"Back to December"

Original Song by Taylor Swift


A/N: Finally, an update... school has started, so I'm literally busy... anyhow, another reflective chapter, and it's longer... hope you enjoy it!


I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life? Tell me, how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while


A few days after that, I found two letters stuck under the house. Well, since she left, I resided here alone. One was from Nodoka. I opened it to see what's inside. In the middle were sentences of invitation. Nodoka was holding a birthday party on December 26th, and she was expecting Ritsu and I to be there. I smiled though my heart ache. I proceeded to open the other envelope. Inside was a folded letter, but electricity seemed to flow through me as I recognized the handwriting.

Mio, I'm sorry for my attitude. I know I'm wrong the whole time, but I can't bring myself to admit it. I'm terribly sorry. You deserved someone better than me. Once again, I'm sorry. – Ritsu

I was on the verge of crying. When I looked down, I noticed a bouquet of flower. I immediately knew it was from her. But when I remembered her silence, I felt anger filling me. She must learn how to pay for her own mistake. I left it there, slipping back to my house.

I woke up, gasping for breath as I return from my nightmare. What happened after that event was another event that tore my heart to pieces. I was engulfed in remorse every time I remembered it. Two days later, I was entering the door of Manabe residence. Yui greeted me with her usual cheerful tone.

"Mio-chan, welcome!" I only nodded in reply. I tried my best to put on a weak smile as I stepped in. Yui was still standing by the door, looking around. Mugi noticed my strange behavior though.

"Mio-chan, where's Ricchan?" Upon hearing that question, I fell to my knees, crying. All of them rushed to my side, asking what happened.

"She left… and, and, I…" I told them the entire story. I thought they would support my opinion. But the four of them only stood agape and looked helplessly at each other. I was curious, so I asked what's wrong.

"Mio, Ritsu came over to my house last week." Nodoka unexpectedly started up a conversation. I was curious what she was doing, but I let her continue. "You know that my office and hers are working together, right?"

"Yes?"

"Well, a while ago, my superiors cancelled our agreements. And from the looks of it, her company was having a bad financial condition." She gulped before continuing. "The boss decided to put the blame on her, since she was the one he entrusted those agreements to."

"Wha- How could he-" I stuttered.

"She told me and begged me to talk with my boss. I was surprised with the prone look in her eyes, the one I'd never seen before. Of course, I phoned him immediately, but his answer was still no. Ritsu started crying then." She continued while still stooping her head. "She said she needed this agreement to adopt children like you always wanted to."

At the end of her sentence, I fell to my knees, tears overflowing from my eyes. All of them embraced me, and told me that I should call her. So call her I did. She finally picked up, and we agreed on meeting in my house tomorrow. And on the next morning…

"Hey there." She greeted me, but I missed her wide grin. Instead of it, a weak artificial smile was there.

"A-ah, hey." I stammered. "How are you?"

"Fine."

"Your family?"

"Died in a car crash accident two days ago." She said without any hint of remorse or lament in her voice, but the smile had melted away.

"I-I see. I'm sorry for you."


You've been good, busier than ever

A small talk, working the weather

Your guard is up, and I know why


"So… How's your job? I hear you moved?"

"Yeah, I found a better job just yesterday, and though it's more tiring, but it's more paying, since I have to pull a lot of all-nighters."

"I… see." I was rather disappointed with her defensive state. The usual her would've talk about it for at least ten more minutes. I could blame nobody but myself for that, though.

Because the last time you saw me still burn in the back of your mind

You gave me roses, and I left them there to die

The next days, I was sitting on my bench in my garden, enjoying a cup of Darjeeling tea Mugi sent a day earlier. I was staring at the empty yet peaceful street when a brunette entered my sight. I gasped in shock as she was simply stealing a glance at my front door as she continued her stride. I could see a disheartened look on her face. She said nothing as she met my eyes briefly before flying away from the scene.

I suddenly recalled the event that happened after she sent me the roses. Yes, I ignored them and let them died in front of my door. She must've known that I rejected her at that moment. And that short meeting was cut when she received a text message from her new boss that told her to attend an important meeting. So I waved goodbye, though my heart ached.


These days, I haven't been sleeping
Staying up, playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed, and I didn't call


It has been nine months, huh? I thought to myself. I'd been living a pretty much same life just like before I knew her. And somehow, I didn't call her on August 21st. Her birthday. I knew I have to at least say "happy birthday" to her, just like what she did for me on January 15th.


Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I loved you in the fall


I recalled our trip to the beach last summer. In fact, it's the only summer we'd been through. You drove me to the beach. We had so much fun there. I watched you laughing at our banters in the car, but I didn't think about it too much. Now that you're gone, I realized that I'm deeply in love with you, and I just couldn't think of any reason why I said those things.


And then the cold came, the dark days
When fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye


I tried to recreate the event in my mind, trying to find what's wrong with my mind. Now that I knew you were thinking about me and my dreams that you pushed yourself over the limit, and I snapped at you for that, made me felt guilty. Your love was sincere but my emotions got the best of me. That would be the only moment I wanted to go back to in my whole life.


I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile
So good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry


Now that I'd realized what they mean by "you never realized something until it's gone" and "nothing lasts forever, don't you ever take a thing for granted", it struck me that I'm, in fact, missing her. Her sweet smiles, her trademark hairband, her Cheshire grin, her remarks about me, all her teasings. I regretted why I was so selfish, didn't even try to understand the problem from a different point of view.


Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right


I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand

So I gathered my courage and phoned her office. I found out that she went home early that day, so I asked them if they knew where she was living. I drove my old car to her apartment, which turned out to be a small one. I took a deep breath and knocked on the wood door.

"Coming!" A familiar voice came out and there was a sound of running towards the door. I gulped hard when she opened the door and was fazed to see me again. I'm ready to run back to my car had she came back in and locked the door.


But this is me, swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you
, saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing
, but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I go back to December
, turn around and make it all right

I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time.


But she smiled at me and gestured me to come into her room. I nodded lightly and followed her into a small and messy room. I expect nothing more from her, though. I chuckled at my own inner thoughts. She frowned at me.

"What were you thinking just now?"

"Nothing."

"It's a lie."

"It's not."

"…"

"…" Awkward silence filled the room. I stirred my mind to strike up a conversation, but to no avail. She pointed to the couch, telling me to sit there, so sit I there. She walked to the kitchenette and made two cups of tea. Think think think Mio, you're here. What should you say?

"So… how're you doing?" She broke my out of my trance while putting down a tray with two cups on it.

"Good, I guess?" I said prior to sip my tea. "How about you?"

"A bit of complex, but yeah, still living my life."

"I… see."

"So, what brings you to my humble abode?"

"I want to tell you something."

"And that would be?"

"Err.. How to put it…"

"What?"

Goddamnit, doesn't she know confessing to your ex isn't easy?

"Well… I…"

"I can cook something for dinner while waiting you assemble your words, you know."

"Ah… It's… I…"

"So, would you like an omelet or a cup noodle?"

"Omelet is fine."

"Okay then. Make sure you regained yourself during the time span."

Ten more deafening silence ricocheted. My head was spinning around. I just don't have the courage to tell her straight on…

"Dinner's ready." She put down two plates of omelets in front of me and gestured me to start eating.

"So, what is it?" She said while munching her omelet.

"Ah…"

"Ever the scaredy-cat."

Fine. It's now or never, right? Not that I have something to lose anyway.

"You see…" I said, my cheeks slowly turning into scarlet blush. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For that night."

"Oh. It's me who should be sorry. I'm the one who failed to meet your expectations." She said lightly, though I detected a trace of remorse in her voice.

"N-no!" I suddenly half-screamed, out of my consciousness.

"Hm?" She tilted her head quizzically towards me. "It's true. It was my fault. I think I've sent you my apology letter, right?"

"Y-yes…" Ah! I know! And idea suddenly popped to my mind. "But I haven't forgiven you yet."

"Ah, I can understand that."

What? That's it? There goes my hopes…

"So… anything I can do to make it up to you?" She suddenly said, snapping me out of my trance again.

"…Yes." I sighed. "In fact, you HAVE to do this."

"What?"

"…."

"What is it?"

"…ck."

"Talk louder, will ya?"

"…back."

"Can't hear you." I snapped at her but then realized something. I felt familiar, like a déjà vu. Right, it's the same like when I confessed for the first time… I smiled before continuing.

"Come back to me."

"Huh?" She blushed furiously when she heard it. She blinked a few times in confusion.

"Mio?"

"Yes?"

"Pinch me." I leaned towards her and pinched her arm.

"Ouch." She winced. "It's real."

"Of course, baka Ritsu."

"But… why? Why do you want me back, Mio?" She said, smiling at me. I returned her smile.

"Because I love you."

"Why? After all I've done…"

"Baka." I closed my eyes, tears welling up in the corner of my eyes. "You've done nothing wrong."

She looked at me again. I stared at her amber eyes, wet from the tears too. When she nodded, tears of joy trickled down my cheeks. I hugged her. At that time, I thought I'd never let her go again. I learnt from my mistakes, and nothing could separate us but divine intervention…


A/N: So... I made them together again! PervertDutchman and Musician74, much to your delight! But good stories invite bad stories to follow them up, right? sneak peek. Anyway, see you next chapter! Reviews please!