you because I wanted you to be happy in your life. If it meant loosing you for you to stay away from alcohol, drugs, and…suicide. I'd loose you. I would still give you up if that's what it took to keep you alive." Roy felt tears in his eyes.

"I- I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought I was helping you!" Ed said feeling close to tears himself.

"You're stupid! You thought! Don't think! Come to me and ask for help!" Roy said a tear rolled down his cheek, "Stupid!"

They sat in silence for a moment until Roy broke it, "I'm scared you'll leave again if I say or do something wrong. It's not a lack of trust, though it should be, hell maybe it is I just don't know!"

A tear rolled down Ed's cheek, "We'll get this figured out. As for lack of trust, I don't know. It sounds to me you still want to trust me and your lying to yourself saying you do when really you don't know what to do or think. Time, we'll give it time; and we have plenty of it." Ed said standing.

"I'm not lying to anyone, I trust you! I'm just scared!" Roy snapped standing.

Ed looked at Roy and also stood, "Trust me then, I won't leave you, I'm staying. I truly thought I was helping."

"How the hell was leaving going to help me, when you're the only thing I want in my life!?" Roy finally yelled.

Ed flinched, "I don't make you any money! I was holding-"

"I don't give a fuck! Edward Elric you're my life! Now damn it! What do I have to say to make you understand that?" Roy asked firmly.

Ed blinked a few times and looked down, his long blond bangs covering his eyes. Roy just glared at Ed until he saw Ed's shoulders tremble a tears hit the floor. Sighing Roy embraced Edward, "Hey, calm down." Roy said softly.

Ed was hesitant to respond to Roy's embrace. Sobs broke through Ed's body as he clung to Roy burying his face into the other's chest.

Minutes passed until Ed calmed, he realized Roy too had been crying. Ed started to move away from Roy when he realized a difference in the feel of Roy's sides. He quickly ran his hand over his ribs, solid muscle no long covered the bones only skin. Ed looked up at Roy whom was looking at the floor to the left. "Don't" Roy stated.

"No!" Ed reached up with his flesh hand lightly grabbing Roy's chin turning his face. He looked horrible, sick, stressed, tried, pained, and sick again. "Tell me why your throwing up!" Ed demanded.

"No…Ed, just no." Roy said softly. Turning his face away.

"Tell me!" Ed begged worry, and fear in his voice.

"I can't."

"Why the hell can't you!?" Ed asked tears brimming his eyes.

Roy turned a glare and rude come back on the tip of his tongue, but the look on Ed's face, and the concern in his eyes stopped him.

"Just tell me please." Ed said softly hugging Roy, laying his head on Roy's chest.

Roy sighed heavily and returned Ed's embrace, "Berrett said stress caused it and lack of sleep on top of that. He gave me a strong sleep aid, pointless. The nightmares still wake me up." Roy admitted.

Ed clenched his teeth, closed his eyes, and squeezed Roy before sobs returned to his body. "I've broken you completely!" Ed cried.

"But you can fix me." Roy said softly.

"Go eat, please," Ed said letting go of Roy.

Sighing Roy nodded.

"I'll fix you something, what do you want?" Ed offered wiping his eyes.

"Cereal, I'll fix it on my own." Roy said.

"Let me," Ed said walking to the kitchen.

Roy sighed and sat down.

Ed returned with a bowl of cold cereal, "Hope this is ok, it's the only thing you have."

"Perfect," Roy said and slowly started eating.

"You…kept that?" Ed asked nodding at his old hair tie wrapped around Roy's wrist.

"Just the same as you kept that chain." Roy said with a sad smile.

Ed hung his head low and tears rolled down his cheeks to the floor, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be, you're only human." Roy said.

Ed turned grabbing his cigarettes and stood head still low.

"You can smoke in the house, Edward. That ashtray you made for Havoc is under the sink." Roy faked a smile.

"I need to quit smoking anyway." Ed said sitting down his cigarettes.

"I don't mind it." Roy said.

"No I really need to," Ed said and sat back down.

Roy nodded, "I was wondering, where did you go?"

"A crowded little place in Rush Valley." Ed looked to his left and confusion flashed over his features. "Those books…"

"The list Pinako gave me." Roy said, "I always hoped you would come back, and I don't think you'd really want to go back to Winry."

"Well you got that right, but there are other mechanics. You didn't have to do that."

"I know." Roy studied Ed for a moment, "Who did you get in a fight with?"

"My eye is black isn't it?" Ed asked.

"Yeah, and you have a busted lip."

"Well, I knew that. Just a few guys, they got pissed because I kicked their buddy's ass."

"Why did you do that?"

"I found it necessary when he had me cornered, plus what dumb ass tries to rob someone like me?" Ed said with a smirk.

"So your ok then? Nothing broken?" Roy asked.

"No, just bumps and bruises." Ed said, "What time is it?"

"Almost four," Roy said looking down at his half eaten cereal, "I can't finish this, here you can have the rest."

"You're going to eat before you go to sleep for the night, right?" Ed asked standing.

"I'll try, it's not a promise." Roy said holding you the bowl to Ed.

Ed finished the cereal and took the bowl into the kitchen. Roy was sitting in the same chair reading over a newspaper. Ed grabbed one of the books in the pile.

Hours pasted, "I still can't make heads or tails of this bullshit!"

Roy looked up from a book he had picked up after finishing reading the paper, one brow arched, "Well it is complex…but so is alchemy…"

"The nerves is what I don't get…" Ed said flipping a few pages back.

"Well…"

"Don't explain it! I give up! All I need to know is that these damn things are working." Ed said tossing the book away.

Roy simply smiled at Ed, "Hot headed as always."

Ed looked at Roy when a knock sounded on the door. Roy stood and went to answer the door.

Roy returned holding a box of take out with a reluctant look on his face, Riza and Jean walked in behind him.

Jean sitting where Roy had been, Riza looked at Ed then Roy, "How are things?" She asked carefully.

"Ok…" Roy said giving Ed a questioning look.

"Tense, these things take time." Ed replied simply sitting up straighter so Riza and Roy could sit comfortably on the couch.

"Where should I sit?" She asked.

"Where ever, if you want to sit by Ed go for it, if not it's not like I'll turn to ash." Roy smiled.

"My lap is free!" Jean chirped patting his thigh.

"I'll sit there." She laughed.

Roy sat next to Ed on the couch and put a timid hand on his knee.

"We mainly just wanted to bring you something to eat, there should be plenty for Ed too, and to see if you were ok." Jean said as Riza sat down.

"I'm fine, getting better by the second." Roy said squeezing Ed's flesh knee.

Riza and Jean smiled, "We'll go then."

"Only if you want to." Roy said moving his hand. Ed was looking at the floor.

Riza looked at Ed then to Roy, "See you tomorrow?"

"I don't know." Roy smirked halfheartedly.

"Don't get yourself demoted, you are on thin ice anyway." Jean said standing beside Riza.

"I'm aware of that."

Ed snapped his head around and looked at Roy then back to Riza.

"Bye then." Riza and Jean said walking to and out the door.

"Walking on thin ice?" Ed asked.

"Yea, I haven't been doing my job right and refused a few missions. I didn't feel that I 'needed' to go." Roy explain standing and stretching with a yawn.

"Eat?" Ed asked.

"Ehhh…..no!" Roy said putting his hand over his stomach.

"You need to eat! All you've eaten is half a bowl of-"

"Of I don't care I'm not eating." Roy interrupted walking away.

"Hey! Don't walk away from me!"

"You sound like a woman!" Roy laughed taking his shirt off before walking into his room.

"Damn it Mustang! You have to eat to live!" Ed called.

"Not tonight I don't!" Roy called back, "I've eaten less!"

"Damn it! I can see your ribs!" Ed said walking into Roy's room.

Roy was standing beside the bed he looked down at his own body, "Heh…that's weird I can too!"

"Please eat…" Ed asked standing in the door way.

"Ed, I can't eat a lot… my stomach has shrunk…they do that if you don't eat properly or throw up on a nightly bases."

Ed lowered his head, "Sorry…"

"Don't cry…please don't." Roy said sadly.

"I'm not!" Ed snapped looking up. "Goodnight then." Ed said turning away.

Roy sighed and looked down at his lonely bed before burying himself under the covers.


(A/N)

That was difficult to write... -sigh- tis done! I'm SOOOO sorry for the dely but you need power to write on computer. An Ice Storm hit and left me without power for days.

If you want something to happen in this story tell me! please! just please don't get offended if i don't use your idea, I'll mention your penname as a credit! Please review! Please!


ATTENTION ALL VAMPIRE AND OC LOVERS!!!!!!!!!

Go check out the story Lost and Found by Mischivious Angels

That is a story a friend and I are writing! It is a RoyEd.

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