Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl, and all characters associated with him, nor do I own J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter, and all characters associated with him.

A/N: I am so sorry it's been so long since I updated (not as long as last time, but…) I truly meant to, but then our pastor died (he's also my great uncle) and a bunch of other crap happened… and I'm sorry. Please enjoy the next chapter and I assure that I am working on the next chapter right now!

Chapter Three

Artemis nervously waited for Harry's answer. He knew what he had said had surprised his friend. Normally he wouldn't worry about Harry's reaction, but he had changed a great deal since last summer. The summer from three years ago, Artemis reminded himself.

Harry heaved a shuddering sigh. "I'll do it. I'll teach you what I know about the wizarding world," he finally said.

"The wizarding world?" Artemis asked lightly. He was sure he knew what Harry was talking about. The things that had happened to haunt his friend. However, Artemis wanted Harry to confirm his thoughts.

"Politics, war. All the stuff you love to dabble in. Or, at least, you used to," Harry corrected himself. He looked unsure of what he was doing.

"No," Butler stated. "We're not going to get involved in another war." His stern visage had become, if possible, even sterner.

"No?" Artemis looked surprised. He hadn't expected Butler to disagree with him. He hadn't done that since… Artemis thought back. He couldn't remember the last time Butler had disagreed with him.

"No, we are not going to become involved in another war. I have watched you kidnap-" Butler looked at Harry and revised what he was about to say, "people, I have let you endanger my baby sister numerous times, and I have come close to dying for you. We are not going to involve ourselves in another war."

"Butler. This government will demand that I attend a school of some sort, so that I will know how to use my ability. If I were to refuse Hogwarts' offer, the…" Artemis trailed off and looked at Harry.

Harry stared at Artemis, wondering what he wanted. "The Ministry of Magic," Potter supplied hastily, realizing that Artemis wanted the government name.

"The Ministry of Magic would probably do their best to remove this ability or they would remove the obstacle keeping me from going to their school. If either of these failed, they would stop me from using it. Permanently. It is in my best interest, and in my family's best interests, to accept this offer. If I am going to accept this offer, then I plan on knowing everything I can possibly learn before entering the situation. That way, I will be better prepared. Was it not you who told me to learn to use every ability to the best of my ability?" Butler met Artemis' gaze. His brown eyes bored into Artemis' mismatched eyes.

Seeing that Artemis would not back down, Butler gave in. "Fine. We'll do this. Harry, please begin the debriefing."

"Okay. It begins with Voldemort. About twentyfive years ago, he began looking for followers. Some joined for a portion of his power, others because of fear. Those days are rumored to be among the wizarding world's darkest days. Voldemort was taking over. The ones that stood up to him, he killed horribly. One of the only safe places left was Hogwarts. Dumbledore, the headmaster, is said to be the only person Voldemort fears. He came after my mum and dad and killed them both. When he tried to kill me, something happened. Know one knew what. Voldemort disappeared after that day and no one knew what had happened to him. Some thought he was dead. Then, last year, he came back. No one other than the Order of the Phoenix believes that Voldemort is alive and back," Harry finished. He sat back in his chair, sighing. He had tried to be as matter-of-fact and confident about the whole tale. Tried not to show how desperate he was to have Artemis believe him.

Artemis sat silently contemplating what he had been told. "What is your Ministry of magic doing about this?" Artemis asked curiously. He leaned forward onto his desk, avoiding his laptop. His different colored eyes stared straight into Harry's green ones.

"Our Ministry supports the belief that I am crazy, Dumbledore is off his rocker, and Voldemort is dead," Harry contemptuously spat out. His mouth was twisted into a disgusted sneer, eyes angrily glaring out from beneath his black brows.

"Then I might as well become a vigilante." Artemis was doing his best to be objective, knowing that those words could put him into whatever wizard jail the Ministry had on hand. Harry, on hearing the term vigilante, had immediately pictured Artemis being out in the middle of the Wild West, dressed in dusty chaps and a faded shirt with spurs clanking on the ground as boots purposely hit the boards that lifted the townsfolk out of the dusty streets. Artemis and Butler stared at Harry, who was laughing so hard, he had fallen out of his chair. Artemis turned to Butler. "Is my becoming a vigilante really that amusing?"

"No," Butler replied, also puzzled about Harry's reaction. He regarded Harry, frowning. Then his brow cleared as Harry got up from the floor, wiping tears from his eyes and muttering about how much he had needed that. "It wasn't the thought of Artemis dispensing illegal justice that made you laugh, was it?" Butler questioned Harry; beginning to chuckle a bit himself as he imagined what must have made Harry laugh.

"No," Harry got out, struggling not to burst into laughter again. "No, it wasn't." Butler's face creased into a full-blown grin, as Artemis looked on, still confused. Harry explained, "It was the thought of you standing before Voldemort on a dusty street from the Wild West, dressed as a vigilante, with wand in hand, that made me laugh." Harry fought the giggles that still tried to escape. Artemis sat in his chair, processing what Harry had said. His bewilderment turned into something akin to disgust.

"I can now understand why that picture would have made you laugh," Artemis allowed. Harry just grinned in reply. Artemis' face became thoughtful as he contemplated a different question. "Who do you suppose this escort Dumbledore is sending will be?"

"Oh, probably Hagrid," Harry answered, dismissively waving a hand.

A/N: sorry its been so long… I'm working on the fourth chapter right now. I'm taking it down to make some changes, but it should be up by the end of the week!