Chapter 3: Blame Me

I feel sick. Like about to hurl until you're doing that awful coughing retching thing because you have nothing left in your stomach kind of sick. And my head is sore. And I think I may be dying. Or dead. It would suck if I was dead though, because death shouldn't hurt this much. Ugh fuck this sucks. I shifted my legs slightly and frowned, groaning from pain as I attempted to open my eyes.

"Isabella?" That voice . . . Who was that? Their voice was deep and smooth and liquid . . . it made me feel better just by existing. It reminded me of melted chocolate and days on the beach and good memories. Happiness. I moaned at the sound of this voice, warmth pooling in my stomach. I moved my legs, my muscles feeling strange.

"Isabella? Please wake up! Please talk to me!" Now the voice ad a tinge of panic in it, but it was still the most incredible thing I had heard. I worked to open my eyes and finally, they fluttered open.

"Isabella? Oh thank god." I turned my head awkwardly towards the source of the voice and was surprised to see . . . Caius? Why on earth is he here? And why on earth does he have the most perfect voice in the universe? And why is he worried?

"Hello Caius." I croaked, frowning at him. He looked at me, relief evident on his face.

"You're alright" He said breathlessly. I reached up my hand and touched his face.

"I'm fine. Got a wicked headache but I'm sure that that will leave soon. I'm alright." I told him with a smile. He looked down at me, smiling back as he reached up one of his hands pressing in on top of mine and pressing them to his face as he rested his cold cheek on my hand. He turned his head and softly left a lingering kiss on my palm. I bit my lip, shifting my hips in the bed. He noticed this and smirked down at me, then teasingly ran his tongue over my wrists, just like I had in the corridor earlier. I gasped at the touch of his cool tongue, my free hand reaching up to tangle my fingers in his hair as I wiggled up the bed a bit.

He leaned down and ran his nose along my collarbone, dropping my hand. He inhaled deeply and then groaned, from pleasure or pain, I wasn't sure. My hand now rested on his back, a thin layer of fabric separating my warm hand from his cool skin. I pressed it flat against his robes, trying to encourage him closer. His tongue darted out and kicked the hollow of my neck. I groaned and arched my neck, exposing more of my skin to this vampire king who entranced me so. He made his way up my neck, licking and sniffing while I whimpered, moaned and made all sorts of other embarrassing noises. Then suddenly we were face to face, the tip of his nose nearly brushing mine as I stared into the depths of his black eyes. He was thirsty. But for what?

Then his lips were on mine and fuck it, I didn't care.

Oh god his lips. They cool and supple and smooth and the way he kissed. . . I felt like if kissing was all we ever did together I would be happy. It felt like my body was just coming alive, as if I was feeling for the first time and oh did I feel. I moaned into the kiss, my hand in his hair pushing hard onto the back of his head. He used the opportunity to lightly touch my tongue with his and I nearly collapsed again. His taste exploded in my mouth. He tasted of the tang of metal and the way that good colognes smell, that's how he tasted. He tasted of feelings. He tasted of strength and happiness and explosions and he tasted of the way I was feeling.

I groaned into his mouth and attempted to pull him closer. One of his hands was braced next to my head on the pillow and the other was under the covers stroking the shape of my waist. His tongue began to retreat back into his own mouth, so I followed it with mine. This kiss was my whole world for what felt like an eternity. I pulled away to breathe and his lips just moved to my jaw and then neck, sucking and licking and making even more embarrassing noises emerge from my lips. As he got to my pulse point, he sucked hard and then I felt his sharp teeth scrape my skin and I let out an involuntary cry.

Then it all stopped.

He was by the door, glaring at me and snarling. I sat up in the bed and blinked, confused. He looked me up and down and then looked away with a disdainful look, as if finding me lacking. I gaped at him for a second, and then the confusion vanished and all that was left was anger.

"What the fuck? Are you bi-polar? What the hell is wrong with you?" I yelled at him angrily. This was the third time today he had done this!

"Shut up you idiotic human. Don't talk about things that you do not understand." He said coldly, his nose up in the air as if I was a bad smell.

"What? WHAT? Listen here dickhead, alright? You do not get to fuck with me any longer! You seem to think that I am some toy that you can play with when you get horny and then drop when you get bored. Well I am not your whore! Go fuck someone else you wanker! Go! LEAVE! GET THE FUCK OUT!" I was screaming towards the end, and my voice cracked embarrassingly.

"Human do not pretend you have any power here. I am more powerful than you could ever imagine and I-" I screamed wordlessly at his arrogant face and to my surprise, he was pushed out of the open door. I sat up in bed, frowning towards the door, the pain in my head forgotten as I considered what had just happened.

"Caius?" I called out quietly, unsure what kind of mood he would be in. God, I hope I didn't hurt him! Why did I care so much anyway? He was being a total dick. You can't just switch around like that. I do actually have feelings, even though I am just a 'stupid human'. He's and idiot. I hope he's ok . . . I am just a human. I shouldn't be able to hurt him. Right? Then again, I shouldn't be able to move things with my mind and that just happened so I don't even know anymore.

"Isabella? Are you in here?" A soft call came through the open door. I looked up quickly, unreasonably hoping to see white blond hair and black eyes but instead Aro stood there.

"Oh hello Aro. How are you?" I tried to not sound quite as disappointed as I actually was to see him and not . . . a different king altogether.

"Oh my dear, I am perfectly fine. It is yourself that you should be worried about. Why, Caius was positively frantic when you collapsed in the library! You should really work on keeping yourself in one unbroken piece! We were all very concerned." I raised an eyebrow at Aro and refused to answer, unwilling to scoff aloud to the king's face. I think he got the message anyway because he frowned at me and then looked away.

"Now Isabella, we have some things I would like to discuss with you," He said this in a very calm voice, which made me very nervous.

"What?" I said cautiously, knowing the danger of discussion.

"Why is it that when the doctor came here to look you over, he said that you showed signs of a long period of physical abuse?" I couldn't help it. When his words reached my ears, I panicked. My face drained of blood and I felt physically ill. Aro frowned at me unblinkingly while I tried to control my shaking hands.

"W-what? No! I'm just clumsy." I tried for a smile but it felt pained, more of a grimace. Aro shook his head slowly at me.

"Isabella you really are awful at lying." He said, sounding disappointed. I started to shake and shifted away from Aro on the bed. Disappointed. Always fucking disappointed. I covered my mouth with a shaking hand, curling into a ball in an attempt to be safe from the new danger in my life. He would enjoy it too. I knew this was too good to be true. Edward wouldn't just leave me. He's here and he's oh so mad.

"Isabella, no! I would never hurt you. You are safe here, we are here to protect you." I shied away and whimpered as Aro reached out to touch me. He looked at me, confusion and sadness in his eyes and he called for Marcus. Marcus arrived and there was a quick flurry of movement as the brothers discussed before Marcus approached me. The King with Kind Eyes. His eyes were so kind.

I trusted him.

When he reached out to me, I didn't move away. I didn't move from my curled up protective position either, but I didn't move away. He laid a hand on my shoulder and started speaking to me quietly.

"Isabella, no one here wants to hurt you. Do you hear me? You are safe now. You are completely and totally safe. Everyone here who has met you already loves you, and I am sure that the rest will fall under your spell after one conversation. What Edward did to you is awful and horrible and it will never happen again. Edward also bought you to us my sweet, let us take care of you."

With a sob, I moved into his arms and he hugged me gently, slowly rocking back and forward.

"I only have one regret about Edward my Isabella, and it is one I hope you will share. My only regret is that my brother had him killed quickly and by some lucky member of the guard. I would much prefer to have him brought back to life only to be torn apart very slowly and then killed by my hand. Oh my only regret is that he did not suffer as much as he should have, as much as he deserved for what he did to you. For what he is still doing."

The violence that normally would have shaken me was comforting, knowing that I had protectors to keep me safe meant that I was finally able to fall asleep.

When I woke up, Marcus was there, smiling tenderly at me. I smiled up at him sleepily, blinking my eyes in an attempt to wake up a bit more.

"Hello Isabella. How are you feeling?" He said tenderly.

I sat up, my head feeling surprisingly amazing.

"Good, actually. Surprisingly, amazingly good." I smiled as Aro poked his head in the door and approached me cautiously.

"Isabella. How are you feeling?"

"Wonderful Aro. Thank you for asking. I apologise for freaking out on both of you earlier. I should have been able to control myself better." I was sincere as I apologised, knowing that my actions towards the kings were inexcusable. They both shook their heads at me.

"Nonsense Isabella!" Aro said, smiling down at me.

"It is completely understandable and completely forgiven," Marcus said, with Aro nodding his head in agreement. I sighed in relief, thinking that they were going to be angry or irritated by my show of weakness.

Just then I noticed Caius sliding his way into the room to stand by the door, leaning against the wall next to the door frame. I frowned at him, unsure and wary of his reason for being there. He nodded stiffly at me, seeming unwilling to move so I just decided to ignore him.

"Now Isabella, we are not mad, however we are slightly . . ." Here Aro trailed of, seemingly lost for words.

"Confused." Marcus input and I nodded slowly, chewing on my bottom lip.

"I can understand that." I said slowly, not wanting to have this conversation. God, I wish I was anywhere but here. Doing anything but this.

"We are unsure as to why you had such a negative reaction, to both the book and to Aros questioning about your . . . previous injuries," Marcus phrased it delicately. I started breathing harder, my eyes already burning as I attempted to will away tears. I could do this; I know I can.

"It's Edward." I said shakily, shutting my eyes and slumping back against the pillows.

"It's always Edward." I murmured, a few traitorous tears slipping down my cheeks.

"He is in my brain and he won't leave. His voice, his smell, his touch. His memory. It's all there inside my head, whispering to me, haunting me. It won't leave me alone! I can't stand it, but I can't seem to make it go away. Anyway, part of me doesn't want it to go away. It's my fault he's dead, I should be the one to keep his memory alive."

"You are incorrect." A gravelly voice from the corner interrupted my rant and I opened my eyes with shock. "It is not your fault he is dead. If it is anyone's, it is mine." My mouth fell open as I looked at him, at Caius, his eyes angled downward, avoiding everyone's gaze as he spoke.

"I ordered him killed. It was my thoughts that caused him to attack me, and my temper that meant that he was not allowed to live. If we are to pass out blame, let me bear this burden, for it is no one's but mine." I gaped at him as he spoke, blinking several times in quick succession, part of me wondering if I was hallucinating this. Then he straightened up and looked me in the eye. I whimpered as his gaze hit me, I had that feeling, the feeling I always got when he looked at me. I was warm and safe and yet so cold and alone and so vulnerable.

"However, it is not truly my fault, nor is it yours. It is his fault. He knew the rules. He knew the consequences of attacking a Volturi King. He knew he could not win and yet he still pounced. He was asking to die, and I awarded him his wish. He made his choice Isabella, and it is no one's fault but his own. I said before that if we were to pass out blame this would be mine. Yet, you see Isabella, we are not passing out blame because there is no blame. It is no one's fault. He was a stupid little boy and he made stupid choices and his death was befitting of that. Soo stop this nonsense and tell us what he did to you, for I am not a patient man and I wish to hear this story."

And with that he sat down beside me, making himself comfortable on my bed as I stared at him in shock.

I took in a deep breath, preparing to tell an as of yet untold story. I shifted my hand slightly, laying it on top of Caius's, his cool skin giving me comfort in a way I did not understand.

I prepared myself to tell them about me and Edward. It was a story of romance, originally, but that was not the bit I was worried about. It was the bit that haunted me that I could not tell, could never tell. That was the bit that when I tried to tell someone, anyone, I choked on the words and ran away, knowing I would never try again. Oh I was ready with the picture book version of the story, the romance and the love. I was prepared for that.

I don't think I could ever be prepared to tell anyone about what he did to me.

But that is exactly what I did.

Hey guys! Here is the new chapter 3. Sorry for the wait, I've been totally swamped with homework for exams. I'm anticipating that next chapter is going to be a difficult write, so please be patient. Let me know what you think of this chapter through a review. Love you guys!

Izzy out!