A/N: I HAVE RETURNED. More A/N rantings after the story.
Chapter 3
Pink Carnations
~.o.~
"It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all."
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam
~.o.~
September 18, 1997
"You know, Severus, when she came to me, I could barely contain my excitement. Of course, I had to do my job and tell her all the teacherly stuff, such as not changing anything from the past and whatnot, Can't have her being suspicious, can I?" said Minerva as she sipped her tea.
Severus visibly stiffened.
"What if she actually follows what you told her? She is Hermione Granger, and she always follows rules, to my utter dismay," drawled Severus, gritting his teeth.
Minerva smiled behind her tea.
"You forget, dear Severus, that Hermione is a Gryffindor, and they love nothing else but breaking rules."
September 18, 1978
Walking down the corridors of Hogwarts 1978 was surreal. The same old ghosts zoomed by, passing through people with nonchalance; the same merry portraits hung, waving at the students that passed by. That was the only thing that didn't feel welcome to Hermione – the students. She didn't know any of them, and none of them knew her. Their curious eyes followed her back as she walked briskly to McGonagall's office, disliking the attention she was garnering.
As her Mary Janes clacked against the stone floors quickly, Hermione turned a corner sharply to head to 1978 McGonagall's office ("The one I used before I was Headmistress," Minerva of her present had told her). She met with what seemed like a solid wall, collided with it, and fell flat on her arse.
"Padfoot! I told you to watch it!" sighed a weary voice in an 'I-told-you-so' tone.
"Shut it, Moony, and just help me up," grumbled another.
Hermione, testing her limbs for any damage, looked up to see three of the infamous Marauders standing in front of her. Except for Sirius, that is, who was in a similar position as she was, so technically he wasn't standing.
"Sorry, I-" Hermione started.
"No apologies necessary, kitten," grinned Sirius, winking at her.
How he managed to have the gall to act cool despite the fact that he just fell flat on his arse was beyond Hermione's comprehension.
"My fault, really. Was in a bit of a rush, you see," he said, as he took Remus' outstretched hand and allowed himself to be pulled up.
"You and I both," laughed Hermione, trying to push herself up.
Sirius held a hand out to her, and she took it, smiling her thanks. He pulled her up, and kept his customary grin plastered wide on his face.
"Well then, kitten. I've yet to see you around Hoggy-Wartty Hogwarts," he said, holding on to her hand a bit too long before letting it go, brushing invisible dust out of his robes instead.
"New student," Hermione supplied, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder.
"I don't suppose you've been sorted yet?" inquired Sirius, looking at her with his depthless sky blue eyes.
"Not yet. I do hope I'd get into Gryffindor, though," replied Hermione truthfully.
She just couldn't imagine being anywhere else. Ravenclaw? Maybe. Hufflepuff? Not so much. Slytherin? Hermione Granger in Slytherin?
"It would be an absolute pleasure if you do," grinned Sirius. "There are some mighty fine men in Gryffindor, like Remus here," he said, gesturing to a softly smiling, sandy haired Lupin, "and Peter," he continued, tilting his head over at the pudgy, rat-faced man, "and Yours Truly," he concluded, bowing dramatically.
Before Hermione could reply, a blonde haired Racenclaw was suddenly by Sirius' side. A bit startled, Sirius recovered by grinning at the blonde and placing an arm around her.
If Hermione wasn't mistaken, she was sure she saw Remus flinch. Just a bit. Studying him, she saw his eyes trying to look anywhere except at Sirius and the Ravelcaw, only to uncontrollably glance at them now and then.
"Kitten, let me introduce my girlfriend, Astra Greenwood," said Sirius with hidden reluctance.
The blonde Ravenclaw smiled gently, and extended her hand. "Nice to meet you," she said.
Hermione returned the gesture. "Nice to meet you, too. I'm Hermione Granger."
Then it dawned on her that she was in the past, and she just gave up her real name. Mentally slapping herself, she unconsciously chewed on her lip, looking at the Marauders with doom witten all over her face as if they'd recognize her.
"That's a pretty name," Sirius grinned, when his girlfriend Astra elbowed him in the ribs.
At the same time, Hermion let out a breath of relief. That was close. Got to be more careful, Hermione, she told herself in her mind.
"He said that to me the first time we met, too," Astra laughed, playfully slapping Sirius' arm away from her shoulder.
Astra's somewhat high-pitched voice shook Hermione from her thoughts of self-scolding on being more alert. Hermione was about to say something when Remus beat her to it.
"I told you that one day you'd end up being exposed for recycling your lines, mate," chuckled Remus as he slid his two hands in his pants pockets.
Remus, minus the beard, the scars on his face, and with slightly more controlled sandy blonde hair looked exactly as Hermione imagined him to be. She had always wondered how her present Professor would look 30 years bacck, and now that she was quite in that specific time frame, she couldn't help smiling as she watched the corners of his mouth perk up.
"Hogwash," said Sirius nonchalantly, waving a hand in the air in a shooing gesture.
Before anyone from the group could say any more, Astra, with her bottle green eyes, started pulling on Sirius' arm.
"We'll be late; we have potions with Slughorn next," she half-whined.
Hermione's mind was in overdrive. She couldn't understand Astra Greenwood at all. At first, the blonde appeared to be one of the pretty and quiet types that was somehow always disconnected from reality and hard to reach. Sort of like Luna. But then she started getting really clingy to Sirius, whining and pouting like some...well, love sick puppy. Ironic, that Sirius is a dog, too.
Sirius looked like he wanted to say something, but he let Astra pull him away and settled with winking a goodbye to Hermione. Peter Pettigrew waddled after them.
"What is it with him and winking anyway?" Hermione chuckled as she watched Sirius and Astra's retreating backs, without realizing that she had said what was meant to be for her own mind out loud.
A hearty but light laugh came from behind her, startling her into turning around. She was met with the sight of Remus Lupin, hand over his mouth, eyes squinted with mirth, and trying but failing to contain his laughter. She forgot he hadn't left yet.
"Remus?" Hermione called worriedly, though smiling. She had never seen him like that before, and though it wasn't exactly an unwelcomed sight, it made her wonder if he had a few screws loose...especially with the way he was doubling up in silent laughter, his face almost red and lacking oxygen.
Remus started gasping for breath, still mildly laughing. Hermione watched him in amusement, until he calmed down.
"My apologies. It's just that I had thought that I was the only one who noticed Sirius'...knack of winking," chuckled Remus, wiping happy tears from his eyes.
"There must be something wrong with him, really. Though I'm afraid to ask what; it isn't normal to keep winking like that," joked Hermione, giggling a bit.
Remus craned his neck in all directions, as if checking for anyone who might hear them. The hallway was still littered with a few students, so he leaned into Hermione until his mouth was by her ear, his hand cupping over it.
"I'll let you in on a secret: Sirius' left eye twitches ocassionally, but often it does so when he's nervous. Usually it's just a small twitch; unnoticable, really. But when he's really nervous, the twitch somehow intsifies, so he converts it into a wink to save face," he whispered.
Hermione could swear that Remus was grinning, even if she couldn't see if he was.
When Remus finally leaned back, he was grinning like the wolf that he is and Hermione started laughing.
"You're not serious, are you?" she laughed.
"No, I'm Remus," he said matter-of-factly, with such a straight face that it made Hermione life despite the numerous times she already heard that joke.
Remus joined her and broke out laughing, as Hermione gasped in-between laughs, "I can't believe you just said that joke!"
"Neither can I! Oh Merlin, this just proves how I spend too much time with Padfoot," laughed Remus. "Padfoot meaning Sirius. That's his nickname, per se," explained Remus.
"You must be good friends with him, then," smiled Hermione.
Remus' smile wavered a bit, but it steadied and he simply nodded.
There's something going on between those two, thought Hermione.
"Well, I must get going. I have to get all the way down to the dungeons for Potions," said Remus, his cheeks suddenly tinging pink as he looked away from Hermione's eyes and shuffled his feet.
Hermione bit back a smile. He looked like a shy 10 year-old! He was fine with her awhile ago, what made him so shy all of a sudden?
"Yes, yes, of course. I apologize for having detained you," said Hermione.
"No, no, it's a pleasure meeting you, Hermione," replied Remus, seeming to have mustered enough courage to look at her and offer a slight bow of a head and a smile before rushing off at a brirk walk.
Since when was Remus Lupin a shy person? Hermione thought, amused, as she turned around to head to McGonagall's office.
Severus was in a bad mood today.
Not only did he have to run into a new troublesome girl, but he just had to be humiliated by the juvenille Marauders yet again.
And in front ot Lily, too.
And get rejected.
Again.
Well, it stopped mattering, really. He didn't need Lily's consent or approval or anything of that sort. He already stopped trying to win her affections since the 3rd time she rejected him.
Awhile ago was the 27th time.
But hey, who's counting?
Not Severus.
That's why he has a vase of 26 yellow tulips by the windowside in his secret room; a hidden room, of course, that no one in the whole Hogwarts knew about except him.
That's where Severus found himself stalking off to after the happy little event with the Marauders, Lily, and the new girl. That was after he picked up something from his dorm, thought.
Ignoring everyone else he passed as he usually did, he was about to head to the Library when he passed by Lupin and the new girl, laughing together. He almost laughed out of spite.
Seems Lupin has finally surrendered on one-sided loves that his 'friend' causes. Moved on, have we? Severus thought, smirking in his mind as he walked past the two.
Something was different with Lupin, though.
That was a new girl; someone he had yet to talk to before minutes cowardly shyness should have surfaced by now, rendering him speechless and incapable of any coherent thought, as what usually happens when in front of strangers (more specifically, women).
Pray tell, then, where his shyness has gone?
Discarding the question from his mind, Severus walked briskly to the Library and to the section that no one ever dares to dwell to: Muggle History. Not even Arthur Weasley, who was one of the prideful Gryffindors and fearless ambassador of all things Muggle, never came to this section. Who would want to read about the two worst subjects in the entire world: Muggles, and History?
The section in itself was particularly hidden, quite in the back of the library where most useless sections go, like Fairies (why there was a whole section of 3 shelves devoted to Fairies, Severus had no idea) and Floriography.
Useless for most, but not for Severus. He stopped by the Floriography section, took a few books off one of the shelves, and headed deeper into the Muggle History section. Reaching the 3rd out of 5 shelves in the particular section, Severus brought out his wand and tapped the shelf.
The shelf slid to the side, allowing him entrance to his secret room. As he stepped inside, the candlebras flickered to life and the shelf slid back into place behind him, hiding the entrance. He trudged across the faded red carpet, lying across the dusty cobblestoned floor, and sat by the windowsill that held a large window (almost 10 feet) and had a view of the black lake. A single lone tree stood by its shore, swaying as the wind blew against it.
Severus reached into his robes and pulled out a white tulip. He placed it in his crystal vase, tucked inside the other tulips.
27.
27 tulips.
27 times rejected.
Severus had stopped caring if he got rejected.
But that didn't mean it stopped hurting.
He opened one of the Floriography books he took from the shelves and randomly picked a page.
Carnation (Pink) – symbolizes "I'll never forget you," "Always on my mind"
Severus groaned.
Great. Now even books were mocking him.
Taking a deep breath, Hermione knocked on Minerva Mcgonagall's door.
"Come in," called a muffled voice from inside.
Hermione opened the door and stepped inside. She had braced herself for an unfamiliar McGonagall, but she was admittedly disappointed when she saw that this McGonagall looked just like her present one! Albeit with darker hair, but the rest were the same!
"And who, may I ask, do I have the pleasure of meeting? A new student? I see you already got your Hogwarts robes," said Minerva, peering at her from behind her spectacles, quill in hand.
Hermione took another deep breath and reached under her shirt, grasping the cool chain of the Time Turner.
"Professor, my name is Hermione Granger," she began. Pulling out the time turner and showing it to McGonagall, she continued, "and I'm from 1997."
Minerva stared at her blankly, her mouth slightly agape.
Hermione took this as a chance to prove herself.
"I know you in 1997. You used to be my Transfiguration teacher a few years back. I'm currently a 7th year, and now you're Headmistress of Hogwarts. I approached your future self, asking if I could come back to this time and help Severus Snape. He's a Professor at Hogwarts too in 1997, you see, but he's really very miserable, and I asked your future self if I could just try and help him a bit..."
Minerva then spoke up, though she sounded skeptical. "You said that I am Headmistress? In the time you came from?"
"Yes," answered Hermione softly, suddenly scared to deliver the news that 1997 McGonagall asked her to – news and facts that would prove how she's from the future.
"What about..."
"Albus Dumbledore?" said Hermione softly.
Minerva didn't make a single twitch or utter any sound. Minerva's eyes, however, told Hermione that the old lady was preparing for the worst.
Hermione found herself whispering, "He's dead."
Minerva's eyes widened.
After a few seconds of silence, she started sputtering, "This is all nonsense, I shouldn't be bothered with this-"
"Your future self!" Hermione interrupted hastily. "She told me to tell you something! Told me a secret that only you would know, to help prove that I do know your future self, and that I am from the future."
"What secret? I have no secrets, I-"
"You love Albus Dumbledore!" Hermione blurted, her eyes suddenly blurry from the tears.
As she looked into past McGonagall's wide eyes, she couldn't help remembering the talk she had with 1997 McGonagall when she asked to borrow the time turner.
"You'll have to convince my past self," McGonagall had told her, fiddling with her pink carnation brooch. "I'll tell you my deepest secret, something I am the only one who knows.
"Tell my past self that...that I...and she...both of us...we love Albus Dumbledore."
Hermione had gasped, then. "Professor-"
Minerva had held up a hand. "Questions when you return, Hermione. But I'll answer one. Just one."
"Why didn't you tell him -"
"Because he's in love with someone else," the Professor had stated simply. "and that someone else is a man. And Albus is gone. He is dead."
That was when Hermione understood why McGonagall wore different robes and dresses, but only ever wore one brooch, the same one all the time.
A pink carnation.
"I'll never forget you."
A/N: My dear readers, I am sorry for the horribly long time it took to update. School is my worst enemy. I also apologize for any grammar and/or spelling mistakes. I have yet to install spell check on my newly acquired Linux OS. :))
Review if you missed me and would want another update before I get horribly busy again :
