Words: 4,589

Notes: Here's chapter three! I actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter, so I hope it's just as fun to read! As always, reviews are greatly appreciated~! I try to respond to all (if signed), but I'm sorry if I'm a little slow at it -_-u

*

Chapter Three: Dreams Against Reality

"Did you see Matt and Tai?"

"You mean over by that big boulder?"

"Yeah, they're just... sitting there."

"..."

"And Tai's not even sitting. It looks like he's sleeping."

"Maybe he had a hard night..."

The two older girls of the group let their anxious gazes fall on the unusual scene. Their voices were low, but the concern was obvious. Though seeing Tai lazing around was normal in itself, Matt hovering over him like a mother hen was not. Not to mention they had seen Matt talking to Jyou some time earlier.

Mimi sighed, "Yeah, maybe."

"You're worried about Tai too?" Koushiro asked, overhearing the girls' conversation. In all truth, he was terrified. Tai was probably his best friend in the whole world, and he had never seen him like that. Both of the girls nodded, and the three of them fell silent.

Watching from a distance, Kari shivered. A mix of fear and determination kept her routed, unable to move. She knew what she needed to do, for her brother's sake, but she didn't want to do it. She didn't like giving orders to people at all, but if Tai needed some time alone...

She took a deep breath and walked towards the group, "Tai needs to sleep. So we need to leave him alone."

As she expected, anger erupted in Sora's eyes, "I can't just leave him alone when he's like that!"

"Please," Kari begged, her honey brown eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Seeing this, Sora's anger melted, and she sighed, "Sure. Whatever. Let's just set up camp."

Kari smiled gratefully and ran, letting the tension in her leave. She never wanted the others to be mad at her. Ever. Her legs were still shaky, but she kept moving, heading over to where she knew her Gatomon would be waiting patiently. Jyou was there as well, still getting as much information out of the digimon as he could. He spared a single glance for Kari as she scooped up her feline digimon before returning to his work.

***

(Hours later)

For the seventeenth time, Matt shifted, trying to keep his body from falling asleep. He had not moved from his constant vigilance over the wild-haired boy, no matter how much his body yearned to. At times, it was worth it, particularly when the fevered boy would start twisting in the throes of a nightmare. That was why Matt stayed; to keep him from getting sicker.

To protect him, his subconscious whispered, but Matt ignored it.

A small, pained sound brought him far away from his thoughts, and instantly Matt's hands were moving. Just as he'd done too many times that afternoon. One hand was buried in soft brown hair, having quickly found out that it calmed the other down the fastest. The other hand adjusted the now warm cloth on his forehead. Agumon jerked awake, a sense of dread overcoming him.

"Something's wrong," he whispered, his voice fearful.

"Just another nightmare."

But Agumon shook his head insistently, "No, something else!" He quickly jumped up to look over his partner, searching for the answer in his not-so-peaceful face. Anguish. That was the most evident, made all the more obvious when another moan slipped through clenched teeth. His partner was suffering.

"Tai?" Matt said softly, not sure what to expect.

Slowly, chocolate brown eyes slid open, still glazed over from fever and pain. They seemed to look through the blond, unseeing. For some reason, this made Matt's heart wrench, but he put the feeling aside to focus on the real problem.

"Tai? Can you hear me?"

The brunet's gaze didn't move, "Why are they fighting?"

Matt froze, "Huh?"

"If they keep going, they might hurt Kari."

"Tai?"

"She's already sick. I don't want her to die. I don't want to kill her."

Matt and Agumon looked at each other, neither understanding what the fevered boy was talking about. Their attention returned to Tai as soon as he opened his mouth once more.

"If they don't stop, I'll make them." There was determination in his weak voice. "I won't let them hurt Kari... because I hurt her already." A single tear slid down the tanned cheeks. "They're still too close. I can't save everyone."

"What are you seeing?" Matt asked himself, eyes wide at the pain he heard in the other's voice.

Suddenly, something indistinguishable flashed through brown eyes before they unexplainably cleared. The pain was still there, but it seemed like Tai had returned to reality. Matt held his breath as those expressive eyes locked with his, and breathed a silent sigh of relief when Tai smiled weakly.

"Hey Yama. What's going on?" His voice was shaky, but it was still a start. Hesitantly, Matt pressed the back of his hand against Tai's forehead.

Instantly, he yanked it back.

"Yama?"

"Y-you're burning up, Tai." Worse than before.

Brown eyebrows drew together in confusion, "I don't feel hot."

Matt shook his head, getting more panicked by the second. "I'm serious, Tai. We have to get you help."

Tai shuddered, closing his eyes briefly, "Yeah, I know." His voice was no more than a whisper, but the admittance was clear.

For a moment, silence reigned, as both tried to collect their thoughts. Agumon had already bolted in search of Jyou, giving the others a few minutes of privacy. Though he was an inexperienced digimon in many ways, Agumon could easily recognise the bond between the two boys growing. He knew that Tai would open up to no one else by this point. He only hoped Matt would realise this too.

A shiver caused Tai to curl into himself a little more, bringing Matt out of his own silence, "Are you cold?" It was an obvious question, but he wanted the other to answer nonetheless.

"Y-yeah. But I can handle it."

"So do you want me to leave you alone?" Matt asked, figuring the other wanted to play it tough. He didn't know if he would actually listen or not, but he had no time to ponder it because Tai had instantly grabbed onto his shirt. Startled, Matt looked into the other's fear-filled eyes.

"Please, Yamato." The plea was nearly completely silent, but deadly serious. Though he didn't directly answer the question, the message was easily understood.

There was no possible way that Matt could leave now.

He sighed softly, "I don't mind staying, but you have to talk to me."

"Talk...?"

"Quit pretending you're fine."

"Oh."

An awkward silence fell between them during which neither could look the other in the eye. As if on cue, a jolt of sheer, sudden pain sent Tai curling into himself, biting down on his bottom lip hard. Matt could only watch anxiously, still running his hand through chocolate locks. There was nothing he could do; no medicine, no pain relievers, nothing. He hated it!

"What's wrong with him?" Jyou's concerned voice was suddenly right beside him.

Matt looked up fearfully, "I don't know! I think it just hurts."

Jyou nodded in understanding before kneeling next to Tai, "Hey, can you hear me?"

Barely conscious, Tai nodded minutely, not willing to open his mouth and risk screaming. Or throwing up, whichever came first.

"Good, that's a start. Is it your shoulder that hurts?"

Another tiny nod.

"Anywhere else?"

This time, Tai did moan, a small sound that indicated his lack of interest in stupid questions. He didn't want to play a guessing game, he just wanted it to go away! Was that really too much to ask? Apparently yes, considering an entirely new wave of pain crashed through him. As he felt the blissful darkness coming to meet him, he tightened his hold on Matt's shirt, the only reassurance that he wasn't alone.

"He's fading," Jyou said softly, not mentioning Tai's desperate grip.

"So what do we do?!" Matt looked panicked, but intelligently refrained from running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Jyou stood up, "We keep him warm and we talk to the others. The digimon didn't know anything more than we do."

Without further ado, the doctor-to-be went off in search of sleeping bags, leaving Matt to look worriedly down at the now unconscious boy. Without thinking, his free hand gently pried one of Tai's off, loosely entwining their fingers in a comforting hold.

It suddenly seemed like there was so much he wanted to say to the other, so much he wanted to do. An apology, for starters; he wanted to say sorry for all the petty arguments and full-out fighting. He wanted to tell the other how much their friendship meant to him, and maybe even how much he's enjoyed being needed by Tai, despite the desperate circumstances. He wanted to put everything out in the open, have no secrets, truly be the best of friends.

He wanted so much, but there was no time!

Cut it out, he chided himself nervously, it's not like he's dying.

His hand involuntarily tightened on the other's, "Don't you dare leave me, you goggle-headed idiot!"

A tiny, hardly noticeable smile graced the wild-haired boy's lips.

***

Tai found himself sitting on the edge of a building, looking down onto a park.

There, two children danced among the golden leaves of autumn. One was younger, her hair cropped short and a whistle hung around her neck. She seemed to be absolutely delighted to be rolling around in dirty, dead leaves.

Kari, Tai's subconscious provided, and he felt the corners of his mouth lift up in a gentle smile.

"She always did love fall."

His gaze fell onto the other child, easily picking out his immaculate blond hair as he leaned against a tree. Tai didn't question how he could see the boy's blue eyes from so far away, he just went along with the situation. He wanted to go down and play with the two people who meant the most to him, but seeing as he was twenty feet above—

Suddenly, he found himself right in front of the leaf pile that his younger sister was jumping into. Like before, his mind just accepted this as if it were an everyday occurrence.

"Hey Tai," the blond's voice made his smile grow even bigger.

"Hey Yama! Hey Kari!"

"Want to come play with me, big brother?" Kari asked, her voice muffled by the leaves surrounded her.

Tai didn't really feel like jumping—for some odd reason, he thought his shoulder would protest—but he would do anything for his little sister. Without another moment's hesitation, he jumped, the sound of Kari's bright laughter ringing in his ears.

But the leaves didn't break his fall. He just kept going, down through the earth as if there had been a giant hole there. No, as if his body could simply phase through things. He didn't want to keep falling, though! He wanted to stay with Matt and Kari!

As if the world actually listened to him, Tai found himself landing, not even stumbling from the transition. In front of him was a pool, crystal clear water filling it. Not a single ripple ran through it until Tai gently prodded it with his finger. He thought he could feel the liquid, but when he pulled his hand back, it was completely dry.

"Weird," he said aloud, "Must be, like, fast drying water or something."

Shrugging off the odd thought, Tai looked into the water. An image was reflected back to him, as if he were looking through the pond to something below. It was like he had never left his spot on the building long before, because he was once again watching Kari and Matt playing in the autumn leaves.

Except this time, something was different. This time, there was another participant. A strange-haired boy was simply standing in front of them, his back to Tai. An odd shadow creature seemed to be resting on his right shoulder, seemingly unnoticed by the boy and Tai's friends.

"I don't remember seeing that boy... though his hair is so cool! The way it completely defies... gravity..."

Everything suddenly made sense; he was watching himself. Or, he was watching a recording, maybe... but where had that shadow come from?

Tai watched curiously as "pool-self" looked about to jump, just as he knew would happen. The shadow on his shoulder seemed to grow, finger-like appendages snaking their way down his body. Tai shivered at the thought, as if the shadow was on his shoulder, as opposed to "pool-self".

"Pool-self" disappeared into the leaves, and though Tai could hear nothing of the scene, he knew Kari was laughing. A strange thought occurred to the wild-haired boy at that moment.

"If I came here after I jumped, will the pool-me come here too?"

But something was rising from the leaves. Something completely black. Something... shadow-like. It took the form of a wild-haired boy and seemingly replaced him. Kari hugged it, in thanks perhaps, and Matt gave it a soft smile.

"Wait a minute! Can't they tell that's not me?"

But things kept going like normal, the shadow fitting right in. Desperately, Tai punched the water, trying to change the reality he was seeing. As he half expected, it didn't work. The shadow-self looked up, directly into Tai's eyes before a creepy smirk appeared on its face.

"What are you thinking..." Tai murmured to himself, suddenly worried.

The shadow-self reached out to help Kari up, its hand gripping too tightly. Tai saw his younger sister's face contort in pain, and his own brown eyes widened fearfully.

"Don't hurt her!" He pounded uselessly on the water again, not even marvelling at how it didn't splash him. Frantically, he jumped into the pool, hoping to fall through to reach his stupid shadow-self and beat some sense into it.

I won't let a shadow control me, he thought to himself determinedly before the entire world faded to black and pain engulfed him.

***

As his mind slowly fought through the haze of pain and fever, the world started coming into focus. It all happened in progressive phases; first, his hearing began to work, registering a voice with a worried tone in it. Then his body started to register feelings other than pain, like the gentle hand in his hair and a heavy weight on his chest. His sight came back next, as he opened his eyes and tried to make shapes and figures out of blurry images.

Eventually, his mind clicked into action, and what was once just a voice became coherent words.

"Tai? Tai?! Are you even listening to me?"

Tai blinked, trying to focus on the dinosaur digimon that was practically sitting on his face. He wanted to tell his partner to move, or at least go on a diet, but no matter how hard he tried, Tai simply couldn't force his throat to form a sound. It was as if his entire body was frozen, but his senses were not.

Finally, Agumon moved, shifting his weight off of his injured friend when he got no reply. Tai tried to smile, but nothing happened. He tried to reach out and comfort the worried digimon, but his arm didn't move. It was very frustrating.

"Why won't he answer, Matt?"

Warmth engulfed his hand as he felt something tightening around it. Though he couldn't move his head, Tai was able to see the pale hand through his peripheral vision. Just the thought made a pleasant feeling run through his entire body, which he happily focused on instead of the pain. Shifting his gaze—the only thing that was apparently not frozen—to the human figure leaning over him, he saw an angel.

"Tai?"

Well, not in the literal sense. It didn't have big, feathery wings or anything, but it was still the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Perfectly styled blond hair, pale skin that seemed to glisten in the sunlight, intense blue eyes...

"Tai? Are you with me?"

And the voice! So familiar and warm, with a deep tone of worry... wait, why was the angel worried? An angel should be happy and free of problems, not concerned just because some boy was sick.

"We're going to force-feed you if you don't snap out of it!" The angel threatened.

Hey! I'm not a baby, Tai wanted to protest. Why wasn't Agumon standing up for him?

The angel sighed, "It's not working. I don't know what's wrong."

"Do you think we should call for Jyou?"

No! There's no point! I'm fine! Still, Tai could say nothing. He was almost ready to just give up, when the angel seemingly read his mind.

"I don't think so. It doesn't seem like he's getting worse, really. Just... spaced out."

If he could move, Tai would've hugged the angel endlessly. However, he had already established that he couldn't move whatsoever, and it was really beginning to frustrate him. He didn't want to watch from the sidelines!

His attention turned to his partner when he heard Agumon say, "I'll go tell everyone what's going on, then."

"You're a life-saver, Agumon."

"I know," the dinosaur grinned, "I am the great Tai's partner, after all." The joke was a desperate attempt at passing everything off as fine, Tai could tell, but he was proud of his digimon for being so strong nonetheless, especially when it brought a laugh out of the angel.

"Whatever you say, oh great one," the angel mocked.

Agumon shifted on his feet for a moment before he sighed, "Yeah. Just make sure you eat something, Matt." And then he was gone, running out of Tai's limited vision, though the wild-haired boy's attention had already moved on to something much more important; the angel's name.

It was like all of the built up stress and guilt just washed away and not even the pain could dampen his happiness. Why? What was so great about finding out the angel wasn't really a messenger from God, but actually your best friend? In fact, shouldn't he be scolding himself for thinking of him as beautiful?

No, Tai told himself firmly, I won't be mad at myself anymore. It only makes people worry.

This small admission suddenly made him feel a whole lot lighter, like the invisible force holding him down had lifted. On a whim, he tried to move his left arm; the one currently attached to a pale blond's hand.

Nothing happened.

His body remained frozen, even as his watched a single tear run down his best friend's cheek. Even as he saw the pain and worry in those passionate blue eyes. Even as his own heart ached in response to the other's pain.

"I'm not giving up on you, Tai. I know you're in there somewhere," his angel whispered determinedly.

Because ultimately, that's what Matt was; not heaven's angel, but Tai's, and he hated to see his angel in pain. His thoughts suddenly turned to the strange but very realistic dream he had endured not too long ago. Already, the once vivid images were only a blur of feelings and thoughts. There was only one emotion that remained strikingly clear; the fear of being controlled.

It was this mix of trepidation and pain that once more swallowed Tai whole.

***

"Matt! If you don't tell us what's wrong with Tai, then we'll... we'll..."

"Sick our digimon on you!"

"Yeah! Wait, what?"

Matt had known that it couldn't be long before the group started asking questions. He had almost expected to be cornered, though not particularly by Koushiro and Mimi. He figured it would be Sora. Regardless, here he was, taking a break from "Tai-sitting" to go to the bathroom only to find himself up against concerned friends. He was beginning to think he never should've listened to his body.

"Matt?" Mimi's voice tore him from his thoughts, effectively bringing reality crashing down.

Graceful as ever, Matt replied with a simple, emotionless "huh?"

"MATT!" Mini whined loudly, "You're not supposed to ignore me!"

"Yeah! Especially when Tai's life could be on the line!"

Instantly, the blond fixed Koushiro with a glare made to freeze fire, "Tai will not die, alright? So quit asking me stupid questions!"

Koushiro returned the glare instantly, his voice entirely serious, "They're not stupid questions! All we want to know is what's wrong with Tai and why you won't let us see him!"

The tension rose dramatically between the two digidestined, almost becoming tangible. It was a face-off for the right to watch over their natural-born leader, even if they didn't know it. Mimi could only watch from the sidelines, eyes wide at the taste of conflict in the air.

Matt was about to retaliate to the smaller boy's comment, when the truth become painfully obvious to him; I won't let anyone else near him because I want to keep him for myself. Realising this, guilt washed over him. What ever gave him the right to claim Tai as his own? After all the fighting and all the pointless arguments?

Averting his gaze, Matt let out a mumbled "Just ask Jyou" before leaving to finish his business and think things through.

But, as fate would have it, nothing was on his side, because he had barely been gone for two minutes when Sora caught up to him. She had a concerned light in her eyes and instantly, Matt was on the defensive, expecting another round of questioning about Tai.

"Have you eaten anything yet, Yamato?"

Huh? Confused, Matt didn't answer, leaving Sora to guess on her own intelligence.

She grinned sadly, "Of course you haven't. Who am I kidding? You're too worried about him, right?"

Still, Matt couldn't form a coherent sentence. His mind was in the process of decoding the girl's message and trying to make sense of it.

"It's funny, Yamato, but I think I can understand exactly why you won't let us take care of Tai too," she continued, no longer waiting for a response, "I think it must have something to do with being a woman. Or maybe my crest. But it doesn't matter, does it? A fact is a fact regardless of where one gets it from."

Finally, Matt got his voice to work, "That was very philosophical." Unfortunately, he completely ignored the important parts of Sora's small monologue.

Sora simply laughed, "Thank you for pointing that out. Now will you listen to me?"

"Whatever."

"I'll take that as a yes," she mumbled with an affectionate roll of the eyes, "Right now, you don't want other people to go near Tai because it makes you irrationally jealous, correct?"

"What?! That's not it at all!" Matt resisted, wide-eyed.

"And you don't want to leave his side because something could happen to him."

"No!"

"You want to shield him from everything even though you know he doesn't need protecting."

"No..."

"And you won't admit it to yourself because you're afraid."

"..."

"Don't you get it, Yamato? It's not some forbidden emotion!"

"Shut up!" Matt suddenly snapped, her words hitting too close to home, "What do you know about it? What makes you so smart? What—"

Sora snorted humourlessly, interrupting him, "The Crest of Love, remember? I know all of this because... it's sorta true for me too."

"Oh... wait, you love Tai?!" Matt exclaimed, shaken.

Again, Sora rolled her eyes, "Not Tai, you jealous idiot. Just... someone."

Without realising it, Matt let out a sigh of relief, "Right. Of course. I hope you and... this person get together someday, then."

The girl's eyes softened, a sad thought running through her mind; No, Matt. The person I want is unattainable. He's already in love with someone else, even if he doesn't admit it.

Outwardly, she just smiled. "Maybe someday. But first, you have a person to watch over, ne?"

Without even waiting for an answer, the ginger-haired girl walked away. Stunned, Matt could only watch her leave, suddenly filled with a sense of security in knowing that he had a friend he could go to whenever he needed. Shaking his head to clear it, Matt finished what he originally intended to do and made his way back to where he could shamelessly watch over his newly realised crush.

***

Tai was a social person through and through. He constantly strove for attention and companionship. People seemed drawn to him, maybe attracted by his general compassion for everyone. He didn't really give it much thought, he just enjoyed the company. In fact, he needed it.

So being stuck alone in the middle of a grey, barren wasteland was like a death sentence to him.

"Uh, guys?" He could barely recognise his own voice in the silence of nothingness. It sounded so loud, and yet so hollow.

All around him was his mind's representation of isolation, though he couldn't have known that. To him, it was just rocks and stripped trees on a flat surface. No life, no colour. Even the leaf-less trees were an odd shade of grey. He didn't even wonder how they came to be that way, he just continued to look around.

"Is anyone out here?" He continued to call out, once more trying to fill the silence.

Not even the wind answered him.

His attention shifted upward, suddenly curious about why the sun wasn't doing its job. An inky black cloud hovered above him, dousing the world in shadows that Tai just realised were there. The only variance in the sky was a soccer ball, pressed up against the cloud like a helium balloon would be to the ceiling.

"Maybe if I can reach it, the sky will open up for me," Tai mused, his logic flawless in his opinion. There was no questioning towards how a soccer ball was hanging from the sky, no doubt that he could reach such an unreachable height. Everything just was.

And so he put all his energy into his legs and forced himself into the air, his arm stretched to touch the ball. But it seemed like the entire sky moved away from him.

As he landed back on the rocky ground, he made a shaky, contemplative noise. The emptiness was beginning to get to him, and he was doing everything in his power to avoid it. Maybe that was the real reason he would do something so ludicrous as trying to touch the sky.

"Stupid soccer ball," he finally muttered to himself.

Suddenly, the ball began to fall, its descent happening in slow motion. Tai watched it with wide eyes, noticing every spin it made in the air, every wisp of air that it pushed through. Unconsciously, he took a step towards it, his sight never faltering. Then another. And another. But the ball kept falling farther away, as if some unfelt wind was pushing it forward.

Tai followed it, steadily breaking into a run. It was his only company.