It wasn't hard to do really…forgetting, that is.

Before she knew it, the events that had led up to her falling in love were nothing more than a mere whisper floating around in her memories. How very strange, she thought, to forget what had once seemed so monumental. Now? Now those events were no more than a trivial nuisance she felt the desire, no the absolute need, to obliterate from her mind completely.

She convinced herself it had to be the wrongness of everything she had experienced up until this point in her life. Yes, it was simply the wrongness of everything past, and the rightness of this...of him and her, of them.

She knew it was time to let go, let go of him and all they had once had together, or rather all she once hoped they would have someday. Nevertheless, in spite of these newfound revelations and an iron resolve to forget, she found her thoughts wandering back unbidden, reaching out, grasping for those memories just beyond the reach of her consciousness…

Flashback

He was looking at her with those eyes, those eyes that could lay a soul bare for the taking. His taking. It was subtle yet overwhelming; all darkness and light, life and death, pain and comfort, joy and sorrow. To look into those eyes was to lose yourself and find yourself all at the same time. The man was one contradiction after another, but it didn't matter because once you yielded yourself to that gaze it all made sense.

Everything made sense.

Or at least that is how Rose imagined it would feel, if only she was the object of his desire. She wasn't though. Apparently, she did not tickle his fancy like that, not like Reinette did. Her heart was breaking and all she could do was sit back and watch as he lost his hearts to a woman he would never have, could never possess.

Standing there watching Reinette through the time window, Rose realized that she pitied the Doctor and yes, her, too: this rare beauty of exceptional intelligence, the poor, uncrowned Queen of France. His presence in her life would be fleeting at best. While mere hours passed for them, his companions and him, the years flew by for her. An entire human lifetime gone in the blink of an eye, and suddenly Rose thought she understood, truly understood, the torment he must suffer watching all around him "wither and die."

She understood, too, what it was like to love someone from an uncrossable distance. In fact, she thought she probably understood it better than he did, better than he ever could. Time Lords weren't as alone in the torment and misery departments as they seemed to believe after all.

As the three of them – her, the Doctor, and Mickey – entered Reinette's world for the first time together, she had the overwhelming feeling that she was walking across the pages of a history book. It was then – as she watched the way he stood so near to her, the way he leaned ever so slightly, protectively, in her direction – that an indescribable fear began to gnaw in the pit of Rose's stomach. He had fallen, fallen hard, and it hurt because, up until that moment, she had thought he was unwilling or unable to love in the way that humans do. She knew now that the problem lay not in his alieness but in her, Rose Tyler.

Oh God, how it hurt. It hurt so very much to know that it was someone else that had finally managed to win his love. It hurt more than she would have ever thought possible, more then Jimmy, and even more than watching her own father die.

She knew he would never reciprocate the love she felt for him and knew she had to let him go. She refused to be the jealous type, refused to act like the immature child she knew he often thought of her as. She was bigger than that, older and wiser. Yes, a lot of the growing up she had done over the last few years were on account of him, but it was still her that ultimately had to do the changing. She wasn't about to let some…some French tart undo all she had accomplished so far.

"Why her?" she implored of the clockwork man, trying, with great difficulty, to maintain some small semblance of control over her raging emotions. Trying to keep focus on what was really important – the mysterious wind-up robots threatening the life of some French aristocrat – not the proximity and absolute unattainability of the only man she had ever really loved.

The slight hitch in her voice had not gone unnoticed though and, out of the corner of her eye, Rose could see the Doctor turn slowly towards her, his expression unreadable. She feared the worst, feared that he had somehow managed to read the thoughts racing through her mind. What makes her so special to you, to him

She knew her fear was ridiculous -- yes, he could read another's mind but, from what she could tell, he required some sort of physical contact with the person in order to do so -- still, she discovered a blush slowly darkening her cheeks and scrambled to cover up her embarrassment. "You've got all of history to choose from," her voice was wavering a bit but she kept her eyes fixed on the droid in front of her and hoped that it would be enough, "Why specifically her?"

Rose knew, no matter how hard she had tried, he had seen right through her; the Doctor was just too clever like that. Luckily, there were more pressing matters to deal with and his attention quickly shifted back to Reinette, who was firmly standing her ground.

Looking her mechanical stalker directly in the eye, she demanded with the air of a queen dismissing a mere servant that it leave her presence. If Rose was completely honest, she could understand now some of what the Doctor saw in this woman. At the very least, she had to admire her bravery.

"It's back on the ship. Rose, take Mickey and Arthur, get after it. Follow it, don't approach it, just watch what it does."

Once again a flurry of activity, he barely even glanced in her direction, and as they made to leave Rose stole a quick glimpse over her shoulder at the beautiful woman standing beside her Doctor. Perhaps 'French tart' really had been uncalled for. The poor thing had no clue, none at all. She probably had this grand idea in her head that he -- her "lonely angel" -- would be with her forever. She had no idea just how unimportant she would be to him in the end, no idea just how small, miniscule even, a part she would play in his story…their story. But could she blame her?

Could she really blame Reinette for falling for him, when she -- and probably countless others, if Sarah Jane was any indication -- had already done so? He was so…well, he was the Doctor. There was something about him, something that drew you in and would not let go. To bask in his presence was to bask in greatness. He was amazing, wonderful, perfect in every sense of the word and...and...

...so very unattainable.

Rose understood this and had even, she believed, come to terms with it. Reinette, however, had no idea how abruptly this little fantasy of hers would end.

Beside her, Mickey suddenly laughed.

Stopping dead in her tracks she turned and glared at him, "Wha'? Wha's so funny?"

"So, that Doctor, eh?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well! Madame de Pompadour. Sarah Jane Smith. Cleopatra," he continued obviously unaware of Rose's rising fury.

"Cleopatra – he mentioned her once," she practically screamed the last word at him.

"Yea but he called her 'Cleo'."

The conversation, quickly spiraling out-of-control, ended abruptly when she felt an arm snake around her neck. "Mickey!" she screamed, but too late. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the droid that had grabbed Mickey holding what appeared to be some sort of a needle…then she felt the tell-tale prick on her neck and everything went dark.

When she awoke she found herself and Mickey trapped, captured by this latest enemy. Tied to some sort of medical table and awaiting integration into the ship. They were, after all, compatible. As if that wasn't bad enough, he came back for them.

The Doctor, the Oncoming Storm, the stuff of legends…and he was drunk. Oh, not from any sort of alcoholic concoction (banana daiquiri her arse) but from happiness. Pure, unadulterated happiness like none he had ever experienced before, at least not in her presence. There was only one explanation she could come up with…he was in love.

Even after he put in place again the mask that was his emotional security system, even then she could see it. He could not hide his feelings from her as well as he thought he could. She could see through to his soul and what she saw there scared her to death. She was losing him to Reinette.

But Reinette was naively oblivious of the fate of this Time Lord, the last of his kind, destined to wander forever from place to place, alone. He would not stay here, not even for her. When the world, her world, was finally made right again, he would flee back into the night, leaving her like all the rest.

After all, he didn't do domestic and he never ever stayed to pick up the pieces. These were the very first lessons he had taught Rose. From the beginning he had made sure she understood them. She had come to terms with these rules, had learned to accept them, accept him.

And then he broke all those rules…

"Well, we've gotta try something!"

"No! Smash the glass, smash the time windows! There'll be no way back."

Before she could even blink he was gone. Without so much as a backward glance or a word of explanation, he leapt upon Arthur and spurred him towards the mirror. He was the quintessential knight in shinning armor riding off on his trusty steed to save the proverbial damsel in distress. And the worst part was he left Rose behind, left everything behind, with no way back. He had trapped himself on the slow path and secured his presence in Reinette's life forever.

"What happened? Where did the time window go?"

And he hadn't just left her, he left Mickey as well.

Poor Mickey! His very first trip in the Tardis and the designated driver takes off without them, abandoning them on a spaceship hodge-podged together with human body parts by psychotic robots who preferred that to stopping off at the nearest spaceship supply center.

How's that for garnering the poor bloke's trust? How's that for keeping her safe like he promised her mum he would?

No, wait, that was her old Doctor – her proper Doctor – not the new, new Doctor. As much as she had tried to believe, as much as she wanted to…

"I'm him. I'm literally him. Same man, new face – well, new everything."

But he wasn't the same, she knew that now. He couldn't be because he would have never done something this reckless, would never have simply swanned off to save some other woman without so much as a thought for Rose's safety. Never. He would have made sure she was taken care of first…sent her home in the Tardis before even considering stranding her in another place and time. That was just the sort of man he was, always putting her life before anyone else's…even his own.

She missed him so much, her Doctor. Missed his big ears and that dopey grin that always sent her heart racing. But he was gone, leaving in his stead this stranger…and now even he had abandoned her.

"How's he gonna get back?"

Poor Mickey.

She was being so selfish only thinking about her own wounded pride and here he was, scared to death. She was, too, but at least she was used to this life, used to having danger follow them wherever they went. Not Mickey. The most action he'd ever experienced before this was having a few too many pints and getting sick in the alley next to the pub. And the only reason he'd really wanted to come with in the first place was her; so he could watch over her, keep her safe.

God, it was all her fault he was here. And he was one of those rare truly good blokes, too. Always treating her with respect, always there for her when she needed a shoulder to cry on, a friend to lean on, and never once did he ask for anything in return. Even lately, even after she made it clear time and time again that he just didn't measure up anymore. Even after she choose a stranger over him, and an alien one at that. Even then, he remained forever loyal to her, a faithful friend if she refused to let him be anything else.

She didn't deserve him, that much she knew. Maybe she never had. Certainly he could do better than her, find someone better than her: someone who wouldn't ignore him, push him away, and shut him out of her life simply because someone new and more exciting came along. As much as it shamed her, that is exactly what she had done. That was the way she repaid him for all those years of friendship and love.

Yet, she could not bring herself to give him even the slightest of comfort. She was too busy wrestling her own demons to try to reassure Mickey. She didn't tell him not to worry, that somehow everything would be OK, and she refused to tell him that the Doctor would be back. She couldn't, after all. She wasn't certain that he would be. She did not want to lie to Mickey about it. She just wouldn't do that to him, even if it would make him feel better.

"We can't fly the Tardis without him."

She could have reached out and offer him a comforting hand. It would be enough, she knew, to still his fears at least for a little bit. Give him a little touch or a smile and everything would be right in his world for a while. That was just the kind of bloke he was. It would be so easy, require so little effort on her part, but she just couldn't do it.

Maybe she was being selfish but she wanted someone other than herself to feel like crap too. So she vehemently ignored him and simultaneously hated herself for it. For nearly five-and-a-half hours she acted as though he wasn't even there, as though he didn't even exist.

Her patience was definitely wearing thin. She had tried to be positive, tried to hold onto the belief that the Doctor would come back, that he would just suddenly appear and hold his hand out to her. She tried to have faith in him, tried really hard, but as the minutes and then hours slowly ticked away, despair set in.

She would never talk to her mum again, she realized, or see her. Sure, she could use her mobile and give her a ring, but what exactly was she supposed to tell her? The Doctor just left me and Mickey and we're stuck on a spaceship millions of years and miles away and you're never gonna see me again? Oh yeah, that'd go over well.

"How's he gonna get back?"

She wanted to scream at him to shut up, wanted to slap him so he'd stop babbling on and on about it. Didn't he see there was nothing, nothing she could do? She was just as stuck as he was, their only means of escape standing right next to them, useless. There was no one left who could fly it. Sure, she had done so herself once upon a time, but all memories of that particular experience were lost to her now.

Then again…maybe, just maybe...

She turned her gaze on the Tardis.

And that was when it happened; after she had finally hit rock bottom and concluded she would have to take matters into her own hands. She was prepared to, was ready to accept any and all consequences of her actions, ready to attempt to fly the Tardis all on her own – ready to leave him behind – and then she heard it.

At first she thought it must be just wishful thinking, or maybe she had finally completely lost it but…she could have sworn she heard his voice, low and quiet, as though he was speaking to her from across a great distance. That was ridiculous though, there was no way back…he'd said as much himself.

It couldn't be him.

And then suddenly, there he was, and she was running into his arms. It was him! He had gone and done the impossible again. He was back, his arms wrapped around her waist, and it was pure heaven. She was so ashamed she had ever doubted him; ashamed she had ever considered leaving without him no matter if he had just done the same to her.

"How long did you wait?"

"5-1/2 hours."

"Right! Always wait 5-1/2 hours."

"Where've you been?"

"Explain later. Into the Tardis, be with you in a sec," he replied as he turned from her and headed back the way he had come.

It was then, as she stood there alone once more, that realization dawned on her. She had heard his voice earlier but it wasn't her he had been speaking to. It wasn't seeing her again that had brought out that childish jubilance she loved so much.

She tried to hold back the tears that threatened to break free. She tried to block out those words she had heard, those three simple words, spoken to the woman on the far side of history…three simple words that would haunt her for the rest of her life…

"Pick a star!"