I was stunned.
His hands dug deeper into his pockets as his eyes gazed at me. Waiting. I couldn't speak. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears.
Peter was asking ME to the dance. ME!
We stood there for a small eternity, both of us frozen like icicles in a storm. One waiting on an answer and the other unable to speak.
I breathed through the thumping beats in my chest before saying, "Me?"
He nodded his head. Suddenly I remembered what Mia had said. Wasn't he supposed to already have a date. Was I his second choice.
I couldn't control the crazy thought from sprinting circles in my head. My heart eased as my nerves now turned into ice cold indifference. "I thought you already had a date?" I said passively. I was hurt. I was accusatory. His own eyes twisted in pain as he tried to understand the sudden change.
"Who told you that?" He countered just as quickly. It was his turn to be hurt. My heart beat faster. His eyes narrowed as he took a small step closer. I looked into them realizing the craziness of my words. Someone had told Mia a lie.
"I heard. Around," I said trying to salvage my dignity. If I had any left at this point.
He moved closer. His right hand now rose up to his shoulder as he hooked his fingers below the strap of his backpack. Resting on his left leg he said, "You shouldn't listen to people you know." Another pause. "Anyway," he said with finality. I couldn't stop feeling empty and alone. I had accused him and I didn't even really know him. My heart sank deeper into my stomach.
"I'm sorry," I blurted out. "I shouldn't have repeated it. I really wanted to go to the dance with you. I didn't think you were going to ask me and I was-"
I couldn't finish that sentence. I didn't need to as he suddenly looked right at me with sympathetic eyes. I stiffened and tried to smile. "Pathetic right," I said locking my hands across my chest.
"No," he said.
What I really wanted to say was that I felt jealous. Jealous of the person who did get to go with him. "Ever since you came to this school I've been curious about you. The new girl with no apparent backstory," he said. Was the mystery the part he cared about?
"No mystery," I said. "My dad left when I was ten. Mom is still around. She's great. Amazing actually. And this is the second school I've moved to. End of story," I said hoping it would lift the mystery.
"That's not what I mean," he said, "And I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I just wanted to get to know you. I feel a bond with you. Hope that's not weird."
"No," I said. "I feel the same." His eyes looked down sending his hair falling in a gently caramel cascade. I wanted to reach out and touch it. I wanted to run my hands through each strand and feel my fingers against his skin.
He looked at the end of the hallway. It was just us. And our small universe.
There wasn't much space left between us so when he took a final step closer I became nervous. My eyes were inches from his lips. I tried to not focus on them. "Yes." I said nervously unaware of what I was saying yes to. My mind left my body. All I could think about was his breath against mine. It smelled of pepper and cinnamon and mint. I dug my heels to the ground, my back straight but my legs showing signs of weakness. My knees buckled.
"You were actually the one I wanted to ask ever since…" He didn't finish his sentence. He didn't need to. My skin froze as I remembered that day. Every time I thought back to it I couldn't believe I'd made it out alive.
A heat of embarrassment washed over me. I was wrong for judging him so quickly.
"I can't thank you enough," I said.
His hand grabbed a hold of mine. "Please don't. Thank me I mean," he said releasing my hand. "Just say you'll go to the dance with me."
"You really want to go?" I said. He wanted to go with me as much as I did with him.
"Only of it's with you."
My heart squeezed in my chest then dropped to my stomach.
"Yes," I said breathless. "Of course."
His eyes dropped to my lips. "So I'll come and pick you up?" he said his eyes frozen there.
"Sure," I said biting them and looking away. Moments of focus like this where it was only us were too beautiful for me to withstand. It was like being next to a burning flame and still wanting to walk through it. It was like being lifted into the air and feeling weightless and filled with all the beauty in the world. It was too much to feel that happy. I didn't understand it. To be honest the feeling terrified me.
Something had changed. Peter had entered my world. Like a beautiful star from a far distant place. Here he was before me and I couldn't handle him or how he made me feel. Love sucked. I loved my father so much. But he didn't love me. Not enough to stay. And maybe that was why I was so afraid of Peter. Maybe I was afraid of feeling happy.
"Are you okay," his voice soothed from a corner in my mind. I blinked and looked into his waiting eyes.
"I'm sorry. Sometimes I lose myself…"
He licked his lips and smiled. "It's good to lose yourself sometimes." He ran his hands through his hair and looked away as he continuing to smile. "Pick you up at 7?"
"Okay," I said.
His smile grew into a warm glow that seemed to radiate from his eyes. I looked at his perfectly straight teeth. My eyes followed the line of them to their soft centre. The thought of kissing him flashed in my mind. What would it feel like? If his eyes could make me feel like the universe no longer existed I'd probably catch fire if his lips touched mine.
I erased the thought from my mind and looked up into his eyes. His equally distracting almond shaped eyes seemed to glitter in the light of his smile.
Oh I was going to be in trouble. The thought that I'd be spending an entire evening with him both thrilled and terrified me. What would he ask me? What would I say? Would we slow dance together and for how many songs? Would he kiss me? Did I want to be kissed? Could I handle a kiss from Peter Parker?
"I'll see you tomorrow night," he said. "Stay safe till then." I couldn't help but smile back at him as radiantly as he'd smiled at me. He was contagious. I definitely had the Peter Parker virus.
He waved goodbye and left down the hallway.
I took a few steps back till my back hit the cool metal ridges of my locker. "Oh boy," I whispered. I lunged forward, pulling my bag over my shoulder. Then I ran down the hallway too.
I was going to go home and finish the last of my math homework. Then I was going to ask mom if she could help me pick out a dress for the dance.
I had two to choose from. One that I wore for parties. It was simple, practical and black. And the other was my attempt at being trendy. It was blue, lace and sparkly. Now that I thought about it I was sure that I wasn't going to wear that one.
Dress was picked out in that case. I was going to wear my little black dress. It was above the knee with spaghetti straps. I was going to wear my curly black hair up. And my small string of pearls.
I hadn't made out of school and I already felt lighter. I opened the entrance doors and skipped down the stairs. I stopped on the last step. Someone was watching me. I had a good sense for things like that. I looked around the empty parking lot. I looked ahead into the trees. I looked up and then behind me.
Nothing.
I jumped down the last step and began to walk home. The feeling persisted but I tried my best to bury it in the back of my mind. I had a date with Peter Parker.
