Disclaimer: not mine. not making money off this.
"Argh!" I pounded the floor in frustration. My legs had collapsed under me for the hundredth time and despite Yamato's assurances, I did not seem to be making any progress. "God DAMMIT!" I crawled to the bar installed in the wall of the room we were using and attempted to raise myself up.
"Whoa, easy, Tai. This is going to take some time, I told you that, remember? Just calm down." He smiled and gently pried my fingers from the cold metal, catching me around the waist before I fell yet again. "You won't get anywhere if you get frustrated."
"Shut up." I looked away, feeling my face getting red. I HATED my dependency on him and the wheelchair given to me by the hospital. I hated the fact that my own body seemed to be working against me. I wanted so badly to walk, just stand up and walk but my goddamn legs wouldn't hold up my weight. "I hate this."
"This is only our third session, Tai. It would have been a miracle if you'd been able walk, not to mention, stand. It's not abnormal or a sign of weakness or anything like that." He set me on the floor so my back was leaning against the wall and sat down next to me. "Don't worry about it."
"I know, I know. You've spoon-fed me this shit ever since you met me." I looked him in the eye, something I found that I had trouble doing. "It's just that—my father won't even acknowledge me now. Not that he ever did but this is different. It's as if he thinks that, by ignoring me, he can pretend that this is just a bad dream and that I'm dead and gone, end of story, not alive and useless to him in a wheelchair, eating his food and wasting his money." I didn't even try to hide the bitterness in my voice. "His precious money." I lapsed into a brooding silence, thinking of the horrible things my father had said and done since I had returned home. The barely controlled disgust with which he addressed me was depressing but the way his eyes skipped past me every time I said something and the way he completely ignored my words was even worse.
"Well, that's it for today." Yamato rose suddenly, startling me out of my reverie. "Here, let me help you." Before I could do anything, he had put his arms under me and scooped me up.
"The FUCK!" I yelped and instinctively began flailing my arms, hitting him once or twice with my fist or elbow. This did not perturb him; he carried me, still struggling, to my wheelchair where he dropped me. "NO. We can't end yet. I'm not even tired. Look, I didn't even break a sweat. Come on, Yamato, come OOON."
"Sorry. No can do. I have something planned for today so our session has to end now," he said, cheerfully, smirking down at me. I glared. Damn him to hell. If it weren't for this stupid semi-paralysis shit, I would already have tackled him and given him a good punch to that pretty little face. Then again, if I WASN'T paralyzed, I wouldn't have any reason for knowing him and so, would not be in the predicament of wanting to punch him. Still, as he smiled down at me, I was overcome with the urge to get my hands around his throat and squeeze.
"You're supposed to be my therapist, damn you! You're supposed to put YOUR life on hold until I can wa—HEY! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!" I roared furiously, bringing my hands up to tear off the blindfold he had just placed around my eyes and throw my best glare at him.
"No, stop Tai, please?" He caught my wrists, arresting any movement on my part and I could feel his imploring gaze. "It's a surprise and I don't want you to know anything until we get there." I grumbled but desisted struggling, though I couldn't help it when he lifted off the t-shirt I was wearing.
"Isn't there a law against this?" I hissed through gritted teeth, rocking my body back and forth in the chair.
"Relax, will you?" he cried out, "I'm not doing anything to you. I just need to help you change your shirt as your present attire is not suitable. It's just your shirt, okay? Now lift your arms." Helpless and knowing full well that the stubborn son of a bitch would find a way to get the damn shirt on me whatever I tried, I did as I was told, sticking out my tongue at him in a futile gesture at defiance. He only chuckled.
"Quit being such a baby, Tai. It's not becoming in a fully grown young man like you."
"I am NOT a baby," I muttered, "you are." He laughed and I could imagine him shaking his head at me. He didn't reply and instead, I heard the rustling of a paper bag and felt him slide another shirt on me. It felt familiar but I couldn't quite place when I had felt it before.
"Now, if you're done pouting, I'm going to take you out on a little field trip. How would you like that?" The falsely cheery voice he was using was the same voice I remembered my kindergarten teacher talking to me. I scowled unhappily but getting out for a bit, even with the stupid bastard, was highly appealing.
"Yeah, yeah," I finally mumbled and he began to roll me away from the air-conditioned room into the sun. I heard him hail a cab and when it stopped, he helped me inside, along with my wheelchair. I could hear him whispering our destination to the driver but couldn't make out a single word that he said. When the half-hour drive was over, he pulled me out, paid the driver and wheeled me down an uneven path.
I could hear the sounds of cheering, the rustling of trees, and exciting shouting of young children. There was a faint scent of grass, moist dirt, and barbecue in the air and all of a sudden, I was struck with the notion that Yamato had brought me to a park. Presently, we stopped and here, the cheering was even louder.
"Ta-da!" He pulled off the blindfold with a flourish and as my eyes adjusted to the sudden light, I saw that we were indeed at a park. More specifically, we were at a grassy field with white lines painted on the grass and I realized we were at a football field. I looked up and in front of me was a group of people, wearing red and white jerseys, black shorts, and red socks pulled over bulky shin guards. They smiled at me and my mouth dropped open. My teammates were all there, people I hadn't seen for months. My shock gave way to ecstasy as my best friend and co-captain, Sora, raced over.
"Hi Taichi," she smiled, "good to see you." Her bright eyes skipped over the scar that ran from my right temple to my right ear, a lasting and visible testament to my near death experience. "How've you been? When can you play again? We need you."
"I dunno." I dodged the question and felt Yamato throw me a sharp look. An awkward silence descended upon us and Sora fidgeted.
"Well, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend here? How rude of you, Taichi." Despite the light tone of her voice, I knew she was only trying to change the subject to alleviate my discomfort and I was grateful.
"Him? He's Ishida Yamato." At the sound of his name, he looked up and smiled.
"Hello," he said, bowing his head.
"Oh, yes. I'm Sora," she replied. "Pleased to meet you, Ishida-san." I watched her closely and could see the color rising in her cheeks. She brought a hand to her ear and tucked an invisible strand of auburn hair behind it. Her toe ground into the dirt and her brown eyes darted everywhere but at Yamato's face. For the first time since I had known her, I was seeing her acting differently around a boy.
"Ooh. So-ra's got a cru-ush!" I teased happily in a sing-song tone. She turned a deep red and glared at me.
"Shut it, Taichi. I do not!" Her voice rose in pitch, making her statement completely unbelievable. Yamato's expression didn't change but I could see a smile twitching on his lips. "You are SUCH a bug, Tai!"
"Hey, Sora! Quit flirting with your boyfriend and get over here already! The match's about to start!" Kiro, our goalie, called out. She spun on her heel, digging up the grass with her cleats.
"I am not flirting!" she screeched at his direction but the rest of the guys just laughed.
"If you're not flirting then I'm the queen of England." Someone else called out.
"Guess I'd better go. See you, Taichi. Bye Yamato. You guys want to join us after the match?" I looked at Yamato and he nodded, causing Sora to beam. "Great! Well, just hang around, I guess. It's always nice to have some,"
"SORA!" Kiro yelled frantically. "Get your bum over here right now!" she jumped and jogged onto the field just as the whistle blew for play to begin. The opposing team immediately took control of the ball and began to dribble towards our goalie.
As the ball moved down the field and back again, I watched intently, staring hard so the feeling of crying would go away. Football was my life and the mere fact that I was physically unable to play was tearing at my guts. I had been injured numerous times before and forced to sit out but this was different. At least, with a sprained ankle or twisted knee, I knew that, as I sat at the sidelines, I would be playing in a matter of weeks. Now, there was no chance I would ever have of being out there again. A hand rested on my shoulder and a shadow blocked the wane winter light.
"Hey. So? What'd you think?" Yamato asked, kneeling in front of me with a hopeful smile on his face. I shook my head, still watching my teammates dribbling the ball away from our goalie. "Oh. Sorry if I offended you somehow."
"No, no. It's not that, Yamato. I mean, thanks. A lot. I really appreciate it. It's just that," I struggled to find the right words to convey all the emotions that were currently churning in my stomach.
"I just thought you'd like to see your friends, is all. I mean, seeing as they haven't been able to visit you at the hospital."
"Don't you mean, they just haven't bothered?" I mumbled resentfully, staring at my feet.
"What did you say?" Yamato's grip tightened on my shoulder. "Look, Tai, your friends came around every day for two weeks, asking if they could see you. The doctors told them they weren't allowed since you were hooked up to so many machines that were keeping you alive, they were afraid something might happen and you'd be hurt even more. When you woke up, your friends came by again but—er—your emotional state was deemed—unhealthy and, since you'd taken to chucking things at anyone who walked through the door, they felt it better that your mates not see you like that."
I didn't remember that. It seemed as if a chunk of time had vanished, leaving an empty space in my memories. The days from when I was told that I was partially paralyzed to the time I was released from the hospital and well enough to begin physical therapy was a big blur that was dark and black and forbidding. When I wheeled through the door to the place where I had grown up, I felt as if I had woken up from a dream. I began to wish that I couldn't remember what went on after that. My father did not take kindly to the fact that I was useless, that I had to depend on a metal chair on wheels to move. He was always tense, always too formal when I was around and, even when I addressed him directly, ignored my presence.
"Taichi! Taichi, we won!" Sora threw her arms around my neck, practically choking the life out of me. "Oh my God, we won!" She released me and did a little dance of victory, her face a picture of utter ecstasy. I laughed and congratulated her. "You CAN come with us afterwards, right? We're celebrating."
"Don't worry about it, Sora." Yamato assured her and she beamed. Following her and the rest of my somewhat shocked teammates, he wheeled me out to the parking lot. "You DO want to go, right, Tai?" I nodded, sharing in the excitement of my friends.
"Hurry up, guys. We're about to leave." Sora shouted from the door to a bus-like vehicle. When he reached the van, he scooped me out and placed me in the seat closest to the door. Everyone became silent as Yamato folded the wheelchair and climbed in, sitting in the center seat. The ride was silent as we were transported to the clubhouse which sponsored our team and provided showers to us after games. The van pulled into its designated parking space and everyone clambered out, everyone but me and Yamato.
"What's wrong?" he asked, sensing my disquiet. I leaned my head back against the seat and sighed.
"I want to be normal again. I want to be like everyone else. I wish this had never happened." I sighed again. "You said I threw stuff at people who walked into my room. Did I do that to my mom and Kari?"
"No. They were kept away also." I nodded, glad that I hadn't been able to do anything to hurt them. "The nurses who were allowed into your room were the ones who were especially adept at ducking. And they only entered to check up on you. Aside from them, I was the only one you saw during that period of time."
"Did I throw things at you?"
"Nope. You just went silent and stared out the window." I wondered why but didn't voice the question aloud. When I didn't say anything else, he took that to mean that I wasn't keen on continuing the conversation. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, he began to hum a song that I had never heard before. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and watched him twiddling his thumbs. The weak sunlight shone through the windows and caught on the golden silk strands on his head, causing his hair to shine. Thinking back, I remembered our first session together, how he had insisted we ask each other questions for about ten minutes. I had asked if he had a girlfriend and he had smiled ruefully, shaking his head no. At the time, I hadn't thought anything of it. He had irritated me somewhat and I had chalked up his single status to the fact that no girl was willing to put up with his biting sarcasm. Looking at him carefully, though, I realized how illogical that seemed. He was the kind of guy who was wanted by every girl and envied by everyone else. Any girl in her right mind would put up with anything just to have the chance to be with him. Sora was the perfect example for my assumptions. She was suspicious and skeptical of any male who dared enter within her realm of existence. I had known her for as long as I could remember so she was fine with me but anyone else was treated with indifference and, more often than not, ignorance.
It wasn't that she hated males, really. No, it was more of the fact that she had a hard time trusting them. Her father had walked out on her when she was nine and, to this day, her face tightens when any mention of her father is made. Yet, I mused thoughtfully, with Yamato she seemed perfectly at ease. Or, not at ease at all. She went shy and giggly, blushing furiously and speaking in a high, breathy tone of voice I never thought I'd hear her use.
"It's nice, I suppose?" Yamato spoke up suddenly, looking out the window. "Having friends, I mean? Friends who give a shit?" This was a strange thing to say and I furrowed my brow at him. His easy smile and kind blue eyes, not to mention, his aura of cool confidence, seemed to me the kind to attract all sorts of friends. He seemed to me the type who was always surrounded by a group of friends, all like him in the sense that the world did nothing to affect them, that they were untouchable by all that was distasteful and ugly. Basically, the type of people you hated.
"What's that?" Yamato jumped and turned to look at me with his mouth half-open, looking mildly surprised.
"Your friends. They—," he paused and looked out the front windshield and gestured with a thin hand, "they actually give a damn about you. About what YOU want. How YOU'RE feeling. Must be nice." I followed his gaze and heard the excited laughter of my team. When I turned back to Yamato, he had twisted his body away. The door slid open and the team, freshly showered and exuberant, clambered aboard. Before we knew it, we were on the road; this time towards the over-twenty-one club a few blocks away.
"Excited, Taichi?" Sora asked breathlessly, turning around in the front seat and peering past the headrest. "You haven't been yet. Bleedin' hell, it's amazing."
There was a long line winding down the block by the time we found a parking space and had unloaded the van. Kiro groaned loudly, exclaiming that by the time we got to the entrance, the club would be too full. Sora shook her head, smiling mysteriously and beckoned us, not to the tail-end of the line, but to the front.
"Hold it, miss. And where do you think YOU'RE going?" the massive security guard loomed over her, muscular arms crossed at his chest.
"Shut it, Tom." Sora giggled and flipped her hair back. "Let us in, yeah?" Tom's frown broke into a grin and he rolled his eyes affectionately at her.
"Fine, fine. Say hi to your mother for me." Ignoring the various shouts and catcalls coming from the line, we pushed our way in. Yamato and I were the last of our group and as we passed the disgruntled crowd, someone called out,
"Look, boys! We've got a helpless little girl being pushed by her fella! What's a cripple going into a dance club for?" Half-concealed chuckles and rib-elbowing ensued.
"Ignore them, Taichi." Yamato whispered urgently and, with one last shove, we were in the club. Deafening music was being played from the gigantic speakers in the corners of the room and already, there was a mass of bodies undulating and moving with the beat.
"Great, isn't it?" Sora yelled. I could barely hear her over the music and we fought our way to a quieter place. "Drinks, anyone?" Yamato sat beside me, sliding down in the chair so his shoulder blades were resting above the back of the chair. After everyone had had at least one alcoholic drink, I watched as one by one, they disappeared into the mass of sweat and humanity. Sora was pulled away by Kiro and, eventually, it was just me and Yamato.
"You alright?" he asked, watching me closely with a piercing gaze. I looked over his shoulder and saw two girls nudging each other and eyeing him, giggling to each other. Without meaning to, I shook my head. I wasn't okay. I was humiliated. And despite what he might say about not caring what others said, what the idiots of the world said, I did care. "Look, Tai—," he began but I cut him off.
"Drop it, alrigh'?" I snapped, fidgeting with my hands. "I don't want to talk about it." He edged closer but fell silent. We sat in companionable silence, just watching everyone and taking in the sounds and smells of the club. "Hey, if you want to dance, I won't mind. I'm not being the best company, after all." I spoke up, noticing something increasingly restless in his posture. He only shook his head.
"I'm fine. Besides, if I left, you'd be alone. And as your therapist, I'm not supposed to leave you alone. It's my job and if anything happened to you while I was gone, I would be fired, not to mention receive a hefty lawsuit from your parents. Wouldn't want that, now would I?"
"Fine then, suit yourself." I was slightly disappointed with his answer. I didn't know why and I didn't know what I was expecting but I suppose I wanted to hear that he was choosing to sit beside me rather than feeling it his duty. God, Tai. At least he's not actually leaving. And since when did you WANT something like that!
A/N: Ugh. Ugly place to leave off, eh? It's just that I want to get on with the next chapter and finish with this one already. It's one of my longest, aren't you all proud of me? —smiles expectantly at readers— Okay, I'll try and get the next one up soon… I already have something in mind…
