A/N: Trust me, it is KILLING me to make Jackie a good person in this story. I swear it's worth it, though.

Chapter 3

Walking On A Tightrope, I Am So Afraid To Fall

Aria stared at the open books in front of her on her parents table. If there was one thing she was grateful for in the last few days, it was the fact that A was gone and dead. With everything that had happened to her in the last few days on top of how Ezra was acting, it was too hard for her to even think of someone trying to stalk her.

Spencer sat down at the table next to her and placed a glass of water next to Aria. Aria looked up at her. She dropped her pen on her notebook and sat back against the chair she was in, wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Gotten any work done?" Spencer asked tentatively.

Aria shrugged. "Some. I'm getting nowhere on this paper my mom wants done next week though. I just…" She trailed off, shaking her head.

Spencer furrowed her brow. She pulled one of her legs up onto the chair she was sitting in and tucked her ankle under her knee, resting her arm over the neck of the chair. "What is it?"

"I'm scared," Aria said honestly.

"That's understandable," Spencer replied.

Aria shook her head, running a hand through her hair. "No, not about getting hurt. I'm worried about Ezra. He's been really…distant. Something's wrong with him."

Spencer furrowed her brow. She picked up her glass of water and took a drink from it. "Are you sure? Maybe he just doesn't know how to be since everything that happened with-" Aria shook her head again. "No, Spence. I'm telling you, something is wrong with him."

Spencer opened her mouth to reply, but she looked up a moment later as Ella walked into the kitchen.

"How're you two coming along with your homework?"

Aria looked up at her mom. "It's not. Can't I just…have an extension or something on this paper? I don't know what to write."

Ella tilted her head to the side, pondering the question for a moment. "You can have an extra day. Why don't you just take some time and get out of here for a little while. I'm headed over to Hollis to talk to your father anyway."

"Do you have to go?" Aria asked.

Spencer and Ella exchanged a look. Spencer reached a hand out and touched Aria's arm. "Don't worry. I don't have to be anywhere. I'll stay here with you, or we can go to my place." "Okay…But we can stay here," Aria murmured.

Ella leaned down and placed a kiss on Aria's head. "I'll be back in a little while. I left a twenty on the counter for dinner if you want to order in." "Alright."

-
This place we used to go
Today I went alone
-

Ella knocked lightly on the door in front of her, even though the door was already open. Ezra looked up from the book he was currently flipping through on his desk.

"Ella, hi. Is something wrong?" She looked out into the hall and then turned back to him.

"Um, can I talk to you for a few moments?" Ezra stared at her, doe-eyed for a few moments before he nodded. "Absolutely. Is something wrong with Aria?"

Ella stepped into the room and pulled the door shut behind her. She looked him over. He looked pallor in color and tired. She could see dark circles were trying to form under his eyes, so he clearly wasn't sleeping well.

Ella took a long deep breath and then folded her hands in front of her. She was honestly nervous about having this conversation. She knew that Byron desperately wanted to shrug this entire situation away and not talk about any of it. She knew if Byron could have it his way, there wouldn't be a discussion at all. They would just brush the entire issue under the rug. Then again, Byron wanted to do the same thing with everything Aria was going through, too, because he didn't want to face what had happened.

Ezra walked around his desk and leaned against the front of it. "Please sit." He waved his good hand towards the couch.

Ella shook her head. The nervous energy pacing through her was too much to keep her from moving for more than a few seconds. She took a deep breath and finally started.

"You know we spent a year overseas in Iceland, correct?"

"Right." Ezra nodded. "Aria and I met the day you got back. We told you about that."

"No, I know," Ella agreed. She was tentative to even try and ask him about these things. "But- You know, when we were away, we didn't really know much about what went on here locally. We really didn't look into it that much I guess, either." She paused for a moment, pondering her questions for a moment before she spoke again. "Byron recently saw some papers from last term-" Ezra bit down hard on his tongue. "Did you guys talk to Hardy?"

Ella looked at him with her mouth slightly ajar. She didn't know how to answer his question without worrying that she had upset him. The last thing she wanted to do was make him feel like they were prying into his life. Her face took on a pained look. She didn't want to hurt him.

"The night Aria was hurt, we asked why you were so upset. He wouldn't say anything beyond the papers. Ezra, we-"

Ezra shook his head, pushing off of his desk. "You don't want anything more than to pry into my past is what you and Byron want."

"No," Ella insisted. She waved her hands in a wind-shield wiper motion. "Byron and I wanted to apologize, Ezra."

His brow furrowed in confusion. "Why?"

"For accussing you of all the things we did, when you and Aria came to us. If we had known-"

"Stop!" He said angrily. "There's a reason no one knows about those things. They're in the past. And its feels really disrespectful that you would suddenly decide that the choices we made weren't wrong anymore because you can see that I'm damaged now."

Ella shook her head. "Ezra, that's not at all what I'm saying."

"I really can't deal with this right now," Ezra insisted. He turned around and faced his desk, moving things around just to keep himself focused on anything but what she was bringing up.

"Ezra, please just listen- Oh screw it. I'll talk to your back if I have to." Ella crossed her arms. "You know the reason that I was the first to come to you and tell you that it was alright to see Aria is because I understood how real this is for the two of you. Aria is my oldest child, and my only daughter. I expected this to happen a few years from now. I never expected that she'd find… you, at sixteen."

Ezra turned around to look at her. "Your point?" His voice was raw with pain.

Ella let out a shaky breath. She could see how much this conversation was hurting him, and she hadn't even asked him anything yet about what he'd been through. "When I started accepting that I couldn't change how you and Aria feel about each other, I knew that I had to start accepting that, like it or not, you're a part of this family now. We care when things happen to you." Ezra nodded, clenching his jaw as he leaned back against his desk again. His fingers gripped the edges of it as he stared at the floor.

"It was about a year ago," he said softly. "I was twenty-one, and I was alone on campus for the weekend. And he, ah, broke the hinge on my window. I should've been on the top bunk, but Hardy was gone for the weekend, and I had been studying in the library." He bit his tongue and his brow furrowed. His chest caved as a silent cry moved through him. "When Hardy came back Sunday evening, he thought I'd lost my mind, because I wouldn't say anything. And then he got pissed because he thought I threw a party while he was gone. It took me missing three days of classes and an STI for him to realize what had happened. Not sure he's ever gotten past the way he treated me that week."

Ella had to keep her arms crossed to keep from moving or doing anything. She felt her heart breaking for the younger man standing in front of her, and she desperately wanted to do something, anything to show him that it was okay; that what he was remembering was in the past. But she didn't really feel like she was the right person to do that.

"He came back," Ezra forced past a knot in his throat. "More than once. And he took everything I had. When I met Aria, I had no idea who I was. I never thought there was any chance of things happening the way the did between she and I, because there was so much she didn't know. And, I never understood why those things happened to me the way they did." He finally took a long breath and turned back to face his desk."I do now."

Ella stared at him, confused by his final statement. "What do you mean?"

"It's nothing," Ezra murmured. "Was that all you wanted to know."

Ella narrowed her eyes at him. "No, Ezra. No. You don't get to blame yourself for what happened to Aria. The things that that boy did to her aren't your fault."

"You say that like you understand what we've been through, but you don't." Ezra said.

"Maybe so," Ella replied. She walked over to him and pushed his arm back as she came to stand beside him, trying to make him face her. "But I know that there's not a single thing that you could have done to have stopped what happened that night. Neither could Aria have. There are a lot of people who could take the blame for what happened that night, but the honest truth is that a lot of things fell out of place and she was left to fend for herself. It wasn't fair, and it wasn't right, but it's what ended up happening. That doesn't mean its your fault."

Ezra looked up at her. His jaw was tight. "Then explain to me why…" He shook his head.

Ella frowned. She reached a hand up and cupped his cheek. "Ezra, if I knew the answer to that question, I'd stop my daughter from crying in her sleep, and I'd tell you, too. I honestly don't know why those things happened to the two of you. And I don't want to say the wrong thing, because I think any wrong thing is just going to hurt the both of you right now."

"I probably earned it," Ezra told her. "But Aria never should've been hurt like this."

-
I woke up before the sun
Chased your ghost across the yard
-

Ella pulled the door to Byron's office shut. Her nerves were so completely shot. She couldn't believe so much of their lives had changed so much in the last few days.

Byron looked up at her from his desk. "What's wrong? You look upset."

Ella nodded, rubbing her hands up and down her forearms. "I am. I just came from Ezra's office."

Byron popped up out of his chair. "Is he alright? Aria? Is something-"

Ella extended her hand out and rested it on his shoulder as he came to stand in front of her. "Aria is fine. But I told you before that I was worried about Ezra. I went to talk to him about the things that we read in the papers from last year."

"Ella-"

"Byron, stop." She insisted. "It was true."

"What do you mean true?" Byron asked.

Ella shook her head, looking down at the couch. "He didn't tell me much, but he told me enough to tell me that he definitely knows what Aria is going through right now. I don't even know where to begin with all the things that those two are dealing with, but I'm worried. I'm worried about him, and her separately, and I'm worried about them together. What if they become codependent?"

"We won't let them," Byron told her softly.

Ella shook her head, turning back to face him. "How did we let this man into our lives, and not see any of this? How did we not see his pain? How did we over look all of this when he and Aria came to us? I don't understand, Byron. I really don't understand how we didn't see any of it. I mean, were we really that blind?"

Byron shook his head at Ella. "No. Ezra and Aria are very good at hiding things. That's probably one of the ways they found each other."

-
now again i've found myself
so far down away from the sun again

-

Aria leaned against Ezra, closing her eyes as they laid next to each other in her bed. She knew she was really tempting fate, laying with her back against him, but he was the safest place she knew, whether he was being distant or not. She held his cast-wrapped hand against her body as she laid there with her eyes closed.

"How was your day?" She asked.

Ezra brushed his fingers through her hair, watching her while she rested. It broke his heart to see her resting so peacefully. He hated knowing that she was hurting.

"It was alright," he replied. "Nothing too special about it. How was yours?" Aria rolled her shoulders. She moved her thumb in circles against his hand. "It wasn't anything special either. My parents aren't sending me back to school until next week, so I was kind of lazy on homework. Just…kind of sat around." Ezra leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "You doing okay otherwise?" Aria shrugged again. "I guess. I'm just tired, mostly."

"Go to sleep," Ezra told her softly. "I'll be here as long as you need me to be."

Aria shifted slightly against him, nuzzling her face into the side of his arm as she still held it against her. Ezra just continued to brush his fingers lightly through her hair.

He tensed lightly when Ella came to lean against the doorframe. It made him nervous to not know why she was standing there. Was she going to ask him about earlier? He wasn't sure he was ready to tell Aria about those things…

"Everything alright in here?" "Mmm," Aria murmured. "It's all peachy."

Both Ella and Ezra could hear the sarcasm that Aria was trying to hide in her voice, but Ezra didn't seem to mind it. He knew he'd been distant the last few days with everything gong on. Part of it was because he honestly didn't know how to approach how this affected he and Aria. He didn't want to hurt her.

"Ezra, are you staying?" Aria tightened her grip on his arm. The corners of his mouth tugged up into a tight smile. "For now."

Ella nodded. "If you wouldn't mind, Byron and I would like to speak with you before you go." Aria opened her eyes. "What'd he do now?"

Ella shook her head. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong." Ella looked Ezra clear in the eyes. "Just a few questions about the end of the year mixer."

Ezra lifted his hand up and and looked at the time on his watch. "Why don't we just do this now then. I've got finals that I haven't even started pulling together."He started to push himself up off the bed, but Aria pulled on his broken wrist.

"Wait. Are you coming back?"

Ezra looked up at her as he moved to step off the bed. "Maybe. I don't know. I'll come say goodbye though."

He kissed her forehead and then pulled his hand free from her grip and walked towards the door. He grabbed his jacket from Aria's desk chair and followed Ella out of the room, down the stairs into the sitting room.

Byron walked out of the kitchen, carrying a glass that appeared to have scotch in it. "Ezra."

Ezra nodded to Byron. "What's up?"

"We're…" Ella looked to Byron.

"Worried," Byron said.

Ezra took a frustrated breath, rolling his neck as he pressed his tongue into his cheek. "My life isn't open enough to you already? It's not enough to know every move Aria and I make on top of the things you-"

"Ezra." He hated it when Ella talked like that. She had the ability to make him feel like he was child caught with his hand in the cookie jar before dinner.

"What?"

His steely-eyed glare certainly could compete with hers as they stared each other down.

"Hey," Byron interjected. "Nobody wants to start an argument right now. And just so we're clear, I was the one who looked into what happened last year. We were worried after how you reacted the night Aria-"

"Your daughter was raped," Ezra said bluntly as he turned to look at Byron.

Byron took a step back, as if the harshness of Ezra's words were coming as fresh news to him. He and Ella looked back and forth between Ezra and each other.

"I'm sorry," Ezra said critically. "You're living in a world where things are just supposed to pick up and get better, and that's living in a dream world. Someone has just ripped the rug out from under Aria without so much as a reason why. You're lucky your daughter is even on speaking terms with anyone at the moment. It's a hell of a lot better than where I was when…" His voice trailed off and he shook his head.

"Ezra-"

"No," he argued. "Why do are you two so insistent on knowing every little thing?"

"Stop!" Ella bellowed. "Take a deep breath and get a handle on yourself," she insisted.

Ezra shook his head at her. "I'm done with this. You can tell Aria I'll see her tomorrow." He turned on his heel and walked out of the house, pulling the door shut behind him as he stepped outside, with a slam.

A few moments later, Aria raced down the steps and leaned over the banister. "Where's Ezra?"

Ella looked up at her from where she stood in the sitting room. "He left, sweetie."

Aria sighed and settled down on to the steps. She chewed lightly on her bottom lip as she wrapped her arms around her legs.

Ella walked over to the steps and walked up them until she was standing at eye-level with Aria.

"What's wrong with him, mom?" Aria asked softly. "I mean, is it me? Am I too screwed up for him now? Does he not love me anymore?"

Ella swallowed a hard knot in her throat. She gave Aria a small smile and sat down next to her. She wrapped her arm around her daughter. "I'm very sure that that is absolutely not the reason why Ezra his reacting the way he is."

Aria turned her head to look at Ella. "Then what, mom? Because I don't understand why he's… I don't know. He won't talk to me anymore, not really. Its like every time we get close to finally being honest about what's going on, he puts a wall up. And lately it seems like he's always just about to say something, and then he changes his mind? I mean, am I that damaged that he can't be honest with me anymore? He used to tell me everything."

Ella wrapped her arm around Aria. Aria rested her head on Ella's shoulder.

"I think whatever it is that Ezra is going through, he'll come to you when he's ready. But I'm absolutely positive that it has nothing to do with you or anything you've done, sweetie. Just give it time. You're both in very tough places right now."

-
Just close your eyes and let me lead
Follow me home to where the lonely ones roam
-

Ezra tossed his keys onto the coffee table in his apartment as he pulled on the buttons of his vest. He nearly jumped at the sight of someone sitting on his couch.

"What the fuck?"

Jackie turned around and looked up at him. "I've been waiting hours for you."

Ezra shook his head, narrowing his eyes at her. "What are you doing in my apartment, Jackie?"

She pushed up from her spot on his couch and handed him a cup of coffee. "I was returning a key and some other things. I was cleaning out boxes."

Ezra shook his head at her. "How do you have a key to my apartment?"

Jackie sighed. "I don't. I tried to get your best friend to give you back this stuff, but he threw his key at me and told me to do it myself." She reached into her pocket and pulled out a key ring. One key hung from it.

Ezra reached out to grab it, but at the last second, Jackie pulled her arm back. Ezra huffed and clenched his aw. "What do you want, Jackie?"

She dropped her hand, keeping it fisted around the key. "Why are you so pissed at Hardy? You've never treated him like you have been lately." "People stop being friends," Ezra chided. "Shit happens. Why the hell does it matter?" "Because!" Jackie argued. "You're a lot of things, Ezra, but you've NEVER been the kind of person who would be cold to your friends. I know you better than to think that you would suddenly decide to make your best friend hate you without some reason why." "You don't know me at all, Jackie." He simpered. "Hell, you were the one who tried to take all the good things in my life away from me!"

Jackie shook her head at him. "I admit that there were things I did a few months ago that were wrong, but that doesn't change what's going on now. Have you ever really even faced-"

"My life isn't any of your business," Ezra said.

"Ezra! You know that telling me things like that isn't going to make me go away."

He laughed cynically and turned towards his kitchen. He walked over to it and settled the cup of coffee on the counter. "Why the hell can't you ever just leave me alone?"

Jackie crossed her right arm across her body and took a drink from her own cup of coffee that she'd bought with her. "You know, you're really not getting across what you want to. You wanna try screaming at me again?"

Ezra glared up at her. Jackie shuddered as he slapped his hand across the counter. A glass went flying off of it and continued shooting through the air until it hit the opposite wall and shattered. It fell to the floor in pieces.

"Are you gone yet," he growled. "Cause you're really starting to piss me off."

Jackie glared back at him. "Bullshit, Ezra. You're already pissed. And I get that it has something to do with last year, but I don't understand why."

He laughed again, waving his hands in the air as he pushed stuff around on his counter. "Why can't you people just stay out of my life?"

"Who is you people?" Jackie asked.

Ezra groaned and thrust his broken wrist in the direction of the door. "Get. Out."

"Professor Montgomery knows?" Jackie asked. "Is that it? Does Aria know too?"

Ezra dug his fingers into his hair, digging his nails into his scalp. The anger alone from how he was feeling was building up too much for him to even know what to do with himself. He hated feeling that way. The last time he had felt this angry, he'd punched a wall. The time before that, he'd put scars on his wrists.

He turned around and sunk down onto the floor, forcing deep breaths in and out in attempt to get a handle on his anger.

Jackie walked over to him, her boots click-clacking on the floor as she walked around the counter. She knelt down a few feet away from him.

"Ezra, no one wants to hurt you. We're all worried about you. Even Hardy."

Ezra shook his head. His diaphragm spasmed twice as tears glistened in his eyes. He rested his head back against the cabinet behind him as he pulled on the tape keeping his broken knuckles straight. He looked over at her.

"Aria doesn't know anything. At least, as far as anything I've said." He looked over at her as tears started to fall down his face. "I don't know if her parents have said anything to her. Her dad went through the papers from last year, and figured it out. Or, her mom figured it out- I don't know. I don't understand why all of this happened. What did I do?"

Jackie frowned. She moved towards him and wrapped an arm around him, resting her other arm on his forearm.

"You didn't do anything, Ezra. Sometimes things happen to people that shouldn't."

He looked her in the eyes. "Nothing has ever happened in my life before that I didn't deserve." "Bull," Jackie argued. She rested her hand on the base of his neck, making him look at her. "You didn't make your mom get cancer when you were fifteen. You didn't make your brother decide to skip out on med school. You didn't-" "Alright," Ezra said. He strained to speak past the knot in his throat. "I get it." "Maybe so," she agreed. "But getting it is different than accepting it. What brought all of his back up again, anyway? I mean I knew you never really dealt with it, but generally when you stuff these things down, they don't just come back up on their own."

"And what do you know about it?" Jackie laughed. "Really, Ezra? I teach psychology. I know these things."

"Really?" He laughed. "I thought you taught it because it was an easy subject. No proper answer and all." "Hey! Jackie chuckled. Her smile dropped a moment later. "Seriously, though. What's got all of this started up again? If I know anything about you, its that you are a mastermind at shoving things around in your life when you don't want to deal with them."

Ezra shook his head, looking at her. "It's not my place…"

"Ezra," Jackie said his name softly, trying to coax him to tell her. "Something is tearing you apart. I can see it."

Ezra rested his arms on his knees and dropped his chin over them. "Aria was raped last week."

Jackie gaped at him. "What?"

Ezra looked over at her. "I shouldn't even be telling you this. Its not my information to share."

"Have you told Aria about anything that happened last year?"

Ezra shook his head. "I never told her about any of that. There were already so many issues when we met each other. I always thought I would, when the time seemed right. Funny how the time never falls into place before things happen."

He looked over at Jackie. "You realize this is my fault, right? What happened to her is my fault. If I hadn't-" "No!" Jackie insisted. "It is not your fault. You couldn't have prevented what happened to her."

"I should've been able to though," Ezra strained.

Jackie shook her head, rubbing her hand down the back of his head. "Ezra, you can't think like that. You couldn't have known that was going to happen." Ezra closed his eyes and shook his head, wrapping both of his hands around his head as he laid his head against his knees. Jackie couldn't stop the tears that fell from her own eyes as he began to cry hard and his sobs became audible.

-
If I'm home, I'll be alone
If I'm home, I'll be alone
-

Ezra pushed the door to his office open, taking a long drink from his piping hot coffee as he did. He looked like absolute shit. He had circles under his eyes, he hadn't spent much time on his hair, and his clothes were less than stellar. There were wrinkles in his shirt. He'd opted for jeans instead of dress pants. He just looked rugged all around.

He walked over to his desk and settled his back next to it, placing the coffee down on the desk. He sunk down into his chair and draped his arms out in front of him before resting his head down on the desk. He was fucking exhausted.

He'd barely slept the night before. It seemed like every time he got to sleep, he was waking up screaming and sweating. If he wasn't dreaming about the past, he was dreaming about things that could happen in the future. If it wasn't that, he was dreaming about Aria being raped. No matter what he did, he couldn't escape it.

Even as he closed his eyes, the visions of what he had dreamt about the night before plagued his mind. There was just no getting around it.

A knock on his door forced him to look up. It was Byron.

"What's up?" He asked wearily. He rubbed a hand over his face and realized that he hadn't shaved that morning. He had stubble growing. Ezra picked up his cup of coffee and took a drink from it. It was still piping hot.

"I was just coming by to see if you were okay, but I can gather that answer for myself. What are you doing here? You look like you haven't slept in days." Ezra settled his coffee back on his desk and pressed his lips together. "Sleep implies the body wanting to shut down and rest, which mine does not."

"Maybe you should take the day," Byron told him. "You look like hell."

"I have students," Ezra said.

Byron shook his head. "Leave your lesson plan. I'll make sure they get it." Ezra shook his head. "So what, I can go home and not sleep some more?"

Byron stared sadly at the younger man. He honestly didn't know what to do for him. He cared about Ezra like a second son, but he truly didn't know what to say to help him. He didn't even know what to do to help Aria.

"Lets just go," he said after a minute. "Get off campus, we can go anywhere. You need a day away."

Ezra stared at him skeptically for a moment. If he wanted to say no, the yawn that pushed its way through his chest and out of his mouth defied him. Once he'd let it out, he finally nodded. "Okay."

He pushed up from his desk and grabbed his bag. He scribbled a note out and then placed a piece of tape on the top of the sheet before grabbing his coffee. He hit the lights on the way to the door and then followed Byron out of the room. As he pushed the door shut, he pressed the tape against the window of the door, alerting his students he wasn't in.

He followed Byron out of the building, opting to follow the older man to his car. He wasn't really in the position to be driving anyway. His eyes were barely focusing straight as it was.

Ezra tossed his bag into the backseat of the car and then pulled on his shoulder belt before leaning back against the seat.

Byron started the car and pulled out of the parking lot a few moments later. He flipped through the radio stations until he found something that they both could agree on before simply just giving his attention over to the open road. He had no spot set in mind, and no plan of action. Whether Ezra talked, or didn't talk at all, it was about getting away from everything.

After about twenty or so minutes, he looked over to ask if Ezra minded stopping by the Montgomery home for a few moments. He closed his mouth before the words even came out. Ezra was fast asleep in the seat next to him.