Hello! Chapter three is here and things are about to heat up. Is Stan aware of what he's getting himself into? How will Kyle get close to lovely Bebe Stevens? How is Cartman dealing with his feelings for Shelly? Stay tuned and find out!
Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or the following quote.
Chapter 3: How Lucky You Are
"Tell yourself how lucky you are..."
There it was, hanging on the door to the athletic office, the 2010 Park County Middle School football roster. Stan quietly stood just a few feet away as a bunch of eighth graders scanned the list. He took some deep breaths as he prepared himself to go look at the list. It doesn't matter what position I play. I'm cool as long as I'm on the team. He reassured himself. The eighth graders left but Stan hesitated.
"What the fuck are you waiting for?" asked Cartman, "Stop being a pussy and go look at the list before more eighth graders show up!"
"Mmmmm mmmm hmmmm mmmmmmmmm!" said Kenny.
"I'm going! I'm going! Eesh!" Stan began to walk forward.
Stan approached the list and scanned it for his name. He scanned the seventh graders column and didn't see his name. He didn't make it? That's not possible. The coach adored him yesterday. It didn't make sense. Stan sighed and decided to look at the starters column for the hell of it. As soon as his eyes hit the top of the starters column his jaw dropped. "No way!" he cried, "No fucking way!"
"What is it?" said Kyle as ran up to join Stan. The other two boys quickly followed suit.
"Look!" Stan pointed to the top of the starters column, "Starting Quarterback- Stan Marsh!"
"Congrats!" Kyle held out his fist and Stan fist bumped him.
"Dude!" cried Cartman, "You have no idea how lucky you are! You're up there with the eighth graders! Forget Wendy! With your popularity, you can get eighth grade girls!"
"Mmm mmm hmmm mmm hmmm!" cried Kenny.
"Ew! No, Kenny, I will not get an eighth grade girl to give you a blow job! Last time you had one, you died of syphilis!" said Stan.
"Stan's right, Kenny" added Cartman, "How many times have I told you that a girl's mouth is unsanitary and should not touch your penis?"
"Hmmmmm!" whined Kenny.
"You guys still think I'm whipped?" asked Stan.
Before any of the three boys could answer the bell rang for class.
"God damn it!" screamed Cartman, "I didn't do my history homework! Kyle can I copy yours real quick?"
"No way, Fatass. I have math now." said Kyle as he turned to leave, "See you guys later!"
"Fucking Jew!" Cartman screamed after him before he turned and left.
Three weeks went by and Kyle still didn't have a plan for getting close to Bebe. He thought about it day and night but nothing came to him. He didn't see much of Stan because of football so just he and Kenny had to deal with Cartman's bragging about his up coming birthday party.
"Hmm mmm hmmm hmmm?" asked Kenny.
"It's a week from Saturday, Kenny. You better there cause it's gonna be cooool!" said Cartman, "You know what, Kyle?"
"What Fatass?" Kyle prepared for an insult.
"I've decided you can come to my party. I want you see how cooool it's gonna be and everyone thinking I'm cooool and you're not!" said Cartman.
"Gee, thanks. Lucky me" said Kyle sarcastically.
Then the door to room 115, the room where Kyle had math, opened and Bebe ran out as she broke into tears. Bebe didn't look where she was going. She didn't care if hit someone, she was too upset. In her frenzy, she plowed right through the three boys and hit a very stunned Kyle as she passed.
"Mmm mmm hmm hmm mmm?" said Kenny.
"I don't know" responded Kyle, "But I'm gonna find out."
Kyle turned and ran after Bebe. He found her sitting outside on the front steps. Next to her was a piece of paper. On closer inspection Kyle recognized it as the math test they took at the end of last week and Bebe hadn't done so well. Kyle approached with caution. When he was right behind her he put his hand on her shoulder, "Bebe?"
Bebe turned around, "Oh, hey, Kyle."
"Can I sit down?" Kyle asked.
"Sure" Bebe sniffed.
"I don't mean to pry, but what happened?" Kyle asked.
Bebe broke down again, "I'm failing advanced math and if I don't get my grade up before end of the quarter then I'm gonna be on academic probation and I won't be able to cheer!"
Kyle put his arm around her, "I don't understand. I thought you were good at math."
"So did I" said Bebe between sobs, "But this pre-algebra stuff is different. I don't understand it at all."
Then it hit him. Kyle knew what he had to do, "I have an A in math, perhaps I could help you."
Bebe stopped crying, "You would do that for me?"
"Of course" replied Kyle.
Bebe grinned and threw her arms around him, "Thank you, thank you so much! Kyle, you're the best! I'm so lucky you're here! Is there anything I can do for you?"
Kyle grinned, he knew exactly what he wanted. He pulled apart from Bebe but didn't let go of her, "Come to my bar mitzvah. Bring Wendy too."
"When is it?" Bebe asked.
"October 19th. There's a ceremony in the morning and the party's that night." said Kyle.
"I'll be there" said Bebe, "If I'm not grounded for my grade in math."
"Don't worry" reassured Kyle, "I won't let that happen."
