Well damn I had almost forgot about this story. Actually I almost completely forgot about all my stories. I finally found the inspiration to write again and thus this will be my number one for now. I hope its good mostly since I have been working a lot on my writing skills recently. I do not own Hetalia~
Lovino stared at himself in the mirror. It had been two weeks since he had received the note from the doctor and already his skin began to seem paler and his energy was slowly depleting. This was not good for Lovi at all.
He sighed and pulled out the bottle of cover up he had purchased the day before in case this happened. He slowly dabbed some on his face and rubbed it in. As Lovino did this he heard the rustling of sheets and cursed. He quickly hid the make up and left the bathroom. He looked over at his bed to find Antonio stretching his arms and yawning. Toni looked over at Lovi and smiled.
"Oh Lovi what are you doing up so early. You should come back to bed and cuddle with me since it's the weekend and I don't have work."
Lovino stared at Antonio and sighed. He glanced at the clock and figured he would allow Antonio his ' cuddle' time. Lovino walked over to the bed and sat himself on Toni's lap. Antonio wrapped his arms around his Italian and kissed the boys cheek. He snuggled his face against his. Lovino smiled softly somewhat enjoying the attention.
"Lovi you're so cute. I love you so much."
Now that was something that pained Lovino. His smiled shrunk and was now a slight frown. Whenever he heard Antonio speak the cursed three words it literally killed him on the inside. He bit his lip and closed his eyes to prevent himself from crying. After about three minutes Lovino opened his eyes and sighed.
"I... I love you to bastard..."
Lovino looked down at his feet and clenched his fist. Antonio awed and held Lovino tighter.
"Lovi your so lindo right now. I don't want to let you go not now not ever."
Though Antonio said the words with a happy voice and proud smile Lovino couldn't help but take them badly. He shook his head and pulled Antonio's hands off him. Lovino moved away from the Spaniard causing him to look at him sadly.
"Lovi what's wrong...?"
Lovino didn't answer but instead shook his head. He bit his lip and felt some stray tears roll down his cheek. Antonio noticed Lovino's tears and frowned. He quickly grabbed Lovi and pulled the boy to him. He began to softly rub Lovino's back soothingly.
"Lovi please no tears. Tell me what's wrong so I can help you."
"... No... Nothing's wrong... I...I just have been under stress... you know with having to clean and ...well whatever I'm just stressed."
Antonio pulled away from Lovino giggling. He kissed the Italian on the forehead.
"That's what's wrong. Oh Lovi if you were stressed you should have told me. I would have tried to help you out and let you relax more. Heck I would have even taken time off work to tend to your needs."
Antonio spoke with a true good natured smile, one that made Lovino look away. Lovino moved his hand up and wiped his face. He put on a fake smile and looked back at Antonio. Antonio was happy to see his Lovi's face with a little bit of happiness on it. Antonio stared at the clock and sighed.
"I guess it's time for me to get up and shower... would you like to join me?"
Lovino blushed and looked away.
"Hell No! Bastard why would I shower with you?!"
" Because you think I'm sexy and also because it would be a good way to save water with us showering together."
Antonio smirked and was proud of his explanation. Lovino shook his head and sighed. He knew Antonio wouldn't drop it so he nodded his head slowly. Antonio grabbed his arm and dragged him off to the bathroom.
~~~~Two hours later~~~~
The couple finally retreated out of the bathroom. The Spaniard was wearing a bright proud smile. While Lovino was flustered and had a slight limp to his walk. Antonio smiled over at his lover and made his way to the boy's side.
"Oh Lovi your limping. Want me to carry you around today."
Antonio wrapped his arms around Lovino. Lovino blushed in return and pushed the man away from him.
"NO I don't want you to carry me bastard!"
Antonio laughed causing Lovino to huff in frustration and leave the room quickly. He sighed and went down stairs. Instead of eating or getting coffee Lovino went over to the living room and stared out the large window. He gazed out into the warm morning looking distant. Antonio walked out and noticed Lovino's face and frowned. He went over and wrapped his arms around Lovi.
"wha-what are you doing bastard?!"
" I'm holding you, the way you were looking out the window seemed like you had gone somewhere far away in your mind leaving only your body here with me."
Lovino bit his lip and looked down. He sighed and pushed Antonio away. He grinned and stuck his tongue out.
"I didn't go off. I'm right here aren't I sheesh."
Lovino looked away crossing his arms. Antonio smiled good to see Lovino being fine. Lovino glared at the Spaniard then turned to walk off to the kitchen. Lovino pulled out a tomato from the fridge and took a bite of it. Antonio followed him and just watched him. He smiled lightly and went over to the Italian. Lovino simply didn't react to his boyfriend instead he just ate his tomato. Antonio sighed and left the kitchen wondering what was wrong with his boyfriend.
Lovino sighed and began to wonder if he should tell Antonio his secret. After about five minutes or thinking it over Lovino decided he couldn't do it. He wouldn't do it to him. The Italian left the kitchen to find his Spanish boyfriend texting someone while sitting on the couch. Curious of who Antonio was texting Lovino snuck up behind him. He looked over at the phone seeing the name Bella at the top of the text screen.
"Who's Bella?"
Antonio hadn't realized that Lovino had been behind him. Being startled he dropped his phone. Quickly he picked it up off the floor and turned to his unamused boyfriend.
"I didn't hear you come back into the room. What was it you asked me Lovi?"
Lovino's face was void of any real emotion as he stared. He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest knowing damn well that Toni had heard him. Lovino almost didn't ask the question again but curiosity got the best of him.
"Bastard you heard me. I asked who the hell Bella is. The girl you were just texting."
Antonio's eyes widened and he internally panicked. He tried to think you a good explanation without giving to much truth away. Lovino was staring that the poor man impatiently tapping his foot on the carpet.
"Oh well Lovi she's an old friend of mine. We went to college together. She actually texted me asking if I would like to go out and get a cup of coffee with her. She wants to catch up since it's been forever since we last chatted."
Antonio smiled brightly at Lovino hoping to god that the Italian would buy his story. Lovino definitely didn't buy it though. He knew his boyfriend was lying. He couldn't really call Antonio out on his lie though since Lovi didn't really have much evidence to back him up. Instead of arguing or prying Lovino sighed.
"Hm okay… Well then have fun catching up with her."
Lovino turned away from Antonio hurt in his eyes. Antonio stared at his boyfriends back feeling horrible for lying but he couldn't tell the truth no matter what. Lovino couldn't know the truth. The Spaniard walked up to his boyfriend and kissed his cheek from behind.
"I'll see you when I get home Lovi. I'll even make sure to bring you home a treat from the café."
With that said Antonio left the house. Lovi walked over to the window and watched with tears in his eyes as Antonio drove off to meet some mystery woman. Lovino furiously wiped at his eyes. He felt stupid for having little faith in his boyfriend. He should trust the man more. I mean they now both have a secret that the other couldn't tell anyone. Lovino groaned and hit his head into the wall. As he did that a picture fell from it. The glass protecting the photo shattered as it hit the ground. Lovino looked down cursing to himself. He bent down and moved the glass out of the way. Lovi slowly picked up the photo and stared at it. It was the day Lovino had finally graduated high school. Antonio had his arms around his waist. The two were smiling at the camera which was rare for Lovino.
"Dammit…"
Tears began to make their way back into the Italians eyes. He missed the old times when he and Antonio were more active as a couple and loving toward each other. That changed when Lovino's personality went sour. He really didn't have a good enough reason why he grew into an angry distant person. It began the last year of college for Antonio. He grew too busy for Lovino. He never paid much attention to the Italian. At some points Lovi had begun to think that his boyfriend was going to leave him. He didn't though, However Antonio started having less and less time with Lovino when he started work. Lovino was understanding in the beginning but grew upset with the small amounts of time he was getting with his boyfriend. Lovino never told Antonio any of this but he would bet that the man could already tell.
Now though looking at this picture Lovino's mind couldn't help but come up with some ridiculous thing to pester him. He grew worried that Antonio had grown bored with him and was cheating on him. Lovino broke down with the thought. Tears seemed to pour out of his eyes and didn't seem to have an end. He balled his hand up into a fist and hit the carpet, a piece of glass cutting into Lovi's fingers. He ignored the pain that overcame him. He also ignored the blood seeping out of the wound. He just continued to cry instead. Finally though Lovino ran out of tears. He slowly got up having to use the wall for balance since he was hit with a wave of dizziness.
Lovino eventually got himself to the bathroom and turned the sink on. He placed his hand under the water and slowly removed the shard of glass. He hissed in pain as it left his skin. The shard of glass was the thrown into the trash. Lovi opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a roll of gauze with the bottle of peroxide. After drying his hand off Lovino poured the peroxide onto the cut. It stung a little but that faded. He then wrapped the gauze around the wound. Once Lovino was down he went back into the living room. His gaze landed on the mess of glass. He quickly cleaned that up not wanting himself to get hurt again. After the glass was cleaned up Lovino turned the TV on and stared at the screen. He channel flipped for a while before just stopping on some American soap opera. Lovino blankly watched it only half paying attention. His mind had once again drifted off to thinking about Antonio and the mystery woman. Before long Lovino found himself drifting off to sleep.
Lovino was woken up by the sound of water running upstairs. He turned the TV off and stretched his arms out. Lovino made his way upstairs into the bedroom he and his boyfriend shared. He looked at the bathroom door to find it closed. He assumed that Antonio was taking a shower. Lovi found himself stripping down to his boxers and climbing into bed to wait for the Spaniard. Eventually Antonio did leave the bathroom. He turned the lights off and climbed into bed next to Lovino. Lovino turned toward his lover and did something he never really did on his own. He kissed Antonio full on the lips. Lovino tried to deepen the kiss but Antonio had lightly pushed the boy away. Lovino was completely shocked by this.
"Sorry Lovi but not tonight I'm too tired."
That being spoken Antonio turned to his side and closed his eyes falling into a light sleep. He had no idea that he left his lover Lovino crying. Lovino laid his head on his pillow and allowed the tears that escaped his eyes to slowly slide down his face. Antonio had never ever declined the opportunity to make love. Usually he was the one instigating it. Lovino had finally, before he fell asleep, come up with a reason for Antonio's behavior. He decided the man was finally bored of him. With all this negative thinking Lovino's chest tightened and he let out a few harsh coughs. After his mini coughing fit Lovino fell asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Time Skip~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lovino awoke on the fourth day of the week. Just like all the other days that week there lying on Antonio's side of the bed was a note. Lovino already knew what he said but he picked it up and read it anyway.
"I've gone off to work for the day. After work I'm going to hang with Bella again so don't wait up for me."
Lovino hadn't even noticed but a few tears landed on the paper. He crumpled it up and threw it in the garbage. That was the third note he had received like that. Antonio kept meeting up with some girl leaving him alone. Lovino felt like he had lost completely now. His life was soon to end and he assumed so was his relationship. Lovino feeling fully defeated walked into his bathroom. He looked in the mirror and smiled sadly.
"Well if Antonio wants to go off to some woman than fine. He doesn't need me anymore so there's no point in me waiting for the end to come. I'll just have to speed up the process."
Lovino pulled out a bag he had kept hidden behind the sink. His hand reached into the bag and pulled out what he was looking for. The item was a fairly old razor. He stared at it with lifeless eyes remembering the last time he cut when Antonio was in college. Lovino held onto the razor and walked over to the bathtub which he turned on. He waited as the bathtub filled with burning hot water. Once Lovino though the bath was filled good enough he held the razor above his wrist and closed his eyes. He slowly allowed himself to glide the razor through his wrist. Blood dripped from the razor when he finished. He threw the razor across the floor and dropped his wrist into the bathwater. Lovino's vision grew blurry and he knew he was going to pass out but before he did a few words left his mouth.
"Sorry you don't love me anymore Antonio…"
- Elsewhere-
Antonio held up his hand and admired the object in it. He smiled overjoyed and hugged his friend. Bella hugged the Spaniard back. She began to laugh when Antonio continued to once again stare at his new item.
"Oh Bella thank you for helping me find the right ring. I couldn't have found this on my own."
" Your welcome Antonio. It was no big deal really. You asked for my help so I gave you it. So when are you going to pop the question."
Bella smiled at Antonio elbowing his side slightly. Antonio laughed and stared down at the ring.
"Next month on his birthday. That's when I'm going to Propose to my Lovino."
Well shit that was quite a plot twist in things. I wonder if Lovino's going to be fine or if Antonio finds out about any of this. You'll just have to continue to read to find out. Review liked and welcomed~
