The Big One
There have been many arguments between Ron and I over the years, I'm not doubting that. Over so many things that I can't hardly remember them all. Only a few stick out in my memory, most of which I try to forget because we are so happy now. Since being married two months ago, we've been getting so great, and it's amazing because really, he is just adorable and I love him more than I can say. My only regret is we didn't get together sooner, but then I think part of why we are so good now is because we had that time to mature and work through our feelings for each other. But over these past two months, we have not argued once. Not one little fight. When you compare that to our years of bickering at school, it's quite unbelievable. Harry seems to find it one big joke and says that we exhausted ourselves at school and have nothing left to argue about. We had never really discussed the fact that we never disagree on anything, just laugh off people's comments and continue on with our happily married life.
After helping me find my parents and restore their memories, we were recently around at their house for dinner. Ron was in the kitchen 'bonding' with my Dad over doing the dishes, and Mum and I were talking in the lounge when the subject of arguments came up.
"So, have you had the big one yet?" She asked and when I look confused she went on to explain that almost every new couple has one big argument after getting married. "It happened to me and your father, and started over something so simple. Obviously we were alright, because look at us now, but we went through a rough few days,"
"Really?" I was shocked, to be honest. I had never had much experience with relationships and the arguments that naturally came with them but Ron and I had grown up together, gone through so much together that I think we understood each other more than even the both of us knew. I knew it would not be a perfect married life, I expected arguments of course, but I could not see us having one 'big' fight like my Mother described to me. I dismissed her comments and Ron and I giggled over it that night. We were closer than anything, I thought, never to be separated by anyone or anything.
Thinking back now, of course I was naive and stupid. I knew we would have disagreements, yes, but I had no idea that my Mother would be so correct in calling it the 'big one'. I could never have guessed what was coming and how big this argument would be. That I would even think that I had made a mistake in marrying this man who I had grown to love so very much-I never could have expected it. It was as if my Mother had set something in motion between Ron and I, because one week after she had asked me that question, it started.
Ron and I were round at Harry and Ginny's for dinner and it was already late in the evening. Our regular 'dinner parties' were usually a lot of fun and we sat in their lounge, the fire blazing next to us throwing off a comfortable heat as we quietly spoke of different things, but something was different tonight. Ron had been quiet all night, despite regular looks from me and questions, he said he was fine and I took this as the truth. I felt as if I was the only normal person that night, as Harry and Ginny seemed to be acting strangely as well. Just as I announced that we we're going to head off, Ginny stood up with the brightest smile I have ever seen her smile. I looked up expectantly.
"Before you go, we have some news," She beamed and I knew immediately what she was going to say. "I'm pregnant!"
I jumped up from my seat and engulfed her in a hug. She hugged me back just as tight and I grinned at her as we broke apart. "I'm so happy for you two! That's so amazing!"
"Congratulations, mate," I heard Ron say and turned to see him patting Harry on the back. I rushed over and embraced my best friend, kissing him on the cheek and grasping his hands.
"Harry, you must be so happy. We're so happy for you. It's so exciting!" I gave him one more kiss on the cheek before Ron stepped close to me and took my hand in his. A look passed between us and I knew this wasn't a romantic gesture. After a few more questions ("When are you due?") and answers ("I'm only 12 weeks gone, so a long time yet, but we couldn't wait to tell you!"), we made our excuses and left.
The second we arrived home, Ron dropped my hand and disappeared in the kitchen. I went into the bedroom and took off both my shoes and jewellery before going to find him. If he was in a mood and we were going to argue, I wanted to be comfortable. I came across him in the kitchen, sitting at the table eating the leftovers from dinner the night before.
"Ron?" His name was the only question I needed to ask. He didn't look at me, but finished his plate and got himself a drink before sitting back down and looking at me. I couldn't quite tell what was in his eyes and that was what worried me the most.
"Am I just second best?" His question came out rough, his voice uneven, as if he had been crying. I barely had time to register what he had asked me before he really got into what was bothering him. "I mean, I know you always preferred Harry to me at school, and I'm sure it was only ever 'just friends' between you two but what gets me is tonight, your reaction to their news,"
I was shocked and speechless but only for a second. "What on earth do you mean? He's my friend, you know that. I'm happy for him,"
"He's my friend too," The statement came out, it seemed, before Ron could stop it, and it had such a jealous tone to it that again I was shocked. "I'm excited for him too, but I didn't feel the need to kiss him," He spat the word as if it was venom and he was desperate to get rid of it. I watched as he stood up roughly and began pacing back and forth on the kitchen floor, while I stood limply in the doorway.
"So that's what this is, is it? Because I kissed my best friend on the cheek in reaction to his happy news? Is this some kind of joke, Ron? I can't believe you would think something so ridiculous," I took a step forward, desperate to calm him, make him see sense. I had always wondered about the jealousy between him and Harry, though I never thought it would be over me as the thought of that seemed absurd. What with Harry being who he was, with the whole world on his shoulders and Ron coming from such a different lifestyle, jealousy had always been the elephant in the room with those two, until our fourth year and the Triwizard Tournament. Had I been silly to think they had cleared all of those feelings then? Had something else occurred between them that I had not noticed?
As I attempted to move closer and pull him towards me he moved away and out of the room. I was reminded vividly of the argument all those years ago between Harry and Ron, when he had left us, left me. I wouldn't let him do that to me again and it was that thought that made me to follow him to force him into talking this through until we were okay again.
He wasn't in the lounge and I heard him making noises in the bedroom so I followed the noises. He was taking the cushions off, throwing them on the floor. In the time I had waited to get here he had changed into his boxers and was now climbing into bed.
"What are you doing?" I asked, and sat on the end of the bed. He turned over, not looking at me and didn't answer my question. "Ron, if you think I'm going to let you come out with such rubbish and then ignore me, you've got another thing com-"
"Rubbish?" He seemed to explode before me, sitting up and throwing the covers aside. In that second I felt slightly scared but that disappeared as he continued to speak. "You just can't admit it, can you? You've always preferred Harry to me, that much I've already said. Now look, he's having a child. Something you've wanted for ages, right? That I can't seem to give to you, but no, Harry does it without even thinking. They'll have a whole bloody litter before we even have our first if you leave it up to me because obviously I'm not up to the job,"
"Ron, please." I pleaded, my voice tinged with tears as they formed in my eyes. "You must know I don't think like that. That's nonsense. I have never, ever wanted Harry in that way. He is my friend and that's all he will ever be. Where has this come from?"
He resumed his pacing back and forth next to the bed, not meeting my eye, his fists clenching. I could not comprehend anything of what he was saying, nothing made sense.
"It's come from the years and years of us three. The 'Golden Trio' they called us in the Prophet, but it should have just been you two. What use was I? What did I do to help? Ran away, that's what. Harry will always deserve you. I left you, I don't deserve anything that I have, let alone a child with you,"
I broke down, my tears falling fast but I had to get my words out. Ron was getting dressed again and I was so terrified that he would leave.
"Please," I begged, crawling across the bed and seizing his hands. He paused what he was doing, his t-shirt halfway over his head. "Please, Ron. This is crazy. None of what you are saying is true, I don't think any of it. Please listen to me, let me talk to you,"
"I need to go. I have to get out of here. I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you," He almost shouted and wrenched himself free of my grip. Despite my sobs, within seconds he was gone.
I sat motionless for the next few minutes, trying frantically trying to process what had just happened. I was wrong in thinking everything was fine between us, that nothing could come between the two of us. I just never, ever would have thought it would be something like this. I had no idea what to do next, where Ron had gone to or when he would be back. I didn't know who to talk to, who would even be able to help with what he had said and accused. None of what he had said had made any sense at all. It seemed he was so upset that he was talking nonsense, but then if he really did believe what he was saying, we really did have a problem because this was obviously something that had been bothering him. By the way he just came out with it suggested to me that he had been bottling it up for a long time, years maybe.
As for the whole having a baby thing, they had always discussed wanting children but had never really decided to make it official and start trying. They were never really careful with contraception spells, only in the early days, but whether it was just coincidence, fate or something medical, I had never gotten pregnant yet. Of course I would be over the moon if it happened, and of course I wanted it but did I resent Ron because it hadn't happened yet? No way. The fact that Harry and Ginny had gotten pregnant before us was no big deal, and I was still incredibly happy for the two of them. It occurred to me then it was Harry that I needed to speak to. Maybe he had some idea as to why Ron would come out with this. It crossed my mind briefly that Ron would have gone there but I dismissed that thought as soon as it arrived. Ron had shown so much anger not just to me, but to Harry and I figured he would have gone perhaps to George or The Burrow.
I apparated to the house I had not long left and knocked on the door, hoping at this late hour that they hadn't gone straight to bed or if they had that it they had no yet fallen asleep. There were no lights on when I knocked but a minute or so after knocking a light came on within the house and Harry appeared at the window next to the door. His shocked face disappeared from the window and he pulled the door open. I instantly felt horrible for turning up this late as he stood freezing on the doorstep in his boxer shorts.
"Hermione? What's wrong? Where's Ron?" His voice was full of worry as he ushered me inside and Ginny came down the stairs in front of me, wrapping a cardigan tightly around, a look of worry to match her husband face.
"I'm so sorry to call this late. I wouldn't if I wasn't so-listen-Ron and I have had an argument-he took off-but I know that doesn't warrant a midnight visit but it-he said that-I can't-" My words tumbled over each other and Ginny put her arms around me and guided me to the couch. Their fire had died down but still let off a slight warmth which I was thankful for, still guilty that I had obviously gotten these two out of bed. Ginny sat next to me, her arm around me and Harry stood across from us, unsure of what he should do. After a mumble or two, he disappeared muttering something about a 'hot drink'. Ginny turned to me with a questioning look in her eyes and I repeated everything to her, every single word that had been spoken between Ron and I, the way he had been acting all evening and the way he had taken off. Her face showed shock, but there was something else behind it, a look of knowing.
"What I don't get, Ginny, is why? Why on earth would he think something like that? After all that we have been through?" I wiped my cheeks, not so much sad as I was angry now. Angry at the stupidity of it all, angry that I had got two of my friends out of bed for something so ridiculous, and angry that the man I had loved for the majority of my life could think something so unreasonable.
"I don't know, Hermione," She said slowly as Harry finally made his way back into the room with steaming mugs of hot chocolate in his hand. He placed them in front of us and then stood there awkwardly. I looked up at him.
"Please, tell me what you know," I asked and his face told me he had a lot to tell. He sat down across from us, running his fingers through his already untidy hair and sighed.
"I don't know what to tell you, Hermione," I shot him a look and he sighed again.
"I'm sure you heard what we were talking about even over the deafening sounds of making a hot drink," I said and he smiled sheepishly. Of course he had been eavesdropping.
"Listen, what I tell you, you can't tell Ron I told you," He explained and I sat forward on my seat, nodding and eager for whatever he was about to tell me. "He would kill me,"
"Please, Harry. Anything to help me understand what has gone on tonight,"
"Okay, so back when we were looking for the horcruxes? You remember that Ron was the one who destroyed the locket, right?" I nodded. "We didn't go into detail as to what happened when he stabbed it for a reason. We never agreed not to say anything, it was some unspoken thing. That locket-when he-when it...died, it said a few things first,"
Ginny had her head down and I knew Harry had told her this already. I was already guessing what the locket may have done when Harry confirmed my suspicions.
"It was Voldemort's voice and it said horrible things. That Mrs Weasley would have preferred a girl, not the boy she got. That Ron was second best to-well, to me. That he was least loved," Harry hung his head slightly, as if embarrassed by Voldemort's disgusting creations. "It was rubbish, obviously but Ron-for a second, back then, it looked like he was going to believe it. We spoke briefly after it happened and I told him you were a friend, like a sister. That was all we really said about it and then when you two got together after the war I never worried about it again,"
The mugs of hot chocolate sat ignored on the table as I digested this information. This didn't explain everything, but it explained a lot. "Why would he still be carrying this with him though? And what about the baby?"
A look passed between Harry and Ginny before the latter spoke.
"Ron knew before you that I was pregnant," She explained and I turned to face her. "He visited us early today while you were out for lunch. Harry couldn't wait to tell him,"
"He was funny almost instantly, Hermione, but I don't know why," Harry added and I sighed deeply.
"Have you guys been trying?" Ginny asked and Harry turned slightly red and excused himself, mentioning the toilet and disappearing out the door. Ginny rolled her eyes in his direction and turned back to me.
"Not officially, but there's nothing stopping it happening," I told her and she nodded. "I'm sorry to get you guys up this late. I should go anyway. I need to talk to Ron now so I guess I just have to wait for him to come back,"
"He'll be back," Harry said, suddenly appearing in the doorway and he looked at me firmly. "He came back last time, Hermione,"
I smiled slightly at Harry, appreciating his comment more than he could know. I stood up and waved my wand, sending the mugs into the kitchen where they began to rinse themselves out. Harry nodded a thanks and Ginny stood up too.
"You don't wanna stay, Hermione?" She asked but I shook my head.
"I want to be there if he comes back tonight," I said and they understood. We said our goodbyes and I stepped back into the cold night to make my way home.
Home felt cold and empty when I arrived and I cast a spell to warm the bed before I climbed into it. I didn't want to sleep alone but the house was deserted; Ron had obviously decided to stay elsewhere. Thoughts of Ron mixed with the horrible things Harry had told me filled my head and as I settled into bed, everything seemed to scare me; the shadows on the walls, the blow of the wind. I pulled the covers up close to my chin, and turned over, hoping to fall asleep quickly. I had barely closed my eyes when I heard it-a thump and it came from directly outside my bedroom window. I lay frozen for a second before remembering all of the protective enchantments that were surrounding the property. The only people who could get past those would not be doing so to harm me. With this rational thought in my head, I climbed out of bed and crept over to the window to peer out. It had begun to snow within the last five minutes, fast and thick and I could barely see the figure that was sitting on the front doorstep but I recognised the outline of that person almost immediately. Throwing on the nearest warm item of clothing I could find, which just happened to be Ron's last jumper from Mrs. Weasley with an 'R' on the front, I made my way downstairs.
Pulling open the front door, I noticed Ron had a jar in his hands with a blue flame dancing inside it and was holding it close to his chest. He didn't move as I sat down next to him, casting a few spells so that we were both warm and protected from the snow. Without saying anything, I reached for his hand and squeezed it tight. He squeezed it back and turned to look at me. I was stunned to see his eyes were red from crying and this touched me deeply. He lifted my hands to his lips and kissed them gently.
"Ron, you have to listen to me now. There has never been anyone else for me but you," I said and tears of my own formed in my eyes. I turned his face to keep him looking at me and he closed his eyes at my touch. "You have always been my one and only, and I don't care if that sounds silly because it's so true. Harry has only ever been my friend. You are my soul mate,"
"What's a soul mate?" He asked, his voice breaking and I remembered my Muggle upbringing, with princesses and fairytale endings compared to his, full of different stories and legends.
"It's you and me. Me and you. We're supposed to be together, no matter how much we fought or will fight, how much we irritate each other. We are meant to be, you and me, and nothing will ever change that," I told him as the tears fell down my face. I didn't want this 'fight' to last days like my Mum had said the one had between her and Dad. I wanted this sorted now so that I could go inside with my husband and hold him.
"But-Harry-the bab-"
"Forget about that. We'll start trying properly, if that's what you want but it's called fate, Ron. There will be a reason why I haven't fallen pregnant yet and it will have nothing to do with you or Harry and who is better. And for the record, in my eyes, you will always be the hero," He smiled softly at this and I knew I had made him understand. "You're mine, Ronald Weasley. I married you for a reason, okay? I have always wanted you, it was always you. Don't ever doubt that again,"
He nodded slowly and pulled me into a hug. I put my arms around him tightly and squeezed him as tight as I could, trying to put all of my love for him into that hug. We pulled apart and he kissed me softly on the forehead.
"Those flames-they're really good," I said and he smiled again.
"You taught me to do them," He replied and I laughed gently. "You make me a better man, Hermione and I love you so much for that,"
"Ron, you are already an amazing, wonderful, astonishing, incredible and brilliant person. I love you more than I can say,"
So we had our 'big one'. I'm pleased with the way it ended and how we came out of it, better and stronger people with a stronger relationship. And now, a month later, it's like it couldn't get better. I feel like we had to go through that to get to where we are now. We needed to understand that about each other, especially I needed to see how Ron felt about the whole situation and to reassure him that I was the girl for him, and always will be. We are soul mates in all meanings of the word.
Kind of a lame ending maybe? Hope you liked it, please review if you did. Got a few more to edit and then I can add a few more chapters onto this fic!
