This is pure crack and I regret nothing. Can be seen as the prequel of "in which some might say the trickster is tricked".

Disclaimer : I own nothing.


So do you know how baby O2 calls a tree ? :

"Come on, one drink !"

"Tony, I can't." Bruce replied with a sorry smile, his glasses in his hands, trying to clean them up.

"What is the worst that could happen, huh ?"

"I could hulk out."

"Yeah, right. Anything else ? Because the big guy is not a good reason enough not to drink."

At that point, Steve pointed out :

"Maybe it's a bad idea, but Tony is ever going to give up on that, so I suggest you have a drink, Bruce."

Bruce sighed, and accepted.

"Good boy."

"Shut up, Stark."

oOo

"So do you know how baby O2 calls a tree ?" Tony asked, swaying more than lightly at this point.

At the other side of the table, Cap' sighed for what could be the millionth time. Bruce, smiling a bit too much, muttered :

"Huh … "

"DADDY !"

Bruce bursted into laughing.

"And do you know how trees call us ?"

"Murderers?" Bruce tried.

"Ex-wives."

Bruce was crying now. He was trying to get up but couldn't, and soon Tony sat down next to him.

Natasha and Clint came in, then.

"Guys, your new toy is here."

Visibly, Tony and Bruce didn't understand until Thor appeared, Loki at his side.

"Oh" Tony muttered. "Right."

He and Bruce shared a look and Tony added :

"Magic."

He raised his eyebrows suggestively and that was enough to make the two scientists collapse on each other.

"What have they been drinking ?" Clint asked.

"Vodka. And whisky." Steve answered with a sigh - again.

Natasha sat down and poured herself a drink, clearly unimpressed by what was going on.

Loki eyed the two scientists for a second before telling his brother :

"Seeing they are visibly not fit for the tests they wanted to run, I shall be in the room Miss Potts gave me."

With that, he disappeared. Clint and Thor shared a look.

Thor sat down next to Clint and whispered - as much as he had the ability to whisper :

"He's pouting again."

Clint replied :

"Man, I would have never guessed your brother could have a crush on Tony of all people. He's even more nuts than what I thought !"

"Do not insult my brother, Eye of Hawk."

"Hawkeye."

"My brother is very wounded by Son of Stark's obvious lack of interest in him."

Natasha snorted.

"Lack of interest ? We're talking about Stark here, the only reason he wants to run tests on your brother is to see him naked."

"Hey, hey, bro, I've got another joke !" Tony yelled.

"What is green, and not nice ?"

"A praying mantis ?"

"LOKI !"

"Close enough" was Steve's only input.

"Captain panties, be sassy again, I like it when you're sassy. Besides, you're already assy, as in ass. Because of your ass, in your pants, so you're assy. Got it ?"

Bruce was laughing so hard he fell of his chair. Natasha's face indicated that, clearly, nothing here was funny, except maybe Tony and Bruce themselves.

"Actually", Thor corrected "by brother is actually blue."

"Blue ?"

Tony clearly hadn't heard of that, yet.

"Oh My God ! Loki is blue ! I wanna see blue ! Naked blue ! Right bro ?"

But Bruce was actually sleeping, so Tony ran out of the room, asked Jarvis for Loki's room and bursted through the door.

"So, you're blue ?"

"I beg your pardon ?"

"Oh you have nothing to be forgiven for, yet. Except for the fact you didn't tell me you were blue. Did I tell you the joke of O2, the tree and the humans ?Bruce LOVED it."

Tony settled down on Loki's bed, nuzzling against the other man's shoulder.

"I'm trying tot read, Stark."

"I can see that. That's boring. Hey, you know what Bruce did when the bad mutant attacked him the other day ? He blew him ! No … Wait … He didn't blow him as in doing a blow job, huh. That would be weird. But, you know, he blew air at him. As in : "go away you puny dust". Awesome, man. So, you're blue ?"

"Go away, Stark."

"Come on, do you want to hear a joke ? It made Bruce laugh so it was cool. Come on. I'm telling you, Bruce loved it. What is green and … Oh wait, not, that doesn't work because you're blue. Are you, though ? I should go and ask Bruce about that."

"Yes, go and ask Brucie, Stark."

For a second, there, Tony looked at Loki with serious eyes, as if he was not drunk anymore, but then he said :

"Naaaah, we'll see that tomorrow. But I'd like to see you blue, because you know, I could surprise Bruce with that. That would impress him, for sure. Did you know I'm horny when I'm drunk ? I wanna snog someone, right now."

"Go snog Banner, then."

But Tony gripped Loki's shirt and muttered :

"Now that would be weird. Are you jealous ? You sound like you're jealous. I can snog you, if you want."

At that point, Tony was on Loki, snuggling against him.

"I'm not a pillow."

"Nope. You're better than that. Turn off the lights, please ?"

"Stark …"

"Shut up, or I'm going to sleep with Banner."

Loki sighed and did as he was asked. A long moment of silence followed. And then, as Loki was about to close his eyes and fall asleep, Tony laughed.

"So you are jealous. Good."

"Good ? Stark, good ?"

"Yup."

Tony planted a kiss on Loki's neck, and started snoring.

oOo

"You know what's sad ?" Clint asked.

Natasha, Steve and Thor looked at him expectantly. They all had put Bruce to bed, seen Tony was with Loki, and were now back in the kitchen.

"Once again, Tony will wake up and not remember a thing, and be okay with that, and once again, Loki won't say anything because he's too proud for that, and next time Tony is drunk, he's going to sneak out in Loki's bedroom again, and ramble about Bruce again, and everything will start AGAIN."

"Then we shall do something about it." Thor decided.

The mischievous glint in Natasha's eyes that that, oh yes, they would.