Unhallowed

Part 3

Sickeningly we were jolted back to reality to appropriately be greeted by pouring rain. Oh wondrous England. I did not mind the perpetual overcast weather, or the lush greenery brought on by the constant showers, but I did mind the humidity. It wasn't unbearable, but my long satiny brown hair did not appreciate it.

The night was starting to dissipate, though not very visibly through the heavy clouds and city lights. We stood affront two muggle houses numbered 11 and 13. The buildings were in subtle disrepair, but nothing too major. Severus took a step away from me to go have a chat with one of the other wizards.

I sloshed my feet around the soaked roads and peered up at the sky. This time of day was relaxing. The cold chill of the water as it washed over me helped to put me at ease. The cold droplets of water were glorious so long as they remained unaccompanied by wind. I could hear the muted sounds of alarms and the low rumbling of trolleys in the city. I watched the light as it glinted off the droplets of water and truly appreciated to be away from Spain. I never did prefer sunlight. On occasion, like a cool Spring evening or Autumn morning it was bearable, but I preferred the diffused light offered by a well overcast sky.

"When was the last time you ate?" Severus' voice drawled.

"Yesterday," I absently responded. Mmmm… but I was again interrupted.

"More specifically, when was the last time you drank?" He finished pointedly. How subtle. I had to think. I usually managed across blood about once a week, but I hadn't been to a supply shop in two weeks.

"Nine days," I quietly responded, trying to maintain the peace of the moment, but the small voice in my head couldn't keep quiet, 3 days longer than usual. And those two days make the difference…

"What's the longest you've gone?" he asked. Again with the questions… I couldn't hold onto the peace for very long. I felt the irritation edging in. Why were my states numb, content, and irritated? Because you replace all the other states with numb to stay in control…..touché' good lady, touché'.

With an itching annoyance I jerked my head away from the sky towards him. If looks could kill…I suppose it is better they can't.

"Three weeks," I answered. Barely. That was the most unpleasant three weeks of my life. After about twelve days the hunger bleeds into every facet of your thoughts and your senses. After about eighteen days instincts override almost all conscious thought. That small ounce of yourself that is locked in a small box is all you have to remind yourself that you still exist. It was enough to get myself locked in a room and curled in a ball and…

I realized the silence of my surroundings as I heard a soft pop of the air and distinct sloshing of water. I reflexively turned towards the sound. So far everyone I had encountered this evening were dressed in muggle attire as to not attract attention at the club. Like disapparating wouldn't. I could tell, however, that the heavily outlined figure was wearing robes, both from the silhouette and from the sound of the hem dragging through the water as the individual approached.

After an agonizing few seconds, breath caught in my throat. Panic and calm struck me simultaneously fear and calm washed over me. Trust…I won the trust of…the words started out weak in my head and faded to nothing. I couldn't think. Was this happening? They said education, but…him? I shuddered. It is him. It is him. It is him… pounded in my head, but I wasn't feeling exasperated, I was feeling faint.

Then standing a few feet away from me was the ancient seeming wizard who was adorned in a long silver beard and half-moon spectacles. A small smile played on his lips as he gazed at me apparently bemused.

A small feeling turned in my stomach, and at first I could not recognize what the feeling was. It just burrowed itself further and further into my stomach and turned and turned. It made me feel slightly ill, though mostly because I could not recognize it.

The wizard stopped only a foot away from myself and he proffered his hand. With my stomach already in the process of continuous turn over, I don't think I would be able to stomach anymore pressure from the most uncomfortable transport imaginable. That's what it gets for being efficient…ha yeah, not for my lunch.

I smirked slightly bemused.

"I think I'll pass," I finally coaxed out. Albus Dumbledore simply continued to look bemused with his hand held out before him.

"Don't worry," he started. My stomach continued its mad upheaval. Don't worry. So calming….that's when I realized the feeling. "We won't be going anywhere, I simply need to show you something."

Distractedly I respond, "I can see your hand quite clearly, and I will accept its existence without having to touch it." Dumbledore chuckled. That cemented the feeling. As I identified the churning, it started to cease. Hope. The small voice in my head offered. Hope of…something….my mind began to madly race to find out hope of what, but it would require more than a few desperate moments of thought. It would require reflection.

"I am quite astonished at your calm demeanor and subversive humor, though I can assure you that I do not doubt your powers of observation," his eyes twinkled. They made me feel peace. "I need you to take my hand."

If this was the wizard whose trust I had won, how could I not trust him in return? I glanced at him apprehensively and then rested my gaze on the sky again. I allowed my eyes to flutter closed as I held my hand out towards his. As my palm came to rest on his, I sensed no change. However, after a few seconds loud screeching began and my eyes flew open. Dumbledore still looked towards me bemused, but my attention was drawn to the building inching themselves away from each other and a third, more dilapidated building emerging from betwixt them. A Fidelius charm. I was in varying states of awe as my mind raced. My brain wanted to explode. I wanted to be able to freeze and separate the moments as the thoughts raced.

Dumbledore…he's the secret keeper. Of what? Of this building? What is this place? Its number 12. I've heard of this. It was a pureblood house. It didn't used to be hidden. It's the Black house…but…yes Black was escaped for two years? That long? But he disappeared again. So he's consorting with. Oh god. And Severus! Severus. He's…Dumbledore is here though, and so is…so they…

My thoughts were becoming less and less coherent as I was bombarded by so much contradictory information. I snapped my head around to look at Severus. His dark eyes bored into mine. I wheeled back around to Dumbledore. I kept looking back and forth until I felt it futile. I didn't have enough information to comprehend what was going on. My hands trembled slightly out of frustration. I wanted to attack something and scream and curl up and cry.

Frustration was washing over me in crashing waves until a small reserved part of my conscious not in upheaval whispered. If you don't belong in a normal reality, perhaps you can exist in an impossible premise. Perhaps you will… I didn't want to let myself think it…but I needed to come to terms. Perhaps you will fit into whatever this madness is.

This calmed me. I allowed a deep breath and allowed my eyes to close for an infinitesimal small period of time. Though I doubted the entire experience had been betrayed by my face, I had made sure to reinstate the envelope of indifference. I pulled my hand away from Dumbledore's.

"I have waited very long to meet you," Dumbledore stated, "but there is an entire house full of very anxious witches and wizards who are just as eager to meet you." He swept his hand in the direction of the house. "Would you accompany me to your new home?"

The idea of a home was far too alien to accept. I allowed that one to pass, but what I could not get past was the idea of staying in an entire house filled with witches and wizards. My skin crawled and my stomach turned in disgust. The last time I had been surrounded by an abnormally large group of wizards they primarily deatheaters. Disgusting..i'd never feed off them. But how would I keep myself away from an entire house all too willing to let me in?

There was a reason vampires rarely kept human company. It was…difficult. Perhaps if I had eaten more recently, but I had not. I felt my throat constrict over the burning sensation.

I allowed a curt nod of my head. Dumbledore swept around and lead me towards the door of the dark but inviting Grimauld Place