Higher Love


Authors Note: Sorry about the stupid mistake muddling up the leg which had the infarction! I am as House would say an idiot but I thought I would give you a third chapter earlier because of that stupid mistake plus I cannot stop writing this. And for JLCH the user who commented that Cuddy isn't able to move on like House, I think this chapter might make you change your mind a little! House might be just as messed up by him leaving as she is.


Chapter 3: Three is crowd

Just when I think

I'm under control

I think I finally got a grip

Another friend tells me that

My name is always

On your lips

They say I'm more

Than just a friend

They say I must be blind

Well I admit that

I've seen you watch me

From the corner of your eye

Oh it's so confusing

The time had come for him to decide. Although stepping through the doors of Sentara Virginia Beach General Hospital had not been the deciding vote as Gregory House hoped it would be. Earlier in the day he had sat on his bedroom floor bouncing the tennis ball, he used as an old keepsake from PPTH, against the wall nostalgically. In that moment House was pondering why he hadn't tried to get a new job or try and get to know new people until it was forced upon him. The truth had not been far to find, as House had been painfully aware of the reason just unwilling to say it. Lisa Cuddy. She was the reason for everything he no longer did, as everything was a tortuous reminder of the life he chose to run from. A job that didn't reside under the realm of the best boss, friend and lover he had ever known would be an insult to her. To just exist in the world was no longer bearable, so House had decided in the moment on the carpet floor that if he would take the job it had to be spectacular. It had to be as different to Princeton as it possibly could for him to even consider it, and Sentara Virginia Beach General Hospital was just that.

Sentara Hospital was a modern spectacle of medicine; it was a vast building in clean sand coloured brick with a large monumental fountain leading from the front. In Houses opinion it looked more like a mansion than a hospital as he drove through on his motorcycle. Going through the doors of the reception he hadn't made the slightest connection to the hospital he had worked in for so much of his life.

There were people everywhere and the sort of people that he hated, rich and obnoxious, and there it was. House stood in the doorway leading to the grand conference hall and all he could think about was her. The times he had let her down, the times he had told her he would turn up beside her at these sort of events and save her from the rich donors and he had not. Though the halls were different and the whole hospital had a more expensive feel to it plus different sounds it would always in Houses mind be missing the clip-clap of her heels. The hospital was amazing, high-tech with an air of class about it but the reason it was so wrong is that it was not Lisa Cuddy's.

"Greg, you made it!"

Lana's voice called from the left, she appeared in a white close fitting evening dress with her hair cut shorter than when he had seen her last. The doctor's skin was flawless and olive highlighting her beautiful hazel eyes.

"Sounded like I didn't have a choice last time we spoke."

She laughed and it sounded like sweet like a little melody but it was at that moment House saw her brown eyes look him up and down subtly. His appearance had been cleaned up slightly since she had seen him at the beach house. Trimmed and shaved supporting a little stubble, he thought it might be important to not show himself up on his first medical outing of the year. However, Lana did not look like she was going to congratulate him on looking nice. It was a shy look, like she was afraid of what he might say, almost the look on a woman who had a crush on an older man. House prayed for the sake of his own sanity that it wasn't true. Starting a relationship with him wouldn't be wise for anyone.

"Look my father is over there, lets go meet with him. Let him size you up."

House silently gulped down the fear of the man and let her take his arm. As they walked together through the crowded ballroom like conference hall, House couldn't figure out what was the weirder feeling. Not having a cane or having a woman on his arm, a woman that wasn't Cuddy. He was still getting used to the prosthesis on his leg, it would always be a strange experience but it was the first time in public when people were noticing who he was and that he didn't have a cane. They would know whom he was after the article in a frequently read medical magazine that titled, "Where is Dr. House now?" after the recent string of miss diagnosed patients at PPTH. House never dared read the full article out of guilt, he had never thought about what his absence would do to the hospital and Cuddy's reputation as a Dean.

"Ah, this must be the famous Dr. Gregory House." An elderly gentleman walked over with a gaggle of people following him like fans eagerly awaiting his every word. The tall man standing before him in an immaculate tuxedo was in his mid-sixties, dark graying hair and deep hazel eyes just like his daughter, "It is a pleasure to meet you Dr. House." He said reaching out to House with a firm hand grasping his and shaking it strongly, "My daughter Lana talks very highly of you."

House smiled, feeling the pressure to conform to the normal social protocol only on this situation, "All lies."

They laughed, or rather Dr. Curtis Jr. laughed and everyone followed suit nervously, and he patted House jovially on the shoulder, "Funny guy, I like that." He motioned for House to follow him as he walked away, "I don't know whether you know me or my reputation, Dr. House, but I am Dr. Edgar John Curtis Jr. This is my hospital and has been for twenty years."

Edgar stopped at his table, the head table of the room, and instructed House to sit next to him and Lana on the other side in between them, "Please sit, Dr. House."

As Lana was about to sit she saw a friend and excused herself momentarily but House noted her father was relived by her absence. They sat down in an awkward silence; this man made House strangely nervous. He had a great and stoic presence; Edgar had an air of world about him just like his own father had. John Gregory House had been a great man in the military, tall and strong with an imposing stature about him which Lana's father had almost the spitting image of.

"I hope you don't think I'm imposing on you asking you here tonight, Dr. House."

The mans relaxed nature irritated House but for Lana's sake he played nice, "Not at all sir, why would you think that and please call me Greg."

It was a faked courtesy but it went down as planned as Dr. Curtis Jr. offered him a warm smirk, "Sir? Sir was my fathers name, call me Ed and I mean by assuming you would meet me here. I learned my daughter was treating you and I had to take my opportunity before you slipped out of my park, see."

House had a smirk of his own; he wasn't hiding the fact that he used his daughter to get to House. This wasn't about Lana at all, she was naive sometimes unaware that everyone even her own father had motives and devices for everything. Something about Ed made House feel like he had planned this meeting for a long time.

"You are an incredible asset you see, Greg, and I don't even think you know how valuable that is too someone like me."

Ed raised his regal right hand and a waiter appeared in less than a second to take his drink order, "Bourbon on the rocks, and you?"

He waited for House to answer, "Oh, err the same thanks."

The older man smiled, "Good choice." The waiter scurried away as quickly as he had appeared, "The reason why you left Princeton doesn't bother me, Dr. House. Or anything that happened other than the incredible medicine and donations you received there." The drinks appeared and Edgar handed one to House taking a sip but the diagnostician downed his in one, "What bothers me is my legacy. I am not a young man anymore; I wont be here forever but you? You still have a lot more to give. You and I could achieve a lot together, Greg."

House ordered another bourbon on the rocks while he stared at Edgar Curtis blankly, "What is it that you want from me? Because people don't just give me jobs with my reputation it always comes at a cost."

"Like Lisa Cuddy's cost? Your relationship crashing and burning or maybe your stay at the crazy house," House stared at him wide eyed as he simply stated what he was running from, "Yes I know all about you, Dr. Gregory House. You would be surprised how much. But I also know from my hunting about you that you are the best, you are a doctor like no other."

Houses drink arrived and he sipped it momentarily, "I am sensing there is definitely a bigger ulterior motive other than a job offer here?"

"I'm not well." Edgar stated with an air of guilt staring past House and to his bright-eyed daughter, "No one seems to be able to pinpoint what is wrong with me and its only getting worse. Now I know you are the best, so if you took my case and diagnosed me the private practice is yours. I've even set up a meeting in New York next week for you to meet with my lawyer to get it up and started." Dr. Curtis smiled, and for the first time that evening he was nervous House could see his strength waver in his deep and aging hazel eyes, "All you need to do is tell me what is wrong with me. It is that simple. I get my answer and you get a career back. We both get something we want."

House thought it over for a minute, "What if I like my life, without the clinic or working for you? What if I don't plan to go by what you want? No offence, Dr. Curtis, but this is all hinging on me wanting to work in medicine and maybe I don't."

Edgar tilted his head making House look in the way of his daughter, "Maybe not but my daughter adores you maybe she wouldn't if she found out all about your past. What if Lisa Cuddy was to find out about those little snippets of history you neglected to share with the world, Dr. House? Would people still look at you the same if they knew? About you, your parents, your past is a very interesting read, Dr. House." The older man rose, "Men with a lot of secrets should learn how to hide them better. Now you're expected in New York next week Dr. House to start the plans for the practice. I hope you come to the right decision."


House had run outside into the grounds of the hospital and found a wooden bench to catch his breath on. He knew coming to this get together had been a mistake; he should have gone when he had the chance. Now Lana's father had moved his little plan into action and House was the main pawn. How dare he! House thought to himself, using his past to get him to come back into medicine to treat him then using him to create this legacy he wanted. The diagnostician knew that Edgar Curtis Jr. wanted to make sure House wouldn't go running back to Cuddy.

Lisa Cuddy. House cradled his head in his hands, she would have never done anything like this too him. She never asked him about his past and in that moment House was so very thankful of her. Cuddy had given him a job when none would, helped him and continued to help him when he only gave her pain in return. She was an honest woman, getting by on her ambition and sense of duty. Edgar was not that sort of man, he was hard and brutal; he had got to the top by elbowing and diving in front of people not by hard work. Now he was sick and he had used his daughter to get to him, House wouldn't have been surprised if he had intentionally got him transferred to her hospital in the first place. He wouldn't have been shocked if Edgar Curtis Jr. had instigated their entire meeting.

At that moment, with the threats Lana's father had put against him, House couldn't have missed Cuddy more. She would have sat next to him, her warm body pressing against the cool of his own and placed a soft delicate hand atop his own. Cuddy would have somehow soothed him into thinking everything would have been all right. With their hands together, linked tightly in a knot of fingers, House would have believed her. Yet when he opened his electric blue eyes there was no one sat next to him, no one comforting him only the brisk wind howling at his back.

Cuddy would have known what to do. She wasn't as smart medically as he but Cuddy knew the way the world of medicine worked better than he did. House was as naïve as Lana was in that respect. House would have done anything in that moment to go back to Princeton, to do things again and not take that vicodin. To be holding Cuddy in his arms now looking up at the stars whispering something crude in her ear so she would laugh the way she used to do.

"Why do I always find you in the cold somewhere?"

Lana walked out and found him sat staring blankly into the stars with a sad sort of look about him, "What's wrong? Did my father upset you, he is insensitive sometimes?"

Insensitive, House laughed inwardly to himself, thinking then that people had called himself and his own father much, much worse. It occurred to him in that moment how much Lana looked like Cuddy. If it weren't for the eyes he wouldn't have been able to tell them apart. Was it insensitive to kiss her now? Was it cruel or worse to use another who looked like her to get some comfort and release?

"No, I was just thinking." House ran his hand through his short hair, "It's just been a while since I have had to do this sort of thing."

Her body was just a bit bigger than Cuddy's, but everything else was just the same. House shook his head a little tearing himself away from his fantasy. He couldn't do it to the woman sat beside him. Just because he knew that Lana liked him didn't mean he could use her like that, just because her father was trying to use him didn't give him any excuse to take it out on anyone but himself. She was shivering now noticeably due to the winter chill in the night air, House took of his tuxedo jacket and cast it over her shoulders.

"Here, you look freezing why don't you go back inside? I am going to stay out here for a while."

"No," House heard her protest. Lana took his hand and dragged his body inside, "You owe me a dance Mr. I am not a cripple anymore."

She laughed, House could tell she had been drinking but he had Cuddy in the back of his mind. Lana was like a younger Cuddy, no fear or inhibitions. Before she had been hurt by him that was the way Lana was able to be. The young woman brought him to the middle of the crowded dance floor and places him in the correct hold for the slow dance. Houses fingers just grazed the edge of her backless dress touching her warm skin. It seemed hard for him to concentrate for that moment letting her take the lead while he regained his control. Although his heart was with Cuddy, his head was with another part of his body that had been lonely for far longer than he had become used to. With no Cuddy or any other methods of sexual release, Houses mind was no longer on trying not to hurt Lana in this process of ulterior motives. As Lana placed her head on his shoulder and moved her arms smoothly around his neck Houses hands gripped her waist. Her body felt good in his hands, just like Cuddy's did, her slim figure was athletic and supple. Haunted by images of Cuddy weren't helping but also knowing the way Lana felt from everything connecting together. The countless times people at the hospital, where Lana treated him, used to recount the times she talked endlessly about him or the times when House used to see her staring at him when she thought he wasn't looking.

House had been avoiding any kind of contact with her when he left the hospital, knowing that she was a beautiful woman who was attracted to him, he sometimes opted to talk to her outside of his house or on the phone rather than let her in. As it felt like a betrayal, somewhere in Houses mind he never really split up with Cuddy and he was hoping and praying she would find him but in that moment House was struggling with his heart.

"I know I shouldn't tell you this, Greg."

Lana whispered softly in his ear, he felt the breathlessness in her voice knowing that being close to him was affecting her, "But I cant stop thinking about you."

Any man with a conscience would have stopped, right then in that second was chances to say I cant do this but House had passed the point where he could deny his vague attraction to her. Where Lana started and Lisa stopped he didn't know.

"I really should go, Lana…"

She moved her head back to look at him while still keeping her body tight to his chest, "Why Greg, is that so bad? Is it terrible that I like you? That I would like to be more than your doctor or whatever I am."

House shook his head and as he did he caught Edgars brown eyes. They were indignant and speaking volumes but his body was thinking something else. The alcohol in his system was telling him to run and his body was saying bring her with him. House was so confused, was it a terrible thing to do sleep with a woman while being in love with another? Could a relationship work if there were three people in it?

"Ok, lets get out of here I cant think straight in here."

Lana nodded with a small smile on her face and walked out behind him toward his motorcycle. He walked fast and didn't look back until he was right next to his bike. He cursed himself for staying, for becoming involved with people and medicine again. House didn't need money, he had saved enough and been left enough by his parents to live on for a long time. Why didn't he just stay away from people? Stacy, Lydia and Cuddy, he should have learned that he wasn't a relationship sort of a man but he just kept going. Now, the same look adored Lana's face.

"What is wrong with you tonight, you look like you've seen a ghost?"

House jumped onto his bike setting his right leg in its place then moving his right, "Look I'm going to the beach house you can come with me or follow me I don't care I'm leaving now. So what's it going to be?"

Lana hiked up her dress and took off her shoes placing them under the seat and grabbing the extra helmet placed under there. She jumped on behind him without a word and tightly held on as House powered up the bike.


It was only a fifteen-minute drive but at the speed he was going it would only take a few minutes. He was over the limit they both were but he didn't care. House thought he had escaped her memory, after the months of drinking them away or being unable to sleep to avoid seeing her face, they had resurfaced more prominently than ever. He couldn't tell if he was looking Cuddy or Lana, it was all blurring into one. The mind that was his weapon against the idiots of the world was betraying him. Lana held onto him tightly, her hands were creeping higher onto his chest holding on but feeling and exploring his body at the same time. House wouldn't ever deny that it didn't feel good but he couldn't tell whether it was nostalgia remembering Cuddy's hands doing the same thing so vividly that was causing his arousal or the feeling of a woman being close to him again.

They arrived and the engine ceased but neither moved for a moment. Lana was clearly enjoying being close to him and holding his chest close to hers. House took a deep breath and closing his eyes. He wondered if Cuddy found another man, did she still think of him when they fucked? Did she pretend it was him? The alcohol was making him think of the worst possible scenarios, Cuddy and random men screwing; it made him mad with rage that she could still control him from so far away.

House removed himself from the bike and helped Lana off taking her shoes from her then leading her to his front door. There was no way she was sleeping in the spare room and House knew it. The Curtis family had both had their plans tonight and they had been determined to see it through. House opened the door and let her in before closing then locking the door behind her. She looked out of place; the usually confident woman was unsure of herself and slightly uninhibited by the alcohol she had drunk. House moved in front of her toward his whiskey cabinet and pulled out a bottle.

"Would you like a drink?"

Lana shook her head and watched him pull a glass out for himself, "Suit yourself."

She walked over to him and pulled at his tie, "Tell me who she is."

It wasn't a demand and it wasn't jealousy. Lana was curious and it was a curiosity that House knew only too well. House however pretended, as he downed a second glass of whiskey burning his throat, that he had no idea what she was talking about, " Lana, I don't know what you are…"

She pulled his loose bow tie away from him, throwing it off into the empty room fiercely but without real violence it was more passion, "The woman that you seem to not be able to breath without. The woman that you were thinking about when we were dancing…" Lana pulled the buttons off his shirt and touched the bare skin of his chest, "I want to know what it feels like to be her. Just for one night…"

"Lana, don't…"

Houses protests fell on deaf ears as she backed away and removed her coat, "I am not a spoiled woman, Greg. But on the rare occasion I want something I always make sure I get what I want…" Her tone wasn't obnoxious or self-centered as the phrase sounded; it was almost a plea of desperation. Lana wanted him to know what it was like to want someone who was obviously somewhere else.

"You don't want me, Lara."

Even House wasn't persuaded by that voice and Lara laughed sweetly, "I wanted you from the first time I saw you. Those eyes," She moved closer to him, "That mind that lives behind them, bursting to be released again. I could help you, I am not the woman that holds your heart in a head lock but we could be something just as great…"

Lara moved up so their faces were almost touching at the nose, the alcohol heavy on their breaths but it seemed to the other that the breath was like an itch on their faces. It was an itch that wanted so badly to be scratched, House found it difficult to breath for a moment as Lana closed the gap and kissed his lips.

They were tentative, burdened almost in heavy movement with slow labored kisses. Houses lips moved independently of his heart his mind flooded with thoughts of Cuddy but also the thought of sexual release. With breath fading Lana moved away from his body as if it she was pulling away from a magnet and smiled softly, "If you want to try us I will be upstairs waiting for you. If you don't we will pretend it never happened. The choice is yours."

Then she left him standing there, leaning open shirted against the liquor cabinet aroused and confused with a choice. He could walk up the stairs and have sex with a beautiful woman who seemed to be in love with him. Or he could sleep down stairs and probably loose the only friend in the world he had.

Houses heart was the confused party. Sleeping with Lana when he was still thinking about Cuddy seemed to be a betrayal to both women. Lana was a beautiful woman who deserved the best any man could give her but his best was in Princeton with Cuddy. However to say that was the only thing House was feeling was wrong. Houses body had given its vote, him seeing the reaction to having body on his and hands tracing his chest with her bare skin. It certainly wouldn't be hard to sleep with her, as parts of him were already half way there. House thought of Cuddy, wondering if she ever had this dilemma. She was a beautiful woman who would never be without men wanting to be with her. Could he really pass up the chance to be with a beautiful, caring and intelligent woman that loved him despite knowing about his leg? Would he be able to stop thinking about Cuddy? House moved forward, with both the stairs and the sofa in sight which one was he going to choose?


Authors note: Thanks for reading all the mistakes stupid and idiotic are mine and House md is not. Probably will be the next chapter tomorrow im on a little writing spree at the moment. Plus that is a pretty big cliffhanger; will House be able to sleep with Lana? There will be a bit more Cuddy in the next one but this story is going to be mainly House centric until they are in the same spot.

Harper

p.s. I thought it might help your reading experience if I told you who I wrote the characters Lana, Edgar (her father) and Robert (Cuddy's boyfriend) to be played by in my head.

Dr. Lana Curtis: Lana Parrilla (Queen/Regina in Once Upon A Time)

Dr. Edgar Curtis Jr.: Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones)

Robert Cuddy's Boyfriend: Edward Norton (The Hulk)