Based on a tumblr prompt: "Your writing is so cute~ Could I get a more serious one - Kuroo/Oikawa and s/o with anxiety or depression? It would mean a lot."
Oh, I'm so sorry my dear, if it ever gets too rough I'll always be here to talk ;-;
Just for you, I'll do both boys and both prompts, hope you feel better soon~
Kuroo + anxiety is first, I will post the Oikawa one when I have time.
Disclaimer - I have no experience with either condition, I apologize if the portrayal is off.
If you meant something different with your prompt, please message again and I'll write it again. ^^ Stay strong!
I'll never be good enough never be good enough nevergoodenough-
Your breathing grew shallower and shallower as you balled your hands into fists, nails digging in hard enough to make tiny red crescents on your palm. You barely registered the pain - the first time it had happened you'd flinched and stopped but now the scars were so numerous it didn't matter to you anymore.
Make it stop make it stop stop stop
You let out a pained gasp at the sharp stab of anguish in your stomach, and as the anxiety engulfed your entire being. You curled in on yourself, covering your ears tightly with your hands, even so knowing it was useless. You couldn't block out the voices that overlapped in a ceaseless jumble in your brain.
Tears began to pool in your eyes, but you held them back stubbornly. Even in this state you were determined to be strong.
The clicking of a key in the lock made your head snap up with a jerk - your breathing began to spiral out of control again as you watched the door with wide trembling eyes.
What if it's my parents I can't deal with that right now what if it's Kenma - Oh god, what if it's him he can't see me like this I have to-
But it was too late to do anything, the door had already swung open to reveal the person you wanted to see least (and most) at this moment, with a look of shock on his face.
You must have been quite a sight - dressed in a too-big Nekoma jersey (it was his, you realized), hair messy and tears in your eyes, curled up into as small a ball as possible. You hid your face, shaking, hoping he would just take the hint and leave.
But Kuroo had always known what you wanted better than you, and so on some level it wasn't really surprising when you felt a warm weight settle down next to you on the couch.
"Hey," he murmured, voice soft and concerned. He wrapped a strong arm around your quaking shoulders. "What's wrong?"
You shook your head weakly and refused to lift your head. But you did lean into his warmth slightly, and he noticed - silently, he waited until you felt like you were ready to speak.
"I have anxiety," you finally spoke up, in a small and tremulous voice, so quietly he almost missed it. "I get these attacks sometimes - the voices, they won't shut up, I- sometimes it gets so bad that -" You paused to swallow, before finishing hoarsely, "I want to end it all."
He didn't reply for a long while, and you felt the fear rising in your chest again. What if he was angry? Thought you were a freak? Hated you, even? Wanted nothing more to do with you?
"Why didn't you tell me?" He whispered, voice breaking a little. You dared to glance up at his face, and the sadness in his shining golden eyes was overwhelming. It made you want to cry again.
"I'm sorry," you replied, leaning into his side. "I thought you would - I was afraid. Afraid you would hate me. Leave me. I just - didn't want to lose you."
Wordlessly, he shifted to face you and took you in his arms, crushing you to his chest. You breathed in his scent and buried your face in his neck, feeling his warmth surround you.
Suddenly, he picked you up bridal style, surprising you. You let out a squeak, but he continued - bringing you up the stairs and into your bedroom. He laid you gently on the mattress and climbed in after you, wrapping his arms around you again.
"T-Tetsurou?" You breathed out, reaching up to touch his arm. He grabbed both your hands in his, and clasped them tightly between the two of you.
"You don't have to be afraid of anything anymore. I'll protect you. From anything. And anytime you feel like this again - call me. Text me. I don't care when or where you are. I'll come to you, and I'll hold you until you feel like you can breathe again."
The determination, honesty, and affection in his strong voice shot straight to your heart and held it, before spiraling out all through your body with tendrils of warmth. Choking back a sob, you nodded and reached forward to embrace him.
"I love you."
Haha, Kuroo is super popular (not that I'm complaining, he's ultimate husbando)
Did you enjoy it? Please feel free to review or send in a request!
