A/N: Here's chapter three. I think it may be the most angsty thing I've ever written in my life, but I love how it turned out. I hope you do too. The next one (or two, depending on how long they are) chapters will be super fluffy to make up for it. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Nothing familiar is mine!
3
Message in a Bottle
"Because I knew you; I have been changed… For good." I choked out the last word and twined our hands together one final time, my gaze never leaving hers. Elphaba's sable eyes glistened as I traced the contours of her beautiful emerald features, taking in every detail I possibly could, hoping her face would burn itself into my memory. A deep-seated dread churned my stomach as the blissful silence radiated through the cavernous walls of Kaimo Ko. The calm before the most horrendous, violent storm I would ever witness.
I shook my head, golden curls tickling my shoulders. We both knew time was running out, but I was determined not to think about that. This might very well be the last time I would ever have the chance to see her, and dammit, I was going to enjoy it. She brought her hand up and stroked my cheek, which I only then realized was still damp with tears. I tried to push them back, but it was fruitless. The pain of losing her was already unbearable, and nothing had even happened yet. I nuzzled my cheek into her palm; I honestly had no idea what I was going to do without her. "Elphaba..." I whimpered. I didn't want to leave her. I didn't want to go on in a world where my best friend no longer existed except in some delusional, twisted fantasy. She might be the Wicked Witch to the rest of Oz, but to me, she would always and forever, be Elphie.
"You're my best friend, Glin." she whispered, cutting me off. "Never forget that, okay? I love you, and I know you'll make me proud." She pressed the Grimmerie a little further toward my chest, and it took every bit of strength I had left not to break down in her arms. She pulled me close, squeezing me tighter than I'd ever seen her hug anyone. I buried my face in the crook of her neck. My tears soaked through her tattered dress in a matter of minutes, but neither one of us wanted to be the first to let go.
Suddenly, an army of footsteps thundered over the stairs, heading straight toward our sanctuary. I jerked backward as shards of stone hit the ground with massive thuds, shaking the castle. My hands begin to tremble and my blue eyes widened in fear. "El… Elphaba," I whispered, trying to quell the panic in my throat despite the rapid rising and falling of my chest. The walls began to close in around me, and the sight of her confident chocolate eyes on mine was the only thing that kept my conscience anchored to the ground. "Is that…?"
Her nails pierced my flesh and she watched the door with unblinking intensity. "Yes." Her face was screwed in pain, and it was absolute torment to know there was nothing I could do to help.
"Nowhere to hide, Witch!" I swallowed an audible gasp as Boq's raspy snarl reverberated sed through the door and off the sparkling onyx walls. A battering ram was taken to the door, and the impact made the room quake. I launched myself into Elphaba's arms, digging my fingers into the fabric of her gown and clutching it for all I was worth. My eyes widened in horror as the wood began to crack and splinter in two. The rusted brass hinges looked mere seconds from tearing.
"El...Elphie…" I squeaked. She quickly but gently unlatched my arms from their koala-like grip around her neck, shoving me toward an alcove in the darkest corner of the room. I hadn't noticed it before, as it was camouflaged by a black glossimer curtain. She threw the fabric back, shoving me forward from behind.
"You have to hide," she hissed. I twisted against her grasp, bewildered. I was terrified, yes, but did she really expect me to leave her to face those… those heathens alone?"
"Elphaba, I-"
"No one can know you were here." She thrust her arm forward and I stumbled from the force. My back pressed against the cool brick.
"But, Elphie, they'll-" My breath caught in my throat. I couldn't bare to think of what was going to become of her if the mob broke through.
"Hide yourself." And without another word, she whisked the curtain over, so I was encased in total darkness.
I groped a few steps forward, reaching out to clutch at the veil. Before I could retch it open, the only barricade between Elphaba and the army ripped free from it's hinges. The thundering of boots across the floor shook my balance; I slapped my hands against the sides of the opening in order to stay upright, but the sound was muffled by the Witch Hunters' raging cries.
"Kill the Witch!"
"The Wicked dies alone!"
"Kill her!"
I clasped my hands around my head, curling into fetal position on the frigid floor, and barely noticing the cascade of tears streaming down my cheeks. I willed the chaos to fade, unable to face the reality of what was occurring.
"Noooo!" A slosh of water and a piercing scream echoed through the hall. I clenched my eyes shut tighter and pressed my head against my knees, her agony like a dagger to my heart.
When I moved again, I couldn't say how much time had passed. The sounds of battle still raged in my mind, and even though I hadn't seen what they'd done to her, I knew in my heart of hearts that the ghoulish visions of her suffering would never be able to vacate themselves from my nightmares. I pushed up into a stand, my legs shaking beneath me. They were numb from being kept curled, and I could barely stumble out from my hiding place; for an instant, I wished my heart could feel the same.
"Elphie…?" My voice was raspy and hoarse from crying. I knew it was useless to hope, but even after everything I'd heard, even with her tortured screams still ringing in my ears. I refused to wrap my mind around the fact that she was truly gone.
The silence engulfed me, threatening to snuff out what little life-force I had left, with its stillness and misguided serenity. In the dim light of the setting sun, my eyes drifted around the room, and I was amazed at how...calm it looked. If I didn't know any better, I wouldn't have guessed that anything of significance had happened at all, let alone the murder of my truest friend. Aside from a few scuff marks on the floor, and scraps of tattered clothing, the chambers looked almost identical to the way they had before. So much so, that I was beginning to think the brutal bloodbath that had occurred only hours before, really had been nothing more than my imagination.
Then I made the mistake of letting my gaze drift downward. My stomach convulsed, and the tears that had began to lessen to mere trickles, once again flowed with the force of raging rivers. I couldn't catch my breath, but as despair crashed over me, black with an endless void of hopelessness that I had never thought possible to experience, I wasn't sure I ever wanted to. My best friend was gone, and the thought of moving forward without her seemed impossible.
It was a cruel, monstrous trick of fate, I realized, that I, who had survived my entire, pathetic existence by masking my true identity behind glittering veils of lies and conformity, and who had never done a single did without considering its impact on my own precious reputation was alive, while Elphaba; brave, strong, unlimited Elphaba, who was never afraid to show her true colors and who had always and forever put the needs of others before her own, was dead. She had died a merciless and painful death at the hands of those who hated her, all to protect the Animals. And yet, all of Oz still thought her wicked.
I crumpled to my knees and reached out, resisting the urge to recoil as my fingertips collided with worn, velvet fabric. Her hat. The hat I had given her. The hideous hat that had ultimately led me to the truest and most courageous girl I'd ever known.
I pushed myself up to my knees and clutched the old object to my chest, burying my face in the fabric. "Oh Elphie…" I sobbed. "I'm so sorry, Elphie. Please… Please forgive me..."
"Your Goodness? Glinda? Wake up, dear."
"Elphie?" I woke with a start, bolting upright in bed. My gaze darted around the pitch black room, and for a moment, I was sure I'd fallen asleep on the cold, unforgiving concrete of Kaimo Ko. Everywhere I turned, the illusions of Elphaba sinking to the ground with those horridiffourous bruises marring her beautiful emerald skin clouded my vision. For the first time in two years, I almost wished I had seen her death, if only so these gruesome scenes would stop destroying my dreams.
I still remembered the stifling silence that had surrounded the cavern not long after her demise. As unsettling as it had seemed at the time, I now clung to that feeling with everything I had. I didn't dare to hope that the oddly subdued atmosphere might have meant there was more to the scene than had met my eye, and that Elphie might, somehow, have escaped. I couldn't let myself think like that, lest I wanted to be driven mad by my own fantasies and paranoid wishful thinking. After all, I had heard her scream,, and shrill noises like that only came from those facing their end.
I did, however, take comfort in the fact that, without any noticeable bloodstains or mangled remains, perhaps her final minutes of life were not as horrifying as I always imagined when I had only the slinking shadows of the night to turn to. Of course, it was also possible that the Hunter's had simply taken her body and completed the torture elsewhere. That was the only plausible explanation for my discovery of her hat, though I resisted the urge to take it with me. Instead, I'd left it there, as a sort of silent shrine. I hoped she knew, wherever she was, that while no one mourned the wicked, I did in fact, mourn her. Still, I used every bit of willpower I had to keep those crippling thoughts from controlling my subconscious, for fear I would drown in despair if they ever did.
"Your… Your Goodness?" A familiar, motherly voice cut through the panic welling in my chest. "Are you… Are you alright?"
I blinked in the dim light of the rising sun streaming through my window, focusing only on the slow rise and fall of my chest as my mind was anchored back to the present. Turning toward the door, I wiped the back of my hand across my damp eyes and managed a weak smile toward the Ram, whose kind gaze was laced with concern as she watched me from the hall. "Y-Yes, Maggie," I managed a watery smile and drew myself up. "I'm fine, thank you. Is it… Is it time for breakfast?"
"Fifteen minutes, Your Goodness, and then the festivities began at noon."
I suppressed a groan, fighting back the sting at the edges of my eyes and clenching my fists beneath the soft sheets. That explained the nightmare, and the nausea swirling in my stomach. Today marked two years since Elphaba had first been pronounced dead. I suddenly had the urge to do nothing but curl up beneath my blankets. Just once, I wished they would let me mourn my best friend in peace.
"Do you… require assistance this morning?"
I steeled my features and sunk my teeth into my bottom lip. I couldn't cry. Not now. Not ever. Oz would only ever see her as the Wicked Witch, and as their new ruler, and because it was Elphie's dying wish, I had to keep up appearances. Even if it wrecked me to do so. "No, thank you, Maggie. I'll be down in just a few clock ticks."
My handmaid studied my face, and I knew she could see through my cracking chipper facade. I held her gaze, much as it pained me. Finally, she nodded and gave a small bow. "As you wish, Your Goodness." She backed away and shut the door with a soft click. I waited until her footsteps faded away down the corridor before I finally released my breath. When I did, it came out only as a tiny, strangled sob. I allowed myself another full five minutes of wallowing, before I collected my emotions and pushed back the covers.
As my feet slid into my favorite fuzzy pick slippers, a thin white envelope resting on my nightstand made me stop short. My breath caught in my throat, and with shaking hands, I reached out to touch the seam of the glossy envelope, convinced for one small moment, that I was still dreaming. When the pads of my fingers collided with the smooth paper, I could barely contain the gasp of surprise that bubbled up in my throat. No. It couldn't be. It was impossible.
My eyes scanned the neat handwriting, printed in perfect cursive on the front of the envelope, and I traced my hand along the letters while mouthing the nickname I hadn't had the pleasure of being called since the night she died.
My sweet.
I tried to rationalize that this wasn't what I thought it was, that there was some other explanation- any other explanation- to the precious letter cradled in my hands. Maybe a suitor. Or Boq, or… Sweet wasn't an uncommon name. Though it had always been hers, It wasn't a stretch to believe that someone else would think to use it… But no matter how much I tried to slow my stampeding heart, I couldn't quite extinguish that tiny sliver of hope that had taken root in my chest. It was impossible, I knew that. And yet…
She was the only person who had ever called me that, and the only one that ever would. I picked up the letter, my whole body trembling with adrenaline as my thumb tore through the top, rip by agonizing rip.
With baited breath, I removed the aging paper, the half-fold perfect and crisp. It was just like Elphaba to be meticulous about that. The envelope fluttered to the floor,, and soon there was only a letter. A mysterious, terrifying, unbelievable letter resting in my palms.
For a moment, I was frozen, gripped by uncertainty like nothing I had ever known. I wondered if maybe I should just leave it; if I should bask in the glow of possibilities for just a few seconds longer, before my soul once again came crashing back to Earth.
It was tempting, that was for sure. I took another ten minutes to just stare at it, hope and abject fear fighting for control of my mind. I set it on the windowsill, next to the candle that was nothing more now than melted wax. I went about my duties of dressing, but all the while, couldn't tear my thoughts away. I got as close to leaving as resting my hand against the emerald encrusted knob of my chamber doors. Still, my gaze lingered on that weathered parchment.
What if this was real, and not just a dream? What if Elphaba really was out there, and she had written to tell me how to find her? What if, at last, I could return to my best friend?
All at once, I abandoned any pretense of rationale, scurrying over to the window. For two years, I had been left in the dark, despairing her death; wishing with all my heart that things had been different, that I had been different. That I'd had the courage to do good just a little bit sooner. I couldn't go back and change the past. I could only look forward to the future. But I had to know. No matter how much it tore me apart inside, I had to know the truth. Without another moment's hesitation, I finally pulled the paper back, and unfolded the letter.
My dearest Galinda,
This time I gasped out loud. The writing was hers, sure enough, but more than that, she was the only one who ever addressed me by my common name anymore. I'd asked everyone to call me Glinda after Doctor Dillamond was removed from Shiz, but, as she knew it had always been a mere, blonde-brained stunt to impress Fiyero, and one which I had regretted since the moment the words left my mouth, she never once obliged. The warmth swelled in my heart, tingling my insides from the tips of my fingers all the way down to my toes. I hurried to read on.
There is so much I wish to tell you; more than I can ever hope to say in one single letter. If you're reading this, it means that I didn't have time to say it myself without the risk of getting caught.
Caught. The word kept ringing in my ears, and I couldn't stop the delusional smile from spreading across my face. My first true smile in two years.
In order to fear being caught she had to be alive. The idea that she was still running, still watching her back at every turn, sent a stabbing pang of guilt through me, but the grin lingered. She was alive. That was more than I'd ever dared to hope.
If that is the case, then I'm sorry, my sweet, I'm so very sorry that a simple letter is all I have to offer at the moment. I wish I could give you more.
I actually laughed at that; same old Elphaba. She always thought she was never good enough, and I longed to tell her, again, just how preposterously wrong she was.
I don't really know where to began, because so much has happened since that night in Kaimo Ko, so I suppose I'll start with the thing I want the most for you to understand: Thank you.
Thank you for being my friend, for breaking down my walls and helping me remember what it felt like to be loved again. Thank you for always making me laugh. For picking me up whenever I was down. Thank you for bringing light into my life, when all I could see was darkness. Thank you for the fun we had. The late nights sharing secrets, and the early morning picnics by Suicide Canal. The endless pink-filled shopping sprees, and all the times you called me beautiful. (It's still a hard thing to believe, but I'm getting there.)
Tears had dampened my cheeks again, but this time, they were happy ones. "Oh, Elphie," I whispered. "Of course you're beautiful; I don't know how you could think otherwise."
Thank you for leading me to Fiyero, and for never turning your back on me, even when I deserved it, and the rest of Oz had. Thank you for chipping away at my defenses, and never giving up on me, even when the thing I wanted most in the world, was to give up on myself.
I sucked in my breath at that, the implications shrouding my mind as I took the flimsy paper and held it close to my heart. Almost as if she were here, and I was hugging her instead.
I love you, Glinda. As my best friend and as so much more. You're the sister I never had, and the handprint you left on my heart, and my live, still guides me everyday. I'll be thinking of you always, and we will see each other soon.
For good,
Elphie
P.S. Meet me in six months time, at Suicide Canal, and I'll explain everything. In the meantime, think of me at night, when the moon rises in the western sky.
A/N 2: Yes, I know the moon rises in the east, but this is Oz, so in my head it's backwards there.
