Title: Vertigo (3/13)

Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter or any part of the universe. All characters depicted in sexual situations are of legal age.

Warnings: Please refer to part 1 for full list of warnings. For this chapter, there are mentions of sexual fantasies and wanking. If that makes you uncomfortable, don't read.

A/N: These chapters are a lot shorter than my usual writing style. The reason for this is because the way this story is structured it shows 13 glimpses into Snape's life, particularly the events between HBP and the death of Voldemort. Since the chapters are shorter, I'll make sure to update a lot faster. I would still appreciate any and all feedback though.


. 3 .

The second time it happens is in my dreams. That first shy kiss replays in my mind repeatedly. I don't know how many nights I lie in bed, thinking about why Draco might have kissed me, or how I actually enjoyed it. He's just a boy, a rather attractive boy, but an under-aged student nonetheless. Shame overwhelms me, fills my gut, and almost causes me to regurgitate my dinner. It's unbearable.

There are so many other things to worry about; Albus is getting weaker by the day, and I'm no closer to finding a cure. The Dark Lord will be expecting a report on my progress at Hogwarts and any news I may have uncovered from the Order. I have nothing substantial to report. He will be far from pleased. Yet, all I can think about is that blasted boy, those chapped lips, and how amazing they'd feel around my cock.

What kind of sick pervert am I?

Before that stupid kiss, I haven't had a hard on in months, years even, and now I find myself wanking to images of my former favourite student every night, watching him kneel down on both knees and suck my cock dry. Even my dreams are no longer safe. They are plagued with inappropriate fantasies of Draco showing up in my office late at night, wearing nothing but an open school robe, that pale hair pulled back from his face—or worse yet, Albus and the entire school finding out exactly how much of a repulsive, sadistic bastard I am. Many nights, I wake up in a cold sweat and have to resort to taking a dose of Dreamless Sleep to get any rest at all.

The brat is slowly driving me mad. I always knew my students would one day force me into the realm of insanity. I just didn't know it would be this soon, and I always assumed it would be a Gryffindor, not one of my own Slytherins. Even the other members of my own house are getting on my nerves. They used to respect me, respect the common area, but lately the entire house is out of control.

Every time I enter the common room, instead of receiving me with the quiet reverence I deserve, they ignore me unless I speak, and continue with their abhorrent gossip as if I'm not even there. The only student who exits hastily every time I enter is Draco. Clearly, Narcissa and Lucius have failed to teach him any manners.

It appears that I'm not the only one who has noticed how much young Draco has matured this year. As much as I try to avoid it, I've heard the gossip. I know that Draco can have any girl in Slytherin he desires and perhaps some of the Ravenclaws too. As for the boys, well, Zabini is always eyeing him more than a little appreciatively when he thinks that no one else is watching. And Zabini may not be my type, but I assume Draco finds him far more attractive than his greasy haired professor. When I start to feel irrationally and inappropriately jealous of other teenage boys, I know that my descent into madness is undeniable.

We've never discussed that night again. Draco continues to keep his distance; he started handing in all his assignments on time or earlier and avoids me outside of the classroom. He sits in the back of the room, partners with Parkinson, and keeps his head down. There are so many times I've wanted to stop him, force him to speak with me. But what would I say? Why did you kiss me? Was it joke? It sounds so juvenile and petty.

Even if it was a joke or a defence mechanism, how can I punish him? I certainly won't bring up the incident to Albus or Minerva. Clearly, Draco realises he has me trapped, which is probably why the brat did it in the first place. I'm on my own. I have to brush it off as one of those inexplicable incidents that meant nothing. He may have the weight of his parents' lives on his shoulders, but he is still a teenage boy; a teenage boy filled with hormones.

Teenage boys will fuck anything and everything. A simple kiss to his old, stingy professor is meaningless. It hasn't affected him in the least. He's probably never thought of it again. For Salazar's sake, he's a boy, not a perverted old codger who gets a hard on from the idea of his underage student snogging him.

Holy hell, I'm a monster, a monster who has far more important concerns to attend to.

TBC...


A/N: Thanks so much for reading! An other update will be posted tomorrow. As I've mentioned before, this story is complete and will be posted in 13 parts.

Reviews make me smile.

~Icicle