Chapter 2: Minerva's Insistence
Three days and several letters later, I have the liberty of informing St. Mungo's that I'm taking four years worth vacation. I'm also nervously pacing in my private chambers, attempting to convince myself not to back out.
After hearing my story, Minerva had not only asked Severus to teach me occlumency (to which he reluctantly agreed-emphasis on reluctantly), but had also insisted that I come stay at Hogwarts 'for my own protection'. I had reluctantly compromised. Emphasis, again, on reluctantly.
Instead of staying at Hogwarts, which I straight out refused, I agreed to temporarily move closer. I rented a small cottage on the edge of eastern Hogsmeade, making it easier to get to the occlumency lessons, but sending me far enough away that I could take a break from work for a while. I'm to meet Minerva at Hogwarts gate at three this afternoon.
At five till three I shrink my belongings, shove them into the pocket on my cloak, and apparate just a few feet away from the gate. A few minutes later, my breath catches in my chest as my gaze falls upon the man of whom I'm rather painfully reminded that I never completely got over.
I force myself to start breathing again and struggle to keep my expression pleasant.
"I'm assuming you are Madame Tara Doe?" he demands immediately.
"Yes, but I prefer to be called Tara. Where is Professor McGonagall?" I ask, suspecting a set up.
"She thought it would be better for me to come fetch you, as I'm the one who will be teaching you occlumency. That and she'd rather not have to walk to the gate when she has such a brilliant excuse for making me do it."
"You must be Professor Severus Snape?" I question, though I already know the answer.
"Yes. She said you'd recognize me. I'm assuming we've met before?" he replies, letting me through the gate and shutting it firmly behind me, magically locking it.
"I worked here for a year or so as Madame Pomfrey's assistant, and I fought in the final battle here at Hogwarts." I answer simply, as we start for the castle. "What else has she told you?"
"That you have something to inform me of in regards to my past. She also implied that she'd rather I not be forward about it." He replies honestly.
"Well then, lets go ask her what exactly it is that I'm supposed to be informing you of, because I haven't got a clue." I lie.
"Either that's a poor attempt at sarcasm or you truly are a terrible occlumens." He smirks, seeing right through me.
We spend the remainder of the walk in silence.
"Are you utterly mad? I'm not going to tell him that!" I object angrily as Minerva suggests I tell Severus about the past we'd shared.
Severus had left after setting up a time for the first lesson- day after tomorrow at six in the evening. It would grant me enough time to settle into my cottage and take a days worth of vacation before starting what promises to be a long, nerve-racking class.
"And why not? He has the right to know, Tara!" Minerva insists.
"It's been four years, Minerva. It's better to just let it alone." I counter.
"So you plan to just leave him here? After being such a big part of his life?" She demands.
"Obviously not big enough to be worth remembering." I snap in return.
"He loved you, Tara!" She argues, "And if he knew who you were, he'd still love you! What happens if he finds out that we've been keeping it from him? It's just as bad as lying to him, if not worse!"
"He won't find out, I assure you." I insist. "I have no intention of hurting him or myself by being delusional enough to think we could get back to where we left off. You yourself said he was even reluctant to agree to teach me occlumency. What makes you think he'd want anything else to do with me?"
"He doesn't know you!" She counters, standing up for him.
"That's my point." I agree, "You can't be the fiancé of someone you don't know."
