Hey there. Long time no update, eh? Over a month . . . my bad. Life at school gets super-hectic. Now that the term ballet's over, everyone's focusing on the choreography competition (including me).
***
After an evening of pizza, gummy worms, and sappy romcoms with Sam and Carly, I was so ready to go home. The new issue of Tech Weekly just came in the mail, so I could sit out on the fire escape with a cup of coffee and read it for a while. Oh wait - global project! I'm about to get up to go when Carly stops me. "Where are you going, Freddie?" she asks, holding up another DVD. "We were just about to start Markus & Alana!"
"Yeah. Another hundred and twenty one minutes of fate, anguish, and true love," Sam smirks, twirling a lock of her messy blonde hair.
I shrug. "Some of us have homework," I point out. "Remember, Miss Ellis assigned us, like, the biggest project on Islam. Ever." So what if I'm stretching the truth a little? No guy wants to admit to spending a Saturday night watching a movie about a waitress and screen writer.
Carly smiles at me. "Okay, I guess you have a point. You'll be over at four for rehearsal, right?"
"Totally." I reach for my backpack, but it's not where I left it. I look up and right at Sam. "Where'd you put it?" She smiles and bites her lip evilly. She sits up and adjusts her lemon-printed shirt. "Try the bathroom." I roll my eyes and retrieve it from in the shower. By the time I'm back in the Shay's living room, the opening sequence is playing.
"Bye guys," I say, hand on the door.
"See ya, Fredalupe!" Sam calls, saluting me with a wink. I cross the hallway and let myself into my apartment. My mom is sitting on the couch, biting her nails nervously. She bounces up when she sees me and pulls me tight. "I was so worried," she murmurs. I squirm away.
"Mom. It's eight thirty."
"No boy should be out past eight."
"I'm sixteen."
"But-"
"I'm gonna go to my room," I say, "to work on my global history homework. Wake me up if I'm not up by nine tomorrow morning, okay?"
"Of course." And just like that, I'm free to do what I want for the rest of my night. I quickly shower and pull on my Galaxy Wars pajama pants. I reach inside my bag for my black binder, but the PearPod is on top. I pull out the blue paper Sam's tucked inside to read. Hey Freddie. One thing before I write my story: when can I try kickboxing with you? It sounds like a lot of fun. Not that I'd admit to anyone else but you that I think something you would do is fun. So don't tell anyone. Anyway, onto my story. I, uh, listen to this song whenever I get a letter from my dad. He tells me all the time about how great Chicago is and how I can come to visit him anytime, but honestly Freddie . . . he disappoints me. So much. It's sometimes is worse than a broken heart, 'cause you know your dad is supposed to love you and be there for you but mine isn't. Disappointment is something that's an everyday occurrence in my life. I guess one thing I can count on is the fact that this song reminds me I deserve better. You and Carly prove to me that I'm worth something, too. xo, Sam. I find myself surprised at the honesty in Sam's note. I pop the earbud in, scroll through the list, and press play.
So the story goes on down a less traveled road. It's a variation on the one I was told. And although it's not the same, it's awful close. In an ordinary fairy tale land, there's a promise of a perfect happy end. And I imagine having just short of that, is better than nothing. So you'll be my forever and almost always. And I'll be fine, just love me when you can. And I'll wait patiently, I'll wake up everyday, just hoping that you still care. In the corner of my mind, I know too well. Oh, that surely even I deserve the best. But instead of leaving, I just put the issue to bed, and out of my head. Oh and just when I believe, you've changed for good, well you go and prove me wrong just like I knew you would. When I've run out of second chances, you give me that look, and you're off the hook. Because you're my forever and almost always. And I'll be fine, just love me when you can. And I'll wait patiently, I'll wake up everyday, just hoping that, you still care. What am I still doing here? It's all becoming so clear. You'll be my forever and almost always. It ain't right to just love me when you can. I won't wait patiently, or wake up everyday, just hoping that you'll still care. Forever and almost always. No it ain't right to just love me when you can, baby. Ain't gonna wait patiently, I won't wake up everyday, just hoping that you still care.
"Ain't gonna wait patiently, I won't wake up everyday just hoping that you still care," I repeat to myself. Sam's a real person. She deserves better than the crappy family she has, even if she acts like she doesn't care at all. And that song and story just proved that she's not made of steel. She's like a butterfly - beautiful, complicated, and fragile.
***
I normally don't tell you guys the songs, but this is my new favorite. It's called "Forever and Almost Always" and I'm using it for my choreography piece. Listen to it. It's very gorg.
xo, Chantal
