"Hawke? Hawke, are you alright?" The voice calling his name was muffled and his blurred vision could only make out certain details of yellow, combed-back hair with the masculine voice of concern.

"...Cullen?" was his first assumption as he tried to sit up in the bed and held his throbbing forehead.

"Cullen?" A frown was made with a shaking head as a hand reached out to touch the dewy, brown face. "You're still burning up. No wonder you're confused. Those shackles really did a number on you. Don't move around so much, Seren. You're still very weak." There was a scoff as Hawke recognized the overbearing tone.

"Anders," he confirmed his suspicions as his hand was taken carefully and guided to a cool, fuzzy cheek.

"Hello, love."

"I told you I would take care of the Wardens," he whispered in obvious disapproval. "You shouldn't have come for me. Whatever deal you made with them, don't trust it. Leave. Now."

"Deal? Hawke, we sacked the fortress. Weisshaupt has been reclaimed by the Hero of Ferelden. We're in Skyhold now."

"Skyhold? But what about the Breach?"

"It's been closed by the Inquisitor…who we also need to have a lengthy discussion about. Namely, in regards to how many illegitimate children you have had in the past twenty years. Don't worry though, he's perfectly fine. Takes a lot after you... "

"I suspect that's an insult," was laughed as he blinked a few times attempting to clear the haze. "How long did the Wardens hold me for and how in the Maker's name did I end up back here?" Arms came around to comfort his upper body as Anders settled next to him.

"I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but you have to get better first. Just know that everything has been taken care of and we're together again."

"Don't chastise me. You sound like a bloody lust demon." Though he did lean over a bit more for the affection. Looking down, he rotated his wrists to examine the burn marks clearly remembering when those chains were clamped there and the pain they caused. "Those weren't normal irons, were they? I could feel…death upon me."

"Ah," Anders frowned as he stroked Hawke's long, white hair resting upon his shoulder. "The Tevinter with your son said they were from the Venatori, used to restrain mages in their country by engraving runic seals in the metal. The key was a rune itself, changing the phrasing from 'lock' to 'release'. A more humane approach than turning mages tranquil, I suppose, though it was still...difficult to see you in such a state. I hardly recognized you with black hair and bluish-grey eyes."

"The colors changed when my magic was sealed? Suppose that makes sense. It changed when my magic activated, though the reverse seems…strange."

"And your son has the same affliction, but your sister didn't?" There was a nod to the question.

"Yes, my father told me it is because we are weaker than the women or maybe it's less abrupt for them? The force of my family's magic hit me, at least, all at once. It was a very painful change. Far worse than my voice dropping a few octaves or those awkward, uncontrollable erections."

"You still get those." A precocious hand was placed on a nearby thigh while leaning in for a kiss, but Anders found himself avoided and alone as the other mage stood. Wearing only a thin pair of light-brown cloth pants, Hawke shook his head with hands on his hips.

"Anders," he began to say as his eyes focused on the floor. "We're still not okay."

"But everything is over with! The false Calling and the Breach, even the zealous Wardens and Red Templars. We made it…"

"You trying to kill me after we got to Ferelden had nothing to do with any of those things! Those Templars we saw on the road were just recruits. They were kids, Anders. They had nothing to do with the war just like the mages I defended with you in Kirkwall. Maybe it was the false Calling that made you snap when I refused to hurt them or maybe it was because of the rifts. I-I don't know, but the scar remains. If not for Justice, I wouldn't even be here and even before that…" Anders fell silent as he looked down.

"You're right. There was so much...madness. Madness I created. I lost myself and lost focus on what I was trying to accomplish, but look at the end result! We're free! Free from the circles and the Templars!" He stood to take Hawke by the hands. "We're free to finally love each other the way we always wanted to..."

"I always loved you the way I wanted to," Seren sadly smiled. "But you never loved me back. Not in the same way. You were holding out for all of this to come together and I honestly don't blame you. I blame myself. I never clearly said how I felt and didn't make it so you could love me safely in return. It wasn't the world that scared you, it was me."

"...So, let's start over," Anders urged, keeping a grip. "Let's start from the beginning."

"We can't." A few tears leaked from Hawke's eyes as he loosened his fingers to slip away. "Because there will always these ghosts between us." He took a deep breath as he tried to collect the rest of his words caught in his chest and throat. "I slept with someone while Justice controlled your body. I shouldn't have, but I did and it wasn't the first time we had been intimate. We were..something...briefly while in Kirkwall before you and I were..." The blond's eyes grew wide as he turned away, visibly shaking as he sat down once again.

"So, you did manage find Fenris after all?"

"No, not Fenris nor Isabela if you are speculating that. It was...the former Knight-Captain." Anders nearly choked.

"Cu...Cullen?! You slept with Cullen? Wait, but in Kirkwall? But he was a Templar! How could you…? Why didn't you ever tell me?!"

"I said it was brief," Hawke tried to explain. "We were close friends before the red lyrium's effect began to seep and I didn't tell you because…" His voice trailed off as he crossed his arms. "Frankly, I didn't want you to use it against him. I thought it didn't matter, at first, then you began lying to me about what you were doing with the mages. Cullen was and is a good man. Like my brother, he had little choice but to go along with Meredith's crazy." An accusing finger poked at his chest when Anders stood once again.

"He used you just like every other Templar uses mages and would have turned you in the very moment you stopped spreading your legs for him! I can't believe…!"

"For Andraste's sake, I turned myself in and he refused to follow through with it!"

"...What? What do you mean you turned yourself in? To the Templars? When…? Why?" Hawke looked away, closing his eyes since he honestly didn't want to talk about it.

"...After Fenris left and mother was killed, I got very, very, very drunk and turned myself over to him so I could be locked away. I thought I was just like every other mage out there. One slip and I would kill someone innocent just as my mother's murderer did. He cleaned me up, nursed me back to health, and refused to turn me over to the Order because he cared for me. We couldn't be together because of how things were. He was a Templar, a Knight-Captain even, and I was an apostate. No amount of special treatment or accolades would change that in the eyes of Chantry law. It's why I became more sympathetic to your cause, honestly. I never thought of you as a replacement though. Not for Fenris or for Cullen. I grew to love you as one naturally would. Your passion, your kindness, your hope. I never thought change would come in my lifetime. You were the only one in my heart."

"...And now I'm not," was said bitterly and was reluctantly shrugged at.

"Things between began to end the day you lied to me about your so-called potion for Justice. When you thought I could be manipulated and not piece together what those ingredients could do. When I realized that I wasn't trustworthy enough to be told the truth. When I had to be threatened before I was willing to help you. When I began to follow you night after night you snuck out of our bed to pay off whatever bribe you agreed to for whatever information you thought you needed to further your cause. When I grew numb and played ignorant because I just wanted you to stay. In Kirkwall, I loved you. I loved you more than you ever believed I did. I loved you still even after every lie, every misdirection, and every betrayal. No matter how one-sided I knew it was, I remained loyal and exclusively yours. I'm not leaving you for anyone, Anders. That will be blaming someone else for our mistakes."

"But you are leaving." Moving to sit down, Hawke slumped his shoulders.

"I...I don't know. Honestly, I never thought I'd live long enough to have this conversation. At first, I thought I'd be killed in Adamant, then surely when I turned myself over to the Wardens in exchange for your freedom. All I wanted was for you to be happy."

"You thought killing yourself would make me happy?"

"No more than you did when you sat on a crate and expected me to end your life for what you had done," Hawke nudged. "It didn't escape me that you destroyed the place where Karl died, you know. Or that you expected me to put you out of your misery as you did for him. Everyone else may have thought it was to get strike a blow with the Chantry, but it wasn't. Not really. I also knew that even if the war did end the way you wanted it to, you'd still be obligated to the Grey Wardens. I wanted to give you your true freedom. Something you deserve."

"You...deserve to be happy too and I never thought of you as a replacement for Karl either, Seren."

"That's because no one could ever take his place." Small smiles were exchanged as their eyes locked and searched for something beyond simple sentiment, but there just wasn't enough to light a new spark. A knock on the door broke their silent acceptance and Hawke stood as it opened. Cullen froze upon his arrival at the scene. His lips were parted as he had something he wanted to say, but the sight of Anders refrained him from doing so.

"Apologies, I didn't know… I'll return later."

"No need," Anders sighed as he stood as well. "I was just leaving. I saw a tavern in the courtyard and I am in dire need of a drink...or twenty. I will…see myself out." He gave a small nod to the commander as he quickly left, who watched his every step. As the door closed, a final glance into the room showed Cullen dropping the change of clothes he had brought up as he rushed to smother Hawke in a desperate hug.

"I thought I'd never see you again," he whispered as he refused to let go until his red fur-lining was gripped and tugged. "I'm…I'm sorry," he then stammered with tears and a red face. "I shouldn't… With Anders here, I know that you'll be…"

"I told him," Hawke interrupted. "Not every detail, but I told him what happened between us." There was a look of shock.

"You...didn't have to do that. I would have understood if you wanted it to remain a secret."

"No," Hawke's head lowered. "Anders and I have a history of not being honest with one another. It needed to stop. I told him about what happened in Kirkwall as well. He has the right to know. I lied to you as well though, about this scar." Dry lips pressed together as brown eyes softened.

"I figured as much, but I do not blame you. You were protecting someone you cared for, even if you are a terrible liar. I also know you went to Weisshaupt to die and it wasn't my place to stop you. I haven't earned that privilege yet, but I'm not going to pretend not to be overwhelming grateful that you're still live. The Maker has answered my prayers and I will not waste His gift." He took a hand, covering the top of it with his other as he leaned in. "I love you. Every part of me loves you. It's about time I stopped letting fear come between us."

"...But I have nothing for you though. No gold, no home, no title, and no room for any more promises. There's nothing for you to take advantage of nor anywhere my name will bring influence in your favor. I would be your complete and utter burden. The deadweight around your neck."

"…At least you have your wedding vows ready."

"I'm being serious, Rutherford!"

"So am I," he snickered. "And you didn't really have any of those when we first met either doing odd jobs for a dwarf at the chance to go treasure hunting. With Varric here in Skyhold, I have a feeling not much will change."

"And yet you're still a man of means. Being the Commander of the Inquisition isn't something to take lightly."

"And if the day comes that being so stands between us, I will happily remove the title from my ridiculously long name." Hawke's nose crinkled as he tried his best not to smile at the joke. He ultimately ended up failing and snorted while making a perverse replacement of the ex-Templar's middle name to 'Stallion' which ended in a passionate kiss. In the tavern, the distraught healer pulled up a barstool next to a large Qunari with an eyepatch.

"You look in need of a drink if I've ever seen it," the brute said.

"You look in need of a shirt," Anders grumbled, but did not refuse the mug of ale slid his way.

"They just get in the way!" his new drinking comrade laughed heartily. "First covered in blood, full of holes from the stabbing, then all tangled up from a victory fuck. Awful!"

"You don't say?" huffed the mage as he realized he was either being poorly courted or attempted to be cheered up. After a short sip, he put the cup down with a sigh. "And even now, Justice won't let me get drunk."

"Justice?"

"Oh, right. I'm Anders, starter of the Mage/Templar War, destroyer of chantries, and possessed by a spirit of justice from the Fade. Thank you for the drink, but I'm sure at least one of those things isn't the kind of baggage you're looking for right now."

"Oh, you mean like Cole? He's a spirit of compassion or something like that. Weird shit doesn't bother me. Good on you for sticking to your convictions though. You wanted mage freedom, you set out to do it, and you even lived to see it happen. That's...impressive, actually. Damn impressive. Then again, it also helps that you're cute. Cute's always a plus." Anders' face flushed. It had been some time since he had been called that.

"Maybe Justice will allow me to get drunk, just this once." With a smile, he raised his mug in toast to have it clanked.

"The Iron Bull, but the way. That's what they call me."

"Is that a promise or a threat?"

"On a good day? Both."