Max took a few steps towards Zoe's car, unable to stop himself.

Inside the car, Zoe finally sat back and wiped some tears from her face. She took a deep breath in but it caught in her throat when she saw Max stood by her door.

"Got a light?" Max asked.

"Max..." Zoe whispered softly, unable to take her eyes off him for fear that he'd disappear if she did.

"Have you got a lighter?" He asked again.

"Oh, erm yeah." She replied as she bent down to reach for her handbag where her lighter was housed. "What are you doing back?" She asked, finally trusting herself to speak properly.

"Just visiting." He replied, suddenly not able to tell her that his original plan was to come back and get divorced.

"And the date had nothing to do with it?" She asked quietly. She was well aware that a year ago she'd been on her hens night and making the biggest mistake of her life.

"I was trying not to think about it." Max took the lighter from her and lit his cigarette.

"…I've missed you." Zoe said softly, glancing at him before staring at her steering wheel again. "I may have lost my husband, but I also lost my best friend, and I-"

"Max!" Robyn called from the front doorway before making her way out, closely followed by Holly. "Max, come inside. Lofty has made dinner, and you know what he's like about timing. He'll throw it out if we don't get back in there."

When Zoe looked up at Max, his eyes were still focused on hers.

"I'm coming." Max called to Robyn, turning slightly to see that Holly was to beside her. As Robyn reluctantly made her way back inside, Holly stayed but a few steps away from Max. "I guess I don't need that lighter after all." He laughed slightly as he handed it back, his hand softly brushing Zoe's as he placed it in her hand. The electricity he still felt when he touched her hardly surprised him, but made turning around so much harder.

"Keep it, I have plenty at home." Zoe replied and handed it back.

"I guess I'll see you around. Bye, Zoe."

As he turned back to his front door and heard the car pull away behind him, he found himself instantly aching with loss. Once again he felt the rush of emotion that he felt after their wedding day, but he couldn't deny the love he still felt for his wife.

"Are you alright?" Holly put a hand on his back, and Max jumped, imagining for a moment it was Zoe.

"Ah, yeah. Fine."

"...She's pretty."

Max gave a distracted nod, and then went through to the kitchen where he spent the next hour pushing food around his plate. Finally sick of watching her brother mope, Robyn spoke up. "Why don't you go out for a walk, Max? Clear your head? We'll look after Holly. I've got all your baby photos ready to embarrass you."

"Yeah okay, fresh air will do me some good."

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?" Holly asked, feeling put out by the fact that Max was distracted by another woman and was making little effort with her.

"Yeah, I just need a little space. I won't be long." Max smiled and placed a gentle kiss to her cheek as he pulled his coat on and headed out.


He was desperate to see Zoe once again, to tell her that he still missed her too. As he began to walk to their old flat, he suddenly questioned whether she still lived in the same place. Taking his phone out to text her, he remembered that he'd deleted her number once he'd moved in a failed attempt to delete her from his life.

Panic began to consume him. What if she didn't live there anymore? What if he couldn't find her? What if he could never find her again? His pace quickened. Perhaps if he went to the pub he could find someone there who still had her number or at least knew where she lived.

As he walked it began to rain, and when he finally reached the pub it was pouring.

"Is that who I think it is?" Rita suddenly interrupted the conversation Louise was having with her.

Louise glanced around but didn't recognise Max. "Looks like a drowned rat to me. Another wine, Zoe?"

"Mmm, what?" Zoe asked, her mind going elsewhere the moment that she turned to spot Max at the pub entrance.

"Forget it." Louise sighed.

"I'm just going out for a cigarette." Zoe excused herself and walked out the door, hoping that Max would follow her once he'd noticed.


Using the old lighter that Max had given her the Christmas before they'd married, she lit her cigarette and waited the couple of minutes for Max to come out.

"What are you doing here?" Zoe asked, still in a state of shock that he'd come looking for her.

"I didn't know if you still lived in the same place." Was all Max had to offer in response.

Zoe paused, her thoughts racing. "I do. I was going to leave, but I could never bring myself to."

Max nodded, pushing his hands deep into his pockets as he stared at the ground.

Finally unable to stand the silence anymore, Zoe went to ask, "Was there something you needed?" As Max blurted, "I miss you, too."

"You don't mean that Max, you have a new girlfriend." Zoe sighed. No matter how much she wanted to convince herself that he meant what he was saying, she knew that it was probably just being in Holby that was making him think of her.

"I do mean that. Yes, I have Holly, and I thought we had something, but then I saw you and all these feelings just drowned me. It's you Zoe."

"Stop. It was me once upon a time and now it's Holly. I'm sure she won't hurt you like I did. It's just being back here. I promise you tomorrow or even the day after that, you'll wonder why you ever came seeking me out- you'll go back to hating me." Zoe told him sadly.

"I never hated you. I hated what you did and I was hurt, but I never stopped loving you."

"Max..."

"Do you think I want to feel this way? I thought I'd moved on- I found a job, somewhere to live, a girlfriend, a whole new set of friends, and I thought I'd got you out of my system, but I can't. It's you. It's always you, Zoe." Max spoke earnestly and reached out to Zoe, but she took a step back.

"Don't." It came out in a whisper.

Max's face suddenly cleared and he stared at her, that too familiar heart broken look on his face. "You don't love me anymore, do you? You don't need me."

"Max, that's not-" Zoe began, but Max had turned from her to begin walking away. "Max!" Zoe tried again and ran to catch up with the fast pace he was using to walk away from her again. "Of course I still love you. Of course I still need you. Of course I still want you, but you're not mine to have anymore." Zoe sighed. She knew that she should have let Max continue to walk, but something inside her knew that she couldn't do that without him knowing just how much he meant to her. "You're all I ever wanted Max, and I screwed that up. Even if you didn't change your mind tomorrow about missing me, I still don't deserve you back."

"You're right, you don't and yet I still want you." Max sighed, reaching out just to touch Zoe's arm, desperate to touch her again and feel the rush of love that only Zoe had ever been able to cause in him.

"Look, how about we go back to mine? You can have a coffee and I still have some of the clothes that you left- you're soaked so you can change. We can talk about things and then you go home, back to your girlfriend."

"And if by the end of it I don't want to go home?" He asked.

"You do it anyway."

Max studied her face for a moment, aching to kiss her, before he finally nodded.