A/N: Thank you for the faves and likes. Also thank you for letting me know about the error with the text monsterswagger. I have corrected the strange codings.
Warning- Dean masturbating scene
Dean had sat in Baby. His forest green eyes fixed on the radio that had now turned off. He couldn't move he just sat there in the seat. As if he were waiting for Castiel to show up. It felt like he had fallen down the rabbit hole. It was following the clues to hopefully get some kind of resolve. The strands of the rope were fraying, then came together again only to fray once more. Nothing was ever easy, Dean knew that more then anyone. It was always going to be an uphill battle, forcing a boulder before them too. It was a constant strain that sometimes was too much pressure. Dean knew he wasn't alright, even after a year, he was succumbing to the madness that came with little sleep. He thought he would have been better, he thought he would have been ok and he and Sam would go about their family business and eventually he would heal. Was it possible that time didn't heal this kind of wound? To hold so much guilt and so much remorse for the things he did and didn't do. He knew that despair had a way of keeping ghosts on earth but Cas couldn't have been a ghost he didn't have a soul and no one was able to tell him what happened to his vessels soul, either way the skin bag wasn't Cas the angel inside it was. Even if Jimmy Novak had somehow passed on that wasn't Castiel.
He almost wanted to ask for Cas to give him another sign but he didn't want to push it. If it was Castiel then he didn't want to overwhelm him. He didn't know where the angel was, if anywhere at all for all Dean knew that wherever Cas was, caused him immense amount of pain to contact him and that was why he hadn't been able to before. The eldest Winchester knew in his heart that Cas would have contacted him if he could. He would have reached out to him in some form or another. To Dean this was Cas' sign.
He waited for only an hour more. Suddenly disrupted by the glow of the sun rising over the horizon. He had no sleep at all but right now sleep was not important. Finding the god was. He could sleep later, if Sam had some kind of lead then they would follow it until Dean simply couldn't stand anymore.
The light that penetrated the window's of the Impala and Dean took that as his cue to go back into the hotel room. Sam was still sleeping when he came in, it gave him a chance to shower and try and get refreshed as possible.
The water that hit Dean's face felt like the gentle kiss of rain on his lightly bronzed flesh, decorated with a sweet scatter of freckles. He closed his eyes letting the cascade wash over him. There was only the fall of water, the rest was silence. Not a single bird chirping, not a single car engine or another voice. Just the water. He took a deep breath in, his slightly parted lips being touched by a few trickles that crept into his mouth. His hands gradually touched over his tired body, touching the contours of his abdominal muscles. He needed this, he needed the relaxation and he need the relief. His hand brushed over his flaccid length, a trembled sigh left his lips. How long had it been since he had done this? He honestly couldn't remember. The last time he touched himself he tried to think of one of his sexual encounters with a woman but the moment he closed his eyes he saw Castiel. Those beautiful azure eyes that were like the most stunning aquamarine. The smile, he could melt the hearts of the most evil. The thick chocolate brown hair that had a certain scent to it, nothing bad, it was just...Castiel.
Dean swallowed hard, trying to compose himself as he felt his cock harden against his hand. The stiffness of the shaft instantly pulsing to his tender touch. Slowly he curled his fingers around the rigid length and started to stroke in long, timid pumps.
"Cas"
The name left his lips in a deep yet gentle whisper, the water soaking his hand acting as a continual waterfall of lubricant. The more Dean stroked himself the more he relaxed his mind, soon focusing on only one thing, to have an orgasm. It was certainly long awaited. The hunter continued to stroke, building up the pace, his lips quivering only panting that one name, Castiel. He could almost feel the angels hands on him, holding him. One hand on his chest the other surfacing down wards and guiding Dean's hand back and forth to reach that impending perpetual bliss. He really felt him there, Dean could feel Cas with him and it was what had bought him to his orgasm. He was a panting mess for a few moments after the release of the streams of white that had hit the tiled wall and was instantly washed away.
Once he had that release he left the shower, wrapping a towel around him, drying, changing and moving back into the main room with the beds, television and a little kitchen. Sam finally awake and sitting at the small round table on one of the chairs that looked uncomfortable enough for his younger brother to look as if he had ants down his pants.
"Hey"
A simple and common greeting for Dean Winchester, even towards his brother. He was still slightly flushed in the cheeks but he knew Sam wouldn't mention it unless he wanted to be told to shut his bitch mouth or possibly beaten the crap out of in the sense of a punch to the arm or some kind of slap of the face.
"Hey"
"So Cas contacted me last night, in Baby. He played a song on the radio"
Straight to the point, there was no point in dicking around with it. He could see the pure look of shock on Sam's face. There was surprise and some disbelief to, though minor. Mostly Dean just saw that hopeful puppy dog like look on his far too innocent face, though he had to admit that it had saved them from getting in trouble sometimes, one look from Sam and women and sometimes men were a melted puddle.
"Don't look at me like that, you bastard, you are the one that started all of this"
Dean's voice lightly pitching with some anger, it was true, this was Sam's doing. He had encouraged all of this and Dean was just reacting in the way one would in this sort of situation. If you believed you got a message from someone from beyond the grave, a message from someone you loved, then most people would take it seriously, whether it was belief of desperation.
"Look Dean, I am not saying it didn't happen, but are you sure you weren't just tired?"
"Goddammit, Sammy. I know what I heard. Baby was turned off and the radio came on, not a tape, THE RADIO. He played don't stop believin' for me. I can't explain it, I asked for a sign and he gave me one. Cas is out there is somewhere in some form so we are going to find this god dude and use the ashes to bring him back"
There was a thick determination in Dean's voice. He knew that Sam thought he was nuts but still he gave that supportive "I trust you" look. If the roles were reversed he would have thought his brother was bonkers. He knew what he had heard and he had considered it was another angel or possibly a demon screwing with him but in heart he had to believe that it was Castiel. Because that faith was all he had left.
"Please tell me you have something, anything"
He watched Sam turn to the laptop, hit a few keys and started to read through the text on the screen. It wasn't like Dean was expecting something to just pop up and tell them how to find Actaeon but he was hoping for something, just a direction on where to go at the least.
"According to this Actaeon has a bed which is located in Megara, but since he seems to be here in Colorado. I looked into other things that he may be attracted to, somewhere more human he might be. Apparently he symbolizes ritual human sacrifice in attempt to please a God or Goddess. In the case of Actaeon, the dogs symbolize the sacrifices and Actaeon symbolizes the sacrifice. Actaeon also may symbolize a human curiosity or irreverence"
Dean thought over Sam's words for a moment. Contemplating the many possibilities that they could go with.
"So either he is hanging out with a bunch of man eating dogs or he his where? a school for the disrespectful? and how is he connected to the phoenix?"
"Actaeon is also a symbol for spiritual transformation, the phoenix is a symbol of rebirth they go hand in hand"
"And the feathers? Why is dog meat letting the phoenix drop them, for human's to pick up so they can heal?"
Dean could hear the cynicism in his own tone. He had been hyped up to find Castiel and get the god to bring him back. His impatience was scratching at him, telling him to just go, ask questions later but they needed all the facts, they needed to know what it was going to take to get the angel back to them. He just wanted to have quick answers, though he was well aware that it wasn't that easy. The quicker Sam got to the point, the better and the closer Dean would get to getting his angel back to him.
"I don't think he is. If he has the phoenix, I doubt he would be actually doing this. Actaeon hated the way he did and his dogs had so much remorse for killing him, if Actaeon is back then he used the phoenix and if that were me-"
"You'd be trying to find your mutts to let them know you aren't pissed with them and if you wanted to find wild dogs that would kill for stag meat?"
Dean smiled, almost biting into his lip as he offered a glimmer of excitement and maybe even joy. He was feeling burnt out but this was a spark of much needed energy. He could almost feel it in his bones, in his heart. He was another step closer to Cas being back with them. His up and down of doubt and excitement was wearing him thin and it was fucking with his mind but even with the fluctuation of up and down spirits, Dean was starting to have a little bit more faith.
"Colorado Wolf and wildlife center"
Dean nodded his head, giving that distinct look that came with the idea that he and Sam would be on the road, hard rock music pumping. On a mission to save an angel.
