I wish I had a goat. But I don't know the first thing about raising them.
Total Drama Redux
Episode 2
The ringing bell reminded Izzy a lot of that one time when she was staying with her uncle at Fort McKenna way up in Alaska and the alarm had gone off signaling and air raid from the Russian forces just across the way. That was one of the coolest things she had ever experienced because it meant she got to get on one of those huge machine guns on top of the tank and fire those exploding –
Ok, I'm sorry – I really wouldn't do that to you. I don't think I could even do that.
There really had been a ringing bell, although if you asked Courtney she would tell you it was more like in those old movies about the South where the perfect housewife in pearls rang for her hardworking farmer husband to come in for dinner instead of a siege alarm. And she certainly wasn't a hardworking husband, but she got up in response to the bell anyway.
Moseying out of the room with the rest of her roommates, Courtney rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and vaguely wondered what time it was. The ticking clock in the living room revealed it to be five in the morning, and Courtney wasn't really surprised. She made her way to the bathroom to begin her day, bumping absentmindedly into Bridgette along the way. The two mumbled an apology that each sounded like, "Mry," but ignored everything else. It only took about a second to discover that the water in the showers was always going to be ice cold, so Courtney's shower only lasted about three minutes before she just had to be out. Scowling, she dressed and made her way down the stairs.
"Ranchers!" Chris called, making his presence known amongst the slowly growing group in the living room, "How did you guys sleep in your news beds?" There seemed to be few complaints regarding the quality of sleep, but a few let out some grunts and groans of annoyance. Apparently, Owen's bed had collapsed in the middle of the night; the others seemed more incensed about the noise it created than Owen discovering his mattress on the floor. "Excellent," he continued, "'Cuz we got some work for you outside! Hurry up with the dressing and stuff and meet me by the goats in ten!"
He was gone again almost magically. Courtney pondered briefly about the travelling habits of their host but didn't let it much get to her because she only had a few minutes to throw her clothes on and even figure out where the goats were.
She ended up walking with Bridgette after donning her oldest jeans and a worn Student Council t-shirt (had this been the one from just before Total Drama Island? She thought so…) and praying her tennis shoes didn't suffer too much. Bridgette had chosen similar clothes, and the two were warily traversing the largely unexplored farmlands in search of any hints of goat. Geoff caught up to them shortly before they found the old barn housing the goats, sporting his raggedy flip-flops. The two girls shared a laugh at his expense before entering the small barn.
DJ was already in there, cooing at some of the goats who were bleating back happily. He gave them a hearty, friendly wave before returning his affections to the goats. The three watched nervously before other campers began to show. Chris joined them as well, only this time talking animatedly with one of the camera crew (duh, Courtney thought, I totally forgot those guys would be here). As soon as he had counted all 22 heads, however, he clapped his hands together and bellowed a cheerful morning greeting.
"I hope you guys got a good night's sleep 'cuz you got a lot of work to do this morning," he greeted, and then leaned forward a little to receive the complaints.
"When do we get breakfast?" Owen asked, and though his voice always sounded cheery Courtney was certain there was a little panic in there as well. Chris let out a maniacal laugh and Courtney felt herself flinch along with Owen.
"You gotta take care of the goats first, big guy." Owen face crinkled up as though he was about to unleash a torrent of tears, and even Chris looked worried, "But don't worry! All you have to do is move 'em to the feeding pasture and then you can come get your breakfast!"
Owen instantly cheered, but Gwen looked skeptical. "That's the whole challenge? Herding some goats to a field?" She crossed her arms and the others looked to Chris expectantly.
He looked thoroughly insulted. "Cha – of course not!" he shrieked, causing of few the men to let out manly chuckles. Chris crossed his arms in a pout and glared at them. "I'm not telling you the rest of the challenge until you're back from the first part! Get moving!"
The large group began shuffling out when Beth bravely turned back to Chris to ask where they were going. The host barked out a sharp reply that even the others heard, for which Beth looked grateful. There were exactly 22 goats that Courtney could count once they were outside, and immediately the goats began spreading out, exploring every crevice in the farm ground. Courtney looked around. Clearly somebody needed to take charge of this before they lost a goat, or a person, or something.
"Ok guys, everybody pick a goat and head – "
"For the hills, right?" Noah was looking smug at his own witty comment, but nobody else seemed impressed and Courtney looked (and felt) mildly violent. He brushed them off with his shoulders and meandered towards a particularly puny looking goat while the others each randomly chose their creature. Gwen was the first to choose a large stick for her herding process but Courtney had to agree that this was indeed a good method for moving the nannies and billies before them. She joined the Goth near the front of the herd and prayed that wherever they were going wasn't too far off.
It was, of course, over a mile walk. And a very eventful mile walk, considering the time of day. The goats, friendly as they were, were also rather curious creatures that tended to wander unless firmly directed by the guiding rancher. Courtney felt hers was particularly troublesome because it seemed to want to make friends with everybody, including each individual plant it passed. It kept Courtney so delayed that she found herself near the back of the herding line while Gwen and Trent maintained the front. She tried to keep her cool by staring straight at the goat in front of her and at the path before it. At some point Duncan had greeted her with a, "Having fun yet, Princess?" and she wanted to yell that he was prodding the poor goat too hard, but she was too horrified to speak. Her goat wasn't even on the trail anymore, but she couldn't be bothered. Right in front of them walked Geoff and Bridgette, and Geoff's barely clad foot had just trod in a giant pile of goat poo.
She caught the insulted look on Duncan's face when she ignored him, but in her appalled stupor she pointed blankly to where Geoff and Bridgette were getting farther ahead. Duncan looked to where she was pointing and immediately choked on his own laughs. Heather, Lindsay, and Tyler all caught up behind them and gave them a questioning stare, and Duncan finally let out a giant guffaw.
"Duncan!" Courtney cried, hitting him in his side with her stick, "Cut it out!" He let out a grunt of pain but continued laughing. By now Bridgette and Geoff had both also stopped to look behind them and Courtney gave them a horrified expression.
"Oh man," the delinquent let out finally and between gasps, and everybody waited for him to continue. Courtney let out one more hiss in warning and kicked his shoe – her goat nudged him as if it agreed, but he ignored both. "Man," he gasped out again, but couldn't keep going. Finally he just pointed to Geoff's feet.
It moved in slow motion for Courtney. She could feel her cheeks flare up as all the attention turned to Geoff and he looked down to his feet. Heather and Lindsay's cries of disgust and Bridgette's revolted expression mirrored what Courtney's had been just moments before, she could tell.
"Gross, dude!" Geoff cried, wiping it desperately against the grass. When the desperate motions did nothing but smear the pie, Geoff began to shake his foot back and forth, much to the shock of everybody surrounding him. Bits of goat droppings were airborne almost instantaneously, and Courtney cried out, seeking shelter behind the still laughing Duncan.
"That was the most disgusting thing, ever." Geoff stated once he had removed what he could, and Bridgette gave him a very dirty look before. "How long was it like that?"
"Princess totally watched you step in it," Duncan offered with a smirk and Courtney screeched again behind him.
"You're the one that started laughing!" she countered, pointing at him accusingly, and not noticing that Geoff wasn't even paying attention anymore.
"Yeah, but you should have seen your face!" Somebody's goat bleated in agreement. Courtney glared at her own companion, who was munching happily on some thistle near the trail. Duncan's nudged hers away and ate the rest. She glared at it too.
"Look," Heather interrupted, "Can we just move on? I swear this smell is getting into my hair."
Lindsay looked horrified again. "It can get in your hair? Oh my God is my hair okay?"
Ignoring Tyler's, "I think it looks fine," Duncan put his arm around Courtney and gave Heather a grin. "Already forgotten," he stated, and nudging the two munching kids turned Courtney around and continued their journey.
"Hey guys," Trent brushed his way past Geoff and Bridgette to approach the group, pulling Gwen behind him by the hand. "There's a pen just over the hill. See you at breakfast!" Duncan let out a whoop and ushered both Courtney and the goats faster. He even managed to get a decent squeeze on her behind before boosting her over the crest of the hill and into the throng of retreating ranchers.
"Ogre!" she cried, but he was already laughing again.
Ugh. This was totally all Chris's fault.
… … … …
Ever notice Chris's continual use of exclamation points? Is it hard to write for you guys?
And you know what? Working 22 people is damn hard! How the hell do you do it? I don'tt think Noah or Eze or Eva have actually said anything besides "scoff" or "growl." Sad face.I'm also trying to ease my way into Duncan's personality. The others are either easy or don't really talk much, either in the show or in my imaginings of their characters but Duncan is somebody whose motivations and thoughts seem to elude logic for me.
Please review and let me know what you think. Really the more reviews I receive, the more I want to write, and any (polite) criticisms are really helpful with my writing style.
