Chapter 3 A Cut, A Call, A Chat
Holly's point of view
I strode to the off license as confidently as I could. My mind was racing, my vision blurring. The shop assistant gave me a baffled look. " Aren't you lasses meant to be at school?" He slurred. Mikey was an alcoholic over the years I've learnt to put up with him. "Inset day." A short and sweet reply shut him up.
I scanned the shelves, nothing. For fuck sake was there no flaming tins. Thankfully I saw a tin of spam on my way out that'll do I thought. I payed at the till and fled as fast as I could. I didn't want questions, nor looks. All previous memories were flooding my brain. I wanted freedom I wanted blood.
FLASHBACK
The funeral was looming. The one person I trusted, the one person I needed was gone. Killed by my own father. My poor mother laid dead in a coffin waiting to be buried. I smashed the nearest bottle I could find, my dad's precious bootle of whiskey. Fuck him he won't be needing that ever again. The glass was cold, the pain was unreal but the stream of crimson liquid which poured down my arm satisfied me. That was only one bit of pain going. My mum had suffered the consequences of the alcohol, I owe it too her,so, so should I.
END OF FLASHBACK
The memories felt so real as if I was in the situation again. I needed to feel the release. I needed to see blood. I needed to relieve the pain. I headed down the same alley, the same alley it had been killed his relation meant nothing. It was a killer, it was an alcoholic , it ruined my life. Trench way alley still stunk of booze, fags and death. The putrid smell filled my nostrils. My stomach churned and the contents emptied onto the damp ground. I staggered over to my usual place. No one could see. I was alone, safe and ready.
I slowly pulled the lid off using the clip. My hands shook with fear but nevertheless I grasped hold of the lid and anxiously glided it across my pale skin a crimson flow trickled down my arm.
What the fuck was I doing? I was over this I wanted it to stop! This wasn't me! What would my mum think. Not again Holly not again! You're strong. I only had one option. The one person I hoped would help she got me through the first time. But now she had Emma. What would she think?
I didn't have much of a choice I needed her my rock.
"Jac?" I questioned down the line. "Yes Holly?" She beckoned. "I'm sorry i didn't think I could do it again; I'm sorry help please make it stop please I need you please I'm in Trench Way alley alone please don't tell Zosia you have to come quick." I rambled all at once. "It's okay, I'm coming keep breathing you're doing well I'll be there in 5." The line went dead.
