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Yes an update shocking I know. What will the Mary-Sue do next? Are any of the characters safe? Are Rachael and Tanya safe? Does anyone really give a damn? Read on and find out!

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Disclaimer- I own nothing! ...Except the OC's but you can take Bloom. Yes, that's right; you can take Bloom!

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Listening to- Once Upon A December- Anastasia Soundtrack

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It was a lovely day with relatively normal, slightly cloudy weather.

That's right my lovelies, there were no sickening descriptions to speak of which made Rachael and Tanya very happy!

At the moment they were arguing.

Sirius, Remus, Peter, Frank, Alice, Marlene and Lily were watching the argument in amusement.

Agatha and Sophie were silently cheering for Rachael, though they had no choice as she was basically their God. If they didn't root for her, she could easily destroy them and they liked existing thank you very much.

"We don't really need to!" Rachael insisted for the hundredth time.

"Yes we do!" snapped Tanya. "We have to look like normal students or Bloom Too-Many-Middle-Names Kent will get suspicious!"

"But we're trying to be Mary-Sues!" said Rachael for the millionth time. "Not normal students! Besides she was automatically put in Gryffindor, she didn't get Sorted at all."

"Rachael" said Tanya as though speaking to a four year old. "Look at us; we look nothing like Mary Sues!"

"And thank Merlin for that" Alice muttered.

"Well...we could...we could...BAH! Do we have to?" Rachael moaned.

"Yes" said Tanya. "Besides coming here was your idea need I remind you?"

"And I'm starting to regret it" Rachael huffed folding her arms. Then she glanced at Sirius. "Though I suppose there are some benefits..."

"What did you say?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing Siri don't you worry you're hot little head about it!"

"Don't call me Siri!"

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Dumbledore's Office

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"Dumbledore we need to be Sorted" said Tanya to Dumbledore.

Dumbledore blinked at her. "How did you get in my office?" he asked.

"We bribed the gargoyle with Chocolate Frogs" said Rachael beaming. "I always said chocolate was a life saver!"

"So can we be Sorted?" Tanya asked Dumbledore.

Dumbledore nodded. "I don't see why not" he said, "There more students the merrier!"

"Trust me you won't be saying that when Tanya has James and Sirius tied to her bed" Rachael muttered.

"What?" said Dumbledore.

Oh snap he heard!

"Nothing!" said Rachael quickly. "I said nothing, you heard nothing!"

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The Sorting...God help the students...

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"Now although the term has already started we are going to be Sorting two new students!" said Dumbledore brightly to the Great Hall at Dinner Time. "We are going to be Sorting Ms Esmerelda and Ms Destiny!"

Barely any students were paying attention. They were too busy staring at Bloom.

"Damn Mary-Sue" Rachael muttered. "Effecting my characters and Benjy I swear I will kill you!"

Tanya went first.

"...You're not eleven" the Hat said.

"Well spotted genius" thought Tanya rolling her eyes.

"I see you have taken online Sorting Tests" said the Hat.

"Of course I have!" thought Tanya grinning. "And you better say what all the tests say!"

"Very well...GRYFFINDOR!"

Tanya pulled the Hat off her head and tossed it casually to Rachael as she strutted to the Gryffindor table.

The unaffected Gryffindors cheered although Sirius was starting to worry that he wouldn't be a virgin by morning.

Good thing he was good at protective charms eh?

Rachael put the Hat on her head.

"Um, hello?" said the Hat. "Am I on somebody?"

"I'm walking on sunshine! Ooh! I'm walking on sunshine!"

"Um, what?"

"Aye, aye, aye I'm your little butterfly, green, black and blue make the colours in the sky!"

"Do you always think about music?"

"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now..."

"Can you please stop thinking about music so I can sort you?"

"Pretty, pretty please don't you ever, ever feel like you're less than Fuckin' Perfect!"

"Language! Merlin it's like Black all over again!"

"What? Black? As in Sirius Black? SQUEE YOU COMPARED ME TO SIRIUS! I'M SO HAPPY!"

That Hat sighed. "Yes I compared you to Black now will you please just let me sort you?"

"Sorry, I'll stop now."

"Good. Now let's see...OH SWEET MERLIN! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING? IS THAT EVEN LEGAL? NOT EVEN BELLATRIX WAS THIS SICK! YOU'VE ONLY KNOWN BLACK FOR A DAY AND YOU'RE THINKING THAT? I SHOULD CALL THE AURORS! ALERT THE MINISTRY! DEAR GOD HAVE MERCY ON THE MARAUDERS!"

"Hey! Give me a break I'm a teenager!"

"And that's supposed to be a proper excuse?"

"Yeah. And besides I'm trying to destroy a Mary-Sue! I'm a good guy Mr Hat!"

"Just keep thinking that kiddo. So you've taken Sorting tests too?"

"As any real HP fan does!"

"Right...I'll just go with what the tests say, anything to get off your head faster...HUFFLEPUFF!"

The Hufflepuffs cheered, some still looking at Bloom and Sophie jumped up and down and made a rude hand gesture at Agatha yelling "HA HA BITCH! MY HOUSE GOT OUR CREATOR!"

Agatha pouted.

Rachael grinned as she sat down. If only there was a way to bring Cedric here! Then everything would be even cooler!

And what did they Hat mean anyway? Her thoughts weren't that disturbing...Well, when they came to Sirius, she supposed they were.

'Oh Sirius you ride of a boy you!' Rachael thought happily. She was in the same room as the Marauders, she was in Hogwarts with the Marauders.

Heaven help them!

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A/N: Yeah, there wasn't much about Bloom in here but she'll be in the next chapter I promise!