These Little Earthquakes

A FanFic by Iddyboo

Disclaimer: The story is mine but the characters are his. All Characters in this Fanfic associated with Law and Order: SVU belong to Dick Wolf. The other characters are my creation and the story is from my crazy little mind. The story is set around the end of 2009. Possible EO, possibly not but hopefully you will enjoy! Please review and let me know your thoughts. Special Thanks to MALove17 for being my beta showing this old girl how to post on FF!

Lyrics from Tori Amos' Little Earthquakes- I love this song and it really makes me understand how we are damaged and healed.

Chapter 3-

Olivia awoke the next morning feeling as though a Mack truck had hit her. She made a call to Cragen and informed him she would not be in. Olivia NEVER missed work so the Captain knew she felt bad. Elliot had not made it in yet. He decided to call Kathy the day before and ask if he could come by and take Eli for an ice cream. Eli was in a clingy mood and wanted his dad. He ended up spending the night with Elliot. When he walked into the squad room he expected to find Olivia, Fin and Munch as normal. "Good morning sunshine," Munch exclaimed, "You look happy, did you finally cave and tell Olivia your true feelings?" "Ha, you got jokes this early huh," Elliot said. "Where's Liv?"

"Sick!"

"What's wrong with her?"

"Flu"

Olivia was at home resting on her couch. She thought back to a few days ago when Elliot was asking her if she ever wanted more. All her life Olivia wanted more. When she was a child, she wanted to know she was wanted, loved. She would watch other mothers hug their children, snuggle with them, talk with them and show them they were important. Olivia knew she was a burden, an unwanted item to be discarded whenever the reality of her conception was too much for her mother to bare.

Oh these little earthquakes, here we go again

These little earthquakes, doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

When Olivia was in her twenties, she met the person she thought she would marry, have a family and grow old with. His name was Donald Anderson and he was an attorney. A tax attorney, the safe kind! Donald was tall with blonde hair and blue eyes. The total opposite of any other man Olivia had dated. He was soft with a sensitive side and surprisingly built for a tax attorney. Olivia was in love with Donald. She loved how he made her feel, how gentle he was. Donald was shocked when he first found out she was a detective for the SVU. Donald knew it was a stressful job and was sensitive to what Olivia endured on a daily basis. They had been dating for almost two years when he asked Olivia for her hand in marriage. She accepted and they set a date. She was going to be Mrs. Donald Anderson, Benson-Anderson had a nice ring to it, she thought. Olivia loved her life. She was transferred from the 55th precinct to the 16th precinct in 1993 where she met her new partner Patrick Griffin. Patrick was a good guy and really helped Olivia feel safe and important. He showed her the ropes and was protective of the female detective. They had a great relationship and could talk about anything. Patrick was married and had two young children. He was happy for Olivia and during down times, would talk about all the things she would get to look forward to.

Olivia was happy and settled but she knew better than to get out of her comfort zone. Donald and Olivia were both athletic and enjoyed running each day. When they found themselves off together, they made it a habit to take run in Central Park and this day was no different. It was Saturday morning, one Olivia will never forget. They awoke that morning, wrapped in each other's arms, naked and still tired from their lovemaking the night before. "Do you want some breakfast my love," Olivia asked as she stretched, "How does peppered bacon, scrambled eggs and silver dollar pancakes sound?"

Donald shot Olivia a look and they both began cracking up. Their hectic lifestyles did not make for either one of them to be culinary masters, let alone run of the mill cooks. As they sat together, he with coffee and her with tea, eating a piece of buttered toast, they contemplated what they would do to fill the day.

"Honey, perhaps we should register soon. My mother has called me 50 times since we set the date. I think she is more excited about our china patterns than we are," exclaimed Donald.

"Well lets go take a run, get ready and we'll head down to Macy's," said Olivia. "We can check out the outrageous patterns for place settings we'll probably never use."

Olivia awoke to a knock at her door. "Hey Liv, its me El, can I use my key?" She drug herself off of the couch, "I'm coming, I'm coming." She open the door, "Hey, oh God, you look like hell!"

"Well good morning to you too!" Olivia flopped back down on the couch. "Liv, have you had anything to eat, you want some tea?" He reached over and touched her head, "Good lord your burning up." "El, I'll be fine. I am feeling a bit better, just need to rest."

"Look, I'm going to run down to the deli and grab you something to eat and pick you up some Thera-Flu. You need to take something to help with the symptoms and fever. I'll be back in about 30 minutes."

"Thanks El, I appreciate it. What's going on at work?"

"Nothing that I want you to worry about." The truth was Elliot was worried sick about his partner since IAB was breathing down their necks with evidence that pointed to Olivia being responsible for a murder. Elliot knew they would get to the bottom of the situation and there was no way his partner was the perpetrator.

Once Elliot left, Olivia's thoughts returned to Donald. The truth was the morning they made love, ate breakfast, talked china patterns and made plans for the future, was the last few moments of the life they shared together. As they began their morning jog, a car was speeding through the neighborhood and Donald was struck and killed instantly. Olivia felt warm tears falling from her eyes as she silently cried herself to sleep.

Give me life, Give me pain, Give me myself again…