My father begins his annual speech. I can't hear it. My brain rejects all input. I glance over my shoulder looking to see where Primrose is. She's somewhere lost in the crowd of twelve year olds, the entire pack of them shivering at their first Reaping. This can't be happening! Why did I listen to those men?

Effie's insufferable voice cracks through my daze once more. She speaks two quick lines and bustles over to the table where the glass bowls sit, just waiting to heap guilt on me. She dunks her hand into the female entries and my eyes flutter closed, begging that I messed up somehow, wishing that I hadn't made the switch. My teeth clench when I hear her read the name I knew would be on the entry.

Primrose marches stiffly toward the stage, her cute, little face set with an almost comically-grim frown that breaks my heart, tears brimming at the bottom of my eyes. I look away, shame tearing through me, self-loathing that dwarfs my introverted isolation.

"Prim!" Katniss' voice cracks through the air like a whip. My teeth chatter behind my lips. "Prim! I volunteer! I volunteer!" When my eyes reopen, I see Katniss pushing her sister behind her back.

"Lovely!" Effie's amplified voice chirps through the speakers. "But I believe there's a small matter of introducing the reaping winner and then asking for volunteers, and if one does come forth then… we…"

My father interrupts her babbling, "Oh, what does it matter?" He grimaces at Katniss. "What does it matter? Let her come forward."

Katniss starts up the stairs to the stage when Primrose panics, voice squealing with fear at what awaits her older sister. Gale rushes forward as Katniss begins to scold Primrose in a whisper. He hefts her up, shares a few words with Katniss, and carries Primrose, still struggling, back toward Mrs. Everdeen.

My stomach aches, thankful that I haven't eaten today, because it surely would have come back up, now. Effie looks to Katniss as she approaches. "Well, bravo! What's your name?"

"Katniss Everdeen." She looks different than she did earlier today, even with minimal effort; her features take a gentler curve, giving her a unique beauty. I stare regretfully at this girl who is willing to throw away her life for her sister, all too aware of my own hesitance to rig the Reaping, lest I be selected.

Effie invites everyone to cheer for Katniss and no one does. Rather, the District salutes her. I don't have the heart to participate since I'm responsible for her being up there. My shoulders sag, the dress feels like a rag on my skin, as though I'm naked in front of all these people. I close my eyes, feeling faint.

Haymitch Abernathy staggers across the stage drunkenly. I can hardly perceive his words through his intoxicated buzz. Haymitch was one of the four men from the underground who talked me into this. They refused to tell me who it was they wanted selected and now I understand why. Why did I listen to a renowned alcoholic? Haymitch, for being the only living victor of the Hunger Games in District 12, wasn't very well liked and for good reasons. His rant was brought to an abrupt close when he fell off the stage, knocking himself out.

Then Peeta is selected and no one volunteers for him. My father reads the Treaty of Treason. Its harrowing words crush at my mind as the two tributes fill my vision, blotting out the rest of Panem. Katniss' face is twisted into a dark scowl. Peeta looked as though he might cry, his chin shaking with each bass note of the Panem national anthem that had begun to play following the reading of the Treaty.

My right fist was still clenched, still gripping the entries. As the Reaping wraps up, Peacekeepers usher Peeta and Katniss through the front doors of the Justice Building. I push around people who are leaving, struggling until I get to the stairs, bounding up them haphazard on my unsteady shoes.

The tributes are already at the back of the lobby being whisked off to different wings of the building. "Katniss!" the whisper moans from my throat.

"Madge, you're here!" My father tells the Peacekeeper next to him to wait a minute. Behind him, I see the Mellark family walk through the Justice Building doors. "I'm going to invite the Mellarks to the dinner. Do you want to invite the Everdeens?"

My head shakes, no. I don't know how I could get the words would to come out at all.

"Okay," he turns to the Peacekeeper, "don't let anyone see her until I give you the go ahead." The man nods and then moves off. My father turns to the Mellarks and escorts them toward the back of the lobby.

Fatigue begins to overtake me and I plop down on a hardwood bench beside the wall of the lobby. This wasn't what I expected. I knew there would be some feeling of guilt and I also know that there would have been two tributes, no matter what. Somehow, this sense of wrongdoing is stronger than I expected; pushing me to test my ability to tolerate the misery I have arranged for other people.

Gale pushes on one of the doors and walks inside, followed by Mrs. Everdeen and Primrose, her skin rosy from fresh tears. I stand and walk over to them, keeping my voice quiet, as it always is; this time not from reservation, but from the fear that I may cry. "They'll let you see her in a minute." I glance around taking note of how far away each of the Peacekeepers are, remembering that voices echo in this room. I turn back to the Everdeens, "I'm really sorry." If it hadn't been so hushed, my voice would have cracked in a whimper.

"Thank you, dear," Mrs. Everdeen whispers in reply.

I lead the group around into the left hand corridor, hearing quiet discussion behind me. Peacekeepers guard the door where Katniss is awaiting visitors. They won't let anyone in yet.

"Mrs. Everdeen?" My father's voice drifts down the hallway as he strides over, "I know this isn't what you would like to be doing with this time, but I wanted to catch you as soon as I could. It's a tradition in District 12 that the tribute's families have dinner with the mayor and I would be greatly honored if you would care to join my family tomorrow."

I turn away from the conversation, for the first time sensing how awkward such an invitation must be for the family. He invites Gale as well, but Gale doesn't make any commitment. My father tells the Peacekeepers to let us in now, just before he heads back toward the lobby. I stare after him, his head shining under the lights, and I wonder how he manages to stay composed during Reaping Day. My father and I are not very close, anymore. Everyone in my family keeps at a distance.

"You want to go in all at once?"

I shake my head and Gale replies, "I want to go in just myself. If it's alright with you."

Mrs. Everdeen nods as she and Primrose go into the room. Gale leans against a wall staring at me, a frown plastered across his face. I'm not even confident that I want to go in, not sure that I could keep it together around the girl I set up to fall. It should have occurred to me that Katniss would volunteer, not that it matters anymore. Why Katniss and Peeta? What did Eagan's father see that no one else could?