A/N: I don't own Hetalia, yes I know, it's surprising.


Kaoru's P.O.V.

After three hours of hearing Arthur swear, rip his own hair out, and repeatedly scream his frustrations to the heavens, Kaoru decided to speak up.

"Arthur..."

"What!" He snapped.

"Maybe you should take a break. It's been hours." Kaoru replied cooly.

"Perhaps, but the whole thing is so bloody stressful! And I have to post the final cast list on the bulletin board tomorrow morning!" Arthur returned his focus to his notes and released a chain of cursing so long, it was almost impressive.

Kaoru gave a non-committal grunt then stared down his homework. After a short, very one-sided inner battle, he decided to procrastinate. It was Friday, after all. Not like he had to do it right away.

Another hour of angry utterances and hair pulling later, Arthur abruptly stood from his desk.

"Fuck it," Arthur tossed the page into a file folder, "As good as it's going get."

Tino's P.O.V.

Under normal circumstances, on a Saturday morning, Tino would not have been eager to wake up Lukas or Mathias (especially at 8:00am), but these were not normal circumstances. Today, the cast list for Romeo and Juliet was going to be posted, and Tino was absolutely ecstatic.

Heading to the bathroom to get dressed, he hummed to himself, still unsure of how he'd wake them without getting himself killed, yelled at, accidentally slapped (it had happened before), or otherwise bodily injured.

When he exited the bathroom he was greeted by Eduard and Berwald.

"M'rn'n', T'no."

"Morning, Berwald, Eduard," he smiled at them both, "Are we going to get the others now?"

"Why are you so eager to have yourself killed?" Eduard asked sarcastically, "Alright, let's go."

When the three arrived at Mathias and Lukas' dorm, they just stared at the door, as if expecting it to open itself, revealing an already readied Lukas and Mathias.

Finally, Berwald reached forward to turn the knob, the door, as expected, was unlocked. Tentatively, he pushed the door open and the entered the dorm.

Naturally, they were both dead-asleep, Lukas contorted into a position Tino could not imagine being remotely comfortable.

Berwald and Tino seemed to come to a silent agreement to wake up Mathias and Lukas respectively. Without haste, Tino approached Lukas. He gently whispered, "Lukas...Lukas...It's time to get up, we need to-mph" Suddenly Tino was whacked in the face with the Norwegians' pillow.

"Go away," Lukas groaned, sliding the pillow back under his head and rolling over.

"Please, the cast list is being posted-"

"Don't care."

Tino decided to switch tactics, "If you get up, I'll get you coffee."

This made Lukas stir. He rolled back over, eyes still closed, "Okay. Just give me a minute."

Satisfied, Tino checked on Berwald, who was so far unsuccessful.

"G't up."

No response.

"M'thi's, g't up n'w,"

"Ugh." Mathias complained, burying his face in his pillow and covering his ears.

This back-and-forth continued for several minutes, and eventually Tino joined in the impossible mission of getting Mathias up. Stubbornly, he didn't budge, no matter what.

Then, a now changed Lukas spoke up, "Mathias, I'm up, so you should suck it up and get dressed."

"Not getting up."

"Get up or I'll pour cold water on you."

Mathias then made the mistake of ignoring the threat. Seconds later, Lukas went into the bathroom then emerged from the bathroom with a large cup. He sleepily shuffled over to Mathias, cup poised over him.

At first, Tino thought Lukas was going to warn Mathias that he was actually going to soak him.

He was wrong.

The sound of water slapping fabric, as well as Mathias' screaming, filled the room.

"Hell!" He shouted, springing out of bed.

"I told you," Lukas responded plainly.

"I didn't-"

"Shut up and change."

After waking Emil, and (as promised) getting Lukas a coffee, the six walked to the end of the school where the bulletin board was.

To their surprise, there was already a small crowd gathered outside.

"Door's locked; we're waiting for the secretary," Al explained.

Tino nodded and walked close to the door, seeing that the list had infact already been posted.

He looked to his friends, Mathias was leaning against the wall, hair still wet, standing next to him was Lukas, who was sipping on his coffee, staring off, but seeming a little too proud of himself for his method of waking Mathias, neither one of them was speaking. Emil was disinterested in everything around them, and Eduard was with his brothers, leaving Tino in an awkward silence with Berwald.

After a few minutes and several conversation attempts on Tino's part, the unspoken rule of keeping quiet was broken by Feliks, "Like, Toris, when will the secretary person show up!" He asked, much too loudly for those who were still only half-conscious, "I'm dying to know the results!" Feliks carried on melodramatically.

"I-I'm sure she'll be here any minute now, Feliks." Toris replied quietly, clearly uncomfortable with being addressed so loudly.

As if on cue, the secretary marched in at that moment. She briskly came up to the crowd, glared down everyone, and made a shooing hand gesture as if to say, 'Move it, brats!'.

Everyone complied, shuffling out of her, forming a ring around the door.

As she unlocked the double doors and pulled out the key, held up a hand, making it clear that if anyone dared storm the room before she was out of the way, she'd personally decapitate them.

Everyone heeded, but once she entered her office, the crowd had instantly clouded around the list, desperately trying to find their own name.

"Like, what! How could he cast her as Juiet!" Feliks shrieked.

"Aha! Yes, the hero is Romeo!" Alfred hollered, which sparked an argument between him and Natalia.

"No. You cannot be Romeo," Natalia stated.

"Why not?" Al pouted.

"Because I am Juliet," she said, pointing at the page, "and there's no way I could even pretend to love you."

"Aw, c'mon, you know you want to be my Juliet," Alfred teased.

Natalia balled her fists, "The only reason I'd ever want that is if I were on something," she hissed in response before storming away, not giving him the time to respond.

"I'm... Benvolio?" Matthew voiced, obviously perplexed.

"What! I'm not on here! Pourquoi? I was absolutely parfait, non?" Francis exclaimed.

"Never mind that," Gil cut Francis off, "Who the hell is Mercutio?"

Several more people started talking all at once. Some were pleased, some simply accepted the parts they'd been given. But they were drowned out by Feliks and Francis' dramatic protests, as well as Feliciano's inexplicable excitement.

"Like, what the hell! Sampson only appears in one scene!"

"Ve~ It says I'm Friar John! Is that good, Ludwig?"

Tino had been on the side waiting for an opening, when Mathias shoved through the crowd and said, "Get outta the way, I'm checking the list."

Mathias was skimming over the page, searching for their five names.

"...Woah, I'm a prince! Awesome!" He shouted out, then continued down the page, "...Emil, it says you are Tybalt...Berwald: Capulet. Tino-" without warning, Mathias descended into a raucous laughing fit.

"W-what is it?" Tino asks, concerned for what could cause such an extreme reaction.

Between whoops, Mathias managed, "See for... Yourself..." He stepped aside to make room for Tino, clutching his stomach.

Worried, he scanned the page. When he found what Mathias was laughing about, his face went slack and his eyes widened.

At first, he found himself unable to muster words. "W-what," he finally managed, "I-I'm... Lady Capulet?" He finished, feeling his cheeks going red.


A/N: For the severe lack of pairing related stuff so far, I present to you Lukas waking Mathias up in the most effective (and cruel) way possible.

Translation-

Pourquoi? - Why?